“Noise always carried the risk of discovery. Keeping quiet was learnt at a very young age, and, yes, there were times when a patrol found us.”
“What happened?”
Deep inside him, something flinched. A chill broke out across his skin. “You really don’t want to know, Kymora.” He couldn’t help the gruffness in his voice. The less she knew about his other half, the better.
She was quiet a moment, then her fingers tangled with his and squeezed. “You killed them?” Her voice was soft, gentle, and not at all accusatory.
Varian sat frozen as her question triggered brutal, painful memories. The sight of Na’Reish and Na’Chi locked together in combat.
The faint sound of war cries.
The raw prick of animal-like rage.
Of bodies littering the forest floor. Some with their throats slashed.
Their blood a stark contrast against the myriad greens.
The rich, iron odor of it assaulting his nostrils…
He and six other scouts had killed a full Na’Reish patrol who’d ventured too close to their hidden camp. That had been their first successful ambush, the first of many. Heart pounding hard beneath his ribs, he stole a quick glance at his hands to assure himself the hot stickiness of blood didn’t coat his skin. He grimaced, hating the vivid details that still haunted him almost as much as the actions he’d taken to survive.
He supposed it didn’t take much to connect the facts. Not when Kymora already knew the Na’Reish killed on sight those they considered a bloodborn disgrace, but he was sure Kalan would never share the gory stories of his battles with her, so neither would he. She should be sheltered from such harsh violence. Instead he clenched his teeth and remained silent.
“Lisella told me you all moved your location every couple of weeks. That must have been hard. I’ve lived in Sacred Lake all my life. My parents were Guild-traders so we lived in Bartertown.” Just like that, she changed the subject, and for that he was grateful. It gave him something to focus on other than his shortcomings. “When Kalan was appointed as the Lady’s Chosen, we shared the apartment he and Annika live in now. After I became Temple Elect, the Temple dormitory became my home.” Her tone grew wistful. “Sometimes I wish I’d been appointed as a Traveller.”
“What’s that?”
“A Handmaiden or Manservant who goes from village to town, ministering or teaching.” He heard the smile in her voice. “They get to see and experience so much of the world. Sometimes I wish I’d chosen a different path for my life.”
The ability to call one place home was something he’d longed for all his life. Living hand to mouth, driven to move every few weeks, every shelter just a place to eat, sleep, hide, never a home, always afraid of discovery, of being tracked and hunted down, then slaughtered. The differences between their lifestyles were stark, and the irony of each of them wanting what the other had didn’t escape him.
“As Temple Elect, don’t you oversee all the territory?”
“I instruct and oversee Her Servants.” Her head turned to one side. “Do you remember the Councilors’ shock when I announced that I would be living with you and the other Na’Chi?”
“I thought it was because of who we were.”
Kymora squeezed his hand. “Well, that might have been some of it,” she replied, dryly, “but mostly it’s because the Temple Elect’s responsibilities encompass everything within the walls of Sacred Lake. Travellers are appointed to cover everything else.”
No wonder her decision to live with them in the village had unsettled the Blade Council and the rest of the human race. Defying convention took a lot of courage, but then he already knew Kymora was a woman of strong convictions.
“Did Kalan and you ever expect this alliance to cause so much trouble?”
“You’re asking would I change what I’ve done if I’d known what would happen?” A small smile curved the edge of her mouth. “No. Not at all.”
His admiration and respect for her decision to stand firm increased. “Why not? It’s split your people. Now it’s Light Blade against Light Blade. Surely it’s not worth the strife this has caused you.”
Kymora made a small sound of protest. Turning in his hold, she laid a hand on his chest. “Do you think Hesia regrets what she went through to make sure the Na’Chi survived? And what about Kalan? Do you believe he regrets his imprisonment in the Na’Rei’s dungeon when it brought him and Annika together? Do you regret asking for sanctuary so your people could live a better life?”
Regret, no. His gaze strayed to the swelling and bruising on her jaw. With people being hurt by the dissension, it left him wondering if the price of the alliance was too high. “Hesia and Kalan saw their dreams reach fruition.”
“Not without a struggle. Nothing good is ever achieved without one. This alliance is worth that, Varian.”
“Kymora, the last time we visited Sacred Lake, your people hid in their houses and slammed their doors on us as we walked past. And unless we have a human with us in the markets, no one will trade with us. Surely you haven’t forgotten that?”
Despite Hesia’s dream, maybe there was no safe place for them to call home.
“Change is never easy, you know that,” she reminded him. “The Na’Chi will find acceptance and humans will come to realize the blessing the Lady has bestowed upon us.”
“A blessing?” He tried to regulate the amount of sarcasm in his tone and failed. Her faith reminded him so much of Hesia and Lisella. “You think the Na’Chi are a blessing?”
“Of course I do.” A frown marred her brow. “At a time when we most needed each other She brought you to us.”
He shook his head, astounded at her devotion to an unseen deity he refused to acknowledge. She hesitated a moment, probably having felt his negative response, indecision flashing across her features before she drew in a slow breath.
“Varian, She brought you to me. I can think of no greater gift than that.”
Chapter 5
AREK, look.” Lisella paused in helping him drag one of the slaughtered bleaters toward the trench he’d dug earlier. It already held several of the animals. Keeping his breath shallow to filter out the overwhelming stink of blood wasn’t easy when the animals weighed as much as a full-grown person. Twenty-three beasts dead. What a senseless waste.
Arek glanced up and she nodded to something over his shoulder. Turning, he squinted, then shielded his eyes against the dying rays of the sunset. He couldn’t quite make out the silhouette coming toward them across the field.
“It’s one of the scouts.” Lisella pushed a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail from her face. “Zaune, I think.”
Releasing the bleater and glad of the respite, he wiped his sleeve over his sweaty brow. “He went after the rebels and Kymora and Varian a little less than an hour ago.”
“Maybe he’s found something.”
“Good news would be welcome right about now.”
Lisella grunted in agreement. Arek lifted a hand in greeting as the young scout reached them. Violet eyes, calm and controlled, and the solemn aura surrounding the scout were usual. There were times he reminded Arek of what Varian might have been like at a younger age, the traits the two men exhibited were so similar.
“We’ve been unable to find the two rebels.” Short and to the point, very typical. “Their tracks disappeared near the lower end of the escarpment. Their scent remained strong for a short distance but then vanished.”
Arek cursed softly. Both Veren and Torant had to be experienced warriors to escape the detection of the Na’Chi. Kalan would need to know what had happened here as soon as possible.
“And what of Varian and Kymora?” he asked.
“We found Kymora’s staff at the edge of the village. At the cliff face, clear prints lead to the edge. Taybor and one of your warriors went farther downstream to cross where the river is shallower. They’re working their way back upstream on the opposite bank. Naylan and I will stay on this side. If we find not
hing, we’ll assume they drifted farther downstream. We’ll keep searching. I just thought you should know about the renegades so you can post guards tonight.”
Arek nodded.
“Zaune, before you head back out, call in at the village.” Lisella’s smile took the edge off the tension they were all feeling. “Barvi should have put together a small pack of food and water for you from the meal we were supposed to be celebrating with this evening. No sense in going hungry when we have all that food to spare.”
“I was looking forward to some honey bread….” Gratitude lit the scout’s face. “Thanks, Lisella.”
Arek watched Zaune head for the village. While steady, his gait was heavy. The younger man was tired, not that he’d ever admit to it. Merciful Mother, they all were. The events of the day were enough to age anyone a decade.
Weariness crept deeper into his soul as he considered all the things that needed to be done. Thankfully, burying the dead livestock was almost complete. The charred huts were unsafe and needed to be knocked down. A last check on the burned crops had to be done to make sure all the embers were out. The missing Na’Chi lookouts were yet to be found. A message informing Kalan of what had happened needed to be sent. And those were the most urgent tasks on his mental list. Arek let out a sharp breath.
Lisella’s small hand grasped his and squeezed. Surprised, he glanced at her to find her observing him as intently as he’d been watching Zaune.
“We’ll take it one hour at a time, Light Blade. That’s all we can do.” Her quiet words bolstered his weary confidence. “Lady willing, we’ll all find solace and peace in a night’s worth of sleep once the chores are done.”
“Amen to that,” he murmured.
BENEATH her hand, Kymora felt Varian still, even his breathing stopped. The crackling of the flames consuming the wood in the fire seemed amplified in the silence that stretched between them. Had her admission shocked him?
Her heart ached at the scorn and contempt in his voice when he’d refuted her claim that the Na’Chi were a blessing. His aversion to religion made for some awkward moments, but most times with her he’d kept such conversations light, often giving her more latitude when it came to remonstrating him for his behavior. She wasn’t sure why he allowed that. Perhaps this time he’d lost patience.
Giving him a more personal slant had been the right thing to do. Deep down she knew it, even if she’d erred in her timing. Ready to accept whatever his response might be, she lifted her chin. Her insides quivered as she struggled to keep her anxiety from showing on her face.
“How am I a blessing?” Varian asked.
Derision coated every word, the timbre of his voice harsh, but beneath it she detected the smallest quaver of hope. Against her fingertips, his heart pounded in his chest. Hers beat just as hard and fast as she tried to decide how to best answer his question. She exhaled, slowly and deeply.
You’re my friend hovered on her lips. She shook her head. Too shallow. He was a friend, but the connection between them was deepening. Other explanations flitted through her mind. None of those were appropriate, either. He deserved more than platitudes.
Walk the path you start and discover the reward you seek at the end.
The passage of scripture surfaced amidst her thoughts. Lady of Light, how many times had she advised petitioners to speak the truth in their hearts when faced with a difficult situation?
But should she? Her friendship with Varian was evolving; into what, she wasn’t sure. Certainly there was a growing empathy and respect for each another; it’d been there from their first meeting in the Temple. Now her feelings for him were becoming more complex, more profound, more sensual in nature.
A small spark of excitement flared in her stomach. Was this the reason for her Fourth Journey? Many of her previous Journeys had focused on events in her life as the Temple Elect, so when the Lady had warned her to prepare for a change, she’d assumed this latest one would relate to it, too.
Kymora reached for her amulet. She traced the wavy lines of the sun symbol. What if this Journey turned out to be more intimate in nature? What if her attraction to Varian resulted in something more than friendship?
Should that happen, her actions would have wider implications beyond what unfolded between them. Her role as Temple Elect was so interwoven with her personal life, and vice versa, that sometimes separating the two wasn’t possible.
Deep inside her, resentment flared.
As a young acolyte, she’d taken on the position in ignorance. Time had shown her the delicate and often difficult juggling act that accompanied her role. Mother forgive her, but it proved a burden she still struggled with.
“Handmaiden, your Fourth Journey begins soon. Don’t be afraid to take the path I’ve chosen for you.”
The Lady had spoken those words to her just before she’d met Varian and he’d asked for sanctuary on behalf of the Na’Chi. Very rarely did She speak to a Handmaiden or Servant about their future. At the time, she’d believed the Lady had been warning her about the existence of the Na’Chi, certainly an unprecedented circumstance in human history.
Had She been preparing her for this more personal experience instead? Kymora worried the edge of the amulet with her fingertips. Just once she wished she could make a decision based purely on what she wanted and not have to worry about how it would affect everyone else, yet in good conscience she couldn’t. Could she?
Frustration burned in her stomach. Lady help her, indecisiveness and hesitancy were so unlike her. Lips thinning, she dropped her amulet and lifted her head in Varian’s direction. For the first time, she was going to heed her heart. Taking a deep breath, she prayed her choice would be the right one.
Only one question remained: Was Varian ready to hear what she had to say? Unease churned in her stomach like a meal of spoiled stew, but Kymora dug deep for the courage to share her truths.
“Do you remember the first time we met?” she asked.
“Yes, in the Temple, you were praying at the altar after your duties for the day were concluded.” Varian’s tone was cautious, as if he was wondering what direction their conversation would take.
“I was unprepared for your swift attack. Pinning me to the wall frightened me.”
Varian cleared his throat. “I’m not proud of how I handled that situation.”
“I’m not berating you, just making a point.” A small smile curved her lips at the memory. “You could have retaliated when I struck out at you. Instead you used your strength to contain the blows. You threatened me with words, you threatened my life with a knife in the Council chamber when the warriors drew their weapons, but not once did you ever follow through or hurt me.”
“I’m a blessing because I threatened but didn’t hurt you?”
She poked his chest at his obtuse statement, too aware of the warmth of his bare skin under her fingertip. It was a strange conversation to be having while sitting naked on the floor of a cave.
“I’m not finished. Just listen to what I have to say without interrupting.” A grunt was his only response. “I’ve talked to Lisella, Zaune, some of the other scouts…. They’ve told me how you spent days looking for another safe place for them to live so the Na’Reish wouldn’t discover you, about how hard you drove yourself and pushed them when you fled Na’Reish territory, following Annika and Kalan to Sacred Lake.
“I’ve listened to you play with the children, teach them to hide and track, instruct and discipline them when they argue. In meetings your opinions are measured, logical, sometimes impassioned, but not once have I witnessed a careless response.
“My point to all this—” A part of her registered the hard slab of muscle beneath her palm as she spread her fingers across his chest. She’d expected to feel a soft mat of hair, but his skin was bare and smooth. Another trait shared with the Na’Reish. Blinking, it took a moment to recall what she’d been saying. “Looking from the outside in, I see a compassionate man who knows the meaning of honor and duty, a protector w
ith a generous soul.”
“I’m not a saint….” His hard-edged reply came as no surprise.
She shook her head. “I know that. You’re surly, abrupt, antisocial most days, you speak your mind so plainly sometimes it offends. You’re hard on your scouts, you demand the best from them, you drive them into giving more than they believe possible, you’re sparing in your compliments….” Beneath her hand his muscles tightened. Knowing her point was made, she halted her catalogue of flaws.
Trailing her fingers from his chest to his shoulder, she searched for and found the raised Na’Chi markings along the side of his neck. They continued up the side of his face, curved over his brow and into his hairline, the spots varied in size and shape, a pattern unique to each Na’Chi. The tactile sensation of them thrilled her, made her wish she could spend more time exploring all the places they adorned his body.
“These don’t interfere with my getting to know someone, not like everyone else,” she stated, unable to hide the huskiness of her voice. “I sense your heart. It’s in your voice, against my skin; I analyze your actions and words.”
She took another deep breath, her stomach churning as if she stood on the edge of the escarpment again ready to jump into the river, wondering at the wisdom of sharing all her truths with him.
With a swift prayer to the Lady, she leapt.
“Varian, it’s what attracts me to you. Other than my brother, you’re the only person who sees me as Kymora. Not the Temple Elect, the Lady’s Handmaiden, or the blind priestess.
“You might call me those names, but they don’t mean the same thing to you as they do to others.” Her mouth twisted into a rueful smile. “Do you realize how much of a blessing that is?”
He didn’t respond to her humor. As the silence between them lengthened, the aching hollow deep in her gut gnawed at her courage like a scurrier consumed carrion. Ducking her head, she withdrew her fingers from his hair and curled them in her lap.
Heat rushed to her cheeks and spread to the tips of her ears. Merciful Mother, had she just made a huge error in judgment?
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