by Lexie Ray
“That’s like telling me not to breathe.”
“You don’t think they’ll like the idea of us married?”
“I don’t know what they’ll think.”
“Want to know something?”
“Hm?”
“I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about you and me. We’re married and that’s that.”
I felt her smile against my chest. “That’s that.”
“Go to sleep. We’ll need to be well rested.”
“Have it your way.” Zoe was asleep in under a minute, exhausted from all the emotions we’d gone through today, but I was plagued with insomnia. It wasn’t that I was worried about how my brothers and the rest of everyone would react. I really didn’t care about that. I was just concerned about making the right decisions, doing the right things, treating Zoe and Toby the way they deserved to be treated.
I just wasn’t sure if I was really the right person to be doing all of this.
I wasn’t sure of anything at all, not even the woman who trusted me enough to fall asleep right beside me.
Chapter 5
“You’re what?”
I wasn’t sure who had spoken out of everyone assembled, but it didn’t seem to matter. What I was sure about was that those words were the ones everyone wanted to utter.
Zoe and I glanced at each other and I cleared my throat awkwardly. One of us was going to have to clarify the situation, and I wasn’t about to throw her under the bus because I was too shy.
“I said, we are now legally married,” I repeated, brandishing the marriage license for good measure.
Everyone sort of just stared at us until Tucker broke the silence.
“Uh … were you illegally married prior to this?” he asked, squinting in an effort to understand.
“I mean, no. That’s not what I meant.” I was struggling hard with this and loathed myself for it. “I’m trying to say that we’re married, now. Just married, in fact. Very recently.”
“Well, we obviously missed something,” Amelia said, slipping her hand into Tucker’s.
“Yeah, like an invitation,” Paisley said, arching her eyebrows. “We put on pretty good weddings, you know.”
“Sure do,” Amelia confirmed, nodding. The ceremony that we had here for her and Tucker was pretty amazing, but this was a rushed job, a last line of defense hastily thrown up. This wasn’t a dream marriage with a budget-busting ceremony and reception. This was a quiet act of desperation, and the realization of it, letting my family know and having it really hit home, was suddenly depressing.
“It was a last-minute thing,” Zoe offered, clasping her hands in front of her body.
“Yes,” I threw in, “very last minute. Kind of an emergency, in fact.”
“You don’t look like you’re about to pop out a baby,” Hadley remarked, eyeing Zoe critically.
“What?” Zoe stuttered a little bit, stumbling over that observation. “Of course I’m not having a goddamn baby. Where the fuck would you get that idea?”
“That’s the only emergency I could really think of,” Hadley said with a shrug as Hunter shook his head at her. “What? And it’s not even like shotgun weddings are a thing anymore, are they?”
“They’re a thing,” Paisley said, giving Avery a peck on the cheek. “Except shotguns don’t have to necessarily be babies anymore, do they? They can be foreclosures and Bud Billings and ranches.”
I scowled automatically at the name of Bud Billings. Too much history there.
“But are you in love?”
Everyone’s necks swiveled around to stare at Peyton, who’d spoken up unexpectedly. She flinched a little at the sudden attention, then stared at us resolutely. Out of everyone in this room, it was perhaps most surprising that she’d asked that question, given her history. Peyton could never afford to fall in love with anyone until she’d met Emmett. It was pretty poignant that she was concerned about that point.
I opened my mouth to answer, not sure of what was going to come out, but Zoe surprised me by speaking up.
“I think that love is pretty low on the totem pole of marriage,” she said, staring at the ground. “Other things are important, like if you work well together, if there’s security in the relationship, if it’s important to your family. It’s actually pretty damn stupid to get married for love and love alone. Love might sustain you at first, but if you don’t have those other things already in place, you can kiss your marriage goodbye.”
I blinked at Zoe’s non-romantic description of marriage and wondered where ours fell on that scale. Did we work well together? That remained to be seen. We were certainly attracted to each other, but if it wasn’t for Forrest Holland’s threat to Zoe and Toby, I couldn’t see us actually getting married. Was it terrible to get married solely on the basis of an asshole ex?
“Well, I supposed congratulations are in order, at least,” Amelia said, giving both of us a hug. “Can we at least have a party or a nice dinner or something after the fact?”
“All of your dinners are nice, Amelia,” Hunter said, laughing. “Zoe’s, too. We don’t need a special occasion to eat well.”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Tucker asked, standing abruptly. “In private?”
“Sure,” I said easily, even though my stomach lurched. He could smell bullshit a mile away.
“Why did you two really get married?” he asked as soon as we were outside and away from everyone else.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said, sarcastic.
“There has to be a reason,” Tucker said. “I mean, everyone knows you had a thing for her, but we weren’t so sure about her.”
“Jesus, man.”
“I’m just being honest, here, and trying to puzzle things out.”
“I don’t think it would be right for me to talk to you about this without her knowing,” I said. “This is something personal, Tuck. Sorry.”
“Is anyone in danger? That’s all I want to know.”
I frowned as I thought that one out. “Not at presently, no. But our marriage hopefully will unravel a tangled situation for Zoe. I thought I’d try and do her a favor.”
Tucker’s frown deepened, but he didn’t push the matter. “Fair enough. But let someone know if something bad might happen, okay? We’re stronger together, this family. All it takes is a little communication.”
“I hear you.”
Things were surprisingly normal for a week or so before all hell officially broke loose.
I was down at the barn, and I was sure I’d never know, for the life of me, what made me want to go back up to the house, but I did. What I saw when I was halfway up the path made me sprint for it — Zoe and Forrest were in a screaming match.
“Just let me see him!” he fumed, pacing back and forth. “He’s my son!”
“He’s not your son, not anymore,” Zoe said. “I’m married, officially, and he’s adopted, officially, so your arguments won’t hold up anymore.”
“Step away from her,” I said, ripping him back. “Who told you that you could come back on this property? Leave now.”
“I’ll go when I’ve seen my son,” Forrest said, his eyes blazing, refusing to leave Zoe. “Nothing can ever change the fact that I made that boy.”
“That’s the only way you’ve contributed to his life,” I said. “Anybody can make a person. It takes a real man, though, to be a father, and from what I understand, you’re not one.”
“Do you think this means anything to me?” Forrest glowered dangerously at the two of us. “Do you think some piece of paper from some idiot is going to affect me at all?”
“It’ll affect you if they lock you up in jail, yes,” I informed him as Zoe shook at my side. I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer, looking to comfort her, but it was as if she didn’t even feel my touch. She was too focused on the man who had caused her all that pain in the past, the one who had resurfaced to try and take her child from her. I wished that I could end all of this
by swiftly kicking this jerk’s ass — I was about a head taller than he was, and had grown up fighting my brothers instead of battering terrified women. But that wasn’t what Zoe needed. She didn’t need yet another meathead in her life solving problems — either real or imagined — with his fists. I needed to be better for her.
“There’s not going to be jail for me,” Forrest said. “I can take the boy any time I like and just slip away.”
“Bullshit,” I snorted.
“Look how scared she is,” he crowed, lifting his chin toward Zoe. “She knows I’m not lying. You think there’s a cop alive who knows how to navigate the swamps in east Texas better than I do? Hell, no. I grew up there.”
“Then what the hell are you doing all the way out here?” I asked as patiently as I could manage. “Go home. You’re not wanted here. Your child doesn’t want you, and Zoe and I certainly would be better people for it if we never laid eyes on you again.”
“I’ll have what’s mine,” Forrest said, those beady eyes roving over Zoe, and if I wasn’t sure before, I was now — he wasn’t talking entirely about Toby.
“I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again — but this is the last time.” I dipped my head forward, forcing Forrest to make eye contact with me as I put myself between him and Zoe. “Zoe and I are married, now. I am adopting Toby. I am in a hell of a lot more stable position than you are. No person in their right mind would let you take custody of Toby. You’re an unfit father.”
“I don’t need anyone to let me do anything,” he said, spitting on the ground, a little too close to my boots. “That’s what you don’t understand, Corbin. You think laws and papers and shiny policeman badges mean something, but they don’t mean shit. What are you really willing to do to stop me?”
Somewhere in the back of my mind I understood what he was doing. I grasped the fact that he man standing in front of me was much smarter than he looked and acted. But at the same time, in spite of my best intentions, a red veil of rage lowered in front of my eyes, tinting everything I saw. I let go of Zoe and stepped forward again, using my height to my advantage, bending down so Forrest was forced to look up at me.
“I will do whatever I have to do,” I told him softly, glad, not for the first time, of the height my parents had given me, of my relative physical fitness, of the fact that I was so goddamn angry. Forrest Holland was provoking me, and — God help me — I welcomed it. I could practically feel the pain in my knuckles from smashing them into his nose, the wetness of his blood on my hands. I wanted nothing more than the breath of an excuse to do it, but I exhaled and stepped back.
“You’re a coward,” he said, then threw his head back and laughed.
“And you’re a jackass,” I said. “Now get the hell off my property before I give the cops ammunition to start building their case about you.”
“I’m telling you — that kind of thing doesn’t matter to me.” He kept laughing like this was the funniest thing that had happened to him in a long while. “How many times do you think Zoe’s gotten a restraining order on me? You want to tell him, sugar pie? I’ve lost count, but she probably remembers. Things get worse when we involve the law, don’t they, baby?”
“Things will get worse,” I said, drawing his attention back on me. I didn’t like when he spoke directly to Zoe. It made me feel like I was ready to do something crazy. “I don’t imagine you’d have a very fun time in jail. You’re not that big, even if you’re a little mean. I’m sure there are some inmates who like the thrill of someone with a little fight in them.”
The corners of Forrest’s mouth pulled downward. He didn’t like what I was insinuating.
“If you think I’d let them just take me to jail, you’ve got another thing coming,” he said. “I’ll take what’s mine, and you’ll never hear from any of us again.”
I reached into my pocket and brought out my cellphone. “If you say so. I’d love to see you try to wriggle your slimy way out of the back of a police cruiser when I’ve explained to the officer that you didn’t vacate the property once I’d asked you to. This is Texas, you know. Whether you respect restraining orders or adoption papers or custody rulings or marriage licenses, you have to appreciate the fact that I’m well within my rights to shoot you where you stand while defending my property.”
Forrest narrowed his eyes. “You don’t have a gun on you.”
“I know where I could get one pretty fast,” I said. “You want to test me? Test that? See if you can outrun me, maybe, but I doubt you could outrun a bullet.”
He darted a quick glance around me and smirked. “You know, I think I’ll just be on my way. You’re very scary, Corbin. Downright spooky. You’ve gone and frightened me half to death. But you’ll be hearing from me again real soon.”
“If I do, it had better not be here,” I told him, watching as he turned and sauntered away. “I’m not fucking around. Everyone is armed here. All it takes is a word from me and your little games will be officially over.”
I watched him get in his battered truck and continued to watch until the clouds of dust from his spinning tires settled, signaling that he was off the property and back onto the highway.
Then I turned, intent on reassuring Zoe that everything was going to be just fine, only she wasn’t there.
I looked up just in time to see the front door to the house close. Part of me was glad that she’d decided to leave. She didn’t need to see Forrest. He only made her upset. But the other part of me wondered just what had driven her inside. Was it something I had said or done? The threat of violence? The way he simply hadn’t cared at all what I said?
I followed her. I had to know. I had to understand what she was feeling about this situation.
What I didn’t expect was to see her packing a suitcase, ripping her clothes from hangers and dumping the entire contents of drawers into the bag.
“Zoe? What in the hell is going on?” I was dumbfounded, seeing her uproot herself like this. She’d only just moved in to the master bedroom with me. That process had been loving, if a little tentative. We were two people getting used to the idea of being around each other. Or at least we had been.
“You heard him,” she said. “He’s never going to stop. We’re never going to be safe.”
“Stop.” I tried to seize her hands, to arrest her frantic movement, but she eluded me. “Zoe, you’re safe. You and Toby are both safe here.”
“No. We’re not. Forrest means what he says. I know him better than you.”
That statement stung me even if she didn’t mean it to. I realized that she meant that she knew Forrest better than I knew him, but the reality of the situation was that she did know Forrest better than she knew me. She’d known him longer, had dealings with him for much more time than she had spent on the ranch. It was ludicrous for me to think I could erase that much history in so little time.
“The safest place for you right now is here at my side, here on the ranch,” I tried again, but she only quickened her pace, rushing into the bathroom and jamming an armful of toiletries into the overstuffed suitcase. It didn’t have a hope of closing. The belongings she’d picked lay heaped in the open frame.
“No. He knows where we both are, Toby and me.” Zoe paused just long enough to assess the suitcase, flinging a few things out of it and onto the bed, before closing the front flap and successfully closing it, straining the zipper to its maximum.
“He might know where you all are, but he has me to contend with,” I said. “Zoe, look at me. Every single person on this ranch — me, my brothers, Hadley, Amelia, everyone — will fight to keep that asshole away from you and Toby. You have to believe that.”
“You just don’t understand what he’s capable of,” she said, refusing to make eye contact. “The last time he dealt with any of you Corbins — when Hunter took Toby and me away from there — he got hurt. Hunter broke his hand or something. You want to know what Forrest did the one and only time I bloodied his nose for him?”
“Wh
at?”
Zoe looked at me for the briefest of moments before looking away again, shaking her head. “No, you don’t.” Her dismissiveness hurt me. She assumed that I didn’t want to know, that I couldn’t handle her truth or her history.
“I want to understand,” I said, following her like a pathetic little puppy dog around the room as she surveyed the drawers she hadn’t opened yet. When she first arrived at the ranch, she hadn’t had anything except her son and the clothes on both of their backs. But now she had enough items to overfill a suitcase. She had settled in with gusto, using the paycheck she earned as a means to get herself secure again.
But now, nothing was secure.
“What you need to understand is that Forrest will stop at nothing,” Zoe said. “And I can’t be responsible for that anymore. I refuse to be.”
“You have to know that you’re not responsible for whatever he does,” I told her, but she gave no indication of having heard me. “Zoe, stop. The only person who can control that son of a bitch’s actions is him. Or me, if he makes me beat his ass.”
“Don’t you see?” she demanded hotly. “Do you think I want to fucking be with someone who resorts to violence at the slightest provocation? Do you think it makes me feel safe for myself and my son that you just threatened my abusive ex with a gun?”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. She was right. I shouldn’t have stooped to Forrest’s level. I was better than that, and I had more resources and intelligence than that. If there had been a winner of that little confrontation, it was Forrest. And he had known exactly what he was doing.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out, and Zoe pressed her hands into her eyes.
“No, I’m sorry,” she said, sitting heavily on the bed. “I’m sorry for all of this.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“I do. I brought this into your life. Forrest … does things to people. He’s not a good person. And something about him makes people around him into not good people. Like if he was a pile of shit, and you stood too close to him for too long. You start to smell just like him.”
