There was nothing Luc could do but stroke her hair and hold her. He’d never felt so impotent in his life. Or so furious. “What did the police have to say?”
She shook her head. “Kevin didn’t call them. He didn’t want to put me all through that, telling strangers about what had happened. Being cross-examined by someone Jack would pay to twist everything back to me. It was all moot, anyway. Jack disappeared right after that. Nobody ever knew what happened to him. Everybody talked about what a great guy he was and that they couldn’t understand what made him take off.” Her head resting against Luc’s shoulder, she blew out a shaky breath. “I thought it was my fault. What he did, his leaving. All of it. My fault.”
That was ridiculous. Luc bit back the retort. Instead, he kept his voice calm, mild, all the while empathizing with the rage Kevin must have felt. “How could it have been your fault that that worthless scum molested you?”
She closed her eyes, remembering with a clarity that was almost frightening every single feeling she’d experienced. “Because if I hadn’t been there—”
He raised her chin until she opened her eyes and looked at him.
“He would have preyed on another little girl. Those kind of people are sick, Alison, no matter how nice they seem to be. They’re like those shiny red apples that are rotten inside when you bite into them. Nobody suspects anything until they go beneath the top layer.”
“Maybe,” she allowed.
“Maybe nothing. You weren’t to blame. Aren’t to blame,” he emphasized fiercely, then lowered his voice. “Did you ever tell your husband?”
That, too, was her fault. “No.”
“Didn’t he suspect anything was wrong?” He couldn’t see how the man could have possibly remained in the dark, not when he himself had suspected something was wrong almost from the start.
There was a sad smile on her lips. “When I wouldn’t have sex with him while we were still going together, I told him I was saving myself for the right guy. He was thrilled that it was him. He wasn’t so thrilled afterward, though. He thought I was using sex as some kind of a bargaining chip. He lost patience with me pretty fast. Told me I was frigid, that there was something wrong with me. I shouldn’t have married him.”
“Why did you?” he asked softly.
At the time her reasoning had seemed right. It was only now that she saw how flawed it had been. “To prove to myself that I was all right. That I could move on. I thought that if I was married, those dreams wouldn’t haunt me anymore.” Another miscalculation. “They just got worse.”
“Dreams?”
“Of Uncle Jack.” She shuddered even as she said it. “Of his hands reaching out for me, or his breath surrounding me. He smoked. To this day, I smell a cigarette, I start to choke.” She looked down. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to be hearing this.”
He wasn’t going to have her turning away from him. Not after she’d just shared her darkest secret with him. “But I do. How can I help if I don’t know?”
She turned into the safety his arms provided. “And how are you going to help?”
“By being there when you feel you need someone. By being there even when you don’t.” He looked into her eyes, silently making a pledge to her. “By doing whatever you need to get you through the night.”
And then he kissed her.
Chapter Fifteen
This time there was nothing to hide behind. No excuses, no false courage to take the fall for what she felt.
This time, as she felt the pull that Luc’s touch along her body generated, felt the yearning begin within her, there was nothing to protect her. Nothing to point to and blame her actions on.
The desire was of her own making.
As was the passion.
Alison knew what awaited her, and even though her fear of the devastating fear still hovered somewhere just beyond, it was not as deep, not as thick, not as solid as before. A glimmer of white light shone through it, showing her the way. Whispering promises of salvation.
He deepened the kiss. She felt his tongue touch hers, felt his arms tighten around her as he brought her even closer.
A euphoria overtook her, too large to be ignored, too wide to be contained. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned her body into his, absorbing the warm, comforting feel of it.
Absorbing it and reveling in it.
She was like sunlight in his hands, like moonbeams and dreams. He couldn’t quite believe that it was happening twice.
There was a difference to her this time from the last. This time, there was no wild push to reach journey’s end; she seemed to be savoring the steps it took to get there. Luc felt his heart swelling, quickening. He wanted to give her the moon, to give her every pleasure ever created beneath it.
Slowly the layers peeled away. Layers of clothing, layers of protection that kept them safe from the world. Insulated from one another.
Neither one of them wanted to be safe tonight, unless it was with the other.
He didn’t ask her this time if she was sure. He knew—sensed—she was. This time there was no part of him that stood back, waiting for a sign that she wanted to pull away, that she was regretting what she’d allowed to begin. There were no shackles, no checks. All there was was a purity of yearning. Of innocence revisited, because, despite everything, she was innocent in what a man and a woman could do when heaven and earth were right.
He wanted to show her how it could be. To pleasure her and to leave her with feelings that were strong enough, stirring enough, to block out all of the bad that had happened to her. Block it out as if it had never happened at all.
He made love not only with her, but to her. To every part of her, however small.
He kissed her fingertips, drawing them one by one slowly into his mouth until he heard her whimper with desire, with anticipation. He pressed a kiss to each palm, to her arms, to the expanse above her breasts, circling each slowly so that he tantalized her and tortured himself before his tongue finally touched each peak. Moistening. Suckling.
Making sensations scramble helter-skelter through her, bouncing here, there. Everywhere.
Alison arched against his mouth, freely giving herself up to him, to the pleasures that were battering so urgently at every part of her. She grasped the blankets beneath her as his mouth went lower, laying claim first to her belly, then christening the path that led him further on his quest.
When his tongue came in contact with the very core of her, she bit down hard to keep from crying out. The cry echoed within her body instead.
And then, when the first of the climaxes hit, she spiraled completely up to another level. Damp with perspiration, she could only cleave to a hope that there was more. A greediness overtook her.
She couldn’t get her fill of him.
She’d never known it could be like this. Never suspected that she was capable of feeling these sort of sensations, and be filled with a desire to give back at least a small measure of what she was experiencing. She wanted him to feel as insanely happy as she was right at this moment.
There was a unity here, a unity that took her breath away and made her want to sing and sob with joy at the same time.
Her breath coming in short, shallow snatches, Alison caught hold of his shoulders, urging him up to her, wanting to see his eyes, touch his face.
Wanting him.
The first time had been wonderful, but this, this broke through a door, destroying its locks, bending its hinges so that it could never again be closed.
Never again close off the light and keep it from reaching her again.
He’d set her free.
Luc felt as if his heart had stopped. There were tears in her eyes. Had he hurt her? Had he done something after all that brought all those terrible memories back to her?
“Alison…”
“Shh.”
She placed the tips of her fingers to his lips, silencing him. This wasn’t the time for words, only feelings. Only actions.
And t
hen, because he wasn’t expecting it, she managed to rise and twist so that she switched places with him. He became the one on his back, he was the one under sensual assault as she at first timidly, and then with more and more surety, put into practice what he had taught her.
How to make love.
Arrows tipped in fire shot through him, searing him wherever her tongue touched him. Nearly sending him over the brink.
The feel of her lips—eager, curved, sensual—rained fleeting openmouthed kisses over his hardened torso, quickening his pulse throughout all the points where it beat. Making him crazy.
Making him desire her beyond a point where all rational thoughts converged.
It would have taken a stronger man than he to resist, to hold back indefinitely. Feeling the pressure, the demands of his weakening body, he took hold of her shoulders and gently drew her back to him.
He was stopping her. Her lips were throbbing, her eyes not quite able to focus as she looked at him. Had she done it wrong? “Don’t you like it?”
“That’s just the trouble,” he breathed. “I like it too much.”
His lips crushed against hers as Luc tightened his arms around her, holding her to him, kissing her to a state of senselessness as he reversed their positions.
And then he entered her. Entered before the explosion that was threatening to unleash racked his body. Using the last of his control, he began the rhythm slowly. But the urgency that had shadowed their every movement was here, as well, and strong. The final pleasure was not long in coming.
It held him tightly in its grip before allowing him to slowly regain his foothold on earth. Contentment circled around him like papal white smoke, signifying peace and a new beginning.
He loved her.
Like words written across the sky, riding on a lightning bolt, it came to him.
He loved her.
In keeping his feelings safe within this charade, he’d been free to let them come. To grow. He’d allowed himself to pretend to go through the motions of everything he longed for. He played the part with conviction—until the player had become lost in the role and the lines between reality and make-believe had become completely blurred.
Reality had superseded make-believe.
He loved her and he hadn’t a clue what to do about it. Because the last time he’d loved, it had been snatched away from him, leaving him standing with nothing but his heart in his hands. Empty.
He didn’t want that happening again, didn’t want that feeling to become part of his life again.
He loved her.
He wasn’t going to think about that now, Luc told himself. For now it was enough just to hold her in his arms, to breathe in the scent of her and know that she was his for this space of time. It was more than he had a right to ask.
The warmth around her didn’t abate, even after the contentment of lovemaking had faded into a cottony presence. She wanted to thank him for making the shadows go away. Wanted to tell him just how grateful she was for this liberation he’d provided.
She wanted to tell him how he made her feel. That he made her feel. And there was such a wealth of feelings within her. Especially happiness. It ricocheted through her like a specially crafted ball that went to unimaginable heights with each bounce.
But she knew how he’d felt about Janice, knew that Luc wasn’t looking to be entangled with anyone. To tell him would be to take the magic away from both of them and bring only emptiness.
So she remained lying next to him, content to be held by this man who had liberated her. Content to feel his steady breath along her skin and to let the night, such as it was, come.
Because she wasn’t afraid anymore. He was with her and she couldn’t ask for more than that.
She was gone.
The place beside him was empty. Cool to the touch when he reached for her. Just like the first morning after he’d spent with her. His eyes flew open even as the thought penetrated.
Memories of another time, another empty bed, came flooding back to him.
“Alison?” he called. Not waiting for a reply, he got up and quickly pulled on his jeans. He ignored his shoes. “Alison?”
There was no answer. It was unreasonable, but he couldn’t shake the concern that was gripping his heart. He hurried out into the hall. “Alison?”
Jacob opened the door of the room he was sharing with Janice. Confused, he looked at Luc, bleary-eyed. “Who’s Alison?”
Distracted, telling himself that this wasn’t déjà vu and that he had nothing to worry about, Luc turned toward Jacob. Explanations that were nothing more than coated lies came to his tongue, but then he thought better of them. The time for lies had passed.
“Jake, I’ve got something to tell you.”
Jacob sat at the kitchen table, nursing the mug of inky black coffee Luc had poured for him. Some of it was already in his veins so that he was able to comprehend what was being said to him.
Hearing Luc out, he could only shake his head. “Well, if she’s not your wife, then what the hell are you waiting for?”
The question had nothing to do with the confession he’d just given him. Luc had expected humor, or even a question as to why he’d felt the deception necessary to undertake. He set down his own empty mug on the counter and picked up the pot of freshly brewed coffee. He was still trying to set his fears to rest.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, ask her to marry you.” Jacob saw the startled look on Luc’s face and couldn’t believe the thought hadn’t crossed his friend’s mind. “Any woman who’d follow you up to this godforsaken wilderness—and you know it is, for the most part—and then pretend to be your wife just so that you could supposedly save face, well, it has to mean she cares about you. Marry the woman already.”
Luc sighed. Jacob always had a habit of plowing into the center of things without regards to the perimeters. “It’s not that simple.” He poured the coffee, then took a drink. “There’re complications.”
Jacob pushed his mug forward on the counter, silently asking for it to be topped off. “Get rid of them.”
Luc laughed shortly as he did the honors. Same old Jacob. “Easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, easy, because I live by it.” He raised his mug in a silent toast to the edict that had governed most of his adult life. “I want something, I find a way to get it. I’m hell to live with until I do. Ask Janice.” He took a long swig of his coffee. “The way I see it, the woman loves you.”
Maybe he had even nurtured that hope himself, but hearing it said out loud showed Luc how ludicrous that thought was. Especially in light of what she had told him last night. She was afraid to love.
So what was last night about?
He waved a hand at Jacob. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“None so blind as those who refuse to see,” he murmured. “As for me, I’ve got eyes, don’t I? I see the way that woman looks at you. With affection—and something more.” He paused, wrestling with the wisdom of what he wanted to say. Deciding it was for the best, he forged ahead. “Janice never looked at you like that, you know.” He saw the surprise in Luc’s eyes and nodded. “Yes, I used to watch the two of you, too. She was the one thing I never went out for—until I was sure I wasn’t breaking the two of you up.”
Luc leaned across the counter. This was something he hadn’t realized before. “But you were in love with her.”
“From the third grade.” He grinned, finishing his coffee. “I’ve got a sense about these things. Just like I have a sense about you and—what’s her name, Alison?” Luc nodded. “Pretty name. Prettier girl. Want my advice, put your marker down, Jean-Luc, before one of those scruffy miners beats you to it. Gold doesn’t get passed up around here. And that woman’s pure gold.”
He’d never been a coward about anything before. This wouldn’t be the time to start, Luc told himself. He finished his own coffee before answering. “First I’ve got to find her.”
No-brainer, Jacob th
ought. “She’s probably at work. She said something to Janice yesterday about feeling guilty, leaving all those files piling up at the clinic.” He smiled in admiration. “She’s got a powerful work ethic. If I wasn’t already married, I’d go after her myself.”
“Oh, no, not this time.”
It was a joke, but Jacob didn’t kid himself. There was an underlying steel wire of truth in the warning. “Don’t worry. Janice and I have our ups and downs, but as far as I can tell, we’re perfect for each other. Just like you and Suzanne—I mean Alison.”
The sudden pounding on the front door interrupted anything further that could have been said.
Considering her lack of sleep, she was incredibly energetic.
She’d hardly slept at all.
Alison had felt too wired, too happy to fall asleep last night. It had been all she could do to keep from singing.
This morning, though, was another story. She hadn’t stopped humming and singing under her breath since she’d left the house. She’d crept out of bed early, careful not to wake Luc. Careful not to mar the aura that last night had created.
Determined to catch up on the work she’d allowed to pile up, Alison had arrived at the clinic before Shayne. She was going to need more time off and she didn’t want to feel badly about it, even though Shayne had told her that she could take all the time she needed. Visitors weren’t exactly commonplace in Hades.
Maybe that would change with the hotel. Jacob had given every indication of wanting to utilize her idea. Even Janice had come around, as long as she knew she didn’t have to remain in Hades to see the project through.
She didn’t see why the woman hated it so. Hades had a lot going for it if one’s main focus in life wasn’t getting all the latest cable channels.
Picking up another armload of files, she moved to the next filing bin. Janice and Jacob were leaving tomorrow and she wanted to go with Luc to see them off.
Found: His Perfect Wife Page 19
