“Hi there,” Drake says when he opens the door. His gaze shoots to my ring finger before going back to my face, then he pulls me in for a kiss. “Come on in.”
As I step inside, I realize that the last time I was here—exactly two weeks earlier—we had our big fight and he told me he wanted to date other women. Beyond grateful that we’ve gotten past that, I follow him inside.
“Something smells good,” I say.
He smiles. “I put steaks on the grill.” His smile grows. “If I remember correctly, you like yours medium well.”
I think about the first time we had steak together. It was the weekend Drake had brought me to his cabin and told me I love you. Memories of lying next to him as he whispered those three important words into my hair when he thought I was sleeping sweep over me, and I’m enveloped with love for him. “Yes,” I say. “Do you need help with anything else?”
With a slight smirk, he says, “No. But you can clean up after.”
I laugh. “Works for me.”
DRAKE
I’m relieved to see the ring on Ashley’s finger, and though I want to ask her if she told Evan, I hold back. In all reality, it’s not important. Not really. And I know I need to let it go.
“Thank you for the flowers,” she says. “They’re gorgeous.”
I draw her into my arms and breathe in her unique scent. “Gorgeous flowers for my gorgeous fiancé.”
Laughing softly, she wraps her arms around my neck. “If you’re going to be so romantic all the time, I’m going to have to come up with some surprises of my own.”
“Hmm. That sounds intriguing.”
She pulls away and gazes at me. “You don’t have to shower me with gifts. You know that, right?”
Is that what I’ve been doing? “I haven’t been showering you with gifts.”
She pulls back slightly, though her arms are still wrapped loosely around my neck. “The diamond bracelet, the diamond earrings. The flowers.” She smirks. “And let’s not forget the bikini, dress, and shoes.”
When she lays it out in a list like that, it does seem kind of shower-like. I lift her left hand and show her the ring. “You forgot to mention this.”
She laughs. “That’s different.”
One of my eyebrows shoots up. “How so?”
“That’s an engagement ring. Not just a gift.”
“I see.” I gaze at her a moment. “Why do you have a problem with me giving my future wife gifts?”
ASHLEY
Do I have a problem with it? That’s a good question—although I like to hear him call me his future wife. I think about my reason, and after a moment I realize what it is. Because I can’t even begin to reciprocate. And it makes me feel unequal in this relationship. Like I don’t have anything to give.
Not wanting to start a fight, I say, “Never mind.”
He kisses me softly on the lips. “You just need to learn to accept my gifts with grace.”
I know he’s right, but it still bothers me to know we’re on such unequal financial footing.
We work together to get dinner on the table, and after we begin eating, Drake says, “I heard from my father today.”
I’ve never met his father, and I’m a little worried about what he’ll think about me. According to Drake, his father knows Rachel. Will he think I’m a step down from her? That Drake’s settling?
“Did you tell him about me?” I ask as I straighten the napkin on my lap.
Smiling, he nods. “He wants to meet you.”
“Is he…in town?”
“He’ll be in town this weekend—he still has a place here in Reno. I thought the three of us could get together for dinner on Saturday night.”
I take a sip of water, then say, “Sure. Okay.”
Drake places a hand over mine. “There’s nothing to be nervous about, Ashley. I told him how wonderful you are. He’ll love you.”
Knowing Drake’s father is the only immediate family he has, it seems even more important that I make a good impression. “I hope so.”
Drake lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the soft skin on the back. “I know so.”
Somewhat comforted, but wanting to think about something else, I remember the conversation I had with Emily about looking for a wedding gown this weekend. We both begin eating again, but after a few moments, I say, “I was thinking of looking at wedding gowns this weekend, but I wanted to check with you to see if you had any plans in mind for us.”
Drake’s eyes widen, then they settle back to normal.
What was that all about?
Eight
DRAKE
Wedding gowns? My heart stutters at Ashley’s announcement. This is really going to happen.
Panic begins to swell within me. I’m going to get married. I’m going to be with Ashley for the rest of my life. The freedom I’ve enjoyed my entire life is about to end. Then I remind myself that this is my choice. That I love Ashley, that I want to be with her always, and the panic begins to recede.
“That’s great,” I say, but even I can hear the forced enthusiasm.
“I don’t have to,” she says, although I can see the disappointment in her eyes and hear it in her voice.
Feeling like a jerk—I’m the one who proposed to her, not the other way around—I take her hand, and as I stroke it with my thumb, I smile at her. “I think it’s a great idea.” This time my voice has a tone of confidence, and Ashley smiles.
“Okay,” she says. “But did you want to do anything that day? I can go a different day.”
I laugh. “I can work while you’re shopping, so it’s fine.”
ASHLEY
Relieved that he’s okay with it, but curious why he got that look of uncertainty, I nod. Then I think of something I need to ask him that immediately makes me uncomfortable.
“Uh, Drake?” I begin as he picks up his knife and slices his steak.
He looks up. “Yeah?”
“We need to talk about the budget. For the wedding, I mean.”
He sets his utensils down. “Okay.”
Embarrassed to say what I need to say, I go on. “Money is kind of tight for my parents, so I’m not sure how much I should ask them to chip in.”
His face relaxes. “Then don’t ask them for any money. You and I will pay for it.”
Panic immediately blossoms inside me. I don’t have any money. I’m reminded why I brought up the topic of Drake showering me with gifts. His statement only emphasizes the financial inequality in our relationship, and I hate it. It makes me feel like the lesser partner.
With a frown, I say, “I…I don’t really have any…” I swallow. “That is, I don’t think I can contribute as much as I’d like.” An image of Rachel pops into my mind—gorgeous, put-together, self-sufficient—and I want to turn away as my face heats.
To his credit, instead of laughing at me, Drake tenderly strokes my arm, which draws my attention back to him.
“Ashley,” he murmurs as his eyes bore into mine, “What I meant was, my money will become your money.”
Relieved I won’t have to spend money I don’t have, I’m still not fully comfortable with the idea of spending the money he’s worked so hard to earn.
“That doesn’t seem quite fair,” I say without thinking.
His lips twitch like he’s holding back a smile. “Why not? Because you’re not going to share your money with me?”
A blush rises on my cheeks at the ridiculousness of his statement, and I feel stupid. “No. I mean, of course I’ll share my money with you.”
Now he laughs. “I’m just kidding. I have sufficient for both of us. I don’t want you to worry about the cost of the wedding.”
I know that’s not going to happen. There’s no way I’m just going to spend his money willy-nilly, and I decide to make that clear. “I’d feel more comfortable if we talked about a budget. For example, what do you think should be the limit on the cost of my wedding gown?” It pains me to even ask because I’m basically agree
ing to the idea that he’ll pay for everything. But I know there’s really no other choice—unless I borrow a wedding gown or buy a used one. Then I realize that’s what I should do.
“I have no idea what’s reasonable for a wedding gown,” he says. “You’ll have to decide.”
Now that I’ve thought of a way to save money on my first purchase for our wedding, I smile. “Okay.”
DRAKE
Obviously, Ashley isn’t thrilled with the reality that I’ll be the one paying for our wedding. But I don’t mind—I have enough to cover the cost. I’m actually glad that I had to convince her that it’s okay for me to cover it. It shows she’s probably not going to go crazy with spending.
“Good.” Glad to have that settled, I decide to bring up something that’s been on my mind. Something I’m not even a hundred percent sure I’m ready for, but something I want to suggest.
“Ashley?”
She looks at me, her eyes questioning, and I become more certain that I’m ready for this step.
“I was thinking,” I begin, “how would you feel about moving in with me?” As the words leave my mouth, my heart starts to pound. I’ve always relished my freedom—coming and going when I please, never having to check with someone else about my plans. Am I sure I want to take this step? But when I look at Ashley and think about how much I enjoyed having her around 24/7 at my cabin, the idea has more and more appeal and I find I’m eager for her to agree.
She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Taken aback by her answer, I don’t know what to think. I assumed she would jump at the chance to move in with me. “Why not?”
ASHLEY
I can tell Drake’s surprised by my response, and I struggle to come up with an explanation. I know the reason, I’m just hesitant to share it with him. Then I decide to be honest. After all, he’s going to be my husband. If I can’t be honest with him, then I have no business marrying him.
To soften the words I’m about to say, I smile. “It’s just that I’m not sure I’m ready to be so dependent on you.”
His eyebrows bunch. “Why would that make you dependent on me?”
Trying to clarify what’s on my mind, I attempt to put my feelings into words. “If I move in with you, Emily will find another roommate. That means I won’t…” I go silent as I realize what I almost said: I won’t have a place to move back to if this doesn’t work out.
Startled by where my thoughts went, I backpedal. “That is, it would put Emily in a difficult spot.”
Drake’s eyes narrow. “That’s not what you were going to say, was it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think you’re worried about Emily finding a new roommate. I mean, we are getting married.” He pauses. “Right?” The word hangs in the air as he gazes at me.
I hear the unasked question. You do want to marry me, don’t you?
“Of course,” I say. Then I wonder what the heck I’m doing. I’m crazy in love with Drake. I’m ecstatic that he proposed to me, that we’re engaged to be married. So why did the thought cross my mind that this might not work out?
He gazes at me. “Emily will have to find a new roommate eventually. Why not sooner rather than later?”
The logic in his reply catches me off-guard.
He watches me. “But that’s not the reason you don’t want her to find another roommate, is it, Ashley?”
Not ready to admit my unexpected doubts, I hedge. “I just don’t want to put her in a difficult position. You know, by suddenly moving out.” My voice is weak, and I know he hears how lame even I think my excuse is.
Nine
DRAKE
My jaw clenches as I watch Ashley’s face. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I need to find out. Even if it means starting an argument.
“If you’re having second thoughts about marrying me,” I begin, “tell me now.” Shocked at the way the words make my heart hurt, I wait to hear what she’s going to say.
“No,” she says without hesitation, which soothes the crushing sensation in my chest. Then she places her hand on my arm. “I love you. I want to marry you.”
Beyond relieved, I push her for more. “Then what? What are you thinking? Really?”
ASHLEY
I’m not sure how I feel about him being able to read me so easily. I suppose it’s a good thing, except when it forces me to reveal my insecurities.
“Trust me,” he says, his voice soft, his eyes pleading. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I think about all we’ve been through—the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows—and I know I can trust him with my deepest worries.
“What if this is too good to be true?” I begin, but before he has a chance to respond, I go on. “I mean, so many things can go wrong.” Then I hold up my hand and touch each finger as I make a list. “Your father might hate me and convince you to dump me, or you might realize you’re not ready to be committed to one woman for the rest of your life, or, or what if I realize I’m not ready?” I’m getting worked up and I feel like I might spiral out of control.
Drake takes the hand I’ve been using to tally all that could go wrong and tugs on it, then slides his chair backwards. “Come here.”
I let him pull me onto his lap where he wraps his arms around me as I lay my head against his shoulder.
“Everything will work out,” he murmurs next to my ear. “I love you and you love me. Nothing else matters. Not what my father thinks, not what anyone thinks.” Then he pulls back slightly and I do the same, and our eyes meet. “I’m not going to change my mind.” He chuckles. “I hope you aren’t either.”
Warmth and security flood me, and I say, “No. I’m not going to change my mind.”
He puts a finger under my chin, lifting my head so that our lips line up perfectly. Then he presses his mouth to mine in a kiss filled with love and passion.
That night as I drive home from Drake’s house, I consider his suggestion that I move in with him. I’m still reluctant, though I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve just barely gotten out on my own—truly on my own—and I’m not ready to give up my independence. Maybe it’s because if I move in with Drake he won’t feel in such a hurry to marry me. I don’t know, but when I walk into the apartment and find Emily watching TV, I’m glad I can get her opinion.
“What’s up, Bee?” she says as she mutes the TV.
I laugh, then plop beside her on the couch. “Do you still want to go shopping for wedding gowns on Saturday?”
Her face lights up. “Yes.”
“Good.” Then, because I know she’ll disapprove of my idea, I hesitate before saying, “I want to find a place that sells used gowns.”
Her eyes widen in horror. “Used? What for? I thought Drake was loaded.” Then her eyes narrow. “Is he refusing to help pay?”
I shake my head. “No. He said he’ll pay for everything.” I bite my lip. “But I don’t want to spend too much money.”
“Is he a cheapskate, Ash? Did he tell you to get a used wedding gown?” Disapproval is clear on her face.
I don’t like the way she’s blaming Drake. “He didn’t tell me how much to spend. In fact he told me to decide. Getting a used gown is my decision.”
Her frown deepens. “Well, it’s a stupid decision. This is your one chance to have the day be all about you. Don’t you want to look stunning?” Her voice softens. “For him?”
“Well, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be frugal.”
She shakes her head. “What is wrong with you?”
She’s worse than Drake. At least he was understanding of my concerns. Emily sounds like she doesn’t want me to consider the cost at all.
“Nothing is wrong with me,” I counter. “I’m just trying to be responsible.”
Sighing loudly, she stares at me. “Fine. Whatever. It’s your wedding.”
Glad that’s over, I smile. “Thank you.” Then I think about my other concern
. “Drake wants me to move in with him.”
Her eyes widen again. “Are you gonna drop any other bombshells?”
I think about Evan’s reaction to my news, but decide I can tell her about that another time. “No.”
She tenses. “Okay. So when are you moving?” She glances away. “I guess I’ll need to find someone to take over your room.” Then she looks at me. “Do you know anyone who’s looking to rent a room?”
I wave my arms. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere.”
“What?”
“I told him no.”
“What?! Why?”
“Maybe I’m not ready.” I sigh. “I need your advice.”
She straightens. “Clearly.”
I chuckle softly. “You obviously think I should accept his offer.”
“Uh, yeah. You’re nuts for this guy. Why wouldn’t you want to live in the same house as him? Then you can see him every day, every night. Come on, Ash.”
“I know, I know.”
“So what’s the real reason?” She stares at me a moment. “A couple of weeks ago you would’ve killed to have him ask you to move in with him.”
What she says is true, but that doesn’t change the way I feel now.
“Okay.” She cocks her head. “Tell Miss Emily what’s going on.”
She’s being so ridiculous that I burst out laughing. “Fine, Miss Emily. I’ll tell you.”
Nodding, she says, “That’s more like it.”
Hoping I don’t sound too crazy, I dive in. “Once I move in, why would he want to actually take the next step and marry me?”
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 49
