by Unknown
“You can no longer deny it, mi amor,” she returned. “You want me.”
He grimaced. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought I was dreaming. I thought you were Marlena. Why are you wearing her dress, her perfume?”
She held her hands out wide. “I thought this was what you wanted. Someone who dresses like this, smells like this.”
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want someone. I want her. Rosa, you and I will never be together. Stop torturing yourself.”
She snorted and came to a stand. “That’s not what you told her. I heard you. You said you and I belong together, and that’s what your body is telling me right now. You can’t want some little virgin girl. She won’t know what you like. She won’t know how to please you.”
His spine stiffened and his jaw clenched but he fought for composure. “Rosa, whatever she does will please me, because she is the woman I love.”
She huffed and planted her arms on her hips. “How can you love her, Dalton?”
He held his hands out wide. “How can you love me, Rosa? The heart wants what it wants.”
Her lips pressed into a thin, hard line and she studied the ceiling, swallowing hard several times before she looked at him again. Her voice was so raw with emotion that she had a hard time uttering the words. “Is it because I’m a whore? Is it because you think I won’t make a good wife or mother?”
A deep breath drifted from his lungs. He ached for her, for her pain. He went to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “No, Rosa. It’s because you’re not her. And that’s the only reason.”
Her shoulders rose as she took a deep breath and buried her face in her hands. “I feel so foolish, coming here like this.”
“You’re not a fool,” he told her. “You’re wonderful and-”
“Don’t,” she sobbed. “Do not make it worse with your beautiful words. I thought...”
“What?” he urged.
She took a few, steadying breaths. “I thought my letter would keep her away. If you only had some time away from her, you’d come back to me.”
Red, hot anger worked its way up to Dalton’s face, flushing his cheeks and crowding his throat. “What are you saying, Rosa?”
Her body rose with a deep breath and she turned wide, tear-filled eyes onto him. “Shortly after you left me for good, her letter came for you. She said she loved you. I was...jealous, angry. You must believe me,” she said as she clutched his shoulders “I was desperate. I...I wrote her back as you. Told her we had married and to abandon all hope. I thought your feelings would fade, that you’d come back to me.”
A thin hiss filled the room as he sucked in a breath through his nose. It made sense. He’d sent Rosa enough letters that she could emulate his handwriting. Marlena would have believed it was from him, and it would have destroyed her just as it had destroyed him to learn of her and Harrison. And all at Rosa’s hand, the one person he would have never suspected.
She crept toward him, reached out to him and he pushed her away. Over a year of heartache and suffering, the unraveling of all of his plans, Marlena pledging her heart to another. He couldn’t stomach it.
“Do you realize what you’ve done to me? To Marlena?” His jaw clenched and he fought to keep his voice at a level volume. “Do you realize what you’ve destroyed?”
“I’m sorry, mi amor,” she said through sobs. “Forgive me, please.”
“You’re not the woman I thought you were,” he growled. “I could never love someone like you. Get out of my sight.”
She ran from the room and Dalton swiped a hand through his hair. Even though he despised Rosa for her deception, he understood her motives. He’d thought of a hundred ways of separating Marlena and Harrison since they’d shown up. The difference was he’d never acted upon it.
With a heavy heart, he lay back down on his bed and spent the rest of the hours til daybreak in a constant fit of turns and tosses until he finally rose and saddled his horse. He bid his mother goodbye but decided against seeking out Rosa to apologize for his hostile tone. It would only make things worse. He turned his mount down the road and studied Ellie’s boarding house as it came into view. He pulled on the reins when he saw Marlena sitting on the front steps.
They locked eyes and the fire burning in hers told him something had happened. His body tensed as he jumped from the saddle. She descended the stairs and approached him.
“What’s the meaning of this?” she said, thrusting a crumpled note at him.
He took a deep breath and unfolded the note until he read a Shakespearean quote. His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What is this?” he asked.
“Don’t play coy with me, Dalton. You’ve been sending me notes since I got here, but this? I don’t understand. Are you trying to tell me you want me dead? Your words and actions have me spinning in circles.”
He shook his head to clear it of the morning fog. “I’m sorry, what? I’ve been sending you notes? Marlena, I haven’t sent you a note like this since Boston.”
She drew back, clearly not expecting his answer. “Don’t be ridiculous. Who else would send me Shakespearan quotes? Quite a coincidence, wouldn’t you say?”
Before Dalton could sort out her words, or the implication of them, he heard a woman’s scream from the Gold Hill Hotel across the street. He and Marlena exchanged worried gazes before rushing across the dusty road to push through the hotel’s front entrance. A maid was huddled on the ground and they went to her. When Dalton saw what had caused the outburst, his body seized up and his breath lodged in the bottom of his throat.
There, dressed in Marlena’s red gown was Rosa, swinging from the second floor balcony by a rope tied around her neck. Bile rushed to Dalton’s throat and his stomach tightened. Marlena gasped beside him, curling into his body to shield her from the sight. He wrapped his arm around her, but he couldn’t turn his face from the ghastly sight. His entire body froze, watching her sway back and forth above the empty gambling hall of the Gold Hill Hotel and Saloon.
The bartender ran into the hall. “Jesus,” he muttered.
Dalton pulled a knife from the sheath on his belt. “Cut her down,” he commanded, handing over the knife. The bartender’s ashen face filled with horror. “Now!”
The man ran up the stairs and Dalton went to Rosa, placing a hand on one of her ankles and the other up below her rear so he could catch her when she fell. Her purple face stared down at him, eyes wide with immortalized fear. His skin pimpled with thousands of bumps and his breath caught in his chest.
“Hurry up,” he called, not wanting to see such a sight. The rope groaned and snapped and she fell into his arms. Cradling her lifeless body, her head rolled into his shoulder and he closed his eyes, trying not to feel how cold her skin was against him. His eyes stung when he opened them again. A small slip of white paper stuck out of the top of her bodice. He went to the floor and laid her across his lap so he could pull it out. It was a folded note with his name written on the outside. Her suicide note to him.
A great weight crashed down on him and he clutched her to him and sobbed.
Chapter 24
A cold wind whistled through the cemetery above Gold Hill. Beneath a gray sky swollen with unshed snow, Dalton, Juliet and a few other ladies from the brothel huddled around Rosa’s coffin. Marlena stayed a respectful distance away wondering why she’d come, but then she studied the hunched form of Dalton and knew exactly why. He was hurting and she couldn’t bear to let him do it alone. Neither could Indigo, who lay beside her, whining and whimpering. She reached down to smooth her palm over his head.
An approaching horse carried a priest, whose stern face shook back and forth as he dismounted. Clutching his Bible, he approached the small group of mourners.
“Have you called me here to confess your sins and come to God?” he asked, and only Juliet raised her fiery eyes on him.
“We called you here out of respect for Rosa,” she said. “She was a Catholic and wanted-”
Without a word, Dalton threw his fist into the priest’s mouth and would have carried on his assault had Juliet not stood in his path and calmed him down. The priest scrambled away on his hands and knees until he reached his horse. He spat a mouthful of blood and a few teeth into the dirt before mounting and riding off.
With his absence, Juliet gave the eulogy, espousing the same traits Marlena had discerned when she’d first met the woman. Rosa had been kind and soft-hearted, full of love and goodness, and relegated to a lifestyle many other good women had no choice but to assume. Marlena bore no ill will toward the woman for stealing her gown. It was a fine garment that would tempt the most restrained. When the undertaker asked if she wanted it back, Marlena had declined. Instead, she insisted the woman be buried in it.
A prayer was spoken, dust thrown over the coffin, and the ladies departed in a fit of tears. Only Dalton remained to grieve alone. Marlena longed to go to him, but she didn’t. Too much strain and strife existed between them and this was not the time or place to air those issues. More than anything, she wanted him to know she was there, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him. For fourteen months, she believed he’d been married to that woman, and though he’d declared it false only last night, it was hard to abandon the feeling that she was somehow intruding on a man’s private grief over his wife. Despite his declarations of love for Marlena, his affection for Rosa was obvious.
“I’m surprised you’re here,” he said without turning around. “Someone might see you. Can you imagine? The American Songbird at the grave of a whore.” He laughed, a humorless, cold sound. “I know, I know. You are nothing if not charitable. I mean you allowed her to be buried in your dress, for Christ’s sake. What right do I have to criticize you? You, the woman I sent her to her death over.” A long pause ensued. “Of course you won’t speak. Talking is not your way of communicating, is it? Why don’t you sing us a song?”
The words didn’t cut. They didn’t even penetrate for she knew he uttered them from a place of deep grief. Instead of fighting back, of giving him the outlet he craved for his anger, she did the only thing she knew to do. She walked across the open space between them and smoothed her arms around his waist, resting her head against his back in the space between his shoulder blades. She held tight to him, feeling the sharp intake of his breath and then the soft ripple of silent sobs. There was no need to see his face to know it was wet with tears. She actually preferred not to see it, knowing she couldn’t bear it. His lungs filled with a deep breath, pressing his warm back to her cheek and she closed her eyes at the sensation of it.
He sniffled and she took a deep breath to keep her own emotions inside. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Dalton,” she said softly before his calloused palms moved over the tops of her hands.
“I’m sorry,” he said, clearing his throat from the hoarseness of emotion. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I know. It was your grief talking.”
“No, it was my guilt,” he said. “This is all my fault.”
Her eyes sprang open and she moved around to face him, her arms still sitting around his waist. “Listen to me,” she said. “Rosa took her own life. You bear no responsibility for that.”
He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. Marlena cupped his cheek and had to fight an onslaught of tears when he leaned his face into her palm. He pinched his quivering lips together and lifted his eyelids. The tears brimming there brightened the blue of his eyes.
“I wish that was true,” he said. “But it’s not.” His hand slid up her arm until he held her wrist and pulled her hand from his face. But he didn’t let go. He threaded his fingers through hers, and she curled her fingers around his, pressing their palms together.
“She loved me,” he said. “She’s loved me for years. When I came back from Boston and I told her I didn’t feel the same, she took it hard. And I believe she always hoped we would end up together. She came to me last night dressed as you, wearing your perfume.”
Marlena swallowed and bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to hear what happened next. She tried to pull her hands from his, but he held them tight.
“I sent her away because she wasn’t you,” he said, and she looked up to find him staring intently at her. “She sent you the letter, Marlena, the one that drove us apart. After her admission, I was filled with rage. I said some things...” He shook his head.
“Shh…” she soothed, bringing his hands to her lips to plant tiny kisses on each knuckle. “Don’t.”
“Marlena,” he whispered. “I want you. I love you. I know you’ve spent the last year in hell like me, a victim of Rosa, but…” He took a deep breath and locked eyes with her. “If you tell me there’s no future for us I might as well climb down that hole with Rosa.”
Marlena’s chest expanded with warmth and love as she studied his face, the same face she’d seen a thousand times in her sleep. A soft smile tugged at her lips and she took a step forward. Their bodies almost touched.
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves,” she said, and watched the sadness in his face flee in the face of warm love, recognizing the quote she’d used on him over a year ago. She reached up to cradle his face, peering deep into his eyes. “Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service.”
His hands went around her waist and he smirked. “I do love nothing in the world so well as you.”
He lowered his head and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and molded her body to his, returning the tender display of affection. After a soft nibble of her lip, they pulled apart, and the soft light of sadness had returned to his eyes.
“I’d like some more time alone, if you don’t mind,” he said before he took a hard swallow. “She left me a note, and I’d like to read it on my own.”
Marlena nodded. “Of course. I’ve got some things to take care of today anyway.” She stood on her tip toes to land another soft peck on his lips. “Find me later?”
He nodded and she left him to his emotions. As soon as she entered the boarding house, Sarah accosted her.
“What were you thinking, going up there?” she demanded. Her eyes narrowed on Marlena and she lowered her voice as if suddenly aware that others might be privy to their conversation. “You could have been seen.”
“And what if I had been?” Marlena asked. The weight of the morning’s events sagged her shoulders. She didn’t have the energy to deal with Sarah’s righteous indignation. “What would people assume of me? That I have a heart that aches for a woman who took her own life? Or for the man who loved and mourns her?”
“They would assume you associated with her enough to gain that ache.” She gripped Marlena’s arms. “You have everything you’ve ever wanted in life. The nation loves you. Harrison loves you. Opera Houses can’t send invitations quick enough to book you. But it can all be taken away by one scandal. Don’t throw it all away on a whore.”
Jess appeared, waddling through the kitchen door into the dining room. “Marlena is old enough to think and act according to her own conscience.”
Sarah sighed and pinched her nose, turning to face Jess. “Of course she is. I’m just advising her. And it’s Ruby, if you please.”
Jess flinched and raised an eyebrow. “She is my sister, and I’ll call her by the name our mother gave her. Don’t overstep your place here, Sarah.”
Sarah shriveled as much as her own strong backbone allowed. “I’m only trying to uphold what has cost six years of my life to create and maintain. Don’t forget who has sacrificed the most to get Ruby where she is today.”
A thick tension filled the air as Jess came closer. “I know exactly who has sacrificed most. My sister.”
Marlena sighed and turned to leave the house.
“Where are you goi
ng?” Sarah and Jess said in unison.
“Away...to a place where the right things matter most.”
She saddled Achilles and rode to the orphanage. Emily greeted her at the door with a wrinkled brow and a worried look. Her eyes roved over Marlena’s black gown.
“What’s happened? Jess? The baby?”
“No,” Marlena soothed. “They’re both fine. It was no one you’d know. I just needed to get away to somewhere with hope.”
Emily snorted. “And you came here?”
“Why wouldn’t I? You’ve given these children more hope than most would have.”
“I wish I could give them blankets and coal to keep them warm at night, too” she returned with a sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“Winter’s coming on faster than usual and we haven’t raised enough funds to cover the costs of heating the building, and blankets are scarce. The children are sleeping two and three to a bed right now to keep warm at night.”
Marlena’s shoulder sagged. “Can anything be done to increase the fundraising? Perhaps the churches?”
“The churches already provide as much as they can spare, and all of my living stipend goes to the children’s food and clothing.”
“What about community outreach events? There is a lot of money in these hills with the silver mines. I can’t believe children will go cold when there are many to help out.”
Emily shrugged. “If it were up to the generosity of the community, we would be fine, but things are not the same as when you lived here before. Most of the people here aren’t making the money they used to. All of the mining claims have been bought out by rich men like my father. No smaller claims exist. The majority of the wealth goes to a handful of families. Everyone else just earns their wages and nothing more. I know how the wealthy think. Men like my father would never waste a cent on an orphan.”
Marlena nodded. “I know how they think, too, believe me. They don’t give anything unless there’s something in it for them, unless they can be praised and congratulated at the very least.”
