by Sherri Hayes
He met her eyes squarely. “In my office. In your office.” Cali watched the movement of his throat as he swallowed nervously. The room seemed to be getting warmer. “And last night.”
She looked at him in disbelief, her heart hammering in her ears. He stepped toward her. This was really happening. “That’s how many times I’ve almost kissed you.” He was standing so close to her that she could feel the heat radiating off him.
“Four,” he said in a strained voice she could barely hear.
Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, and she found it was difficult to breath.
“Tell me no, Cali. Tell me to stop.”
His eyes were pleading with her, almost begging her to stop him. But she remained silent, saying everything she couldn’t with her eyes. Yes!
A deep moan tore from Matthew’s chest as he realized she wasn’t going to stop him. He took her face in his hands and claimed her mouth with his. It felt like he had been drowning, and she was his life raft. This was not a soft, sensual kiss. This was a kiss of desperation. A kiss of need, not want. And Cali needed it just as much as Matthew.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself flush against him, not a whisper of space between them. Her body felt perfect against his. So much better than he’d imagined.
Wrapping his own arms around her waist, Matthew sucked on her lips until they opened for him. They both moaned as their tongues came together and explored.
The taste of her! He couldn’t get enough. The kiss increased in intensity as the passion they’d both been repressing for the last three weeks ignited in flames.
Matthew backed her up against counter and lifted her up onto the hard granite surface. Their lips parted briefly, but quickly found each other once again as Cali’s legs parted, inviting him in as he stepped between them.
Cali wasn’t thinking; she could only feel. Her hands cupped his face, exploring with her fingers, as well as her mouth. She’d dreamed about this many times, but nothing compared to the real thing. He was hard and soft at the same time.
Perfect.
Matthew’s hands ran up her thighs, feeling the muscles beneath his palms for the first time. More kept repeating in his head. He took hold of her hips and pulled her closer, feeling the heat of her through her jeans.
Logic went out the window, and his instincts took over. It had been too long. Too much denial. Too much wanting and waiting. Just too much.
He ground into her.
A small whimper escaped her lips. It was enough to bring him back to his senses.
She’s still hurt. He started to pull away, but she locked her legs behind his waist, refusing to let him go.
He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” he panted, reassuring her what he’d known from the beginning; once something started between them, once that line had been crossed, there was no going back. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
He rested his forehead on hers, just enjoying the feel of being near each other like this. Neither said anything else or moved as their breathing returned to normal.
Matthew moved first, unlocking Cali’s legs from around him and stepping out of her embrace. This time she let him. He reached out and silently helped her down from the counter.
His hands slipped into hers, slowly rubbing across her knuckles. “You never answered me earlier.”
Cali was still trying to come to terms with the fact that this was really happening.
Matthew had just kissed her and was now caressing her hands like a lover. But it was real.
It took her a few moments to respond. “What did you ask me?”
He gave her a small smile. “Do you have any plans today?”
Oh. That question. What Cali wanted to do with her Saturday was curl up somewhere with Matthew and take advantage of the current openness he was offering her. She looked at the man before her. His body language was open, but his eyes were not. They were conflicted, guarded. How long would this last?
She sighed, remembering the promised she’d made her father to come and see him today. As much as she wanted to hang onto this Matthew for as long as he’d let her, she needed to visit her father. He was still sick with worry about the accident and needed to see her with his own eyes that she was all right. “I’m going to visit Dad at the lake house.”
Matthew just nodded. He still hadn’t let go of her hands. “When do you want to leave?”
She sighed. “An hour?” Cali didn’t want to leave him. What if everything was different when she came back? What if she was met with that face of indifference again? She didn’t know if she could handle that now.
Giving her hands a final squeeze, he released them. Cali felt the loss immediately and wanted to pull him back. She didn’t, and he stepped back.
“Go get ready. I’ll clean up down here.”
Cali felt bad. He seemed to be doing so much for her lately, and she was doing nothing for him. “It’s okay. I can do it.”
“Nonsense” he said, already moving to the sink. “I’m already dressed to go.” Then he did something that nearly had her melting on the floor. He reached up and ran his fingers slowly down her arm. She looked into his eyes, locked in that trance that always seemed to take them over. “Go,” he whispered with a hint of smile.
She pulled herself away and walked out of the kitchen.
Matthew watched her until she disappeared up the stairs and then hung his head low in shame. What had he done? Nothing had changed. She was still his boss.
But everything had changed. Cali hadn’t pulled away even though he’d given her every opportunity too. He scoffed. He’d begged her to tell him no, to say he was crazy for wanting what he did. But instead of telling him no, she’d looked at him with those deep brown eyes pleading for him to close that distance and press his lips to hers. And he did.
As he stood over the sink, staring at the unwashed dishes, he realized with a measure of sadness that he didn’t know if he could stop now. He didn’t want to.
Kissing her had been amazing, and he wanted more.
Who was he kidding? He’d wanted to lay her down and take her right there in the kitchen. And how incredibly sick was that with what she’d been through.
Then he’d heard the small sound of pain leave her, and the guilt started. If not for those many years of self discipline… Matthew didn’t want to think about that. He had to figure out what he was going to do. Absentmindedly, he reached for the bowls and began to load them into the dishwasher while he let his mind wander.
He wanted her. He wanted to explore what this was between them. Matthew didn’t know how long it would last. She was heading back to Africa in two months, maybe three, and a cross-continental relationship didn’t sound very appealing.
But then again, he was getting ahead of himself. What if Cali didn’t want a long-term relationship? What if she was just looking for a fling, something to pass the time in Chicago? Could he do that?
Placing the last dish on the rack, he closed the door to the dishwasher and turned it on, the hum of the water filling the kitchen. He looked around him. His eyes settled on a picture on the far wall of Cali and Alvin. Matthew knew he had his answer. He would take her however he could get her for however long she’d let him.
He had no idea how he’d deal with it when she returned to Africa, but that didn’t matter. What did was that she appeared to want to be with him, for now.
That brought up the next obstacle in their path. Matthew ran a hand over his face and down the back of his head. No one could know about this, about them. Cali was still very much in danger, and he didn’t want to give whomever it was any more advantage than they already appeared to have. They’d have to set some ground rules.
He smirked. Cali hated his rules already. He could just imagine her response to the limitations now running through his mind. He’d have to make it up to her.
And that thought just made his smile grow larger. For the first time, he allowed himself
to think about the actual possibility of being with her. She hadn’t wanted him to pull away before, so he had to assume there was a high possibility that they’d be sharing a bed soon.
Just the thought excited him and scared him. She was still healing. His mind started wandering again, and he needed to snap out of it. She’d be down any minute, and they’d be going to see her father. The last thing he needed was for Alvin to notice. He’d have to talk to her about that. In a way, it still felt like a betrayal to his boss even though he knew Cali was a grown woman and perfectly capable of making decisions for herself.
Agh! This line of thought was not helping. Matthew had made his decision. He’d chosen Cali. For better or worse, he was going to have a relationship with his boss—with his boss’s daughter.
He heard her coming down the stairs and knew it was time. They had an hour in the car together, and he already knew the topic of conversation. He was not looking forward to it.
Chapter 29
Cali’s mind was reeling. It had been a long time since she’d felt so excited about something, or so nervous.
Matthew had finally kissed her. And…Oh My!
Their chemistry was like nothing she’d ever experienced before, but she’d already known that. The electric current that flowed through her every time they were in a room together proved it. When he’d started to pull away, she’d been afraid to see that mask of indifference on his face. Her heart had literally skipped a beat when he’d told her he wasn’t going anywhere.
When she’d left him in the kitchen, she saw a glimpse of what looked like sadness, but she couldn’t be sure. She did know she’d seen signs of that horrid mask coming back, and it frightened her. There was nothing she could do about it, so she’d gone upstairs to get ready. If he tried to shut her out again, she’d deal with it then. Cali was not going to invite problems where there weren’t any. She’d gotten what she wanted, Matthew’s lips on hers. And there was no way she was going to be sorry about that, on any level.
When she came downstairs, he was waiting for her in the foyer with car keys in hand. He appeared to be a little nervous, but at least he wasn’t distant. She couldn’t take that.
They retrieved their coats and hurried out into the rain.
Forty-five minutes into the hour-long drive, Matthew looked over to see Cali fidgeting. Her fingers were twisting around each other, and she was pulling on the fabric of her jeans. The ride so far had been filled with a phone call to her father announcing their arrival and a brief discussion of “the ground rules” as he liked to call them.
She wasn’t thrilled about his rules. He didn’t expect her to be. In the end though, she said she understood his reasoning and agreed. There would be no displays of affection in front of anyone. He was just hoping they could do a better job than his brother and Lisa.
Now she sat quietly looking out the window. Something was bothering her. He reached out his hand and placed it over hers. Cali’s head immediately turned, a look of uncertainty in her eyes.
His fingers wove themselves between hers and gave a gentle squeeze. “What’s wrong?”
She looked down at their hands and then at him. Suddenly he knew. He hadn’t touched her since the kitchen.
Matthew needed to remember this was new to both of them, and she had no idea what he’d been thinking when she walked down those stairs with her hair pulled back into a high ponytail. She didn’t know that he’d wanted to reach up and release the constricting object so he could run his hands through her hair and pull her against him again.
His current line of thinking was not helping the situation though, and he needed to clear his mind. Cali needed reassurance. They were not far from her father’s lake house now, and he knew they’d be coming up to a nature reserve in about a mile. He took the turn off. Pulling onto the long drive, he wound back through the trees. Cali’s eyes were on him, watching.
The first parking area they came to was deserted, just as he’d hoped it would be.
With the rain and the chill in the air, it was definitely not picnic or hiking weather.
He put the car in park but left it on.
Turning in his seat, he did what he’d wanted to do since seeing her come down the stairs. He kissed her.
It was a hard kiss at first. One meant to show certainty and determination. Cali took a few seconds to respond. She hadn’t been expecting it. But after the initial shock wore off, she met his mouth with equal fervor. Soon, what was supposed to be a kiss of reassurance deepened. Their hands parted, and Matthew reached up and cradled her face in his palms, pulling her closer to him. Her fingers slid up Matthew’s chest to his neck and held on.
Cali finally pulled away this time, although she didn’t go far. She rested her forehead against his just as he’d done to her in the kitchen. She met and held his eyes, waiting. His hand caressed her face, and he pulled away to sit back in his seat. This time, however, his hand sought hers again and didn’t release it.
They sat for another few minutes just watching each other until Matthew couldn’t put off leaving any longer. He kept looking at the lips he’d just kissed and wanted more. If he wasn’t careful, they would be going at it in the back seat, and that wasn’t what he wanted. He cared too much about her to treat her that way.
With a sigh, he released her hand and put the car back in gear. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hands go back to her lap as he pulled the car back onto the road. She was biting her lip, obviously thinking about something. Her left hand moved just a fraction toward him and then pulled back. She wanted to touch him.
Without another thought, Matthew reached out again, took Cali’s hand in his, and pulled it toward him. They weren’t in public yet or in front of her father. A day of not touching lay ahead, giving them their first challenge. He didn’t know about Cali, but he hoped he could manage it. But for the next ten minutes, they were alone.
They arrived just before noon. The light drizzle was now a steady rainfall, and they ran from the vehicle to the front door, trying to stay as dry as possible. Cali saw the solid wood door open, and she ducked inside, not paying attention to the person providing the helping hand.
When she did look up, she came face to face with Jessie reaching out to take their coats. Shock crossed Cali’s face, but she didn’t get a chance to ask Jessie what she was doing there because her father took that moment to make his entrance.
“Cali!” he said, his excitement written all over his face as he wheeled into the foyer.
She went to her father’s side and bent to give him a hug. “Hi, Daddy.” Alvin hugged her back and then looked over her shoulder, his eyes settling on Matthew. “Matthew,” he remarked in a firm tone.
Matthew stepped forward and extended his hand. “Alvin.” His boss took the offered hand. “How are you feeling?”
***
To say that Alvin was shocked to see Matthew as Cali’s escort again was an understatement. He knew Matthew arranged her protection, and for that, he was glad. But the last time Matthew and Cali were there together, they hadn’t said more than a few words to each other. It gave Alvin the impression that a disagreement had happened between them, causing a rift.
He glanced over at his daughter, trying to gauge her reactions. She looked calm enough. They were standing with only a foot between them, and he didn’t feel the hostility in the room he’d felt before. Maybe they’d resolved their issues.
Good, he thought. He liked Matthew. The man was more than good at his job.
***
They strolled into the sitting room. Cali sat on the sofa near her father. Matthew took a chair on the other side of the coffee table. He wasn’t sure he could keep his hands off her if he were that close. Just watching her hips as she pushed her father into the room was enough to cause him to nearly groan out loud.
For the most part, Matthew watched and listened to father and daughter. Alvin wanted to know everything that was going on. When her father had a question about the investigation, she wou
ld defer to Matthew if she didn’t have the answer. He did note that Cali refrained from telling her father that Matthew he was now staying with her in the house.
At two o’clock, Carolyn, the live-in nurse Alvin had hired, entered the room and informed them lunch was served. Matthew offered to push Alvin into the dining room, but Cali refused, insisting she was fine. He followed closely behind her just in case. He’d tried to keep his eyes off her perfectly formed backside, thinking that would be better. It was, but just barely.
Instead of her hips taunting him, it was that girlish ponytail. The way it brushed lightly across her neck with every time she took a step. And the more he watched, the more he wanted to brush his lips across that part of her.
Luckily, they reached their destination before he embarrassed himself. When they took their seats, he was directly across from her, thank goodness. He faced her everyday; he could make it through their dinner. After that, he’d excuse himself to go walk around the grounds. Maybe by then it would be time to leave.
His optimism was premature. Alvin had chosen prime rib for their lunch. Each time Cali dipped her steak into the sauce and placed it into her mouth, Matthew swallowed hard. He’d managed to keep his ogling silent until a little of the sauce dripped, missed her mouth, and threatened to slide down her chin. Cali’s tongue darted out to capture it, and all Matthew could think about was what her tongue had felt like inside his mouth. Matthew wasn’t able to completely suppress his groan.
Both Alvin and Cali glanced up from their meals to look at him. Alvin asked if he was okay, and Matthew managed to choke out a yes. But Cali saw that dark look in his eyes and gave him a mischievous smile.
Picking up another piece of meat, she dipped it into the sauce, soaking it, and brought the luscious meat up to her mouth. Before taking the bite, she slid her tongue out to lick the excess sauce dripping from her fork, taking the extra time to make sure she got every last drop.
