by Claire Adams
"He is," I nodded. "But he thought that starting a car repair business out of our home would give him a new line of income and help pay off some debt. The problem is that he's a terrible businessman and we're constantly losing money on the business. I've asked him to hire an assistant or let me do the billing, but he's too proud to let anyone help, so..."
"That's really hard," he said as he picked up his cup and sipped the hot liquid.
"We were too young when we got married," I sighed as I tried to shift the course of the conversation to get away from the uncomfortable financial situation I was in. It felt embarrassing to talk with Austin about something so personal. "Everyone said so, but we were stubborn and believed we could beat the odds. Wait, what about you? You can't have been a monk all these years!"
"Oh, I'm no monk," he said with a rueful smile. "I'm definitely not a monk. I like women, and I have a number of women friends who keep me company when they're not busy with other guys, but..." he trailed off.
"But what?" I asked quietly. "Did somebody break your heart?'
"Who me?" he said surprised. "I don't have a heart! C'mon, lady, you know that!"
I laughed loudly and shook my head. "Oh no you don't! That's a complete lie!"
"No, but seriously," he said looking at me. "It's not heartbreak that made me the way I am. I've loved girls, but not been in love with them. I think it's because I watched my mother and I knew somewhere deep inside that she was in love with my father and that he loved her, but the situation was impossible, so they learned to live with what they had."
"So, you were shaped by a love that couldn't be," I said wistfully.
"No, it was a love that did exist, it's just that they chose not to pursue it," Austin said. "I still can't quite figure out why. I mean, my father could have seen my mother any time he wanted, despite being married. And, my mother won't talk about it. All I can figure out is that my mother drew a line in the sand and never backed down."
"So, that is where you get your stubborn nature from!" I laughed.
"Oh yes, it's a trait that runs strong on both sides," he said and grinned.
"Good to know," I nodded.
"Emily, I know it might sound weird to say this, but is there any way I can help you out of this situation?" he asked.
"Oh, no. Thank you, though," I said quickly. There was no way I was going to allow Austin to bail Tommy and me out of the mess we were in. We'd find a way, somehow.
"Alright, well, if you find you need help, please let me know," he said sincerely. "I'll help you in any way I can. No strings attached."
"You're very kind," I said smiling.
I looked out the window of the jet that was taking me back to Las Vegas and Austin pulled me into his arms just before the plane had landed. There was a deep warmth in his touch and he simply held me tightly to him as he caressed my hair. Before he let go, he lifted my chin and kissed my forehead as he smiled and said, "Soon. I know it will all work out soon."
I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get it. Dealing with Tommy had become a crapshoot and I was worried about what I would find when I got home. I could feel the tears welling up as I looked out into the night sky and watched the lights below fade into the darkness.
#
When I walked into the house, I knew things had not gone well while I had been away. There were pizza boxes stacked high in the corner of the living room and the kitchen floor was covered in a sticky substance that caused my shoes to adhere to the floor with every step. There were dished piled in the sink, and some looked like they had begun to grow mold. The house smelled like a combination of rancid food and body odor, but there wasn't a body in sight.
"Tommy?" I called as I unstuck my feet from the kitchen floor and walked back toward the bedroom. "Tommy, are you home?"
I opened the door to the bedroom and was assaulted by the smell of sweat and something I didn't recognize. Tommy was dead asleep in the bed covered only by a sheet. He was snoring so loudly I was positive he would wake himself up.
"Tommy Warner!" I shouted over the sound of his snores as I ripped the sheet off of him and shook his shoulder. "WAKE UP!"
"Huh? Wha? Oh, hey Em," he smiled sleepily and rolled over to face me. He squinted up at me and covered his eyes with his arm. "When did you get home?"
"Just now," I said in a stern voice. "What in the hell has happened to our home?"
"Don't get all worked up about it, I just had a few friends over," he said in a thick voice as he waved his other arm at me. "I'll clean it all up in the morning."
"Tommy, that wasn't just from last night," I said. "You haven't cleaned anything since I left! This house is a disaster!"
"Hey, hey, hey, don't get your panties in a twist, babe," he said turning over to look at me. "I told you I would clean it up!"
"Tommy," I said quietly. "This isn't working."
"What are you talking about?" he said. "What's not working?"
"You and me, this," I said in a sad voice. "We're not working. Our marriage isn't working. Nothing is working."
"Emily, Emily, Emily," he said as he sensed the seriousness in my voice and raised himself up to look at me. "What do you mean, we're not working?"
"I mean," I said as I took a deep breath. "I don't want to be married to you anymore."
"What the hell?" he yelled. "What in the hell are you even talking about? Where did this come from?"
"I'm not happy, Tommy," I said. "I haven't been happy for a long time. And, I don't think you're happy, either, or you wouldn't drink so much."
"I'm happy as hell, what are you talking about?" he shouted as he pulled himself up out of bed and stood naked in the middle of the room looking for a pair of shorts. I spied them on the chair in the corner and pointed toward them.
"I'm not happy, Tommy," I repeated.
"So what are you saying?" he yelled as he pulled his shorts on. "Are you saying you're leaving me? Because if you're leaving me, that's really crappy, Em. Really small, you know."
"I know," I said nodding my head in agreement. "I know it feels crappy, but I want out, Tommy. I want my own life back. This life is your life, not mine. I don't want to live this life."
"Wait, so now you're telling me that when I had a shot at the majors you were willing to ride the train with me, but now that I'm out of play, you're done?" he said in a low angry tone. He was getting worked up and I could feel the anger building. He was hurt and felt like I was abandoning him, but I knew that I had to do this to save myself. I couldn't save him. I'd tried, but he had proven that he didn't want to be saved.
"It's not like that at all, and you know it, Tommy," I said gently scolding him. "You know I support you no matter what you do."
"You just don't want to be married to me anymore," he said in a very small voice.
"Correct," I nodded. "I want my own life back."
"And, I'm not part of that life," he said.
"No, you're not," I replied honestly. "Not anymore."
"But I was at one time, wasn't I?" he asked.
"At one time," I nodded. "Back when we were young and foolish and had dreams of something better."
"Well, will you at least stay and help me get this place cleaned up?" he begged. I knew he was looking for a way to extend our time together, and even though I knew I was on my way out, I felt like I owed it to him to help before I left.
"Yes, I'll stay and help clean the place up and then we can talk about how we are going to deal with this," I replied.
"Will you come sleep in the bed with me?" he asked as he lay down on his side of the bed and gestured to my side.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Tommy," I said. "I'll sleep in the guest room and in the morning, I'll make us breakfast and we can talk about how to clean this place up."
"Oh Em, please don't leave me!" Tommy cried suddenly. "I don't want you to leave me!"
I felt my heart cracking a little as I looked at him, nodded, and said, "I know you don't, but I
have to."
I walked out the door and down the hallway where I opened the guest bedroom door and looked around. It wasn't the glamorous hotels I was used to sleeping in, but it would do until I could figure out a way to clean up the mess that my marriage had become.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Austin
I stopped over in L.A. to meet up with Bax before heading to Vegas to visit the casino and check in with the managers who would be training the Paris crews. When I saw my friend in the lobby of the Marks Hotel on Rodeo Drive, I smiled and pounded him on the back just like we'd done when we were kids.
"Bax!" I called. "Good to see you, my friend."
"Hey, boss," he smiled as he looked up from a stack of papers he was reading. Bax had always been a serious person, even when we were kids. The neighborhood kids had called him "The Accountant" because he'd dressed in pants with creases down the front and buttoned up shirts, no matter what the season was. He wore thick-rimmed glasses and his smiles rarely reached his eyes, but I knew why Bax was so serious. I was the only one who'd seen what the inside of the home he'd shared with his father while we were growing up. Bax's mother had died in childbirth and his father was a hard working, hard drinking union laborer, but the place was like a mausoleum and we were warned not to touch anything. Once a week, Bax's dad had a cleaning woman come in and dust, vacuum, and do the laundry, but that was the extent of any kind of a woman's touch in the home.
I forgave Bax his shortcomings because he'd been my best friend since we were nine. He'd defended me against the neighborhood bully by telling him that I'd hooked up with the gang that ran the drug trade in front of our neighborhood bodega and the bully had never bothered me again. Bax was loyal and smart, and I loved him like a brother.
"So, what's up with Daniel and his henchmen?" I asked as I signaled the waiter to bring us a couple of glasses of whiskey and two cold beers.
"I'm trying to figure out what kind of game he's playing over in Eastern Europe," Bax said as he looked back and forth between two sheets of paper comparing numbers. "But I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what the heck he's doing!"
Daniel Wentworth had driven both of us crazy for years, but he hadn't actually gotten in the way of any projects until now. We knew that he was a slick, crafty businessman and that if he was opposing us, then there was something going on we didn't know about. Bax accepted the drink from the waiter and we toasted to our Parisian endeavor.
"I don't know, boss," Bax said. "I can't find anything on this Berlin deal that indicates that there's anything out of order there."
"Nothing at all?" I asked.
"Not a single paperclip," he sighed. "My gut tells me that there's so much more than meets the eye, but my eyes can't find the loose thread."
"Well, keep looking," I said as I sipped my whiskey and tried to think of another way to approach the problem. "Eventually, we'll figure it out, the truth always outs."
Just then, I looked up and saw a familiar shapely blonde crossing the lobby and walking toward me. I smiled as I held out my hand, "Anna! How have you been, beautiful?"
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Austin Marks and company!" she laughed as she gripped my hand and pulled me to her for a hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Business," I said, nodding toward Bax. "This is Jonathan Baxter, or as I call him, Bax. Bax, I'd like you to meet Anna Sommerhill."
"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Sommerhill," Bax said as he took her hand and shook it.
"Oh, please, call me Anna, won't you?" she stared at Bax like she'd never seen anything like him before. Admittedly, Bax was movie star handsome, but in a shy unassuming way. Women often fell head over heels for him, but he regularly failed to notice. He was a numbers guy to the core.
"Sure, Anna, it's still nice to meet you," Bax said in a serious tone.
"Aren't you adorable?" Anna said as she moved around and sat down next to him on the chaise lounge. "Where did you find him, Austin?"
"Austin and I have been best friends since we were nine, Ms...Anna," Bax replied. "He didn't find me anymore than I found him. We're just good friends."
She recoiled as if she'd been stung, but then leaned in closer and said, "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, Mr. Baxter?"
"Why would I want to do that?" he asked.
"Because I think you are the most interesting man I've ever met and I would like to get to know you better," she said as she lightly rested her hand on his thigh. Suddenly, the lights in Bax's head went on and his eyes widened as he looked over at me. I smiled and nodded.
"Then, I'd love to have dinner with you, Anna," he said. "But please, call me Bax."
"Bax, eh?" she said smiling as her hand moved a little higher. "That's kind of a sexy nickname you know."
He swallowed hard and looked to me for help, I shrugged, got up from the chair, and said, "Well, I've got some phone calls to make. You kids have a great time!"
"Austin?" Bax called after me. "Don't forget to call Benoit and find out what they decided!"
"Done!" I waved as I walked to the front door and hoped into the waiting car. I had someplace I knew I needed to be.
#
As the car whisked me to the airport to catch my flight, I pulled out my phone and texted Emily.
Austin_Marks: Hi
Em_Flies: Hi
Austin_Marks: What are U wearing?
Em_Flies: WTF?
Austin_Marks: JK. How are U?
Em_Flies: Good.
Austin_Marks: Just good?
Em_Flies: Fine. How are U?
Austin_Marks: Good. On way to Vegas. Have breakfast w/me tomorrow?
Em_Flies: Don't think that's a good idea.
Austin_Marks: Please?
Em_Flies: Where?
Austin_Marks: Pick U up at 7:30 am. Address?
Em_Flies: Not a good idea. I'll meet U. Address?
Austin_Marks: Marks Hotel on Las Vegas Blvd.
Em_Flies: CU in the morning.
Austin_Marks: CU then!
#
The next morning, I looked up from the newspaper and saw Emily crossing the lobby. She was dressed in a sundress the color of a clear summer sky and had her hair loose around her shoulders. She smiled at me as she walked toward me and when she reached me, I stood up and pulled her into a tight hug.
"I've missed you," she whispered into my chest as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Likewise," I said as I hugged her a little tighter.
She sat down next to me and we laughed as we both began to speak.
"No, you first," she said.
"No, no, go ahead," I laughed as I waved my arm in a traditional display of chivalry.
"I'm so glad you texted," she began.
The smile on her face grew wider as she spoke, and she told me about what she had been doing to try and get the house ready for sale. Tommy had agreed to a separation, but he wanted to stay in the house and work on it together before they put it up for sale. She'd agreed, thinking that it was the least she could do before she exited the marriage. Things had been fairly smooth for the past several weeks, but Tommy was still Tommy and so he went out sometimes and came home smelling of booze and sometimes other women. Emily consoled herself with the fact that she'd be out of the house by the end of the month and then could move on with her life.
"Are you alright?" I asked. I was concerned about her safety, but I knew it wasn't my place to take a stand on that issue.
"Oh yes, I'm fine," she said. "There's nothing to worry about, it's just the tough part of breaking up, you know?"
I nodded, but didn't say that I had no idea what she was talking about. I'd never broken up with anyone in my life. The girls I'd dated had all broken up with me when they realized that my focus was on school and then, later, the business. It never really bothered me because I didn't let myself get attached enough to feel hurt when they left. I just let go gracefully and moved on.
"So, did you clear the whole day for me?" I asked excit
ed about what I'd planned for us to do.
"Wait, what?" she said confused. "I thought we were just having breakfast and catching up."
"No, I planned a whole day full of activities for us," I said as I smiled at her.
"Austin, I'm not sure this is a good idea," she said hesitantly. "I mean, you and me? Here in my hometown? Where my husband lives and works?"
"Where is he today?" I asked.
"He's at work, of course," she said. "But you're the boss and this is a little weird, don't you think?"
I could see that the stress of me being here in her actual life was getting to her, so I backed off and said, "It's fine, no worries. Let's just enjoy breakfast and then we'll see what we want to do after that, okay?"
She nodded and I saw the tension recede a little. I had ordered the chef's special for us both and Emily laughed with delight as plate after plate began to be delivered to the table.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so stuffed!" she cried as she took one last bite of the eggs in front of her before the server removed them and set a plate of steaming hot crepes down in its place. I watched as she savored each of the dishes and then offered her bites of my own. She gladly accepted the offerings, and she smiled when I reached out under the table and rested my hand on her thigh.
"You like it all?" I asked.
"I love it! You're a great foodie, Austin," she smiled as she tucked a piece of ripe melon between her lips. The juice ran down her chin and I reached out with my napkin to blot it. She was mesmerizing.
After we'd finished breakfast, I looked at my watch and said, "It's still early, how about we go do one of the things I'd planned?"
"Austin," she said hesitating. "I'm not sure..."
"It won't put you in a compromising position, I promise," I said putting my hand over my heart then raising it up to the air. She burst into giggles as I held my hand up in a perfect Boy Scout salute.
"Okay, fine," she agreed. "This one thing, let's go do it."
I smiled and offered her my hand as I stood up. We walked out to the waiting car and got inside. Once inside the car, I pulled her to me and put my arms around her.
