He walks around the coffee table and stops a few feet away from me. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to go on a drive with me.”
My gaze goes to Emily. I don’t know if I’m looking for her approval or what, but when our eyes meet, she barely nods, like she’s telling me to go. I want to go, but somehow having Emily’s endorsement makes my decision easier. I turn back to Drake. “Okay.”
His face lights with a smile. “Let’s go.”
I look at Emily. “See you later.”
She gives me a funny smile, like she knows something that I don’t, then she says, “See ya.”
I don’t worry about what’s going on with her and instead focus on Drake. He smiles at me, then walks to the door and opens it for me. I head to the bottom of the stairs, then we walk together to his truck. Though he opens the passenger door for me, he doesn’t touch me as I climb inside, and I wonder what he’s going to say.
A few minutes later we’re on the road heading south.
Forty-Seven
ASHLEY
Since the sun will be setting within the next hour, I wonder where he’s going to take me. I think about our drive nearly two weeks before when we decided to date and wonder where we’ll stand after this drive.
“How did your trip go?” I ask, nervous to talk about our relationship.
“It was fine,” he says as he looks at me with a smile. “Crisis averted.”
“That’s good.”
We drive for a while in silence, and I sense that something is up. “Where are we going?” I ask.
He turns to me with a grin. “It’s a surprise.”
My emotions are mixed. Clearly, he’s excited about something, but since we haven’t talked about what happened on Monday, I’m still in a state of anxiety. “What are you doing?” I say, frustrated that he knows everything and I know nothing. “What’s going on?”
Wearing a calm expression, he turns to me and says, “I promise that I’ll explain everything once we reach our destination.” He pauses. “Trust me, Ashley. Please.”
I think about the tacit approval from Emily—who, based on the look she gave me, probably knows what’s going on—and decide to agree. “Okay.”
Drake smiles. “Thank you.”
As we travel I find myself getting drowsy. It’s been a long week, and I lay my head against the head rest and close my eyes. Before I know it, I wake to the sound of Drake calling my name and gently touching my arm.
“We’re here, Ashley. Wake up.” He’s standing next to the open passenger door of his truck.
Groggy and disoriented, it takes me a moment to remember what’s going on. Then I recall that Drake was taking me on a drive to some mysterious place, and has yet to explain why The Witch was in his office at the beginning of the week.
My gaze meets his and I see a sparkle in his eyes, then I look out the window to see where we are. Though the sun has set, there’s enough light for me to see the outline of a very familiar building.
What the heck? It’s Drake’s cabin.
A million different emotions race through me, all tied to different memories from the time I spent here a month before. It’s hard to believe it’s been so long—it feels like I’ve lived a lifetime since then.
“Do you want to come in?” he says.
“What are we doing here?” I look at him with confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I wanted to bring you someplace where there won’t be any distractions.” He pauses. “Where we can talk.”
I stare at him, trying to wrap my head around what is going on. I’m not sure I like this—being so far from home with no way to leave if I so choose. He must be pretty confident everything’s going to work out or he wouldn’t have brought me all the way down here.
Intrigued, I decide to go with it. After all, if I hope to have any kind of future with him—and at this point that is still in question—I need to show some level of trust. “Okay.”
He smiles, then holds out his hand to help me out of his truck.
I take it, and try to ignore the sensations that flow through me at the touch of his skin against mine. When my feet touch the ground, he releases my hand, but I want to intertwine my fingers with his.
He walks towards the porch and I follow, and a moment later he opens the door and holds it for me. When I see the interior of the cabin and smell the scents that are now familiar, memories cascade over me, and my heart pounds with the fantasy I’d had that Drake cares about me and that we have a future together.
Then when I realize that my fantasy is closer to reality than ever and that he does care about me—at least I think he does, why else would he bring me here?—pure joy flows over me in waves, and I’m so overcome with emotion that I find it hard to speak.
The room is warm and cozy and after a moment I turn to Drake with a smile. “I guess the furnace is working this time.”
He grins in return. “Yes. It helps that the weather’s warmer.” After a pause, he says, “You haven’t eaten dinner. You must be starved.”
My stomach rumbles noisily in reply, and I laugh. “I guess I am.”
He gestures to the couch. “Make yourself at home.” He smiles. “I’ll make us something to eat.” His smile dims. “Then we can talk.”
Tension replaces the light mood, and I know it’s not just coming from me. “Do you need any help making dinner?”
“I’ve got it,” he says, then a twinkle comes into his eyes. “But you can clean up if you want.”
His words ease the tension, and I laugh. “Hmm. We’ll see.”
“Fair enough.”
I sit on the couch as he goes out to the truck to get the groceries he brought, then I lean against the couch cushions and close my eyes. I think about the good times we spent together—here at the cabin, and then more recently. The image of Drake’s face as we went dancing and hiking fills my mind, and I yearn for him to love me like I love him.
Forty-Eight
DRAKE
As I turn on the grill I think about how much restraint it took for me not to sweep Ashley into my arms the moment she walked into her apartment earlier, but at least she agreed to come with me. I know she must think I’m despicable for talking to Rachel behind her back, and I can’t blame her.
If she’d spent time with Jonathan after agreeing to only go out with me, I’d be livid—and hurt. I’ve had all week to think about what happened on Monday and I can only imagine how it must have looked to her. I’ve also thought all week about how I’m going to help her to understand what happened, and I’m scared.
Explaining what happened is going to require me to open up my heart in a way I’ve never opened it before, and the thought terrifies me. This is going to be the moment of truth, and I’m worried that she’ll reject me.
That’s one of the reasons why I decided to do this at the cabin. If she rejects me then I’ll still have time to convince her that I’m worth taking a chance on. After all, it’s a two hour drive back to Reno and she’ll be a captive audience for the entire drive.
The other reason I brought her here is in the hopes that the good memories will nudge her in the direction I want her to go. If she thinks about the good times we spent, perhaps that will soften her up to accept my explanation for why I was talking to Rachel.
I think about Ashley’s roommate, Emily, and my mouth quirks into a smile. When I first met her she’d seemed to dislike me intensely, but when I spoke to her this afternoon, she’d seemed to have a change of heart. I’d been nervous to tell her what I had in mind, but to my surprise she’d gone along with it, even offering to pack a bag for Ashley.
I’d noticed the silent communication between the two women when I’d asked Ashley to come with me, and I wonder if Ashley would have agreed if Emily hadn’t seemed to offer her silent approval.
Well, she’s here now, and now it’s up to me to set things right, to let her know how I feel.
My hands feel clammy as I lay the steak on the grill, and I don�
��t think it’s due to the chill in the air.
ASHLEY
As I wait for Drake to make dinner, I decide to text Emily. Since there’s no cell service, I get on Drake’s wifi with my phone and bring up my texting screen.
Ashley: He brought me to his cabin.
A few minutes later she replies.
Emily: I know.
Ashley: What do you mean you know? How did you know?
Emily: He told me he wanted to take you there, Bee.
I smile at the nickname, then reply.
Ashley: Why are you helping him? I thought you didn’t want me to be with him.
Emily: I think he really cares about you. Maybe you should give him a chance.
“Dinner’s ready,” Drake says as he walks into the living room.
I look at him and smile, then stand and follow him into the kitchen. I tuck my phone into my pocket, then sit in the seat I’ve sat in many times before. “Smells delicious,” I say as I look over the meal he’s prepared: Steak, a salad, and rolls.
“Only the best for you,” he says as he sits across from me.
We begin eating, and I focus on my food, prepared to let him take the lead in the conversation. After several minutes of silence he sets his fork down and clears his throat. When I look at his face it’s apparent that he’s uncomfortable, but I stay quiet.
“I’ve learned a few things recently,” he begins.
Setting my fork on my plate, I sit up straighter and focus on him, my appetite suddenly non-existent.
A muscle moves in his jaw, then he says, “One is that I don’t deserve you.”
Shocked by his words, my heart races and my stomach churns. Why is he saying this? Is he going to dump me already? Would he bring me here to do that?
“But I want to be worthy of you,” he continues.
Relief helps to settle my stomach, but I still feel tight with worry.
“That’s why I was talking to Rachel.”
“I don’t understand,” I say. “What does Rachel have to do with me?”
DRAKE
Here we go.
I gaze at Ashley, then as my heart starts to pound, I look away. After I gather my thoughts I turn back to her. “I know this might not make sense to you, but after the time you and I spent together I started to understand how hurtful I’ve been to the women I’ve dated. I thought it would help if I apologized to them. Rachel’s the woman I dated the longest, and the most recently, so I decided to talk to her.”
I watch Ashley’s reaction and wonder what she’s thinking.
“What does spending time with me have to do with you thinking you’ve been hurtful to other women?”
“Well,” I begin as my heart climbs into my throat. “The more time I’ve spent with you, the more I’ve grown to care for you.” I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the closed-up feeling that’s settled there. It’s almost as if my body doesn’t want me to admit my feelings, but I press on anyway.
ASHLEY
Joy suffuses me at Drake’s words. He says he’s grown to care about me. Maybe there is a future for us. The idea brings me all kinds of happiness, although I still don’t get what that has to do with him figuring out that he’s been hurtful to other women. I stay quiet as I wait for him to explain.
“This is hard for me,” he says.
I can see that, but I don’t speak, not wanting to influence what he says.
“You see,” he says, “The deeper I’ve grown to care for you, the more I’ve come to realize the capacity you have to hurt me.”
A small gasp escapes my lips. I would never hurt him on purpose, and the thought that he thinks I have the capacity to do so surprises me. “I would never hurt you,” I say in my defense.
His face reddens and he seems flustered. “That’s not what I meant.”
I can see that I misunderstood what he was saying, and I decide to keep my mouth shut and let him finish.
“What I meant was,” he says, “knowing that when you care about someone so much, then that person’s rejection can cause pain, well, it made me realize that I probably caused pain to Rachel.” He looks at his lap and shakes his head. “This probably doesn’t make any sense.”
It makes total sense. If I get what he’s saying, then I want to jump up and dance for joy, because he’s saying that he’s grown to care for me enough that if I reject him, he’ll be hurt. “Let me see if I understand,” I begin, and he looks up and meets my gaze. “You’ve barely discovered what it feels like to know someone can hurt you by rejecting you.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“Are you telling me you’ve never been hurt by a woman before?” When I think how many times I’ve been hurt by a man, the thought that he’s never been hurt seems unbelievable, especially knowing that he likes to date lots of women.
Embarrassment creeps onto his face. “Yes, that’s what I’m telling you.”
I nod, not sure what to say. “Okay.” After a pause, I say, “So you wanted to apologize to Rachel for hurting her?”
He nods. “That’s right.”
I think about the conversation I overheard, and realize that what he’s telling me now lines up with what I heard him saying to Rachel. Relief that it was truly innocent—and actually a demonstration of Drake’s growth—fills me with hope. “Okay.”
A look of uncertainty fills his eyes. “What do you mean, ‘Okay’?”
“I mean, I understand now why you were talking to Rachel.”
“Good.” A smile forms on his mouth. “Good.” He picks up his fork and knife and slices off a piece of steak.
I watch him put the meat in his mouth and wonder if the big conversation is over. If it is, it feels anti-climatic. Since he brought me all the way to his cabin, I guess I was expecting something more.
Pushing down my feeling of disappointment, I pick up my fork and stab my lettuce.
DRAKE
That went better than I expected, and Ashley seems to believe me.
As I chew, I imagine voicing my feelings towards her and my gut squeezes with panic. I’m not sure I can say those words out loud. I rehearse them in my head, the words getting more specific with every sentence.
I’ve grown to care for you, Ashley. You mean so much more to me than I thought possible. Lately you’ve been in my thoughts constantly.
Ashley, I love you.
At the last thought, my stomach clenches, and I nearly choke on the steak I’m in the midst of swallowing. I try to analyze why I’m so terrified to tell her my deepest feelings, but can’t come up with a good reason.
Man-up, Drake. What’s the worst that can happen? She says she doesn’t love you? Then what? She’ll say she never wants to see you again? I don’t think that will happen. At the worst, she’ll say she likes you a lot, or something equally mild. That’s okay. I don’t think she’s going to run off and refuse to see you. After all, she went to the trouble of applying for a job at your firm just so she could see you. Obviously she likes you enough to do that. And she’s here, which means she agreed to go with you, so get over yourself and tell her how you feel.
My self-talk helps, but I still can’t push the words past my teeth.
Forty-Nine
ASHLEY
Even though I barely taste the food, I keep eating. The silence starts to get to me, so I say, “Are we going back to Reno tonight?”
Drake looks at me sharply, like he hadn’t anticipated such a suggestion. “Do you want to go back to Reno?”
I’m clueless about what he expects from me, so I shrug. “I don’t have my things here, so . . .”
His eyebrows draw together in a look of discomfort. “If you want to go home, of course I’ll take you there, but Emily packed a bag for you.”
“What?” I don’t mean for that to sound so abrupt, but the thought that she would do that shocks me.
Drake sets his fork down and looks at me earnestly. “I’m really sorry. She offered, and I guess I thought . . . I don’t know
what I thought.”
It’s obvious that he thinks I hate the idea, which isn’t the case at all. In fact, I love the idea that we’ll have time alone. “No, it’s okay. I just didn’t expect her to . . . well . . . to help you out.”
At the look of relief on his face, I smile.
“Why do you say that?” he asks.
Should I tell him that she hated the idea of me dating him? Hmm. Maybe. But I definitely won’t tell him that she came up with the talking points.
“Uh, well,” I say. “She kind of wanted me to be with Jonathan.”
A flush creeps over Drake’s cheeks and he compresses his lips.
“But I guess she changed her mind,” I say, then hesitate. After a moment I add, “When she saw how happy I’ve been recently—well, except since Monday—I guess she figured out that I prefer you over him.”
His expression smoothes out and he nods. “I have something for you.”
“You do?”
His mouth quirks into a half-smile, then he gets up and leaves the room. A moment later he returns and holds out a small rectangular box.
I take it from him. “What is this?”
“You’ll have to open it and see,” he says as he sits in his chair.
Slowly, I open the lid, then gasp when I see a gorgeous diamond bracelet nestled on a bed of dark blue velvet—twists of white gold encrusted with diamonds. “Drake, this is too much.”
He smiles at me, like he’s pulled one over on me, and I remember the money I put on his desk.
“You did not,” I say as I lift the delicate bracelet from its case.
“Did not what?” he asks.
I meet his gaze. “You used the money I gave you for my car repair, didn’t you?”
A smug smile curves his mouth. “Why would you think that?”
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 30
