by Linda Mooney
“She ran off when I was ten. Took off one morning for work and never came home. Never called. Never bothered to see how we were doing or how I was—”
Her voice choked on her. Old memories she thought she had burned and scattered the ashes of now sent their ghosts back to haunt her. Without her mother there to take the brunt of Charlie Pitt’s anger, the man had turned on her to be his next whipping post.
“How old were you when you ran away?”
“Eighteen. I left graduation night. I hung around long enough to get my diploma, be legally declared an adult, and then I was gone.” She took a deep breath. “I was damned and determined not to be one of those dropouts who had to come back later and get her GED just so she could have a shot at a decent future.” A slight shake of the head. “Some future. I’d been hoarding money from odd jobs, and from what I could take from Daddy without him noticing. We lived in a little town called Bridgeton, outside of West Columbia. The graduation party was in West Columbia, so I was able to get some high school buddies to give me a ride that far. I walked to Madison. From there, I hitched a ride in the back of a truck full of cantaloupes into Tuton. There’s a little eatery on the corner of Main, right there on the town green, called Soup’s On. I went in and asked for work. Got hired on the spot. I was there about a year when Carl walked in. He was working rigging then, before he hurt his back on the job.”
“And he took you to Laughlin?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “His mother lived there. She was nice to me. Carl told her we were getting married, and I believed him.”
Jeb watched as she picked at an imaginary piece of fuzz from her nightgown. “But you didn’t get married.”
She shook her head. “His mom had a stroke and died right before Thanksgiving. Carl thought he was going to get all this money in inheritance. But after the funeral and all the bills were paid, there wasn’t much left. Even after he sold her house.” Hannah sighed loudly. This time there was real sadness in the sound. “God, I loved that old house. I begged Carl to let us move into it, but he said he needed the money. We fought. He finally relented. A little. He bought that trailer and the pickup. Things were okay for a while. Then he fell off a platform at work and went on disability.” She slid her eyes over at him. “That was a little over a year ago.”
“No children?”
The question was like a punch to the gut. A tear fell from her eye before she knew it was there. God, she wanted to tell him all of it, but what would be the use? Done was done, and it wouldn’t do either of them any good to dredge it up.
A warm hand covered hers where they lay in her lap. His face was so close to hers. His eyes were warm brown pools with little gold flecks in them. Incredible eyes. Sensitive. Full of caring.
“Don’t let it fester inside you,” he urged.
“I’m … afraid.”
“Why?” It was softer than a whisper.
“I want to s-stop hating. I want to stop hu-hurting.” The tears were falling faster now. Hannah sniffed.
“Then purge yourself.”
She hung her head. There was no way she could tell him everything if she had to see the pity in his eyes. She felt him lean closer, and his shoulder rubbed up against hers. It was enough to ground her. “Carl told me that if he found out I was pregnant, he’d get a h—” The memory burned inside her like a hot brand. The words felt like acid on her tongue. “He said he’d get a hanger and abort it himself,” she finally managed to say.
She waited for his response but there was none. A gentle pressure on her hands gave her courage to continue.
“How long has he been beating up on you?”
“Oh … he’s smacked me around a little ever since we got to Laughlin. Back then, when his mother was still alive, it wasn’t much. A few bruises, but nothing big. Nothing really painful. But after Rona died, he changed. He got more violent. More … unstable, I guess you could say. But when he lost his job and had to go on workman’s comp, that was when things got really bad.”
“Didn’t you tell the authorities?”
“Oh, yeah. Once. Just once. He got arrested. Spent two weeks in county before the judge gave him probation. When he got out, he told me that if I ever turned him in again, or if I went to the hospital and reported him, he would kill me. He told me…”
The memory of that night was still too fresh, too real not to feel the hurt all over again. Leaning over slightly, Hannah pressed her forehead against his shoulder. Contact. She needed him to keep her bolted to the ground and surround her with his armor.
“Told you what?”
She shook her head, unable to tell him all the hateful, nasty things he had said that had been meant to demean her. To tear her self-esteem into shreds. To destroy her emotionally as well as physically.
Jeb moved closer to her on the bed. That calmness he exuded gave her strength. “Why did he attack you so brutally this time?”
Hannah groaned, remembering every word Carl screamed at her as he beat her with his fists and the heels of the heavy workboots he used to wear.
“You said you were leaving town and I … I couldn’t bear the thought of you going away. It hurt so damn much to even think about it. I decided the next morning I would ask you to take me with you. I was going to beg if I had to. Not so much because I wanted to leave Carl once and for all, but because I thought … I thought…”
“What?”
“I thought … nothing, Jeb. Nothing. It was nothing.” She tried to pull away from him, away from his warmth and caring, and those liquid brown eyes that seemed to see everything inside her. He refused to let her go or to move further away.
“He beat you because…”
“Because I talked in my sleep, okay? I called out your name ‘cause I must’ve been dreaming about asking you to take me with you, and it woke him up. He was furious to find out what I planned to do. He wanted to know who you were. He thought you and I had something going on, on the side, but I told him we didn’t.” She flinched involuntarily from the memory. “Carl never believes what I tell him. That’s why he hit me.”
Her voice gave out, leaving her with another onset of fresh, wracking sobs. Arms like giant oak tree limbs went around her, drawing her tight against his wall of a chest. Slowly Hannah lifted her arms and twined them around his neck.
There would be no more hitting. No more bruising. No more nights filled with blinding pain and blood. It was over. She was free of Carl. Because they had never married, there was no obligation between them. He had no hold whatsoever on her. Especially on her heart.
Yeah, he would probably come after her to try and get her back. But deep inside, Hannah knew he wouldn’t succeed. Jeb wouldn’t let him, and the thought of this tall, dark man becoming her absolute protector was like a miracle come true.
“Because I could not bear the thought of him hurting you any more.”
A deep friendship may lead to deeper discoveries.
Oh, God, she hoped so.
Chapter 7
Truth
“What’s wrong?”
Jeb rested his back against the side of the phone booth. He knew his brother would be aware of something not being right, which was one of the reasons he had called.
“Your blood line has been pumping like a Synergian sun crystal for the past two days,” Simolif spoke in their native tongue. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. But something’s happened I need to let you know about.”
He heard his older brother sigh on the other end of the line. Simolif, or Simon as he called himself on this world when he was in his human guise, was his only blood tie left alive. They were as close as siblings could be, which was an extraordinary circumstance considering the Arra took great pains to keep family members apart.
Unconsciously Jeb glanced at the thin skin covering his inner arm. Sunset was a few minutes away. Once darkness fell, he would have the ability to shed this covering and let his own skin breathe. Fortunately for Simolif, the city where
he lived was already dark.
“Did someone see the real you?” Simolif questioned.
“No. Umm … not yet.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m in a little town called Tumbril Harbor. I was promised work here at the lumbermill.”
“You told me your job in Laughlin was coming to an end, but I thought you said you were heading to Clearwater.”
“That’s … umm, the reason I didn’t is why my blood line has been acting so strangely.” Pressing his lips together, Jeb informed him, “I brought a woman with me.”
There was a pause, a silence that felt curiously odd, then a single word response.
“Oh?”
Quickly he explained what had occurred, and why he had brought Hannah with him to this town. Simon listened carefully until he was through.
“You’re developing feelings for this woman,” he sensed.
“Yeah.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Believe it. It took me a while to accept it. But now that I have her with me, and I can touch her and smell her … I have never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“But she’s human. How is it possible?”
“I don’t know!” Jeb laughed out loud. His confession was liberating. Saying it aloud, and being truthful with both himself and his brother, gave him an overwhelming feeling of lightness. His admission had rendered him light-headed from the realization he had found his one true other self. It was more than a miracle. It was more than either of them had expected.
Simon tsked loudly, chuckling. “I will send up prayers tonight that you have been blessed.”
“Please do,” Jeb asked, suddenly sober. “I cannot wait to see what our next step is. There is a major obstacle still facing us, unfortunately.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She hasn’t seen the real me.”
“Yet.”
“Yet,” Jeb concurred. It was inevitable. Sooner or later, he knew he would either have to reveal himself to her, or she would find out on her own.
“And you think she will turn away from you when she does?” Simon asked.
The remark made Jeb laugh at the irony. “She’s just left a man who was a monster to her. What do you think she’ll do when she sees the real thing?”
“We’re not monsters,” Simon said softly but with emphasis. “We just look different.”
Jeb disagreed. “You’re wrong, my brother. Have you seen the movies? Most of their monsters are horrid-looking creatures with no resemblance to man. And many of them are from space.”
There was a sigh of disappointment. “I think you’re wrong, Jebaral. And do you know why I think that?”
“You’re going to tell me anyway.” Jeb chuckled, but felt curious nonetheless.
“Because I hear something different in your voice. You can hide behind that wall of doubt all you want, but I can still hear it, even over this line. Hear it. Smell it. You know she won’t turn you away, but you’ll have to be careful how you approach her.”
There was another long pause, then Simon asked, “Does she really make you happy?”
Jeb groaned softly, unaware of his response. “In ways I can’t begin to explain.”
“Have you tried to—”
“No,” Jeb hastily replied. It was already torture having her touch him, and touching her back, without dwelling on the possibility of making love to her. Besides, neither he nor Simon had any idea if they could manage to perform such an intimate act while still in their human forms. Much less to a non-Ruinos female.
“Why not?”
He laughed aloud. “I want to, Simolif. Oh, dearest heavens, I feel like there’s a planetary rift tearing me apart inside.”
This time it was Simon who groaned. “I envy you. What I wouldn’t give to find a female who would accept me. Tell me more about her. About this Hannah.”
Readjusting his position, Jeb leaned his head back against the glass enclosure. “Her beauty is unsurpassed because of her inner strength. I feel as if she can see right inside me. Not only that, she has all the qualities of a true woman of our kind. She hates but forgives. She’s smart but continues to question. She is a survivor of the first caliber. Most of all, she is willing to give of herself. Give, and give freely. I know if she can accept me, there will be no limits between us.”
The sun was below the tree line in the distance. Already he could feel his body tugging on the pseudo-skin encasing his body.
“Jebaral, you know I have to ask this,” Simon said.
A fist inside his chest began beating against his ribs. It was the one question he dreaded hearing. But it was the one he had to eventually face.
“What will you do if you take her … and there is no consummation? There is no blood line formed?”
Stars were brightening in the eastern sky. A coolness spread over him. It was his body telling him he was finally free of the sun’s restraints. If he wanted to, he could shapeshift now. Or he could keep the façade on for a few more hours if he chose. For the time being, Jeb chose to remain human.
“Jeb?”
“Then I will have no choice but to let her go,” he replied. A bolt of pain shot through him so intense he hissed. Simon would force him to face the reality of his situation. His brother would make him face the truth that maybe Hannah was not the woman he was meant to have.
The pain went through him again, just as hurtful as it had been the first time.
“Jeb?”
“Yeah?”
“How can I ease the hurt?”
Slowly Jeb shook his head. Simon would be able to see how strongly he was reacting to his probing questions. The blood line in his brother’s arm was as telling as seeing Jeb himself face-to-face.
“She has to be the one, Simon. I know it. She has to be. Why else would I feel this kind of agony? Or this strong a pull?”
For once, surprisingly, Simon agreed with him. All his life he and his brother had disagreed on practically everything. Their arguments had been forceful but congenial, harboring no hatred or ill will. That was the way it was between them. Jeb couldn’t remember the last time when Simon had acquiesced to one of his decisions.
“For the sake of your happiness, I pray she is. Like I said before, I am envious.” There was a shifting in the background. “The sun is down,” Simon remarked. He had sensed the deepening twilight on Jeb’s end.
“Yeah. I need to go back. I got some painkillers with a sleeping agent in them to help her rest.”
“You mean to keep her unconscious while you rest,” Simon teased him. Jeb chuckled. “How long do you plan to stay there in Tumbril Harbor? Tumbril … hmm, tumbril … My memory says that name is a death object.”
“It was a cart used to haul prisoners to their death. When the town was first settled, a lot of the lumber the mill produced was shipped overseas to Europe. The townspeople say no one really knows why this place was stuck with such a grisly name when the bulk of its lumber went to build sailing vessels.”
Simon laughed aloud. “Only you, brother, would find such a place to settle. Very well, I have the number of the lodge where you are staying. I will let you go so you can revive yourself. One last thing, though.”
Jeb smiled. “What?”
“When you finally reveal yourself to her, and you explain why we are here, be sure to let her know that I am the handsome one.”
Jeb laughed loudly at the notion, knowing what had made Simon make such a request. “I will promise nothing, brother, until I am certain her body and spirit are mine and mine alone. Then I will let her know of your existence.”
The laughter on the other end was his answer. “If that is your decision—”
“It is, Simolif. Accept it or refuse it, but that is my final word.”
More laughter followed. The two bid each other a restful night, and Jeb hung up feeling better than he had in the past couple of days.
Without saying as much, Simolif had given hi
m his blessings.
Jeb knew he had found his life’s partner. The vessel where his spirit could take refuge, to revive and take comfort in.
But because she was human, he had to be careful how he would approach her with the truth.
The phone booth was a block away from the motel. From where he had been standing, he had watched the neon sign come on and start flashing when dusk had settled. He couldn’t see the truck or the bungalow, but the tall pines flanking the rear of the motel were dark and inviting.
It was their first night together. By all the suns in the universe, he prayed it wouldn’t be the last.
Chapter 8
Indecision
“Well?” Hannah greeted him when he walked into the bungalow.
Jeb flashed her a smile. She was propped up in bed with her pillow behind her back, and the sheet and blanket in her lap. In the lamp’s pale glow her face appeared eerily like a mask. The black and dark purple bruises, plus the swelling, made one side of her face contrast sharply with the other.
“Well, what? Did you take those capsules I gave you?”
She had been watching television when he came in. Clicking it off, she laid the remote on the table beside her. “Yeah. Did you call the mill?”
“Yes, I did. I left a message on their answering machine to let them know I was in town, and that I would be coming by Monday morning to apply for a job there.”
An expression he couldn’t identify glistened in her eyes. The scent of worry drifted around her with its apple aroma. Trying to put her at ease, Jeb added, “You know, if this place doesn’t work out for us, we can always move on. But not until next Sunday.”
“Sunday? Why next Sunday?”
“Because that’s when the next week’s rent is due. So until then, you’re stuck with me here in this place.”
The remark got the kind of response he wanted. Hannah’s worry disappeared with a careful giggle. He didn’t miss the hand that suddenly flew to her damaged cheek. “Give the medicine time to work. You know, if you had let me take you to the hospital, the doctor would have given you a prescription for something stronger.”
