How much did they talk? Why would Ashley talk to her at all?
A sense of disquiet settles over me.
Why does Ashley seem so reluctant to tell me what Megan said?
“I told her you’d be back tomorrow,” she says. “She’s going to come over and talk to you.”
What the hell? Now I’m confused and not at all happy. Why would I want to talk to one of the women I used to date? “About what?” Not that I expect Ashley to know the answer to that.
“About…” Ashley releases a soft sigh. “About the baby.”
Did I hear her right? I shake my head slightly as if that will make my ears work better. “Wait, what?”
Ashley’s face is pale, and her eyes show a bleakness I haven’t seen before. “She had a baby with her, Drake. She says he’s yours.”
“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.” I throw my hands up as if that will stop the words from reaching my brain. “My baby?”
Biting her lip, Ashley nods. “That’s what she said.”
My breath comes out in a rush. “That’s ridiculous.”
With an expression of cautious hope, Ashley stares at me. “So you didn’t sleep with her?”
I think of all the times I did sleep with Megan, but we were careful. I was careful. “I…I didn’t say that.”
All the hope on Ashley’s face collapses.
“She must be wrong,” I say, although I know no such thing. “How… how old is he?”
“Three months.”
I quickly do the math and realize it is possible. She would have had to have gotten pregnant right before I jettisoned her from my life.
“She named him Colton.” Ashley’s voice is dull and lifeless.
“Colton?” She named him after me? Somehow this makes it so much worse.
“Yes.” Despair seems to emanate from Ashley’s eyes. “She…she didn’t want me to tell you. I guess she wanted to break the news herself when she comes over tomorrow.”
More like ambush me. Which is typical of Megan.
I place my hand over Ashley’s. “He might not even be mine. We’ll do a paternity test.” The words echo in my head—paternity test, paternity test, paternity test. The idea that I could be a father is absurd. But deep down I know it’s completely possible. Still, I need to reassure Ashley.
“Okay.” She smiles, but I can tell it’s forced. She gazes at me a moment. “But what if…what if he is yours?”
I don’t want to consider that, but it’s clear Ashley has already been thinking about it. “I don’t know. I…I need time to digest this.” I chuckle, but there’s no mirth in the sound. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Like I said, there’s a good chance he’s not even mine.” Please—PLEASE—don’t let him be mine.
“Drake?” Ashley says, and when I meet her gaze, I can see the hesitation on her face.
“What?”
“Do you think there could be…other babies…out there? Of yours?”
I hate that she has to ask this. I hate it even more that I have no idea what the answer is. “I’ve always been careful,” I say, which I know is not the answer she’s looking for.
“But things…happen. Even when you’re careful.”
I don’t want to speculate on this particular topic. Not when there’s an actual baby that could be mine.
The thought makes my throat feel like it’s closing up. “Yeah,” I murmur.
Eighteen
ASHLEY
I can see that this news has really upset Drake. I don’t like to see him upset, but it’s his own fault, damn it. This is what can happen to someone who’s a player. But he’s not the only one who’s affected. I’m the innocent party here—okay, the baby’s innocent too. But he and Megan are most definitely not innocent.
If baby Colton turns out to be Drake’s child, then my life will be irrevocably changed, and I had nothing to do with it.
This is so unfair.
Anger and frustration bubble up inside me as I watch Drake massage his forehead. And my feelings are not only due to baby Colton’s arrival. A large part of my aggravation is because of the unknown—I don’t know how many women Drake’s slept with or if any of them have had his babies. For all I know, there could be a nursery’s worth of little Colton Drake’s out there, just waiting to pop up at the most inopportune moment.
The thought makes me sick.
“I think I’m done,” I say as I push back from the table and carry my dishes into the kitchen.
I scrub the food off of my plate, then place it in the dishwasher. A few moments later I hear Drake walk into the kitchen. Keeping my focus on my task, I wait to see what he’ll do.
“Ashley,” Drake says in a soft voice.
I slowly turn around. Strain is evident in his eyes, but I don’t say anything. I want to see what he’s going to do. I’m upset. I don’t want to make this any easier for him.
“We’ll get through this,” he says. “We’ll figure this out.”
With what he’s saying, plus the tone of his voice, I wonder if he believes the baby is his—he sounds so uncertain. As I stare at him, it occurs to me that I could have been Megan. I slept with Drake while he was still dating Rachel. What if I had become pregnant and he had dropped me, and then he had become engaged to Rachel? Would I have shown up on his doorstep with a baby in my arms, expecting him to step up as a father?
What a mess.
Still, I’m too focused on what I’m feeling to have a lot of empathy for Megan. And I’m angry at Drake for bringing this down on us.
“Ashley?” Drake gazes at me. “What are you thinking?”
I’m not sure I’m ready to tell him, so I just shake my head.
Fresh worry fills his eyes. “You’re with me on this, aren’t you?”
We haven’t even said our marriage vows—for better or for worse—and the idea of bolting is already creeping into my mind. “Yeah,” I finally say, knowing that’s what he needs to hear, even if I’m not sure I mean it.
His eyes slowly close, then he runs his fingers through his hair and meets my gaze. “Thank you.”
Those two simple words touch me, and I know I have to stay by his side. For now at least.
DRAKE
I’m beyond relieved that Ashley says she’ll stick with me. I know this is very upsetting to her, and I can’t say that I would blame her if she broke our engagement. But the thought brings a stabbing pain to my chest.
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her. The feel of her soft body pressed against mine brings me comfort.
“I’m really tired, Drake,” she says after a moment. “I’m going to bed.”
I don’t know if she’s actually tired, or just tired of me, but I release her and watch her walk away. I’m too wired to even consider sleep, so I clean up the kitchen, then go into my office and try to lose myself in work.
ASHLEY
The next morning as Drake and I get ready for work, neither one of us brings up Megan, and when we kiss good-bye, we both pretend that everything is normal, that everything is okay.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Drake says with a smile as he climbs into his car.
“See ya,” I say with a wave.
An hour after I get to work, I get a text from Emily asking if I want to meet her for lunch. I’m desperate to talk to somebody about this—somebody who isn’t Drake. Though I’m not sure I should be telling Emily yet, I agree to meet her for lunch.
I get to the deli before she does, and as I slide into a booth, I debate with myself whether or not to tell her about the baby. Five minutes later she’s sitting across from me and I know I’m going to tell her.
“Hey, Ashley,” she says with a bright smile. “I have some good news.”
I can use some good news. “What is it?”
“I found a new roommate.” She looks at me expectantly, as if waiting for my happy reply.
All of a sudden I realize that if I decide to split from Drake, I won’t have anywhere to go. But when I think that I’m eve
n considering leaving Drake, it feels like someone is hacking into my skull with a blade made of ice.
What am I thinking? I love him so much. But I don’t know if I can deal with this.
I know despair is written all over my face.
“What’s wrong, Ashley?” Emily reaches out and places her hand on my arm. “What’s going on?”
I hardly know where to begin so instead tears fill my eyes.
Emily’s eyebrows draw together. “Tell me,” she demands. “What did he do now?”
I want to defend Drake, to tell her that he didn’t do anything on purpose, but in reality this is all his fault. “A woman came over the other night when Drake was out of town. She was holding a baby.”
I stare at her a moment.
Emily’s eyes widen as she releases my arm. “No.”
I nod. “Yes. She says it’s his.”
“Did he know? Did he know about the baby?”
Shaking my head, I say, “No. He was as shocked as me.”
Emily’s nostrils flare. “How could he be shocked? He’s the one who slept with her.”
“He didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“So he says.”
Now I do feel a need to defend Drake. “Believe me. He didn’t know.”
She shakes her head. “Is he going to do a paternity test? To make sure the baby is his?”
I hate this. I hate this whole thing. “Yeah. He is.”
“And what if it is? Then what?”
I haven’t been able to think that far ahead. I don’t want to think that far ahead. “I don’t know.”
Emily’s lips flatten. “How do you feel about raising another woman’s child?”
The idea upsets me—more than I want to admit. “I’m not happy about it.” I don’t know what else she wants me to say. That I’m going to dump Drake? I’m not so sure myself that that’s a bad idea. Still, I’m not ready to say it out loud. “The woman—Megan—is coming over tonight.”
Emily is quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”
“Me too.” I push a smile onto my face. “I’m glad you found a roommate.”
“Should I…should I put that on hold?”
I don’t want to admit that leaving Drake is even a possibility—I don’t want it to be a possibility. I shake my head. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
No. “Yes. Of course.”
She smiles. “Okay.”
We turn our conversation in another direction, but my mind is on what’s going to happen when Megan comes over that night.
Nineteen
ASHLEY
Drake and I eat dinner in relative silence. I have no idea what time Megan’s coming over—or if she’s actually coming at all. The tension in the room is making me edgy, and I pick at my food.
The doorbell rings.
My heart immediately begins to hammer as my thoughts start to fly.
Will Megan have the baby with her? What will Drake do when he sees the child that may be his son? Will he want to hold him? How will I feel to see him bonding with another woman’s child?
“I’ll get it,” he says, then he pushes back from the table and walks towards the door.
My gaze is glued to the door, and as he pulls it open, I see her. And she’s holding Colton.
“Megan,” Drake says in his deep voice. “What a surprise.” He doesn’t sound surprised.
“Hello, Drake.” She’s silent a moment. “May I come in?”
I’m watching Drake’s face, but I can only see his profile.
“Yeah, sure.” He opens the door wider and she walks in.
I stand and approach.
“Hi, Ashley,” she says, her voice confident. It’s as if she knows she holds all the cards. Which she does.
“Hi.” My voice is soft. I don’t want to be here, but I have to be here. I have to see how this plays out. Baby Colton is awake this time. I look at his face, trying to see if there’s a resemblance to Drake. There could be. I’m not sure. “Do you want to sit down?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Megan sits on one end of the couch. I sit on the other end, and Drake sits in a chair near me.
“What brings you here?” Drake asks, although I’m fairly certain Megan’s figured out that I’ve already warned him.
Megan looks from him to me and back to him. “I think you know.”
“I want to do a paternity test,” he says without preamble.
Megan flinches. “He’s yours, Drake. There’s no doubt.”
I don’t like the calm certainty in her voice.
She shifts Colton so that he’s facing us, and I see Drake studying the baby. My gaze goes from the baby to Drake and back to the baby. I don’t want to see it, but it’s there. The resemblance. And I know the truth.
Colton is his son.
DRAKE
“I still want a test,” I say. There’s no way I’m going to take her at her word.
“Fine.”
My gaze is drawn to the child on her lap. Is this baby mine? My son? The idea gives me very mixed feelings—amazement to think this perfect little being is a part of me, but at the same time, overwhelming fear. I’m not ready to be a father.
“You’ll have to arrange it,” Megan says.
I have no idea how a paternity test will work, but I’ll find out. “Of course.”
No one speaks, but then the baby begins to fuss. Megan places him against her shoulder and he settles down.
“Do you want to hold him?” she asks.
Hell no! “Uh, not right now.”
She frowns. After a moment she reaches into her purse and pulls out a slip of paper. “Here’s my number.” She holds it out and I have no choice, I stand and take it from her before sitting back in my chair. “Let me know where and when for the test.”
I nod.
A moment later she stands. “I’m gonna go.”
I’m glad, because this is beyond awkward. I stand as well and walk her to the door.
“Good-bye, Drake,” she says with a sad smile before she walks out the door.
I close the door behind her and walk back into the living room. Ashley is silent on the couch and I wonder what she’s thinking. Desperate to put this behind us, I say, “I’ll arrange for the test right away, and then we can move beyond this.”
“He’s your baby,” she says. Her voice is soft and without inflection.
I don’t like the certainty with which she speaks. “What makes you say that?” I sit beside her on the couch.
She’s shaking her head. “Don’t you see it, Drake? He looks so much like you.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Well, I see it.”
ASHLEY
I’m not surprised that he’s in denial, but that doesn’t change the facts.
“I’ll do a test,” he says. “And then we’ll know.”
I nod. “Yes. And then we’ll know.” But I already know. What I don’t know is if I want any part of this.
Drakes sighs loudly. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Until I know for sure, there’s really no point.”
I’d rather not talk about it either—or even think about it—so I agree.
We watch TV side by side in silence until I’m too tired to stay awake.
“I’m going to bed,” I say.
“Okay,” Drake says before he kisses me. “I’ll be there in a bit.”
The next day, Saturday, stretches out in front of us. But instead of being excited to finally have a day to spend together uninterrupted, I’m beyond stressed. As I lay in bed beside Drake I remember how exactly a week earlier my biggest worry had been spending too much money on a wedding gown. That seems so trivial now.
Maybe you should cancel the purchase.
The thought shocks me, and I resist the possibility that the wedding won’t happen.
“Good morning,” Drake says as he props himself up on one elbow.
“Hey.”
“I was
thinking we could take my ATV out today. What do you think?”
I’m desperate to forget our problems, so I eagerly agree.
“Great,” he says. “Let’s bring a picnic lunch.”
“Okay.”
He’s quiet for a moment as he gazes down at me. “I ordered a paternity test kit last night.”
I don’t like the reminder of what we’re facing. “Okay.”
He smiles. “I just thought you should know.”
An hour later we’re driving towards the same trailhead where we took the ATV before. As we set off on the ATV, I try to recapture the joy I felt at that time. I wasn’t even engaged to Drake yet, but our relationship held so much promise. Now we are engaged, but the intrusion of Megan has marred my happiness and I’m struggling.
We speed along the dirt road and I try to force all thoughts of Megan out of my mind, but they refuse to go. Gripping the handles on either side of my legs, I allow myself to analyze my feelings as we race along. I make a mental list of all the things about this situation that upset me.
I’ll become an instant mother.
Megan—a woman Drake slept with in the past—will become a permanent part of our lives.
Drake and I will miss out on that honeymoon phase of only focusing on the two of us.
In every decision we make, we’ll have to consider the baby and the effect our decision will have on him.
Though I’ll be his wife, I won’t be the only woman to give Drake a child.
As I finish my list, I realize my eyes have filled with tears, but since I’m wearing goggles, there’s nothing I can do about it just then.
Trees surround us, and though I find comfort in the beauty of nature, I’m devastated that my fairytale love story, the fantasy that I latched onto the night I was first intimate with Drake, has run into such an overwhelming obstacle.
Can you still be happy with him?
The question takes me by surprise. But as my gaze goes to the back of his head, to his powerful shoulders and strong back, I think of how good he’s been to me, of how much I love him. We’ve both made choices in our lives—and those choices are now leading to serious consequences—but I know this is something we can get through together.
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 53
