by Damon Novak
“‘Cause we still block his side vision, plus if there’s nobody standin’ in front of him, we hang rotten meat a couple inches away from his mouth to get him walkin’. That keeps him from lookin’ behind him, too. See it there?” He pointed.
I followed his finger and I’m still not sure how I missed it. There was a bent steel rod with an apple-sized chunk of rotted beef or somethin’, run through with a large, chrome hook. The chunk of meat was stuffed into a square compartment welded to the side of the gator’s harness. I saw a cylindrical tube where the end of the rod could be inserted to dangle the meat in front of the gator’s mouth.
I shook my head in wonder and we all went inside.
They’d already begun ransackin’ the place, so not all the handguns were still in the front case. I looked to my right and saw another four cases, each containing roughly 90 guns or more.
They could have ‘em. We were there for ammo, holsters, and other accessories.
“Hey, Garland. You and Billie Jo come across any silencers?” I woulda asked for suppressors, but I didn’t want to have to explain.
Billie Jo heard me say her name and she stopped and smiled at me, doin’ somethin’ with her eyebrows that I guess was supposed to be sexy. “You like it quiet, do ya?”
Her voice was soft, but if I had to add a description to that, I’d say it was menacin’. Somethin’ in her tone said she was about one stoplight away from crazytown.
“Matter-of-fact, there’s about twelve of ‘em in that case. For all calibers.”
“We could use a few of ‘em,” I said. “If you ain’t put dibs on ‘em yet.”
The truth is, if they stood in our way one too many times, I was prepared to put a hurtin’ on both of ‘em if I got the chance. It might not be in my nature, but I can only get pushed so far before decorum gets shoved aside, too.
“We’ll split ‘em,” said Garland. “Right, Billie Jo?”
“They should have to trade us,” she said.
“Trade for what?” asked Georgie.
With a smack of her gum, Billie Jo raised that long barrel up, pointin’ it right at Georgie. She closed one eye.
I held my breath as my heart slammed in my ears.
“A ride on your boat,” she said, smackin’ her gum and lowerin’ the barrel again with a girlish laugh, tinged with evil.
“What the hell is your problem?” I yelled. “You point that fuckin’ barrel at her or me one more time, and somebody here’s gonna die.”
“I was just playin’, stupid,” she said.
I let out my breath and went to Georgie, puttin’ my arm around her. Her breath was comin’ fast, but she was calmin’ down.
“She’s fine,” said Garland. “Billie Jo wouldn’t hurt her. Anyway, so yeah. We’ll go with y’all.”
“We’re not even sure it’s our final destination,” said Georgie, her voice flat. She pulled away from me, and I saw her hand relax near her holster. “Plus, the boat’s full. Nowhere else to sleep.”
“Why ain’t y’all just drivin’ anyway?” asked Billie Jo.
I glanced over at Georgie, who wasn’t lookin’ at me, but was shakin’ her head back and forth. I read her message: short answers.
Before I could figure out somethin’ to say that wouldn’t piss Georgie off, she spoke up. “We’re just staying offshore to minimize contact with those … things. And like I said, we might not go to Kansas at all. I suppose we’re really just biding our time until the government gets control of this problem.”
“That ain’t true,” said Garland. “When we were outside, Cole here told me y’all were headin’ there for sure.”
“It’s a plan under development,” I said. “Subject to changin’ on short notice. Situation kinda demands flexibility.”
“Ain’t no government I seen,” said Billie Jo. “No planes, no helicopters. Nobody gunnin’ them zombies down from the sky.”
Garland nodded. “Damned straight. Whatcha say, Billie Jo? Wanna join up with these folks in Lebanon, Kansas? They seem nice enough.” He looked between me and Georgie, then tapped his temple with his index finger. “And don’t worry. I know how to make a fine first impression.”
I don’t think Billie Jo caught any of it. “Can Chester come?” she asked, looking directly at Georgina. “I wanna bring Chester. He’d like to see more of you with his blinders off, Miss Priss.”
Georgina’s jaw was set and I could see she was grindin’ her teeth. “You were just pointing a loaded firearm at my head less than three minutes ago,” she said, her voice icy.
My ire was increasin’ with each dig directed at Georgie, but I talked myself down each time. I also didn’t want to tell ‘em the gator they were walkin’ around was likely a female. She was a big girl, at right around 9 feet, but her body was narrower than a male that size. So was her snout. They just seemed too batshit crazy to take news of that kind very well.
“I’m afraid we’ve got a kid on the boat,” I said. “And while I trust Chester here just fine, I’m not sure about Liam. He might dance with danger if he sees her.”
“Her?” Garland and Billie Jo said in unison.
I fucked up. I didn’t wanna get into it. “Uh, him. Sorry.”
“That’s what I thought,” said Garland. “Okay, I suppose we can pick up another gator somewhere. I’ll take the harness.”
Right then, my radio crackled, and Danny’s voice sounded. He said, “How are you makin’ out, CB? Kansas ain’t gonna come to us.”
I cringed and closed my eyes, hopin’ upon hope that neither one understood him.
“Thought you said your plans were subject to change,” said Billie Jo, twirlin’ a revolver on her finger as she walked toward me.
I hoped it wasn’t loaded, because her finger was sure to be pushin’ on that trigger the way she was handlin’ it.
“They are. At the moment, our group is potentially headin’ to Kansas. Look, no offense,” I said. “But just because the world’s gone to shit doesn’t mean we’re all on the same team. Me and Georgie are lookin’ out for our own, just like you are.”
“Is it pretty there?” asked Billie Jo.
I was startin’ to wonder if she had a whole lot of the A-D-D goin’ on.
“If you prefer nothin’ but farmland for miles around and you like sippin’ iced tea instead of beer or whisky,” I said. “I spent three days there once and it felt like three weeks.”
Georgina tried backin’ me up again. She softened her voice and spoke directly to Billie Jo. I think we’d both figured out she was the puppetmaster here.
“Like Cole said, Kansas is where we intend to go, but if something presents itself along the way, we may give up on the idea and settle in somewhere else.
“Plus,” she continued, “Kansas could just be a way point. It’s right in the middle of the country, so we thought if we got there and the plans to confront the Indian fell through, we could choose another destination then.”
It seemed like a lot of words for the two it was directed at to comprehend. Especially when I knew Georgie really just wanted to scream, My daughter’s on that boat, and you’ll never even see it, much less step foot on it you crazy bitch!
“Hmm,” the strange girl said, a strange smile on her face to match. Then Billie Jo reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of Bazooka bubblegum. She unwrapped it, readin’ the cartoon on the inside of the wrapper as she popped the gum in her mouth, addin’ it to the wad she was already chewin’.
A second later, she tossed her head back and laughed so hard I thought she might have a stroke. “Y’all won’t believe this! Listen to this joke!”
“Billie Jo, we really have to be on –”
“This one guy says to the other one, ‘Joe, what in your opinion is the height of stupidity?’, and the other guy, who I guess is Joe, says, ‘I don’t know, how tall are you?’ That’s real funny, right?”
Right then, Garland started laughin’ so hard I thought his head might explode. Billie Jo joined him, and
before long, I was starin’ at Georgie’s expression.
Right then, I felt like me and Georgie were trapped in a cage full of monkeys. Two crazies, laughin’ like they were at the Redneck Comedy Stand-Up Hour, and poor Georgina Lake, M.D., starin’ at ‘em, wonderin’ how she got there. I couldn’t take it. I busted out laughin’, and when Georgie caught my eye, she let loose, too.
Now we were all bustin’ our guts, and I’m sure the others thought we were just as entertained by Bazooka Joe as they were.
An idea struck me then. It came fast, and I knew it might be our only chance. While his eyes were closed, tears runnin’ down his cheeks, I ran toward him, takin’ full advantage of my long strides.
My gun was already in my hand and raised high when he opened his eyes and said, “What the fu –”
I clobbered Garland but good, bringin’ the grip right down on the back of his head. He dropped like a sack of taters.
Georgie had stopped laughin’ just a second before Billie Jo, and when I looked up from Garland’s motionless body, Dr. Lake had her gun pointed at the girl’s head, her left hand supportin’ her wrist, and her hand steady as steel.
“Move and it’ll be the last thing you do,” she growled, in a tone I’d never heard from her before.
Billie Jo never stopped chewin’ her gum. Lookin’ between Georgie and me, she said, “Would y’all look at that. You beat me to it by half a second. I was gonna shoot your girl here,” she said, flippin’ her chin toward Georgie.
“I think you know you’re lucky you didn’t,” I said.
She sighed, overdramatically. “Oh well, Garland better be all right. And mark my words, y’all are gonna pay for this.”
Her voice was steady and soft, way more controlled than I expected, but the menace was still under the surface – and I don’t just mean in the words she spoke.
“He’ll be fine,” I said. “But y’all need to figure your shit out. If you wanna make it in this world, you’re gonna need more friends.”
“It’s a zombie apocalypse, asshole!” she screamed, and before I knew it, Georgina hauled her fist back and punched the girl in the face, knockin’ her sideways into a display table. By the time Billie Jo looked back up at her, Georgina had the gun barrel in her face.
“Jesus shit,” mumbled the girl, layin’ on her side, rubbin’ her red face with her hand.
Georgina Lake wasn’t done. “We’re here to get what we need and move on, and there’s plenty for everyone. Cole, I’ve got her covered. You find something to tie her up with, and let’s get what we came for. I want to get back and leave these two behind.”
I ran in the back room and found some boxes bound with nylon twine. Usin’ a box cutter to slice off four good lengths, I carried ‘em out front. “This’ll do it,” I said.
“Get down on your knees, slowly,” said Georgina. The girl put her hands behind her head and followed her instructions. Judgin’ from her expertise at assumin’ the proper position, I figured she’d done it a time or two for the cops.
I handed Georgina the twine, and she tied the girl’s wrists together behind her back.
I knelt beside Garland and slid his boots together. Wrappin’ the twine around ‘em three times, I tied a helluva knot. It was tight enough that it crimped his boots, so he wouldn’t be able to just slide ‘em off.
When I stood, I said, “That’ll keep him from chasin’ us if he wakes up before we’re out of the parkin’ lot.”
“What about me?” asked crazy girl. She was still on her knees and Georgie was tyin’ her bare ankles together just above her weird blue hightops. I took note that she wasn’t goin’ easy on the girl. The twine dug into her skin, it was so tight.
I was seein’ all kinds of Georgie I hadn’t before. Goddamned mama bear, for sure.
I said, “After Garland wakes up and falls down once or twice, he’ll figure out why, untie his feet, and free you,” I said. “I didn’t wanna do any of this, but y’all made it an us or you proposition.”
“You ain’t seen the last of us,” she taunted.
The second Georgie finished tyin’ her and stepped back, she tried pullin’ out of the bonds – which I fully expected her to.
“Garland!” she yelled. “Garland, wake up!
I ran over and slapped my hand over her mouth. “You wake him up, we gotta put him back to sleep, so shut your ass up and we’ll be outta here that much sooner,” I said, tryin’ to keep my voice low. “Georgie, would you grab me one of those holster belts?” Billie Jo tried to bite my hand, but I stiffened it to make sure she couldn’t. With her, it wasn’t just the zombie virus I worried about.
Georgina brought back one of the belts made to appeal to women; it was a light blue belt with a silver buckle. I had Georgie position it, then I yanked my hand away.
“Garland –” she started, but we had the belt over her mouth in a split-second, silencin’ her.
I went to Garland and took his gun from his holster. It was a Glock 22 with one in the chamber.
There were lots of guns in the store, but they weren’t loaded, and it would take a bit for him to wake up, recover, untie himself, realize his gun was gone, and get another to load.
“9mm, .45, .22 and 12-gauge ammo for now.”
We got to work while Billie Jo struggled to free herself between muffled screams. There were little plastic shoppin’ baskets, and we both grabbed one and got loadin’.
I ran out to stock the shit in the truck while Georgina stayed inside, makin’ sure everything was status quo. We did that three times. In the ten minutes it took, Garland was still Garlanded out, and the crazy bitch hadn’t made any headway with her bonds as of yet. We were done.
At the door, I said, “He’ll wake up in a few, and untie you. Next time try playin’ nice. You’ll get further.”
Muffled anger spewing out behind us, we stepped around Chester the Zombie Gator and headed for the truck.
Ω
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I spun gravel outta that parkin’ lot as I floored the Toyota and bounced onto the street. Georgina held on for all she was worth when I cranked it left on Beal again.
“Watch for that horde,” she said, her voice jigglin’ with the bouncin’ of the pickup. Apparently, our CVS employee didn’t fuckin’ realize he needed new shocks.
“Yeah, I thought about that. I hope we can skirt around ‘em.”
“Oh, shit. They’re right up there, about a quarter mile.”
“That’s them?” I asked, squintin’. After a moment, the enormous herd of dead humanity came into the proper perspective in my brain. For a moment, it had just looked confusin’, like one of those magic eye posters from a few years back. Now I could see every shiftin’ body, as well as the human debris they were leavin’ in a macabre trail behind them; rotted, severed arms, hands and always the blowin’ tufts of hair.
“Hell, you’re right,” I said. “Must be a thousand of ‘em.”
“Left here!” she said.
I cranked it left and swung the Toyota onto a street called Fetting Avenue and floored it. There were a few dead-eyed people along the sides of the road, but by the time their ink-black brains realized there was a noise, we were past ‘em. I figured lots of ‘em hooked up with the southbound horde.
“Get on the radio, would you, Georgie? See where they are.”
Georgina Lake keyed the radio. “Lilly? Danny? Are you there?”
“Mom!” It was Roxy’s voice.
“Yes, baby!” said Georgie. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, but Danny and Lilly have already made two runs to the boat with the skiff. They’re waiting at the dock for you now. Where are you?”
“We had a little trouble,” said Georgie. “We’re driving back down now. Had to go a little farther than we hoped.”
“Did you get what you went for?”
“Yes. We got it. How long, Cole?”
“We’ll be back at the dock in ten minutes if we can get past that horde,” I said.
“I caught that,” came Danny’s voice. “Y’all okay?”
I held out my hand and Georgie gave me the radio. “Hey, Danny.”
“CB. All good?” He sounded winded.
“That horde was huge,” I said. “And they’re probably pickin’ up more stragglers along the way, so they might be fillin’ out from the front. That means they may get to you faster than we do. Just keep an eye out to the north.”
“Don’t worry about me sleepin’ on the job, man,” he said. “Put on some steam, though. We still need to find a place to get fueled up.”
I cranked it right on Hazel Road, but that soon ran out and I had another choice to make. “Damn! Wish I had a GPS in this damned thing!”
We were stopped at the T-intersection at Yancy Street. To our left, it was a dead end, just two blocks up. To the right, we could see the massive horde flowin’ down Beal. I looked straight ahead to where Hazel continued south just as Georgie pointed.
We didn’t have a choice. I drove across Yancy, drivin’ as fast as I dared to now. In under a minute, we hit another T-intersection at Clifford Street. I looked to my right and saw the very first rotters comin’ down Beal.
“Look! They’re just gettin’ there now. We might be able to beat ‘em.”
“Are you sure?” Georgie’s voice gave away that she wasn’t sure I was right. “Can we go further?”
“Hell no, I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Fuck it.” I cranked it left on Clifford and immediately came to another north-south street called Trowbridge. I turned right and floored it.
“When we dead end again, we’ll head over,” I said. Sure enough, in seconds, we hit Lewis Street, and I saw no other options to continue south. “It’s now or never,” I said. I turned right.
Beal was clear. Feelin’ encouraged, I pressed the Toyota pickup to its limits. When I got to the corner of Lewis and Beal, I looked right, seein’ the horde a block back.
“Yeah!” I screamed, turnin’ left. In minutes, I was back on Memorial Parkway, then back on Highway 98. I turned left and made my way back to the dock.
