by Faith Hogan
‘Yes, if she recovers. It’s back to waiting, I’m afraid.’ He scribbled something illegibile on the chart he carried. ‘You might all want to go home for a couple of hours. It will be that at least before she’s back in ICU. Then you can drop by and see her.’
‘So we can’t see her until she’s…’ Evie seemed even more vulnerable now.
‘No, we’ll be keeping her in isolation for a while, close to theatre, just in case…’ He didn’t need to finish off the sentence.
‘That’s fine,’ Grace said and Annalise wondered if she’d even taken in the news. ‘I’m going down to the see the baby.’ She glimpsed the fearful emptiness that had opened up in Evie.
*
Annalise drove back to her house in the kind of stunned silence that makes the journey go by but you don’t actually remember driving home. It felt like the middle of the night, but of course, outside their little world, life was carrying on. Behind Dublin curtains, people were topping their boiled eggs and drinking their morning cuppa. Annalise glanced at her watch. She was missing the boys, feeling guilty because she hadn’t put them to bed or been there when they woke. Grace insisted she was staying with the baby. Fatigue etched grey pallor into Evie’s skin, her eyes sunk deep with worry, but there was no budging her either. Annalise rang Madeline to tell her she was home and to fill her in on the night that had passed.
‘I’m coming over,’ Madeline said at once; she was just leaving the nursery having dropped the boys in for the day.
‘Really, Mum, there’s no need.’ She should probably sleep if she could, until it was time to collect the boys.
‘Annalise, there’s every need. You’re not strong enough for this.’
‘Mum,’ Annalise sighed. All her life, Madeline had made things better for her. Annalise knew it was time for her to grow up. ‘Seriously, Mum, I’m fine. I’m going to jump into the shower, sleep for an hour or two before I pick up the boys and then spend the evening with them.’
‘Really, Annalise, I’ll fetch the boys. There’s no need for you to…’
‘There’s every need.’ Annalise and Madeline never fought, but something close to steel entered Annalise’s voice. ‘I know you’re trying to help, Mum, but really, I want to spend a few hours with the boys. Then, maybe later, if you’re up for it, I’ll drop the boys over to you before I head back to the hospital. Is that all right?’ She softened her voice.
‘Of course, dear, I’m only trying to help.’ Madeline sounded a little deflated.
‘Mum, I know that. You’ve always spoiled me far too much, but I have to start standing on my own two feet,’ Annalise whispered. ‘I love you, but just as you want to do as much as you can for me, I want to do the same for my boys.’
‘Oh darling, I’m so proud of you. I understand, and really I’m glad. It’s just different, that’s all.’ Madeline’s voice was more gentle now.
‘It’ll be a good kind of different, I promise.’
‘You used to need me more…’ Madeline’s voice petered off. She had been emotional over the boys’ recent zealous haircuts, and the fact that Annalise hadn’t phoned her to sort them out. It was strange to hear this new independent and competent Annalise. ‘I suppose I should be glad.’
‘I still need you, Mum.’ Annalise could feel a wobbly laugh bubbling in her throat. It had been a draining twenty-four hours. ‘Not that I mind sharing you with the boys, but I suppose, I want to keep you as my mum, and they get to have you as their grandmother.’
‘You know I’m too young to be called that.’ Madeline’s voice was full of emotion, but Annalise wasn’t going to let her get away with that one anymore. It wasn’t healthy for the boys to have a mum and a second back-up mum waiting in the wings when Annalise couldn’t, or wouldn’t, cope with whatever disaster had unfolded around her.
‘I wouldn’t call you it, not in public, not in a million years… well, maybe then.’ They both laughed.
*
Annalise never had trouble sleeping. If anything, it was the opposite for her. The darkness of the room and the quiet of the house insulated her so she slept soundly until the alarm went off a few hours later. It wasn’t much; it hardly made up for the night spent on the hospital chair, but it was enough to get by with. There had been no calls. A hopeful sign. Annalise made her way into the kitchen and switched on the news – her latest ‘thing’. These days, she regarded the daily bulletin as educational, preparation for conversation with people who worked in media as opposed to fashion. She hoped it focused her interest in the wider world as opposed to her former self-absorption.
When the phone rang, the sound almost made her jump. Expecting only one call, remembering the expression of the consultant who’d spoken to them earlier in the day, she answered sombrely.
‘Hey,’ Jake sounded light, buoyant, untroubled.
‘Hey.’ She knew her voice was flat. She’d have to tell him about Kasia anyway.
‘What’s up? I’m ringing with good news, but you sound as if… I don’t know what?’
‘Give me the good news first,’ she managed.
‘We’ve had an offer.’ He almost sang the words. ‘And not just one offer, we’ve had four, concrete offers, from four different channels!’
‘Well done, you.’ She tried to sound enthusiastic and on any other day she knew she’d be jumping about doing a dance.
‘We’d put it out and wanted it to go to either of the nationals, but it seems the fact that we have a former Miss Ireland on board, and because of the election results in the US and the northern question, it’s picked up interest with the British newscasters, so UTV and BBC are interested too.’
‘That’s great, Jake, really great.’ She knew her voice didn’t sound as excited as she should have been.
‘Whoa, your news must be worse than a broken nail, then?’
‘Broken nails don’t get me down like they used to.’ She managed to smile. ‘No, it’s Kasia.’ She told Jake about what had happened. ‘I should have called you earlier, but it’s been very…’ He was very fond of Kasia. She was the common denominator between them, after all.
‘I’m going over there this minute.’ Jake exuded the kind of strength that made you feel safe. Not babied, not like Paul, but then again Annalise had started to wonder how real that had been anyway. She had a feeling with Jake it was real.
‘They won’t let you in.’
‘Then I’ll stand in a corridor until they do.’
*
The boys covered her in kisses when she picked them up a little later. It made Annalise even more emotional, imagining that Kasia might never get to pick up her little girl. At home, they played in the garden until the light faded and it was time for dinner. Then it was a race to the bath and a splash session where Annalise ended up as wet as them. They tumbled into bed after two Mr Men stories. Annalise bent to kiss their sweet noses, hovered for a moment over each, breathing in their freshly washed scent.
‘Will we live happily ever after?’ Dylan asked her and she looked into his round wondering eyes.
‘I think we will, Dylan.’ She thought of Kasia, and her baby fighting for a chance at a happy ever after. ‘I think we are very lucky. We have all we need to be happy.’
‘What’s that?’ Dylan asked, maybe expecting her to say baked Alaska, Santa at Christmas or a brand new football.
‘We have each other.’ She said the words simply and knew them to be true.
‘Mummy, will we always be together?’
‘Always.’ She bent down and kissed him softly on his short hair, couldn’t imagine feeling more love for anyone alive than she did for these two.
Madeline arrived at eight thirty and Annalise hugged her before she left for the hospital. She hadn’t hit the end of the road when her phone buzzed. It was Grace. Annalise felt the tears leave her eyes as Grace told her about Kasia. She cried all the way to the hospital.
*
They were tears of relief. It was a miracle. Kasia was propped up agains
t firm pillows. The bruising was even worse, but they were almost used to it now; maybe it didn’t matter so much now they knew she was going to be okay. ‘You look pretty impressive, Kasia,’ kidded Annalise.
‘They have picked up Vasile?’ Kasia asked. Her terror was evident in her eyes.
‘So it was him?’ Annalise asked.
‘Yes, it was Vasile. He was mad, crazy mad when he came into the bakery. But he didn’t realize when he came looking for me that I was having the baby.’ A single tear travelled slowly down Kasia’s cheek. ‘I told him it was Paul’s.’ Her eyes were vast contrite pools as they searched Evie’s face. ‘That was wrong, it was a lie, but I thought it would be safer for the baby.’ Kasia was too emotional to notice the glances exchanged between Annalise and Grace. ‘I thought he’d think of me as damaged goods, used by another man, and leave me alone.’ She tried to shrug her shoulders but the movement caused her pain. ‘But it was worse to say that. He will kill me now.’
‘He will do no such thing.’ Grace’s words were angry. ‘He’s going to jail. We’ll all make sure of that.’ She shook her head. ‘Kasia, you have to do this; it’s the only way to be rid of him.’
‘She’s right,’ Evie said the words gently. She was almost back to herself – the alteration had occurred as quickly as Kasia recovered. ‘We will stand by you, it’ll be fine. Let him think that Paul is the baby’s father. It makes no difference to Paul anymore.’
‘Absolutely, she’s going to be like another sibling for Delilah, Jerome and Dylan anyway. The least Paul can do is give her his name.’ Grace said. Annalise hadn’t realised Grace was such a baby person, but she hardly let the little one out of her arms any chance she got.
‘You don’t understand. He will want to kill me if he learns that I’ve reported him to the police.’
‘You didn’t report him, Kasia. I did,’ Grace said defiantly, ‘and if he crosses me, he’ll know all about it. Vasile is going to jail for a very long time and I intend to make sure he does. Even if you don’t want to make a complaint, the injuries he’s caused are going to mean that no one is letting this go. The CCTV in the bakery and on the street outside will do the job for us. He’s mad if he thinks he’ll get away with this.’
‘You don’t understand Vasile. He is not like anyone else. He is crazy and he will do anything to make sure he is the one who wins.’ Fear dampened her voice to a whisper.
‘Well, the only winning he’ll be doing any time soon is maybe a card game in jail,’ Evie said. With that, there was a knock on the door.
‘Hi.’ Jake stuck his head into the room. ‘They said I couldn’t bring in flowers.’ He gasped when he looked at Kasia.
‘You should see the other guy.’ Kasia grinned. Jake caught Grace’s eye, and there was just a flicker, enough to lift Annalise’s heart. She had a feeling they’d be seeing more of Jake, even if they weren’t filming out in Carlinville.
‘Oh, we haven’t even started on him yet,’ Evie said and there was an unmistakable confidence in her voice.
‘I just wanted to see you’re all right, Kasia?’
‘You’re a little late coming to my rescue this time, but it’s nice to see you, Jake,’ Kasia managed from the bed.
‘That’s me, always looking for a damsel in distress to rescue.’ He closed the door gently behind him and took a seat. ‘Congratulations,’ he hardly whispered. ‘She’s lovely; I came by the baby unit. Grace pointed her out to me. Have you a name yet?’
‘Oh, yes. I’ve had the name picked for months. I’m calling her Eve.’ Kasia smiled through her bruises and Evie’s eyes filled with tears.
*
There was a time, not so long ago, when it would have bothered Annalise that Kate Dalton saw her looking so rough. Today that all seemed so trivial, and when she looked at Kate, she had a feeling that she felt the same too.
‘I’m so sorry about Paul,’ she said and Annalise could see she meant it. ‘I couldn’t go to the funeral, you probably heard my own marriage…’
‘I’m sorry, I did hear.’ It had been in all the papers. Des Dalton had been carrying on with a rakish-looking groom right under Kate’s perfect button nose. When she read it, Annalise hadn’t really thought about Kate, but she’d thought about Nicola.
‘Yes, well everyone did, didn’t they? I can thank Gail Rosenstock for the extensive media coverage.’ Her voice was bitter, but Annalise couldn’t blame her, the press had done a hatchet job on her and they’d even managed a few swipes at her little girl. ‘Then again, she’s thrown you to the wolves a couple of times too.’ She shook her head, ‘It’s a vile business.’
‘I don’t understand; she’s thrown me to the wolves?’
‘Oh darling, that’s just why everyone loves you.’ Her voice was kind, ‘You never see the bad in people. Gail has been sabotaging your career since the first day she took you on her books.’
‘But she’s kept me there all this time.’ Annalise didn’t understand. ‘What do you mean, sabotaging?’
They were moving together towards the exit door of the hospital; Kate stopped automatically to use the hand disinfectant – she was here far too often, Annalise thought sadly.
‘Don’t you get it? You’ve been easy press fodder for her. When one of her girls was shagging half the country and she wouldn’t behave, she sold your demise to the press in return for them keeping quiet on the junior minister’s girlfriend.’
‘Susan Lynsey?’
‘Of course, Susan Lynsey; she’s the real earner for Gail. Susan is paying the rent for both of them.’ She took a deep breath – there was more. ‘Then a couple of months ago, Susan was rumoured to be getting the push from Miu Miu. The gossip was one of the tabloids had a story about her blackmailing that drippy boyfriend she had all those years ago. You can’t have presidential ambitions and a closet of dirty secrets, can you? Of course, they had no evidence. Gail threatened to sue and when that got her nowhere, she gave them you. Tragic Miss Ireland, dumb and blonde, lost her husband but still has time to shop?’
‘That was Gail? Gail organized the photographer?’ Of course, Gail was the only person who knew she was going there that day. She’d played into her hands all these years. Annalise thought she might be sick; she stumbled backwards then steadied herself. She was empty after the last few days worrying about Kasia – this just felt like the feather capable of knocking her over.
‘Easy, come on.’ Kate put out a hand to steady her. ‘This can’t be news to you, not really. I mean, surely you guessed. Never anything good leaked. They were always making you look bad. The press really aren’t that vicious, mostly they write what they’re fed. I should know; I’m in the game now.’ They walked towards the car park in silence, their footsteps ringing out the words that had fallen between them for so long. Could they have been friends? Probably not, but Annalise had a feeling that Kate was a better person than she gave her credit for all these years.
‘All this time, Susan Lynsey?’ Annalise said when they came to Kate’s smart coupé. ‘I’m glad you told me.’ It was beginning to make sense; in some strange way it felt as if it was exactly what she needed to know.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t say it years ago. You could have been the best model to come out of Dublin, if you got a decent chance.’ Kate was getting into her car, moving on to the next piece of business for the day.
‘How’s Nicola doing, you know, after the separation?’ Annalise had to ask. There was something about the child, something delicate and entrancing.
‘She’s actually doing so much better than I thought,’ Kate smiled. ‘She just makes everything worthwhile, you know?’
‘I know.’ Annalise felt the same about her own boys. She waved Kate off and headed for the jeep, pulling out her phone as she walked. She dialled the number – it was one of the few she knew by heart.
‘Hello, Gail?’ she didn’t wait for her agent to answer. ‘Just ringing to let you know: you’re fired. Go fall off a catwalk for yourself.’
*
Although Kasia made a good recovery, they spent the first few days between her bed in ICU and the baby unit. Annalise still didn’t like the baby unit and that surprised her; she’d always thought, in her own disconnected way, that anywhere there were babies, she’d be happy. The truth was, the buzzers made her a nervous wreck and the nurses made her feel as if she was in their way. Still, she went there – how could she not? Kasia’s baby was divine. In a matter of hours, Annalise thought she could see her growing stronger and more beautiful. Now she was practically like a full term baby, with long limbs, her mother’s dark hair and a habit of holding her mouth that convinced you she was smiling at you.
‘The sooner I get out of here, the sooner they will let me hold her,’ Kasia said as she linked Annalise towards the nurse’s station.
‘I’ve told you a hundred times, I can’t move you onto the maternity ward.’ The nursing sister observed her from above narrow reading glasses; her glare did not match the kindness behind her eyes.
‘I understand your speaking, but soon you’ll have no option but to throw me out and make way for someone who really needs to be in here.’ Kasia smiled at her. It was five days since she’d regained consciousness. She was out of danger, but her only visits to the baby unit were in the evening. They insisted she travel on a patient trolley, so she was dependant on getting orderlies to bring her. ‘At least, you can tell them that my friends are very responsible and they will take care of me if you let me go down in a wheelchair?’
‘No. Not possible. My, you are hard work.’ The nurse sniffed at Kasia, blowing an exasperated sigh, before finally conceding. ‘Okay, but—’ she warned Annalise sternly, ‘you need to get her back here within half an hour. If I have to send one of my nurses looking for the pair of you, I’ll be tying you to the bed next time.’ Her smile was wide; she’d give them a ten-minute leeway on the time.
‘Thank you, Sister.’
Maybe Annalise had grown accustomed to how badly beaten Kasia was. Certainly, on the short walk along the corridors, she registered the looks of people they passed who flinched at the damage the injuries had caused. Kasia’s face was still a patchwork of bruising and swelling. She’d lost one tooth, cracked ribs and had fractured toes and fingers. Grace photographed her from all sides for the court case to come.
