“Mmm. Maybe…”
True to form, Maddy ripped off the paper. “Oh, wow. It’s got my picture on the front.”
“It’s all about Maddy,” Nicki explained, sliding off of the chair to join her on the carpet. Maddy turned the pages, fascinated by the elaborate illustrations, the old family snapshots that started with her babyhood and ended with her last few months. “Your daddy had your pictures all over the house, and he wanted to do something special with them.”
Without Nicki realizing it, Jared had slipped to the floor beside them. “Look, there’s you in the wading pool,” he said. “And you, with me at the zoo, when you were just a baby.”
Maddy traced some of the photos, and the memory album did a quiet push-pull between father and daughter. Heads together, they pored over shared memories. The very end of the book was filled with blank pages, and a single note Nicki had fashioned in painstaking calligraphy.
“‘Dearest Maddy,”’ Jared read out loud. “‘This is your life. We have some empty pages left, but I wanted it that way, because we can look forward to filling them with a lifetime of happy memories and good times. You make me very proud to be your daddy. Thank you for sharing your Christmas with me. Love’—” Jared choked, and bit his lower lip “—‘Your daddy.”’
The letter was met with dead silence. The clock on the mantel ticked, the furnace kicked in, and a southerly wind gusted against the windows. Maddy finally reached over and pulled the book off his lap and onto hers. Saying nothing, she closed it.
Nicki’s heart tripped wildly in her chest. She’d gone too far. She’d put words in Jared’s mouth, words he hadn’t put there and perhaps he didn’t want to put there. She’d put Madison’s childhood on the line, she’d brought up the past, and she’d spread it in front of them both. She had intended to heal them, instead she’d gone too far.
Still, there was no going back.
“Madison,” she said gently, “there’s something else…” She pushed an identically wrapped gift in her direction. “It’s a little something that I noticed in all the pictures.”
Maddy stared at it. Even Jared eyed the gift suspiciously, his jaw thumping with unspent emotion.
Taking it, Maddy halfheartedly pulled off the tissue. A bedraggled yellow bunny ear popped out. Madison’s eyes widened. She yanked the rest of the paper aside. “Foster,” she chortled, pulling the faded yellow bunny to her chest. “It’s Foster.” She pulled him away, to survey his pathetic features. “Where was he?” she demanded.
Jared straightened. “I’d packed him away. I thought maybe someday you’d want him.”
“I’ve wanted him forever,” Madison sighed, closing her eyes and pulling him back to her chest.
Nicki smiled, thanking her heavenly stars for doing the right thing where this child was concerned. It was her mother, really, who had unwittingly pointed the right direction all those years ago. Her mother, who had known how to love. “Foster was in most of the photos, and I told your daddy maybe you’d like to have him back. You know, Madison, your daddy has a whole box full of your very special things in his room.” Taking a deep, painful breath, Nicki plunged ahead. “Maybe someday next week, when I’m not here or something, you can go through it together. I think it would be good for both of you.”
Jared’s eyes darted in her direction.
Madison’s lovely mouth puckered. “It’s my miracle, isn’t it?” she sniffled.
“It is if you want it to be.”
Maddy buried her face in Foster’s nappy fur. “Daddy?” she mumbled.
“Yes?”
“I really want to stay here. Forever, Daddy. And I—I want you to know, I think this is the best Christmas ever.” She crawled over wrapping paper, bows, and gifts, to claim his lap and loop her arms around his neck and unwittingly poke him in the eye with one errant bunny ear. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, Maddycakes.”
She turned from his hug, to face Nicki. “You promised me a miracle, and it happened. Just like you said. My daddy really loved me—only I never knew it.”
Chapter Fifteen
They spent the rest of the morning leisurely opening presents. Madison, who had grown weary of all the excitement, had hurried upstairs, with her bunny tucked under her arm, to set up her new power print doll.
Jared, thinking they were finished with the gift-giving frenzy, claimed he was going to throw another log on the fire while Nicki checked on dinner.
“Wait a minute,” Nicki said, removing a small box from the pocket of her robe. “This one’s for you.” After everything that had happened, she’d had second thoughts about giving it to him. She extended it, uncomfortably aware the box had absorbed her body heat.
He paused, genuinely surprised. “I didn’t expect you to—”
“Open it.”
Jared hesitated momentarily, then pulled off the wrapping paper, exposing a small blue velvet jewelry box, similar to the ones they used at Gillette’s. He stared at it. “This makes me feel crazy. I haven’t had a present in years.”
“What? The slippers and gloves from Madison don’t count? The magazine subscription from Irene doesn’t count?”
“I meant—” he broke off. “Something special. A real present.”
“Then it’s about time,” Nicki said softly. “Especially after all the good you do for other people.”
He frowned.
“I stumbled onto that sheet outlining all your charities,” she said. “It was an accident, and I didn’t mean to pry, but I ended up pretty impressed with all your good works.”
He waved off her praise. “They aren’t my charities, they’re tax deductions.”
“You don’t have to do anything, Jared. But you choose to. That’s what makes you special. The respite program, the women’s shelter, the foster care program. They are all organizations that make a difference. And what about me?” she emphasized. “You took me in, and made a difference in my life. I’ll never forget you, Jared, or what you’ve done for me. These past weeks have been…” She couldn’t bring herself to say how much he had affected her. How could you describe exhilaration, wonder, euphoria? “This isn’t much, only a it’s-the-thought-that-counts gift. But it’s something that reminds me of you, and I hope, down the road, it’s a gift that will remind you of me.”
Jared shook his head, considering. “I got you a sweater, and bath salts, and a book. I’m no match for your imagination, St. Nick. The wonderful album for Maddy….”
She tried to laugh through her emptiness and misery. “Ah, well, St. Nick has a reputation to live up to. Go on,” she urged. “Open it.”
Jared flipped back the lid.
Gold cuff links, inset with mother-of-pearl.
When the seconds slipped away and he said nothing, Nicki shifted. “I know it seems like a personal gift,” she said. “But the first night, when we went to the gala, I kept noticing the way you straightened the cuffs at your wrists. I don’t know why, but I’ve always thought of that. I’ve never forgotten it. I have this image in my head, of how you looked, the way you smiled. Everything. That night left its mark, Jared. You left your mark. I’ll never be the same, not after knowing such a remarkable man like you.”
Head bent, he seemed stunned by her revelation, and stared at the cuff links, his thumb absently flicking the mother-of-pearl.
“I think, after I fell into your office, I fell a little bit in love with you, Jared,” she admitted quietly. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I only intended to do the job. And the Santa Claus job was easy. It was living under your roof, with all these crazy mixed-up emotions, and seeing you and Madison forge a new life together, that made me realize I have to protect myself. Protect my heart,” she stressed. “Because I’ll never be a part of it. This is your family, your life, I know that.”
His hand closed around her wrist. “Dominique,” he said hoarsely, “stop. You are a part of it, the biggest part of it. If it wouldn’t have been for you, this all would have fa
llen apart.”
“I don’t think so. You’re a smart man, you would have found a way to salvage it.”
“I did,” he said bluntly. “I found you.”
It was the closest to accolades that she was going to get, Nicki was certain of that. “I’m happy for you, Jared,” she said carefully, “love your daughter for me. Have a good life.”
“Don’t patronize me with niceties,” he said brusquely. “Take some credit. You were the one who gave me my daughter back. You gave Maddy her miracle, and the knowledge that she’s loved, and that she’s always been wanted, that she was never forgotten. You were the one, St. Nick, who gave me my family back.”
Knowing he was sincere, that he meant all he said, Nicki knew she had to content herself with just that much. She’d take his words away, and nothing more. There was no use tormenting herself on what they could have had between them if things had been different, or had treated them to a different set of circumstances.
“The only thing I regret, really regret,” she said finally, sadly, “is that my gift to you is only cuff links. I wish I had a miracle for you. To help you heal. To make you believe that people can love again, that life can go on with second chances and new beginnings.”
Jared grimaced, and his fingers slipped from her wrist.
Nicki choked back the swelling lump in her throat, feeling that he was symbolically removing himself from her. He was letting her go. It was a silent admission that he’d never ever be able to return her love, or match her passion. This would, truly, be her last day with Jared Gillette.
“Thank you for the cuff links,” he said. “I’ll never wear them without thinking of you.”
With that, Nicki managed a nod, and silently got up to go to the kitchen and put the final preparations on their Christmas dinner. She’d gotten used to the sounds of the house and knew that Jared was puttering around the family room, cleaning up paper, and boxes, and tossing another log on the fire. He was good at that, always busying himself when he couldn’t face the intimacy of a relationship.
For the next hour, Nicki worked in the kitchen, determined to make this dinner—their last dinner together—special. She mashed the potatoes with a vengeance, then she beat every lump out of the gravy. When she went in to the dining room to check on the place settings, she noticed that the bayberry candles they’d purchased at the zoo were on the table, lit.
A blue velvet box was on her plate.
Nicki caught her breath. He didn’t want her gift. It was his way of sending her on her way, probably because she had revealed too much. A portion of his last words swirled through her head. I’ll never wear them…
Behind her, Nicki heard him clear his throat. She turned on her heel.
“You told me you fell a little bit in love with me,” he said.
Nicki flinched, fully aware her words had come back to haunt her.
“That’s a problem, Nicki,” he went on, “because I’ve fallen totally head over heels in love with you.”
She stared at him, unable to comprehend his meaning. Was he making fun of her?
“Don’t you get it?” he said. “You gave me my miracle. Why, St. Nick, you’re a miracle unto yourself. You were the one who brought love, laughter and hope into our lives. Every day I sat down at this dining room table and I knew it was where I wanted to be. With you, and Madison, and all the wonderful, crazy things you two can dream up. I thought I could never risk loving again. But I was wrong. You proved me wrong. God knows, the only risk I can’t take is losing you.”
Nicki grabbed the chair back for support.
“You can’t go, Nicki,” he said softly. “I won’t let you. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you here.”
She swayed on her feet. “If I was in your arms, I’d be a little more convinced,” she said weakly.
He chuckled and crossed the distance between them in record time. “Like this?” he asked, enveloping her in his arms.
“Mmm. Yes.” She savored his long, lean length, his scent, the soft kisses that grazed her temple, her forehead. “I can’t help it, I love you,” she said, making the words sound almost like an apology.
“And I’m so damned glad you do,” he growled, his breath wisping across her cheek, her ear.
He kissed her then, moving down to possess her, his hand at her breast, his mouth moving expertly over hers. He pulled her close against his hips, his thighs, rocking slightly into her. “I love you so much,” he said, “I never honestly believed a love like this was possible. Not until you came along, standing on that street corner, demanding nothing from me but an opportunity.”
“That, and a little Christmas cheer,” she qualified, whispering against his cheek.
“You’ll have it, now and forever,” he assured. “Because I love you, because you make me whole. Because you’re the heart and soul of my family.”
He pulled back from her, and reached down to her plate, to offer her the blue velvet box. “I got this for you yesterday…and then I couldn’t bring myself to give it to you. After you said you were leaving, I had some second thoughts. My last second thoughts,” he confirmed.
Nicki’s arms slipped from his shoulders but she couldn’t bring herself to reach for the box. What if it was not what she expected?
“Open it,” he suggested.
Taking it from him, she knew, intuitively, that she held the rest of her life in the palm of her hand. Whatever happened, whatever compromise came down the road for them, she knew she’d spend her days with Jared. Nothing else mattered.
She gently pushed back the lid. It was nothing as predictable as a ring. A gold heart-shaped pendant, encrusted with diamonds, winked back at her.
“Forget the sweater and the bath salts,” he said. “This is my real gift to you. Because you helped me find my heart.”
“Oh, Jared,” Nicki breathed. “It’s beautiful.”
“When you wear it you have to think of me,” he reminded her.
“How could I ever not think of you, the man I love?”
He chuckled and took the box from her, pulling the chain and pendant free. Working the fine clasp, he lowered it over her head, and fastened it at the back of her neck. “I love you so much I want to marry you, Nicki.”
Nicki gasped as fingers moved to capture the pendant. It felt solid, secure, so much like Jared.
“Marry me, Nicki,” he urged. “There’s nothing for you in Florida, not when your family’s here. I was wrong, terribly wrong, to suggest you start a new life. This one’s waiting for you. It’s right here, and it’s waiting to be shared. You, me, and Madison. New Year’s Day would be a perfect time to celebrate a new beginning.”
“Oh, Jared. That’s outrageous. You know everyone is going to say this is too sudden.”
He laughed. “And why would I care what they say? Right now, my whole board thinks I’m nuts anyway. I’ve never given anyone the green light to go home to their families early on Christmas Eve—but I did yesterday. Because I couldn’t wait to get home to you. You’ve done crazy things to me, Dominque. I see you at my dinner table, I see you in my bed.”
At the mention of such intimacy, a shudder went through Nicki. It was what she wanted more than anything—to be loved in every emotional, physical way by Jared.
“I want you to be the mother of my child,” he said huskily, “and I want to lose myself in you, and I want you to bring another baby—our baby—to the nursery, as the ultimate gift, and confirmation of our love.”
The strength of his conviction, the depth of his unbridled emotion, undermined Nicki. All of her arguments were swept away by his earnest persuasion. Jared would give her everything she ever wanted, and he would be faithful and true.
“Just say yes,” he urged, “for the life of me, just say yes.”
Nicki nodded, her forehead against his chest, tears welling in her eyes. “Yes, yes, yes.”
He roared with relief, with laughter; Nicki shuddered, sobbing with emotion.
“Daddy? What’s wr
ong with Nicki?” Maddy asked, hesitating on the threshold of the dining room.
“Nothing.”
“But…she’s crying.”
“I know. I’ve never seen her cry before. Have you?”
Madison solemnly shook her head.
“I always cry when I’m happy,” Nicki spluttered, blotting her eyes with the backs of her hands.
“You must be really happy then,” Maddy observed.
Nicki choked, and tried not to laugh.
“It’s more than happy, Maddycakes,” Jared said, embellishing his voice with a theatrical stage whisper. “She’s in love.”
“In love! With who?”
“Me,” he said triumphantly. “Dominique Noel Holliday is in love with me.”
Madison’s mouth formed a small round “Oh.”
Nicki pulled back slightly and bent at the waist, aching to pull Madison into their embrace. “Maddy, the thing is, I love your daddy almost as much as I love you.” He chuckled, his fingers kneading her waist as if they were sharing a private joke. “He’s asked me to marry him.”
“Oh, wow.”
“We’d like to be a family, Maddy,” Jared said, “with you right smack-dab in the middle. Our little girl. The little girl who makes us a family. What do you say about that?”
Madison ran into the room, hurling herself at her daddy’s knees, and hugging Nicki. “I’d say Christmases around here just keep getting better and better,” she exclaimed.
“And the love just keeps growing,” Jared agreed. “Because St. Nick stayed, believing in us.”
“You know what?” Maddy said. “This sounds just like another miracle to me.”
“It is,” Nicki said, fiercely hugging her new family. “Love is the most wonderful miracle of all.”
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5316-5
THE NANNY & HER SCROOGE
Copyright © 2002 by DeAnna Talcott
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
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