“Looks an awful lot like a normal cavern to me,” says Sayda.
“Yeah, but those rocks sure do look stacked. Why would they put them back after getting Merrick’s body out? It makes no sense unless they’re hiding something,” Hadwin tells Sayda.
Hadwin seems to believe me, and that is a relief. But failing to convince Sayda is frustrating. I desperately need both of them to be with me on this. If I have to continue alone I will, but having both of their help would significantly increase my chances of succeeding. My only option is to change my approach.
“Look, Sayda, how long have we known each other? When have I ever been one to make up lies to cover my mistakes? I know this whole thing is messed up, but put yourself in my position. What would you have done if you saw one of us get murdered with no way to stop it? Would you have let the rest of us get killed or would you have done whatever was necessary to save us?” I ask. Sayda remains silent, but her folded arms drop to the side and with them, I feel her defiance weaken ever so slightly.
“I would’ve done anything to save Merrick or to make his murderer pay, but not if that means sacrificing you, Hadwin, and Talia. I do feel guilty for not being able to save Merrick and for letting him get so far in that passage alone. I would’ve never allowed any of this if there was any way to stop it.” I move toward her as I continue.
The frustration and anger I have been keeping locked up inside comes out in my words to her. If she is to believe me, she must see how this has affected me. I place my hands on her shoulders, looking directly into her eyes.
“Sayda, what happened couldn’t have been stopped, but I am damn well going to find out what’s going on out there and make those bastards pay. I need you with me on this. I can’t do it alone. But I’ll try if need be,” I plead.
A tear forms in the corner of her eye as she reaches out to hug me. The honesty and resolve in my words finally broke through the remaining shreds of her anger. The pressure of her squeeze aggravates my injury, but I do not flinch. Hadwin comes over to us, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. He does not speak, but they finally both understand what I had to do.
“Okay, Kagen. I’m with you,” Sayda says, fighting off any further tears. After a few moments, we sit back down to nibble at our food.
“Is there anything else you left out?” she asks.
“Well, I’m fairly certain Leadership is involved in a cover up for a few reasons. First, I saw a symbol that looked similar to a Leadership insignia on the soldiers’ armor. Then, the Healer that examined Merrick, Trent Riley, wrote a blatantly contrived report. Also, when Aamon came to tell me about my Solar Panel maintenance details, he acted as if he enjoyed it. I don’t trust him at all,” I say.
“Yeah, that guy always seemed like an arrogant bastard to me,” Hadwin agrees. Sayda also nods in assent.
“On top of everything else, Mr. Vaden threatened me directly. I’m not sure if it was because of the cover up or if he was simply being an overprotective father. Either way, he made it abundantly clear he wants me to stay away from Talia,” I continue. “Even after all of that, I still have no idea why they’re out there or where those tracks lead.”
“I think we should avoid Talia anyway, the daughter of Mr. Vaden has to know what’s going on,” Sayda suggests.
“I don’t think she does. She covered for us in The Caves. That’s why Mr. Vaden didn’t punish the two of you. On top of that, I bumped into her again when I snuck back into The Caves. Not only did she keep it a secret, she gave me cover while getting back in past the Guards,” I say.
“Did you tell her everything?” Sayda asks with a sharp stare. She obviously does not share my trust of Talia.
“No, I told her I needed to see the area again to convince myself there really was nothing that could’ve been done to help Merrick. I do trust her, but this is going to stay between us unless we have no other options. You two are the only ones I’ve told the truth to. Not that Arluin hasn’t been poking and prodding me constantly,” I say. Both Hadwin and Sayda laugh at that, knowing how perceptive and persistent my little brother can be.
“Kagen, you have to be careful. It’s one thing for her to be helpful when she thinks you’re searching for a way to deal with Merrick’s loss, but how can you really know how she’ll react when she finds out you’re directly undermining her father,” Hadwin cautions.
“Yeah, I know,” I admit, not having a good reason to contradict his logic.
“So what’s our next move?” Hadwin asks.
“I want to get back in that passage with you guys. If we bring a little equipment I think we can get through the wall. I’m not sure if we can get to the tracks, but we can definitely get in the supply room. That has to give us some clue to what they’re doing out there,” I say.
“We need to have some form of protection though, in case we see the soldiers,” Sayda cautions.
“I’ll see what I can do for that,” Hadwin offers.
“Good,” I say. “The other thing that’s been bothering me is where they’re getting the resources for the tracks and whatever else is out there. They may have found some new resources in some cavern, but I think the equipment would have to come from Securus. Can you two quietly look around for any signs of equipment being smuggled out into The Caves? If we find a source of supplies that could help us figure out how far the cover up goes.”
We know what we want to do but have no clue to how we are going to do it. But, now that they are both involved, I am much more confident we will figure out what is really going on. It has been a while since we left the lunch hall. I need to return soon so my absence does not become too obvious. We quickly finish our food and leave Sayda’s quarters. When I reenter the lunch hall, Kesia is sitting alone at a table on the far end. I make my way over to her.
“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” I tell her. “I even went back to the infirmary.”
“I was here, you must’ve missed me in the crowd,” she says.
“Did you get the protocol to Jace?” I ask, keeping the focus on her and off of my absence.
“Yeah, he’s going over it with Rana,” she answers.
“So, what did you think of your first morning?” I ask, while sitting down.
“It was a lot more intense than I expected. I don’t know how you and Rana do it,” she admits.
“You’ll get the hang of it. Give it some time,” I tell her.
When Kesia finishes her lunch we return to the infirmary. Jace and Rana are deep in a discussion about something so we keep going to the intensive care unit. In the short time we were gone the gangly man’s condition significantly worsened. Adara is perched on top of the gurney, actively attempting to restart his heart. I immediately run over to help. She did not have time to attach the automated chest compressor to him, so she performs manual compressions. I jump in to give her a rest and to allow her the time to manage the medications more efficiently. With the first compression, I instantly regret my decision. A searing pain in my chest flares with each downward thrust. If this keeps up, I will end up passing out from the pain. I look over to Kesia, who stands at the door, paralyzed by the sight in front of her.
“Kesia, come over and take over the compressions,” I instruct. She breaks free of her fearful bonds long enough to take a position next to me. As I move away, she slides into position and timidly starts.
“Deeper, Kesia,” I tell her. As she compresses his chest wall deeper, she looks away from the man with a horrified grimace.
The first time I had to perform chest compressions, I had the same look. When I pushed down deep enough to effectively stimulate blood flow, a palpable crunch vibrated up to my hands as the ribs cracked beneath them. Even worse, the crunch gave way to a sickening grinding of the bones with each compression as I tried to revive the person. Until you understand this is expected, those are terrifying sensations.
“I felt a pop. I think I broke a rib,” she says contritely, but despite her hesitation, ke
eps the pace going.
“That’s okay, it happens all the time. Better for him to wake up with a painful chest than to not get any circulation and never wake up at all,” I reassure her. “Keep going, you’re doing great.”
She continues on and soon, her fear fades. Adara adds in more medications to stimulate his failing circulatory system. The more we do, the more obvious it becomes that he is past saving. His heart has completely shut down. It does not respond to any of our efforts. I stop Kesia while checking his heart with our ultrasound machine. Normally you see the heart’s rhythmic contractions, but no motion at all comes from his. With it being this unresponsive, we cannot even shock it back to life. He has passed.
I look over to the other patient, worried he may soon suffer the same fate. Despite being on the same treatment regimen, the bearded man is relatively stable. His confusion has not progressed, and he has managed to fight off the need for the ventilator. Looking at his chart, his lab tests are much better than the others as well. He was a healthy man prior to this by the name of Delvin. I turn around to find Kesia slumped against the wall. Her eyes are glazed while she stares at the body of man we failed to revive.
I know we did everything possible to revive him, but even so, losing your first patient is a difficult thing. So I take Kesia to our exam room to talk about it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with these situations. We need to find one that works for her.
The first step is to approach the situation from a Healer’s prospective. We sit down to discuss the details of what happened and to help her understand how to approach it next time. I give her tips on how to remember what steps to take as well as ways to make the procedures physically easier for her to do. Analyzing the situation often helps, but there is a more important message she needs to understand.
“This job can be a difficult one. There are so many things beyond our capability to heal. In the end, we must always be prepared to deal with death even while doing our best to fight it off. Sometimes, we need to step back to understand some things are beyond our reach and not meant for us to change. There’s only so much we can do. In the end, we must always take solace in knowing we gave our best efforts,” I tell her.
My own words cause me to stop and reflect. I have seen death in many forms, but as a Healer, we always have a sense of separation. We subconsciously build barriers to protect ourselves from the true destruction of the grief we are regularly confronted with. Those barriers are broken down from time to time and in situations like Merrick’s, they are destroyed altogether. But my message also applies to his situation as well. I did do everything possible and still could not stop it. Saving his life was beyond my reach to change. I must accept that and let my guilt go. Acceptance does not mean my pursuit of the truth should be abandoned. That is within my reach and I will not stop until the truth is discovered. I may not be able to bring Merrick back, but I will make sure those responsible are held accountable for their deceit and crimes.
Kesia’s eyes point to the floor. She is lost in her own mind, just as I am. The patient chime goes off, shaking both of us from our introspection. Outside we find another case of this new illness. This man looks every bit as sick and familiar to me as the others. Like Leland, he also wears the uniform of the Leadership Guard. The outbreak is spreading.
Chapter 13
That night after dinner, I lay in my bunk, unable to escape the coincidences following me. Arluin and my mother are out in the dinner hall, giving me time alone to think. We had three more cases of meningitis today, and I recently had close contact with all of them. The last man to come in was the Guard who was distracted by the two research workers in The Caves. It seems like everyone I encounter in The Caves becomes ill. As the thought crosses my mind, another one explodes to the forefront. Talia was also in The Caves. She has not yet come to the infirmary, but I cannot help but worry she could be infected.
I am startled from my thoughts by the sound of the announcement tone. The light from the monitor fills the room as Mr. Vaden appears on the screen. I rise from my bunk to see what has provoked the unexpected evening announcement.
“Good evening, I am Mr. Vaden. I apologize for interrupting your free time this evening, but circumstances have arisen necessitating this announcement. Over the past few days there have been four cases of a severe new illness. This affliction is infectious in nature and has already claimed the lives of two of the four infected. The other two remain in critical condition. Our Healers are doing everything they can, but this appears to be an aggressive pathogen.
“While investigating the nature of this infection, we have discovered the point of origin appears to be from The Caves. With the severity and virulence of this outbreak, aggressive measures must be taken to limit its spread. To that end, until further notice, all access to The Caves will be restricted except for approved research personnel. The outer door will remain closed until we have determined there is no further risk to the rest of the colony.
“Unfortunately, this also means we will be losing the resources The Caves provide until we can safely return to harvest them. I urge every person to do everything possible to ration our resources and be patient with these restrictions. Thank you for your attention, have a safe evening.”
The news is bad. I knew there would be some kind of response to the outbreak, but the thought of Leadership closing off The Caves completely never crossed my mind. We rely heavily on the resources gathered from The Caves. The health of our people could rapidly deteriorate without those resources. That was what we were faced with before the discovery of The Caves. Despite growth controls, our population had outgrown the nutrition generating capabilities of the facility. Food and water was spread thin enough to keep our people alive, but just barely. Those with less robust health were not able to cope with the lack of nutrients and many died. Mr. Vaden’s discovery of The Caves changed that. Now he is taking it away from us.
I get up to go find Hadwin and Sayda because the lack of resources is not the only problem posed by this new restriction. If we can no longer get into The Caves, we need to find another path to uncovering the truth. The social hall nearest to Hadwin’s quarters is so packed with people and loud with conversation that I can barely stand it. I wade through the crowd, looking for my friends, only to be immediately cornered by a concerned group of people. Some of them have recognized me as one of the Healers. The frightened crowd pleads for information on the new disease.
“How did they catch it?” one woman asks.
Before I have a chance to answer, another woman shouts, “How do we know if we were exposed?”
Her question is followed by a man yelling, “What are the symptoms? What if we already have it?”
I struggle to get some space. There are so many people yelling at once that it overwhelms me. With more people shoving their way forward to demand answers, the group steadily herds me toward the wall. I look around for any escape, nearly falling from the growing pressure of the oncoming crowd. I yell for them to stop, but the onslaught continues. Hands appear from the crowd, grabbing my shirt to catch my attention. If I do not do something now, they are going to trample me. The group pushes me past a large table. The funnel between the tables gives me a fleeting chance. Seizing the opening, I leap on top of it, much to the surprise of those around me.
“Calm down,” I roar to the crowd. The sight of me yelling from the tabletop temporarily halts the barrage of questions.
“I will answer all the questions I can, but you all need to calm down and listen,” I say and wait for the attention of the group. I do not like the comparison but standing here above the crowd, waiting to speak, reminds me of Mr. Vaden patiently waiting for our attention when he begins the announcements. The prolonged pause is effective. Those around me now anxiously await my words.
“Ok, so here’s what we know so far. The illness is a type of meningitis. It’s a virus that infects the natural fluid surrounding our brain and spinal cord. This one is a particularly aggressive ty
pe, and the symptoms progress rapidly. At this point, we don’t believe the infection is easily transmitted from person to person, but more research is needed. I have no information on the source of the virus, but all of those infected so far worked within The Caves.
“The warning signs to watch for are headache, fever, and neck stiffness. Unfortunately, this infection progresses rapidly to confusion and delirium, so if you or your family members having any of those symptoms, either call for the rounding Healer or come to the infirmary immediately. However, I caution all of you to only use the infirmary if truly needed. There are only a handful of us. We need to be as efficient as possible.”
As soon as I finish, the crowd again rushes me with more questions. This time my efforts to calm them back down are ineffective. The noise from the group drowns out my voice. They push each other closer to my table. I look for an opening to get away, but find none. The group has moved forward, completely surrounding me.
Suddenly, the frenzied group turns its attention toward the entrance to the hall. The screaming voices quickly fall silent. I look around, confused by the rapid change. A hushed murmur spreads through the people as a lone figure makes its way toward me from the back of the mob. Inexplicably, the crowd of people willingly accommodates the movement. My jaw drops. These are the same people who were ready to trample me only a moment ago. Now they are letting someone push past them without protest.
As the figure nears, the bizarre change begins to make sense. They are not moving for another scared person, they are moving to let Talia through. She seems to have a great sense of timing lately. She strolls through the remaining people with confidence and gracefully climbs onto my table.
“Hi, Kagen. You were doing pretty well there for a while, but it looks like I need to save you again,” she says with a subtle smile.
The Death Detail (The Securus Trilogy Book 1) Page 12
