I know today he won’t be there. There won’t be any life-changing moments this night. Finally it’s my turn, and I pull my car up, popping the gas cap from inside and then climbing out to start the process. I’m not even aware of my surroundings until I’ve already inserted the nozzle and started filling it up. A female voice from one stall over catches my attention.
“Sass Straight, you look like shit.”
I’d know that voice anywhere, and today is not the day for it to make fun of me. I finish pumping my gas and hang the nozzle back up, turning off the pump. As my back is to her, I gather my courage and I square my shoulders. I’m going to say a few things to Lacey.
“You look like a whore, but I keep that to myself every time I see you.” I walk over.
There is no way this woman is going to see how distraught I am because Reed and I can’t get our shit together. Her eyes narrow at me, and she takes in a breath.
“You don’t know me.”
I’m over to her now, and our similar height means I don’t have to look up or down; I can look straight into her eyes. “Oh, I do. I know your type. You play the damsel in distress whenever you need someone to fix something for you. You string along men and let them pay your way, and then when you’re bored with one, you move on to the next.”
“At least I don’t like sloppy seconds.” She gives me a grin that I guess is supposed to be triumphant.
“I’ve loved Reed since I was a kid, and I would take him any way I can get him. That’s not sloppy seconds—that’s a lifetime commitment you’ll never be able to make.” I stare at her until a guy catches my attention, and I realize Taylor is with her. Perfect.
“You want to talk about sloppy seconds? Taylor has been hitting on me since I was thirteen-years old. He always wanted me, but I guess you’re second best, and if that’s all he can get, that’s what he’ll take.”
Fuck, that felt good. With a smile on my face for the first time in weeks, I walk back over to my car. Turning back towards them, I flash Taylor a smile. “I hope you enjoyed the blowjob you watched, ’cause that’s all you’ll ever get of me.” This has changed absolutely nothing for Reed and me, but I hope it lets me move on. With or without him.
Reed
“I don’t want to run her off,” I tell Justin as I help my guys lay drywall. He’s come today to listen to me bitch and to help me work. In moments like this, I realize exactly what a friend I have in him. “I feel like she thinks everything I say is a line, and I don’t know how to make her believe I’m being honest. I tried honesty, and it blew up in my face. It’s not like I don’t realize how we started off this relationship, but at some point for both of us, it became real, but she refuses to acknowledge it. I’ve never met a more infuriating woman in my life.”
“I don’t know.” Justin grabs the other side of the drywall, helping me hold it. “Maybe you should show her with actions, not words. Sass has never been good at listening, even when she was a kid. She was more of an action learner. Maybe she hears what you’re saying, but it doesn’t mean anything to her because you haven’t proven it to her,” he says. “I may be completely off base because I’m her older brother and not someone who wants to look at her the way you do, but that’s one thing I do know about her. Maybe it could help you.”
I roll the idea around in my head. She is a woman of action; she never lets anyone do something for her that she can do for herself. Could that work? What would it hurt if it didn’t? It can’t be any worse than where we are now. Finally I come to a decision. “You know what? You might be right.”
“She’s off tomorrow,” Justin offers “And I won’t be interfering again. I’ve said my piece to you both.”
I can work with that. I just hope she’s open to it. And if she’s not? Well, tough shit, she’s still going to hear me out.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Sass
This is it. This is the last day I wallow in my misery. When these twenty-four hours are over, I’ll make a damn decision about what I want to do, how I want to live life from now on, and I’ll damn well stick with it.
For these twenty-four hours, I’m watching some stupid talk show on TV and eating my weight in these chocolate chip cookies I’ve made. When my doorbell rings, I jump and then curse. Shit. The only person who knows I’m off today is Justin, and I begged him to leave me alone, not to check on me, and to let me get over it. He is who he is though, and I know he always has to make sure I’m okay.
I don’t even look through the peephole before opening the door. “Justin, I’m fine.”
“That’s great, but I’m not Justin.”
The voice that greets me is one I’ve wanted to hear in person for weeks. There have been times I wanted to drive by his house and peek in, just to see his face. When I look up, I’m floored by how he takes my breath away. It’s like I forgot how he looked. He’s never been more of a welcome sight to me.
Reed stands in front of me, holding a basket. I stare at him, my mouth open for the longest time. Finally, he asks with an amused grin on his face. “Can I come in?”
I step aside, letting him enter my apartment. I look behind him to make sure there are no cameras following, to make sure I’m not getting pranked. When I close the door, I turn to him. “What are you doing here?”
“This is what it’s going to take, right? I have to prove to you I’m in this for the long haul? That I’m not playing around? I decided you need to know some truths without anyone eavesdropping on our conversation. I need you to know things when you know no one is watching. Know this, I’m not doing this for anyone’s benefit but my own.”
My mouth is dry as I watch him. I’m scared of what he has planned, but it’s obvious he’s gone to some trouble here. “Fine.” I have a seat on the couch, trying to act like I don’t care.
“This is how well I know you.” He grabs the basket and puts it on my coffee table. I’m intrigued as he starts taking things out of it.
“A can of Coke, because you love the cans more than the two-liters or the glass bottles. It’s your little treat you give yourself every day.” He sets the can of Coke down and grabs a bottle of water. “Smart Water, because you’re a water snob and this is the only thing you’ll drink out of a bottle or tap. Mounds bars, because you love anything chocolate and coconut. Dirty Dancing, because it’s one of your favorite movies. Brantley Gilbert’s CD, because you dragged Justin and me to that free concert down on the riverfront. An Alabama Hoodie, because you love football.”
I have tears in my eyes as I listen to him name off all my favorite things, laying them out as he empties the basket. I had no idea he knew this much about me, or he even cared this much. It touches me in a way I can’t understand, I can’t articulate. Finally, he gets to the last thing in the box, and he stops for a minute, taking a deep breath. He holds out a key to me. My eyes are locked on the object he holds as he extends it with a shaking hand.
“A key to my house. I want you to be able to be with me any time you want to be. I want you to be comfortable with me.” He takes a shaky breath. “And I love you enough to give this a try again.”
A cry escapes my throat as I throw myself at him, tears streaming down my face. He’s laid himself bare before me in a way I never thought he would. This is more than I ever expected from him, more than I could have dreamed of. I grab the key, sniffing, realizing what this means, realizing this is everything I’ve ever wanted.
“I love you too.”
“Then please, don’t make me wait anymore,” he pleads. “Let’s stop hurting each other, stop being miserable, and get on with our lives.”
I throw myself at him, melting in his arms. His mouth catches mine, and he kisses me with a passion I’ve never let myself experience with anyone but him. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in this place. His arms are the only place I want to be—ever again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Sass
I giggle as I sit at the table with Reed and our friends at Hank’s. Mor
gan and I are looking over a wedding magazine—she and Justin have finally set a date, and now she desperately wants to have everything done yesterday. The drinks we’ve had are making the job hilarious.
“This will be your perfect maid-of-honor dress.” She points to a horrendous orange number.
“Orange is definitely not my color. If that’s what you want me to wear, I’m gonna move Reed out of the best man position and wear a tux.”
Hearing his name, Reed slings his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. His mouth on my ear, he talks loudly so I can hear him over the music and the crowd. “I’m sure you’d make a tux look like a million bucks.”
I blush and lean my body into his. This is the kind of mush he’s turned me into over the past few months. There is no way I can truly express my sorrow for it, but the old me sometimes scolds the new me for being putty in his hands. Then, I look at Justin and Morgan. They’re paired off too, and he’s actively looking through the magazine, showing her what he thinks would look good on her. I have to remind myself this is our new lives. Things are easier and simpler now.
“I bet you say that to all the women,” I tease.
He cups my jaw with his hand and brings my face down to his for a kiss. “Only the ones I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
My breath stops for almost a full beat. This isn’t the first time he’s said something like that to me, and I wonder when he’s going to make it official, because I’m ready. Like fifteen years ready, but I know by the look in his eyes he’s cautious.
That’s okay, I can be cautious too, and I can be patient.
“I’m here whenever you want to do that.” I lean into his throat and place a kiss there against the strong pulse.
“One day, Sass, and I don’t think it’s going to be very long from now, but I want to make sure it’s right. I want to make sure there’s nothing hanging over us, and nobody in the background who’s gonna try to sabotage us. I want to make sure it’s perfect for us.”
I nod, because I understand. I know where he’s coming from; nobody wants to mess up an engagement twice. I offer him a saucy smile. “I’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re ready. In the meantime, let’s give these lovebirds some space and hit the dance floor. I want everyone here to know what kind of moves my man has.”
I know he likes when I call him mine. The words do exactly what I want them to do. He stands, grabs my hand, puffs out his chest, and pulls me to the dance floor.
Reed
I twirl Sass around the dance floor, holding her close as a slower song comes on the jukebox. In the past six months we’ve figured things out; things still aren’t perfect, but we’re making it work. We make compromises for each other. I’m not the one expected to drop everything and come home to her, and she’s not expected to do the same with me. As two small business owners, it’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
“Thanks for coming out tonight.” Her nails dig into my long-sleeve shirt. “It’s been a while since we’ve had time.”
I tilt her head back, looking into her eyes as I tower over her. “You know I’ll always make time for you, baby.”
And I do, it’s my number-one priority. The two of us stay busy, helping each of the businesses we’re involved in, but our relationship takes a front seat. It’s nice to have someone who understands when I have to make the hard decisions for the bottom line of the business. She gets it when I’m stuck at work because two of my crew have sick kids and there’s a deadline on a project. There’s no judgment, and to me that’s the best part of all. I’m free to do what I need to do, as long as we make time for each other.
Making time is easier now. Just two weeks ago she moved into my house permanently, and I danced a little jig that day. What was once my and Lacey’s house, is now my and Sass’ home. She’s made it that way with little touches that are hers, with the way she welcomes my friends. Every Saturday, we have dinner for everybody. She plans it, and I love to see her walk around the kitchen like she owns it. She’s given herself permission to be my partner in life, and I’ve never been happier. Most days I can’t even wipe the smile off my face.
She’s a fixture in my life for however long I’m blessed to be here, and I can’t wait to make it happen, but I know it’s something I’ll never rush again. When it happens this time, it’ll be right, and there won’t be a long engagement. I don’t want this woman to get away from me. She makes my life whole and makes no apologies for it. This is the type of love you don’t ever give up. I’ve learned the lesson loud and clear.
“You almost ready to get out of here?” I ask her, letting my hand slide slightly up the back of her sweater. It’s a soft touch, and one I give without reservation now.
I’m still unable to get enough of her. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. She leans into me, rubbing up against my chest. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
Turning her towards the table we’re sitting at with our friends, I let her go and encourage her to walk. “Then let’s move this someplace more private.”
She shoots me a glance and a smile. It’s her naughty smile, and my jeans tighten as I realize I’m probably about to get lucky in the parking lot. Which we all know wouldn’t be the first time.
We get to our table, make our excuses, and say goodbye to our friends. As we pass the other tables to get to the door, we pass Lacey and Taylor. The need to thank both of them has been growing over the past few months, but I can’t seem to make myself do it. Thanking them doesn’t necessarily seem like a douche move, but it’s been quiet with them, and I don’t want to cause trouble where there isn’t any right now. If they knew what they’d done in the end, they would be so pissed at themselves. Instead of ruining my life, they made it better. Because if it hadn’t been for his dick in her mouth, I would have never gotten a little Sass in mine.
The End
If you liked Sass…you’ll love Sketch!
Blurb
My name is Devin, but everybody calls me Sketch. I opened my own tattoo shop two years ago, and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m going to be able to give my wife everything she’s ever wanted. I’m going to be able to take time off and spend a day a week with her. In fact, tonight, I stopped and grabbed some wine, got her flowers, and those chocolates she likes.
What I wasn’t prepared for was to be met at the front door by her carrying her shit out.
She loves me, but she’s not in love with me anymore. What kind of bullshit excuse is that? I’ve left her alone too often, I’ve been completely focused on one goal, and apparently she’s sick of waiting.
So here I stand. Half the man I was, pissed as fuck, because while I was busy making a better life for us, she was under the impression I was leaving her lonely. I know one day she’ll see what I’ve been doing has been for us, and when that day comes… She can damn well come crawling back to me.
Prologue
Sketch
“I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you, Devin.”
The words echo off the hardwood floor I had paid to have put in our home, they bounce off the walls Nina and I had painstakingly painted yellow. I remember the argument we got into about the trim color; an argument I won by tackling her to the, then carpeted, floor and fucking her into submission. What had happened to that couple? When had that changed?
“I don’t even know what to say.” And I didn’t. Shock and something akin to anger boil in my gut. I want to scream and punch, ask what the fuck is wrong with her, but those words won’t come. I can’t push them past my lips.
She sighs. “That’s precisely the problem, Devin; you never know what to say. You never know when you’re going to be home, you never know what your schedule is going to be. I can’t do this. When was the last time we had sex? When was the last time you told me that you love me? Devin, I’m done.”
There it is again. My real name. For the past seven years I’ve been Sketch. Through my apprenticeship and now at my own shop. Most people don’
t even know my real fuckin’ name, and here she’s used it twice in one conversation.
“You’re done?” I sound like a parrot, but I can’t help it. This shit is coming out of left field for me. I’m standing here like a chump, holding a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolates. Following her out to the driveway, I watch as she walks awkwardly, holding duffel bags in each arm.
“Yeah, Devin. Done.” She rolls her eyes and continues putting her stuff in the car. The car, I might add, I bought her with the first profit that my shop turned.
“Do you even see what I’m holding, Nina?” I ask, thrusting my hands towards her.
“It’s too late,” she tells me, finally showing some emotion.
There are tears in her eyes and I wonder why. It’s not like I’m the one leaving her. I still have no idea where any of this is coming from. “Too late? This is me telling you that I finally have the time. Babe, we’re gonna live our lives.”
“I’ve been living, Devin.” She stomps her foot. “It’s you who’s had your head up your ass at that goddamn tattoo shop.”
That’s it. My stomach drops, and I see for the first time the ungrateful bitch she’s become. I feel anger overtake me. “That goddamn tattoo shop has provided you with a good life, Nina,” I yell.
Throwing the stuff down I have in my hands, I let it smash into a million pieces and watch it roll towards the car. Just like my life, it’s a jumbled up mess of shattered hopes and a river full of broken dreams.
Coming in 2017!
Renegade
(subject to change)
Prologue
Whitney
“Ryan, I’m tellin’ you. I need my hair pulled, I need my ass smacked, I need someone paying attention to my nipples, a dick in my treasure cove. I need it all.”
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