What would Magdalen think if he tried to kiss her? He was fortunate she had not slapped him for kissing her on the cheek. Did she think of it as a brother kissing a sister? He shuddered. That would be worse than getting slapped.
He ran a hand over his face. If there were a stream nearby, he’d go dunk his head in it. Maybe the cold water would clear his thoughts.
Together they finished readying the horses.
“I don’t think anyone will recognize me if I pull the hood of your tunic up over my head,” she said, stuffing her hair into it.
He nodded. “It is a good disguise.”
As they rode into the village, they did not speak to each other, and Magdalen kept her face mostly covered while he procured supplies for their journey.
He let his gaze scour the men milling around the marketplace for Lord Hazen and his soldiers, and he was certain Magdalen was doing the same. Just as they were about to leave, he spotted two of his uncle’s guards asking questions of a group of villagers in the middle of the street.
He kept his head down while he stowed the last of the provisions in his leather saddlebag. Magdalen pulled the hood as low as possible.
Soon they were on their way back to Wolfberg.
By midafternoon the next day, they came to the path leading to Rosings Abbey.
“We will stop here for a meal, and you need to rest.” Steffan didn’t like the look of exhaustion in Magdalen’s eyes and the way her shoulders drooped.
“I don’t want to slow you down to take care of me. I’m afraid Lord Hazen will catch up to us.” Her pretty green eyes glistened with impending tears.
“Listen.” He leaned forward, drawing his horse alongside hers, and took her by the wrist. “It doesn’t matter that we are traveling a bit slower. We have at least a week before the guests arrive in Wolfberg.” He caressed her wrist with his thumb. “And secondly, I like taking care of you.”
She shook her head and made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a snort.
“You took care of me, remember? And I let you. And now you have to let me take care of you.”
“Your swollen lip is better.” She smiled. “The cut over your eye is almost healed.”
“Now, don’t worry. We will eat our food and sleep, and in the morning you’ll feel better. If God so wills, Lord Hazen would not find us even if we stayed at Rosings Abbey for a week.”
When they reached the abbey, the nuns sent Steffan to another part of the convent. They gave Magdalen a hot bowl of rabbit stew and showed her to the same room where she had slept on her way to Wolfberg, before Agnes and her father forced her to change places with her.
With her stomach full from the stew and some wheat bread and butter, Magdalen lay back in her narrow but comfortable bed and read from the Psalter that one of the nuns’ young servants had brought her. She had not seen her own Psalter since Agnes took her things.
As she read the familiar psalms of David, she was suddenly jealous that Steffan had read the entire Bible. What secrets and knowledge and wisdom did he have that she did not? He did seem rather more patient and gentle than other young men—not that she’d met many young men.
A knock came at her door. “Come in.”
A middle-aged nun entered looking quite sober, her brows drawn together. She sat on a stool next to Magdalen’s bed.
“My dear, the other nuns tell me that you are traveling with a young man who is not your husband, just the two of you.”
“It is true.”
“There are many things that can happen to a young woman traveling alone with a man who is not her husband. I would like to set you on your guard.”
“I thank you for that. If I were with almost any other young man, I might have cause to be alarmed or even afraid. But you see, this young man, whom I shall call Stoffel, is very . . . noble-minded, and not the kind of young man to take advantage of anyone, and he knows I have no intention of allowing anyone to take advantage of me. I shall not marry except for true love, and neither he nor I are in love.” She smiled to show that she was in no way being oppressed or coerced. But as she said the words, a twinge of pain stabbed her heart.
“Are you sure he is not in love with you?” The woman squinted and tilted her head as she stared into her eyes. “I was there when he was told he would have to separate from you. The look on his face—”
“Oh, I can assure you that you are mistaken. We are only friends, like brother and sister.” So why did tears threaten and sting her eyes? Steffan was not in love with her, but she . . . she could certainly see the wisdom of this woman’s words. It was unwise for a young woman to travel alone with a young man—especially a young man like Steffan—because she was in danger of falling in love with him.
But she did not feel the need to share that information.
“I sense that you are troubled. Is there anything I can help you with?” Only the nun’s face was visible, and from the slight wrinkles around her eyes, Magdalen guessed she was probably a little younger than Magdalen’s mother’s forty years.
“I don’t think so. I am trying to get something back that was taken from me. But I don’t think there is anything you could do to help, although I thank you for your willingness to offer.”
“Sometimes we must wait on God for help, and I believe God wants you to wait on Him now, for true love as well as getting back what was taken.”
Magdalen smiled. “Thank you. I’m sure you are right.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Magdalen’s heart thumped harder as they drew near to Wolfberg Castle. They could not let any of the guards see them entering, so they left their horses at a stable in the village at the base of the castle mount. Steffan led them on foot around the front gate through the woods.
Neither of them spoke. Magdalen followed as he dodged around trees and bushes. She was completely lost, but he grew up here, so he knew where he was—she hoped.
“We have had quite an exciting quest, have we not?” He raised one brow.
She couldn’t help smiling at him. “Yes, if you think running for our lives and nearly getting killed or captured is exciting.”
“You should admit that you enjoyed our adventure.”
She drew in a quick breath. “Highly presumptuous. I suppose that is the way with dukes.”
“Other dukes. I am merely being honest and prompting the same honesty from you.”
“Oh, is that what you call it? Very well, I do enjoy being with you. It is the most excitement, as you call it, I’ve had my entire life. But you seem to think it is nearly over. We still have to defeat your evil uncle and cousin. We have no assurance that we shall have any allies in our fight, and Lord Hazen and his men could return at any time.”
“I like to think we have survived the most difficult parts.”
They moved through the trees down a shallow hillside until they came to a rushing stream. It was narrow enough that he was able to leap over it. He turned and extended his hand to her. She grasped it and jumped across. Then they moved up the hill.
“We’ll spend the night inside the castle, but we’ll have to hide out here in the woods until it gets dark.”
“Inside the castle?”
“I know every inch of Wolfberg Castle, including one place I don’t think even my uncle knows about.”
“At least he wouldn’t think to look for us in the castle.”
She couldn’t help watching his face, noting every nuance of his profile, memorizing each line and curve of his jawline and nose and brow and lips. Ever since he kissed her cheek, she’d been half afraid, half hopeful he might kiss her again. But she could not encourage such a thing.
Twilight was falling as they neared the meadow where they used to graze their sheep and geese. They hid in the shadows and watched the new goose girl herd her gaggle of geese along the path and out of sight on their way to the goose pen. The sheep were nowhere in sight.
They sat and ate some of the food they had been given at the abbey. Then they we
nt to the place under the rock where Steffan had hidden his important things. He dug up his metal box, dumped everything into his traveling bag, and waited for nightfall.
When it grew quite dark, they crept toward the castle. As they watched from the cover of the trees, a guard strode by, keeping close to the castle. Several minutes later, he came by again.
When the guard was out of sight, they hurried to the small door at the rear of the castle that was always locked. Steffan took out his key, opened the door, then locked it behind them.
They were inside.
Steffan and Magdalen both wore their servants’ clothing, so they would not stand out too much, but all servants should be in their beds at this hour. They had to move with stealth and hope no one saw them.
Steffan headed down a corridor Magdalen was probably unfamiliar with as he made his way to the east wing of the castle. He found the door he was looking for. It was locked. He took out his key and opened it.
How fortunate that he had taken this key with him when he went to Prague.
The door led to a small room and a winding staircase that went up and around in a circular fashion. They walked to the staircase and started up.
“I’ve never seen a staircase such as this,” Magdalen said. “It almost makes me dizzy.”
They came to a small window. They were in the highest tower of the castle. Magdalen stepped onto the stair beside him and they both looked out.
The view of dark-blue waters seemed to go on forever, and from here they could see a glimpse of white cliff faces jutting into the edge of the water.
“You are so fortunate to grow up in a home as magnificent as Wolfberg Castle, and one from which you can see the ocean . . . I can’t think of anything better.”
His heart grew so big it filled his chest. But he replied, “I am glad you approve of the view.”
“I like the hills where I live, with the thick forests, but you have both forests and sea. Did you miss it when you were in Prague?”
“I did. For a long time it was hard to go to sleep at night without that distant roar.”
“What was it like to be with men who were focused on learning?”
“Some were not always focused on our studies. Some were more focused on pursuing . . . women and drink.”
“But not you?”
She just assumed he did not pursue the sins of the flesh. His heart expanded again at the thought of her faith in him.
“I had seen them, the way they looked when they came back from a night of drinking and carousing—sick and dirty and barely able to hold up their heads—and I was not tempted to join with them.”
“That was wise and mature of you.”
“I had two friends who felt the same way. We sometimes played tricks on the other fellows, and we went to dances and festivals. We enjoyed our time together.”
“Were they also dukes?”
“My two closest friends were earls’ sons, but we kept our titles a secret.” He suddenly wished she could meet them.
“What were their names?”
“Mertein and Claus.”
“The best friend I ever had was Avelina—Lady Thornbeck—but I only was able to be with her for two weeks. She promised she would send a group of guards to escort me to visit her after her baby was born. But then I sent her a letter telling her I was going to marry you.” Without pausing, she stood. “Shall we go on the rest of the way? It cannot be much farther, can it?”
“No, not much.”
They were quiet the rest of the way up. He could hardly wait to show her the view from the top.
He did not even have to use his key, as the door was slightly ajar. He pushed it open, and once they were inside, he locked the door behind them.
“No one ever comes up to this room, but there is also a secret hiding place, which I will show you later.”
The room was relatively clean, in spite of being unused for so long. Some broken furniture and other clutter—old clothing and a couple of trunks, some tools and some paintings—were stacked against the wall.
She started toward the window. She had already noticed the view. “Oh, it is beautiful from up here.”
All the windows had been inset with glass several years before, but the thick panes caused a somewhat distorted view.
“Better to see it unobstructed.” He used considerable force on the metal clasp. It finally gave way, and the window swung outward on its hinge, opening a one-foot-wide by three-feet-high space, letting in the cold evening air.
“I can hear the sea. That sound is so different from anything I’ve heard before.” Magdalen leaned on the windowsill and let her head hang out. She brought her head back in quickly. “I don’t suppose it’s wise of me to let anyone see us up here.” She grimaced. “But I can hardly wait to see what it looks like in the morning light.”
Air filled his lungs at her delighted smile. How could he bear to let her leave after this was over? Could she ever love him? He kept remembering her joy at not ever having to marry. How much time did he have to talk to her before Lord and Lady Thornbeck would arrive, ready to save her from her nightmare? How soon would her mother come with her own men to take her back to Mallin?
He turned away from her. “I’ll go find some food for us.”
“Are you sure that’s safe?”
“I will do my best to avoid anyone seeing me. The only people who should be roaming around the castle this time of night are the guards, and there shouldn’t be many of those.”
“Be careful.”
“I can only lock and unlock the door from the outside. I’ll try to come back as soon as possible.”
She suddenly put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I will pray for you.”
“Thank you.” He hugged her in return until she pulled away. But then he kissed her cheek, just as he had done a few mornings ago.
His heart pounding, he turned away before he could see her reaction.
He had two choices before she left Wolfberg. He could simply bid her farewell, or he could ask her to stay forever. But he was sweating just thinking about it.
Magdalen searched through the things in the room until she found an old tarp and a sheepskin and a few old, worn blankets. She used them to make two beds for them, along with the blankets in their bags they had brought with them. Oh, how long it had been since she’d had a proper bath and clean bedding! For this alone Lord Hazen deserved to be punished.
As she lay on the floor looking up through the window at the sky, Magdalen’s mind was fixed on Steffan. It had seemed so wise for her to keep her feelings about him a secret. After all, what could she say? I think if you loved me, I could love you too? That she would like to marry him because she thought he was a good, kind man and she felt this strange longing for him?
She could not say any such things. Nor would she. She would not humiliate herself over a man who had once told her people should marry for a better reason than love.
Then why did he kiss her on the cheek, twice? Some families, certainly, were more affectionate than her own. Her mother never kissed her, but she and Avelina had kissed each other on the cheek. Magdalen kissed her sisters on the cheek sometimes. Perhaps Steffan thought of her as a sister and that was why he kissed her. But she had met Steffan’s sister, and Gertrudt had not seemed particularly affectionate.
Her mind and heart were full of him. “Oh God,” she whispered, “take this longing out of my heart, or let him care for me as much as I care for him.”
Three soft raps came at the door, then she heard the key clicking inside the lock, and the heavy wooden door opened.
“I brought some food.” Steffan entered and opened his bag. “Oh, you made us beds.” He smiled.
He sat beside her, and they ate and drank and then lay down.
She made sure the beds were not too close together but still close enough that she and he could talk.
“Just knowing Lord Hazen could come back any moment makes me nervous,” Magdalen whispered
from her makeshift bed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep.”
“Shall I sing for you?”
“That would be lovely.”
“But you might not like my singing, and I’m not sure if I can sing quietly enough.”
“Oh no, you cannot not sing now. You must.”
“Will you laugh at me if I sing poorly?”
“Probably. No, please, do sing something. I’m sure you have a lovely voice.”
“Well, there is a ballad that Engel, one of the nursery servants, used to sing to me at bedtime.” He began to sing. When he reached the end of the first verse, he stopped.
“You sing beautifully. Won’t you sing all of that song?”
“That’s all I remember. Are you not sleepy now? Have I not put you to sleep?”
“If you sing it again, I think it will.”
“Very well.” He sang it again, and her eyes locked on his as she watched his face in the scant light that came in through the window glass. His eyelids were beginning to droop, and he lay down.
“Thank you. You have a good voice.” Truly, he had sung very well, so well that she was afraid to say just how impressed she had been.
Steffan mumbled something she didn’t understand, and then she heard the regular, even breathing that signaled he was already asleep.
They spent the next morning talking quietly, and Magdalen’s heart nearly burst every time she looked into his eyes. It felt as if he wanted to tell her something. Several times he opened his mouth and she thought he was about to confide something important, but then he would give a slight shake of his head and look away.
Steffan said, “I need to show you something, in case our secret place is found out and Lord Hazen tries to come up here.” He led her over to the cluttered side of the room where a broken table lay top down on the floor. He moved the table with care so as not to make too much noise—and showed her a tiny handle in the wooden floor. When he lifted the handle, a three-foot square came up with it, revealing a hole in the floor.
The Noble Servant Page 22
