Over the weeks since we had met we had been up and down more times than The Screamer, the park’s rollercoaster and main attraction. Though it could be argued the main attraction was the waltzer when Micah was on duty. From me tripping on my shoelace and landing on him, to our fun filled shifts together, to the disastrous bet fiasco, to his subsequent apology, him buying me the phone, to him messing up with the money…he was making me giddy, but in a good way.
I was beginning to open up, to really open up and as a result I was growing as a person, growing in confidence and happier than I had been in…well, happier than I had ever been.
I had a life, a job I loved, my freedom, friends, money to call my own and the most gorgeous man in the whole world actually wanting to be with me. I truly believed nothing would ever bring me down again, because I believed that if anything ever threatened to, Micah would have my back, and anything that threatened to hurt me he would squash like a bug under his shoe.
Without realising it, I had begun to trust him more than I had ever thought myself capable of.
So the sheer emotional agony I felt when I walked into the park that night and caught him with his hands all over one of the girls from the dodgems – Amy her name was – kissing her neck the same way he had kissed mine, I can’t even begin to explain.
I had just been walking through the park, in no hurry because I was half an hour early meeting Micah from his shift when I heard the giggle coming from behind the waltzer. Naturally my eye was drawn that way, and what I saw made all the blood in my body seemingly turn to ice in my veins. I could have cried right there on the spot if I hadn’t been so numbed by what I was seeing.
Amy had her back up against the back of the ride and he had his hands on her hips, grinding into her and kissing her neck furiously down to the top of her cleavage.
Ordinarily I would have hurried along, a little embarrassed to have intruded on such a private moment but there was something about the man that had stopped me in my tracks. Even from behind I recognised him. His build, his stance, his shiny black hair. There was something different about him, something I couldn’t put my finger on, but my head already knew what my heart refused to acknowledge just yet. My heart was still in denial, until Amy finally spoke – no, purred – into his ear and simultaneously broke my heart.
“Ooh…Mr Machvaya, we must stop meeting like this. Mmm, I’ll give you a lifetime to quit that…”
The responding chuckle was the knife twisting into my already shattered heart. “Mmm, you love it.”
“Yeah, but still you…oh, fuck…”
It took me a second or two to catch up that Amy had clocked me standing there. She was trying to shove him off; he was having far too much fun trying to devour her breasts to comply.
“Amy, what?” he muttered, frustration evident in his tone. He pulled away from her and his eyes locked with mine.
There was something different about him, something I couldn’t place, but I was too upset to think too deeply about it. Still I could only stand and stare at them both.
And then he smiled at me, more of a smirk, and that was the trigger that had me turning on my heel and running away from the sight before my eyes, a sight I was sure would be burned in my memory forever. The day that the universe righted itself and put me back in my place.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
The fairground at night is a truly beautiful place. It’s filled with happiness and good vibes. Music, wonderful smells and life. The lights everywhere are just beautiful if you take the time to stop and look around you, to look up.
There is something ominous and eerie and utterly romantic about an old fairground. They seem to soak up history and hold it all like a sponge. Like years of joy, laughter and fun all stay and seep into the big wheel and the carousel and all the other rides. And each night these emotions explode in a kaleidoscope of colour, lights and sounds for new people to come and feel and add to. It’s a special place, a place for childhood memories, romantic encounters and for dreams to come true.
For me, it’s where I met the man of my dreams and fell in love…with him, and with myself.
It’s where I was reborn……..but now….it could be where I was broken.
I stood in the middle of the park in a total trance, oblivious to everything but those beautiful lights, and felt my heart breaking. I loved this place so much; it had come to mean the world to me. It had been the place that had saved me and given me a new life and it had occurred to me that if my feet ever found the energy to move forward, I would have to walk out the gate and never come back. How could I work here now?
And yet, almost beyond my conscious awareness, my feet were already moving, slowly but surely, until I found myself standing in front of the waltzer, just staring up at it, as though trying to work out how I got there.
“Jewls…?” I vaguely heard Alex say. “You okay, Jewls? Mic, get over here, she’s crying I think…”
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
I followed Alex’s gaze down onto the grass next to the ride and sure enough, there she was, standing just looking up at the ride. In the lights flashing around her I could see her eyes sparkling. She just stood there, staring at nothing in particular. Something about her stance and those obvious tears in her eyes made my blood run cold and I jumped down all the steps in one, standing before her.
“Jewls?”
Her eyes turned to mine, and she looked at me like I was a complete stranger. Not just a stranger, but one she didn’t particularly like. The fact that she still hadn’t said anything didn’t sit well with me at all. I reached out a hand to touch her arm and she shrugged me off violently.
“Don’t touch me.” she hissed aggressively.
I moved my hand away again. “What’s wrong?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re actually gonna do it.”
“Do what?” I asked. I had no clue what the hell she was on about, and she seemed in no hurry to elaborate and put me out of my misery.
Christ, what have I done now?
“Pretend.”
I sighed, trying so hard not to lose my patience, but damned if she wasn’t testing it. “Pretend what?”
She slapped me then, for the second time in our up and down relationship and this time she didn’t hold back at all. The force behind that slap was incredible, almost knocking me sideways. I looked at her incredulously, throwing both hands in the air.
“Christ, what the hell was that for?”
“You know fine well!” she screamed. “Do me a favour and stay the fuck away from me, right? Never talk to me again!”
“Jewls, what am I supposed to have done?” I asked, trying hard to contain my rising emotions. I was frustrated, angry and scared all in one go.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
Was he for real? Although the anger was a welcome distraction from the heartache, I can’t deny it still hurt like hell. And his attitude was hurting me almost as much as what I had seen behind the ride.
“Well…I guess you can take the boy out of the gypsy, but you can’t take the gypsy out of the boy, huh?” I snapped. That was below the belt, but I couldn’t help myself. I was mad, but more than that, deeply hurt. Scratch that, devastated.
He frowned, clearly offended. He grabbed my arm and practically dragged me round the corner from the ride, out of the way of all the eyes on us. Of course he did – he didn’t want his adoring public finding out what an utter twat he was.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrugged. “Well…you boys can’t sit still, can you? You have to move on; it’s in your blood. Only with you, instead of packing up your stuff, your…your proverbial caravan…you move from woman to woman, sowing your wild oats! And instead of breaking bones in bar brawls you break hearts. And instead of thieving scrap metal from people’s back gardens, you walk right into my life, steal my heart from under my fucking nose and make me care about you…and th
en stamp on the pieces and walk away when you’re through! I know what you did Micah, and who with. I know…you kissed Amy.”
He didn’t seem as shocked by my revelation as I thought he would be, and that should have been my first clue that something wasn’t right. But in my defence I had been waiting for this to happen right from the start. I just couldn’t find it in me to believe that someone like me could ever be enough for someone like him. That sooner or later he would naturally move on, once the novelty wore off. It wasn’t him I didn’t have faith in though, not really. It was me.
There was a horrible silence and then rather than try to explain himself, or start apologising like I had expected, he scowled at me.
“You know, Jewls…for someone who hates stereotypes, you sure are doing a great job of shoving me in a box based on what I was born in to. Now I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, but it seems you’ve already made your mind up about me, which is a shame. So if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go get in my van, find some scrap metal to pillage, and then go drink some beers with my brothers while we decide who’s heart is getting broke this week. And you can go home, eat a whole tub of ice cream and kid yourself that we’re done before we’ve even properly started because of something you think I’ve done, instead of your misplaced insecurities and ridiculous body hang ups.”
And with that, he turned to walk away. And Christ, I really didn’t want him to leave. Even though he was just breaking my heart with his games, the masochist in me didn’t want him to walk away, no matter how much it hurt. I couldn’t decide what hurt more – him betraying me, or me losing him because of it.
“I know you kissed her, I saw it with my own eyes, Micah!” I said, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Unless you have an identical twin, you can’t really deny it, can you?”
He screwed his face up, frustrated and squeezed his lips together, deep in thought. His eyes shifted behind me and widened, just fleetingly and he seemed to come to a decision.
“Come with me a minute.”
I groaned, fed up now. Why couldn’t he just leave it, it was done – finished. “Micah…”
“Please, just fucking come with me, Jewls.” He snapped. “You wanted an explanation, I have it. Come. Now.”
I sighed but didn’t protest when he grabbed my hand, practically dragging me across the car park to a large white van, opening the passenger door to whoever was inside, I couldn’t see them properly yet.
“Jewls,” he said, his tone irritated, “I would like you to meet three of my brothers. This is Kris, Luca…and this fuckwit here is Marco. Boys, this is my girlfriend, Jewls.”
I looked up properly, wondering why he would chose now of all times to introduce me to his family, and as his girlfriend. Now, when as far as I was concerned we were done with.
“Well hello there…” Luca said with a grin.
Kris nudged him jokingly and winked holding out his hand. “Pleasure, Jewls…”
I shook it, mesmerised. The third brother, Marco, just smirked at me, and it was oh so familiar that smirk. His I’m gonna go drink some beers with my brothers comment finally registered. But hang on; did Micah say three of his brothers? Just how many brothers were there? Hadn’t he mentioned another one, uh…Nic? Looking at Marco, everything slotted into place.
Micah had at least three brothers, all dark and handsome like him, but it was Marco who had me stunned into a rare silence.
Micah was a God to me, a beautiful man who broke the mould as far as I was concerned. And there were two of him. Two of him.
“Oh yeah…” Micah said, and I just knew he was loving this, loving the look of dumbfounded shock on my face, “and Marco is my twin. My identical twin. Probably the culprit in this whole fucking mess.”
“Fuck…” I muttered, and the boys all laughed. I couldn’t help but smile too. Because I got it now, I understood.
“Marco, you’re an utter dickhead.” Micah said to his twin, who just grinned at him.
“What did I do? It was just a kiss. Anyway bro, you finished now? Want a lift home?”
Micah shook his head. “No, I gotta stay and fix this. I’ll be home later, right? Tell Mari to save me some tea I’ll eat when I get home.”
Marco saluted him and started the engine up. “Righto, Micah. Later. Nice to meet you, Jewls.”
And before I could respond, the van was gone.
I stood for a moment in shock, and then slowly turned to Micah, who was just watching me, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Are you okay now, Jewls?”
I shrugged slowly. “I guess. I’m sorry, okay?”
He shook his head. “No need. I should have warned you about Marco. He looks like me but he behaves like an alley cat. Me on the other hand…I just see you, I have no desire to kiss anyone but you.”
“You’re mad.” I said, as more of a statement than a question.
He shook his head. “No, not at all. Relieved. To be able to show you that you were wrong before I lost you for good.”
“So you have brothers…” I said, with no idea what else to say.
He nodded, still with that little smile on his face. “Yes I do. I have five brothers. Marco, my twin. Nicoli – but call him that at your peril, he prefers Nic. He’s the eldest. Elijah is next, Eli. Then Luca and Kristov – they’re really close like me and Marco, but then there’s only eleven months between them. Call him Kris. Oh and then there’s my little sis, Marisol. For God’s sake call her Mari; she says Marisol makes her sound like a detergent.”
“Huh…” I said, as a sort of involuntary sound. I was blown away. Six boys and one girl. Seven kids! “What’s with the names? I mean why don’t they like being called by their full names?”
“Because of the stigma. You know, like I was saying? The stereotypical assumption that comes with the gypsy tag?”
I blushed crimson. “I said I was sorry.”
He sighed. “I know. It’s okay, it’s just…do you think you’ll ever trust me? I mean shit, Jewls…all I want is to take you out and you act like it’s the million dollar question, like it’s life and death! Go out with me, Jewls. On a date, like normal human beings. Stop acting like I’m some sort of huge risk, I’m just a normal lad! Not the bad guy you seem determined to prove I am! Stop trying to sabotage things!”
“I can’t help but sabotage it!” I yelled. “Cause I don’t think I can trust you, and it’s not your fault. You’ve done all you can. It might be time we called this a day, cut our losses.”
“No…” he said, his tone insistent.
“What?”
“I said…no. I’m not giving up. I’m sticking this out, seeing it through!”
“Who says that’s even your decision to make?!” I yelled.
“Why are you even still fucking mad at me? I didn’t do anything wrong remember? I didn’t kiss Amy!”
“I’m mad cause you’re still fucking smiling!”
“Course I am! Cause this is absurd! Cause I can see the funny side, see how ridiculous this is!”
“God, Micah! You’re such a…a fucking…hammer!”
Urgh, me and my stupid mouth. He raised both eyebrows, still with that arrogant smile on his stupid, pretty face.
“A hammer?”
“Yes Micah, a hammer! A fucking hammer!”
“Jewls…you’re calling me a hammer, are you serious?” he was doubled over, his arms wrapped around his stomach, laughing so hard. Bastard. “Do you mean a tool?”
“What? Oh…well yeah…yes Micah, you’re a fucking tool, you know what I mean! Stop bloody laughing at me!”
He stood up straight again, arms outstretched either side of him. “What did I do now!?”
“You know what! Quit bugging me, trying to make us into more than we are, telling me how it’s gonna be, trying to control me. Its borderline harassment! I don’t know what you want, but I won’t be part of your silly game, or whatever it is! I’m not a mug, and I’m not falling for it! It’s cruel and I don’t deserve it!”
“How many times? I’m not playing games! I like you, the bet was a dumb mistake, are you ever gonna let it go? It only happened because Alex could see how much I liked you! Christ, all I did was ask you out! I just wanna take you out, damn it!”
“Oh yeah, sure! You just wanna ask me out! Cause lads like you, really go out with girls like me, don’t they?”
“What do you mean, girls like you? You think you’re too good for me? Is that it?”
I frowned. What? “No, Micah! If anything…” I shook my head, remembering my promise to be nicer to myself. “Never mind. Just stop! Stop playing games with me, not with me. I know this is all some sort of…I know you’re poking fun at me and it’s not funny, okay? I’m sure this is amusing, me going all nuclear, give you all something to have a right good laugh at, but it needs saying. You got to me, okay? You poked and you prodded and here, you have the reaction. Now leave me alone. Your sort…you’re just…I know what you are…”
He narrowed his eyes and now he looked pissed. What right did he have to be mad?
“And what exactly am I?”
“A player, Micah. You may not have kissed Amy, but you’ve slept your way around this park no doubt, slept with everyone except me. And I know why…because I’m not like them, am I? I’m…different…but you…you’re…you’re a tart!”
Back to the amused face. Could he not see the tears rolling down my cheeks? Was he really that shallow as to not care that he had broken me in such a public way, humiliated me? As soon as I could shake him off, I was out of here and I could never come back. No way could I work with him, not now.
“A tart?”
“Yes! And I’m done here, done with you! It’s finished.”
He crinkled his eyebrows in an amused frown and half smiled. “Let me get this straight. I just wanna make sure I have this right – you’re dumping me?”
Gypsy Kiss: Book 1: Micah (The Gypsy Kiss Series) Page 12
