by Lexie Ray
There were a couple of texts from Eileen, but not even curiosity could goad me into opening that can of worms. I flung the phone away from me, closed my eyes, and did everything I could to suffocate the endless loop of thoughts playing over and over again in my mind. What could I have done different to avoid this outcome with Hadley? If only I were smarter. If only I were more of a man for her. If only I could read her thoughts and fully understand why she didn’t want to be with me. If only …
“Hunter. Hunter, wake up.”
I blinked my eyes open, feeling groggy. It was dark. Had I slept through the entire day?
“Why didn’t anyone wake me up sooner?” I rubbed my eyes and sat up in the bed, reaching for the prosthesis I was spooning like a lover. It was already lonely in this damn thing. Hadley’s body made for a much better bedfellow.
“Well, we figured you could use the rest.” I could just make out Chance’s hulking shape in the dimness of the room.
“But you didn’t figure I should sleep through the night?” I was confused.
“Can’t you hear it?” he asked.
“Hear what?”
He didn’t answer, just let me strain my own ears to finally discern conversations—no, shouts—floating up from downstairs.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded, strapping my prosthesis on, finally awake fully. “What’s going on?”
“You’re just going to have to see for yourself.” Was this an emergency, or wasn’t it? Why had Chance, the historical problem solver of the family, woken me up to deal with whatever was happening? Was I still fuzzy from sleep, or did I detect a note of amusement in his voice?
I eased myself down the stairs, unable to understand what was going on even as the voices became clearer, the words understandable.
“You rotten, white trash bitch! He was never meant for you! Keep your dirty hands away from him!”
“If you touch me, you will not only have a mouth full of broken teeth to show for it, you’ll have a lawsuit.”
“What the hell would you have to sue me over?”
“Harassment. Trespassing. Assault with a controlled substance. Stalking. I could go on.”
“I’m going to be with Hunter! We’re high school sweethearts. You can never take that away from us.”
“High school was years ago. That time is over. You abandoned Hunter when he needed your support the most. You shouldn’t even be here. You’re using the Corbins for their wealth, and that’s all there is to it.”
“I’d hate to see what she thinks about us when she realizes we’re not rich by any definition of the word,” my oldest brother murmured.
Chance chuckled darkly behind me, still on the stairs, and I finally snapped to my senses, frozen on the last step. Hadley and Eileen were out on the porch, having it out with each other.
“I gotta say, Hunter, I’m a little jealous.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Avery seated in the front room, utterly relaxed in spite of the squalling going on just outside the front door.
“Why’s that?”
“I’ve never had two women fight over me before,” he said, grinning. “Well done.” He might as well have been munching on a bowl of popcorn.
“I don’t feel like this is anything to celebrate,” I muttered. “I don’t even want to go out there.” That was the truth. I didn’t want to go out there, even if I was the main subject under discussion. I didn’t know what I would do if I laid eyes on Eileen again, after everything she’d done to me—the lies and manipulation and utter betrayal. And the sting from the wound Hadley had dealt me was still fresh. Why were they both here? Was it to cause me the maximum misery possible? What was happening?
Emmett came stomping down the hall, holding a broom like a battle-ax.
“Where the hell are you going with that?” Chance demanded.
“To separate them so we can all get some sleep,” Emmett proposed, his long hair loose and wild.
“With a broom?” Avery asked, laughing. “They’re not raccoons, idiot. They’re Hunter’s former lovers. You can’t just sweep them off the porch.”
“Why is this happening to me?” I groaned, pressing my face into my hands.
“You’d better go out there,” Chance said.
“I know.”
“Oh, goodie,” Avery said. “Here come the real fireworks.”
Even though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, I pulled the front door open, pushed the screen door outward, and stepped out into the brewing melee. For a long moment, neither Hadley nor Eileen realized I was out there with them, and I was able to take stock of the situation. Tucker watched, leaning up against one of the porch posts, with the cool gaze of someone who was ready to step in, if necessary, the police academy training so ingrained in him even living on the ranch couldn’t shake it out of him. Zoe was out there, too, standing a fair bit away in the grass in the dark yard. She had a bandana in her hair I recognized as one of Chance’s. She’d probably rested her fair piece and gotten up to start assessing the damage of five brothers living in one house when interrupted by this mess of which I was somehow in the middle. What could Zoe think about all this? Had she jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire with the Corbins?
Hadley looked disheveled and tired, and I realized her car was parked behind my truck. That made me start doing the math, calculating drive times and trying to assess if it was before midnight or after. She would have had to have left her parents’ house not long after I did—several hours, at most. What had compelled her to come back out here?
Whatever the reason, Eileen was back, too. She was in full hair and makeup, her nails freshly painted to match her miniskirt, her heels comically tall. I wondered if she’d enjoyed aerating the lawn in what had to have been a wobble from her car to the porch. Who had arrived first, and why?
Hadley caught sight of me first, and her eyes lit up in recognition even as her shoulders slumped a little. How could she look so defiant and defeated at the same time? She was beautiful even without trying, without the makeup and the elaborate clothes Eileen had pulled on herself like war paint.
“Hey, Hunter,” Hadley said quietly. “Sorry to make a dramatic entrance like this, but I needed to talk to you. In person.”
“Oh my God, Hunter, I’m so glad you’re here,” Eileen gushed, turning toward me and holding her arms out like she was about to hug me.
“Stop right there,” I said, holding my hand up. “Eileen, you are not welcome here.”
“Why not?” she gasped. “Hunter, we’re in love.”
“No. No, we’re not. You might think you’re in love with me, but there is no love in my heart for you.”
“Think about it,” Eileen urged. “We’re meant to be together, Hunt. I made a mistake. I should never have left you in that hospital. Can’t you forgive me? Can’t you find a little bit of love inside yourself for me?”
“The only love I have associated with you is that I would love it if you left—right now.”
That statement actually struck Eileen speechless.
“You don’t mean that,” she said. “I know you don’t. I know you have to still love me. What about … what about that night of passion we shared?”
“I don’t know if you’re trying to be offensive or if you’re just delusional.” I scowled at her. “Eileen, you drugged me. I could have you arrested.”
She shook her head swiftly. “No, I just wanted to talk to you, to remind you of what we had. I knew that if you had a chance to be with me again, you’d remember how good we were together.”
“You are out of your mind.”
“I’m in love with you.”
“If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have run away from me in the hospital. You would’ve stood by me when I couldn’t stand on my own. That’s something I can’t forgive, you turning your back on me like that. And I’ll never forget what you did to me with the pills. That’s something they lock people up for, Eileen.”
“Please, Hunt, I’m sorry. I
just…I wanted things to be back the way they were again between us.”
“If you don’t leave right now, I will file a police report.” I studied Eileen dispassionately, as she gradually realized she wasn’t going to get what she wanted. Her face darkened.
“Well, you would be lucky to have someone like me,” she said. “Especially since you’re half a man now.”
I opened my mouth to laugh her off—I’d called myself that, and to hear it flung out of someone else’s mouth in an insult was ridiculous—but Hadley wheeled back and slapped Eileen on the cheek as hard as she could.
Everyone looked surprised, but none more so than Hadley, who stared down at her hand as if it had suddenly sprouted its own brain, doing whatever it wanted to do even if it was contrary to Hadley’s motivations.
Eileen breathed hard, holding her face with her hands. “What, you think you’re going to be with Hunter? You deserve each other. You’re both pathetic.”
Eileen stormed away and got into her car, spraying dust and gravel around before motoring away. Thank God. I was so relieved to see her go that I didn’t know what to say. But just because she’d left didn’t mean that all my problems were solved. There was still another woman here who’d caused me pain, another set of problems I had to deal with no matter how much I just wanted to go back to sleep.
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked, giving Hadley my full attention. “Whatever it is, I assure you that you could’ve just called.”
Her eyes darted around, looking at everyone assembled. “I really thought it would be better in person. That I owed you that much. I didn’t know…I didn’t mean…that shit with Eileen was really ugly, and I apologize. I had no way of knowing I’d find her on your front porch when I got here, but I just lost my mind.”
There were some titters, and I remembered just what a large audience we had. I was a man who preferred his privacy, but I was glad, in this moment, to have my family around me, supporting me as I had no idea what to do with the woman in front of me. She was alone in the crowd, and she knew it, and I couldn’t help but admire her for her courage. She’d called my brothers family once, but they were closing ranks around me, aware that she’d jilted me.
“Do you think we could go somewhere private to talk?” she asked me, clasping her hands tightly in front of her. She was nervous, and I took pity on her. As much as she’d hurt me, I still couldn’t stand hurting her. Revenge was a pointless endeavor.
“Think we can have a few moments?” I asked pointedly, at no one, and everyone murmured their assent, retreating back into the house. I lowered myself to sit on the steps to the porch, half expecting Hadley to cozy up next to me, as we’d done several times to look at the stars, but she stayed rooted in place.
“I’m really, really sorry for fighting with Eileen,” she said.
“Why?” I asked. “You can fight with whoever you want. You don’t need my permission, and you won’t offend me.”
“That’s not what I came here to do.”
“What did you come here to do? Tell me again how you don’t want to be in love with me?”
Hadley cleared her throat. “Yes. And to explain why. Because I owe you that.”
“You really didn’t have to drive all this way to have this tired old conversation again.” I was still tired from my marathon driving, which somehow felt like it had taken place eons ago. It had only been last night when Hadley and I had been in the woods together, on her parents’ property, having it out with each other. Did we really have to do an encore?
“I did, because there’s a lot more to it than you think,” she said.
“Hadley, I told you. I get it. You don’t want to be in love with me because you don’t want to keep rehabbing me for the rest of our lives. You don’t want to test the ethics of being with a client. It’ll hurt your reputation. And you deserve someone who can take care of you better than I can. I’ll always be missing a leg. There are men out there—you’ll find them—who are better for you than I am.”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” she blurted out. “Because that isn’t it at all. None of that is the reason I don’t want to be with you.”
If she thought she was going to dance around this, to apply lots of shiny layers of gloss or whatever to this shit show, Hadley had another thing coming. I wasn’t about to let her off that easy.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me right now that my missing leg didn’t factor into your decision not to want to love me,” I said. Her gaze flickered, and I laughed harshly. “I knew it. You’re wasting your time, Hadley, if you think I need more explanation than that. I’d regrow it back for you, you know. I’d do it for myself, but you make me wish it was really possible.”
“Let me talk, and don’t you dare interrupt me,” she said, those green eyes blazing even in the night. She was the type of beautiful that told me just how angry she was—cheeks flushed, chest heaving, practically quivering with the power of her fury. “You’re going to hear this whether you want to or not—whether I want you to or not—so you can understand and stop fucking pitying yourself.”
Now I was angry, angry enough to want to push myself up and pace, or escort her forcibly off the ranch. I didn’t want Hadley here no matter what my heart still felt for her. She was just too much of a painful presence.
“If I let you speak your piece, will you leave?” I asked finally. She faltered for a moment, then nodded. “Good. Say whatever you want.”
But now that I’d given her the go ahead, Hadley hesitated. What in the hell was so important to tell me that she’d driven all those miles, stewing? Why did she try to keep it bottled inside even now, even after she was standing in front of me, ready to deliver whatever message she was set on delivering?
“I…you’re a good person, Hunter. Better than the person I thought you were when I first met you.”
“When you first met me, I was drunk and doped up.”
“Yes, you were. Now shut the fuck up and let me talk.” She was agitated, and I had told her I wouldn’t interrupt. I snapped my trap shut and watched her run her hands over her hair, tugging the messy bun she’d driven here in and letting her hair loose, the night wind fluttering it lightly as it settled over her shoulders and down her back. She was so goddamn beautiful that I ached for her involuntarily, like a reflex I couldn’t just shut down without damaging something essential.
“I fell for you hard, Hunter, and helplessly,” Hadley said finally, the words tumbling out of her mouth. “No, that wasn’t what I wanted to start with. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, what I’m trying to say, why I’m trying to tie a bow around it. I need you to know that I love you, but that I can’t.”
“You’ve made that point clear,” I said because I couldn’t help it. She was struggling with such a basic fact that it almost made me angry. “I get it.”
If she noticed my interjection, she didn’t say anything about it.
“The reason I didn’t finish medical school, the reason I had to stop and could only pick back up with physical therapy was because there was another…before you.” Hadley laughed, apropos of nothing. If there was something funny about that statement, I couldn’t decipher it. “That sounded ridiculous. Of course there were others before you. I’m no virgin, and I wasn’t when we met, either.”
Hadley paced around, kicking at the dirt clods. “You all need rain,” she said.
“Is there anything I can do or say to make this easier on you?” I asked, peering at her. “I hate to see someone struggle, Hadley.” Even if that someone just kept hurting me.
“Just…be patient with me, if you can find it in yourself,” she said. “I’m trying, Hunter, I swear to God. I had like ten different versions of what I was going to say to you, and I was rehearsing them in the car on the ride over here, and none of them were right. It’s pathetic. I can’t string together a coherent thought. It’s ugly.”
“There isn’t anything pretty about whatever you’re trying to tell me,”
I said. “Don’t try to make it pretty. Just say what you came here to say.” I didn’t care that, once she’d said it, she’d leave me forever, vanishing from my life—the life she’d returned to me, ignoring my attempts to be rid of it.
“I was in love with someone before,” she said, nodding to herself as she came to some inward decision. “Before I knew you, I was in love with him. Engaged to be married. It was a guy I met through some friends in college; he was going to West Point. He was…well, we were in love. I started medical school, and he shipped out to Iraq and he…he didn’t come back.”
She was quiet for a long time. It gave me time to see some of the missing puzzle pieces falling into place—her vehemence at me, when we first met, at me bemoaning the fact that I’d left part of me behind during my tour of duty. She’d snapped that I was luckier than most, that I was spoiled, and I had been. I owned that, even if I was confused about why she had been so angry.
“He was killed by someone he trusted, someone everyone trusted,” she said, her voice far away, all the way back with the dead man she had loved. “Part of the forces he was helping to train…there was an infiltration, or maybe someone just snapped. It was during a training exercise, when they all had their guns, and he died. One of three to die like that—the attacker included.”
Her parents had known. Of course they’d known. If they had been engaged, her parents would’ve known. More pieces falling into place. They cared about her, worried about her, and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy along with pretty and successful, but that happiness had been elusive. Hadley’s quest for happiness had been tragic.
“When he died…it broke me,” she continued. “It broke my heart, I guess, but it also broke my basic ability to function. I…stopped. I just stopped. I dropped out of school. I couldn’t do it anymore; I couldn’t face anyone. I didn’t even tell anyone what happened. I just left. I went home, and my parents had to figure it out for themselves.”
