I blinked awake early. The sun was already shining through the window, but it had that early morning hue about it, and I guessed the time to be roughly seven.
And then I realised, I wasn’t in my bedroom. I didn’t recognise my surroundings, the plain white walls or the lilac lightweight curtains flapping in the breeze from the slightly open window.
I sat bolt upright, trying to ignore the bolt of pain that elicited seemingly from the very centre of my brain and frowned, trying to focus on the night before and find a coherent memory to explain where the hell I was.
I glanced to my left, to be met with a sleeping Jewls, curled up around the duvet. I wish I had registered then that she was fully clothed. All I seemed to latch on to was that I was only wearing underwear and I was in Jewls’ bed. I had a vague recollection of being out with Marco and that I had arranged to go and see Jewls after. That we had possibly had the same thing in mind – to take things to the next level.
Oh, but God…I couldn’t remember a damn thing and so I found myself praying that we hadn’t…that I hadn’t…not so drunk that I couldn’t even remember it. I wanted so much more, so much better for our first time than that.
I cautiously lay back down beside her, so we were lying facing each other, and I just watched her sleep for a while. God damn the girl was beautiful, she made my heart leap up into my mouth every time I looked at her.
She had a serious case of bed hair, it looked squashed against her face on the pillow side and the rest looked like it had been backcombed. She was blowing bubbles in her sleep, possibly the cutest thing I had ever seen and when I used the back of a finger to wipe the drool from the side of her mouth, she hummed in response to my touch, drawn to me even in sleep.
God I felt so bad. When she woke up and realised what had happened last night, and worse, that I couldn’t even remember it…God, this was the fuck up to end all fuck ups. She deserved so much better than this. I didn’t know what I was going to say, ‘morning Jewls, hope you slept well…oh, by the way, did we erm…do anything last night, I can’t remember if we did or not?’ Jesus, what a nightmare.
She stirred then and blinked awake, making eye contact with me immediately, a lazy smile spreading across her face. That was the point I should have smiled back, scooped her into my arms and wished her a good morning. But it was early, and I was hung-over, so when I opened my mouth, the first thing that popped out was,
“Please tell me we didn’t sleep together.”
Her smile was gone in a millisecond and she actually flinched at those words. Jesus, why had I said that? She sat up and I made to grab her hand, stop her bolting but missed by a matter of millimetres as she stood up and walked away from the bed, stopping with her back to me. And at last I registered she was still dressed. I closed my eyes, letting out a deep sigh.
“Jewls, I didn’t mean that how it sounded. I didn’t mean it would be bad if we…I mean I was drunk and I can’t remember what we…if we…”
She let out a sigh and turned to me, obviously forcing a brave face, despite the tears I could see threatening. “Relax. You didn’t lower yourself to sleeping with me, Micah. You did just that…slept. You were unconscious, all night. Okay?”
“I didn’t mean…”
“No, I know,” she said, waving a hand dismissively in my direction. “I’m gonna have a quick shower, I start at eight today. What time are you on?”
“Uh…nine.” I croaked. “I’ll uh…come along with you.”
She shook her head again. Her face was expressionless and I could practically see the wall she was building between us. She had never been so cold to me, but I knew she was protecting herself.
“No, you might as well grab another hour, try and ditch the hangover, huh. Marco brought you here at one. You passed out on my bed. Must have been a heavy one if you can’t remember…uh…”
“Yeah, it was…” I muttered regretfully. She simply nodded at that, turned on her heel and disappeared into the hall. I heard the bathroom door shut and lock and I flopped my head back on the pillow, letting out a low groan.
I was such a fucking idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
I slammed the bathroom door shut and slid the lock across to stop him coming in after me and closed my eyes, finally allowing a couple of tears to slip out.
Sometimes I found myself thinking Micah was just…perfect. Like when he kissed me, or squeezed my hand and hugged me affectionately at work, or like the night before when I had watched him peacefully sleeping.
But as I had known from the start he also had the power to really, really hurt me. And sometimes, he really did hurt me, he cut like a knife. The look of horror on his face at the sheer thought that we might have done something…more…God, that hurt like hell. I couldn’t even look him in the eye after that, I felt utterly deflated and humiliated. I didn’t know how I was going to go back out there after that.
Thankfully I had left my uniform in the bathroom, and some laundry was drying on the radiator in there, so I had everything I needed and wouldn’t have to go back into the bedroom at all.
I stripped off, turned on the shower and climbed in to wash away my tears.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
I must have dozed again for a while, because when I opened my eyes again, it was almost eight, and I just knew she had left, I couldn’t feel her presence at all. I felt really bad about what I had said, but I had apologised and made clear I hadn’t meant it how it had come out and really, there was nothing else I could do. I remembered telling her I was bound to make mistakes sometimes, that I was human and whereas she could let me know when I was an idiot, or I had done something wrong, she was going to have to cut me some slack and not just write me off, I wouldn’t get it right all the time, no one does. I hoped she would remember that conversation now, and not blow this up into something more serious than it was. When I got to work I would explain myself better and clear the air and it would be fine.
It suddenly dawned on me my uniform was at home and I wasn’t and I leapt out of bed, searching for my clothes and finding them in a neat pile on a chair by the window. I dressed quickly and left, closing the door behind me.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
Micah arrived for work just on time, which wasn’t like him, he was usually early, and he looked more than a little rough, which was unsurprising. Wisely, Alex chose to say nothing to his friend’s dishevelled appearance and instead opted to go fetch us all a coffee, leaving me and Micah in an uncomfortable silence. I busied myself in the waltzer office, shuffling CD’s about and going out of my way not to look at him.
“Jewls…” he started, and then stopped, as though unsure what to say next. I don’t know if it was self-preservation kicking in, but I could feel anger replacing the hurt I had felt when I woke up, and I decided not to let him off the hook easily.
I turned to him, letting out a sigh. “Yes, Micah? What can I do for you?”
He smiled feebly “Forgive me…?”
“For what?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
He paced up and down, agitated and it was then I realised he hadn’t even done his hair. Boy he must be suffering to not have taken his usual precise care with his appearance. As I had thought when I met him, it did indeed have a natural curl to it and without all the gel holding it in place it was shiny, curly and still absolutely gorgeous. I was fighting an urge to reach out and run my fingers through it. He seemed to be agonising over what to say, and I decided not to let him off the hook. It was fun watching him squirm.
“Did I…was I at least…?”
“What?”
He sighed, “Honourable…”
I scoffed before I could stop it. “Honourable?”
“I just…hope I didn’t…I don’t know…do anything to offend you, step over the line.”
I sighed again. “Micah…you wanna know exactly what happened last night? Marco brought you to my place
, asked if I would look after you. We took your clothes off and tucked you in, in my bed. You passed out. I sat on the edge of the bed and you pulled me to you in your sleep. You held me, Micah. All night until the early hours of the morning you held me in your arms and it was the best night’s sleep I’ve had for…years. It meant a lot me and I know that’s stupid but it did…so it’s just…disappointing that you don’t remember even a little bit of it.”
He looked really sad at that, at the idea of having hurt me, and why. “I’m so sorry.”
I nodded, trying to wipe any trace of emotion off my expression. “You’ve said that. It’s no big deal, just…think before you open your mouth in future, yeah?”
He nodded eagerly. “I will, I promise. Please say we’re okay.”
I forced myself to smile, even though it still didn’t feel okay, not to me, and nodded. “We’re okay…”
He smiled brightly and opened his arms. “Can I have a hug?”
I stepped forward and into him arms, allowing him to hold me, determined to stay stiff in his embrace but quickly finding myself sinking into him almost against my will.
We stood like that for a while, just holding each other, his chin resting on the top of my head, me resting against his chest.
“Urgh, put him down Jewls.” Alex muttered playfully, setting three coffees down on his desk. I smiled at him as I pulled myself from Micah’s grip but I noticed Micah shoot him an unimpressed look. “You two sorted whatever was going on then? Cause that was a seriously weird vibe I was getting from you before, I mean I-”
“It’s sorted,” Micah snapped, and gestured to the ride, “Shall we? Ride opens in ten and we need to check it, let’s crack on.”
Alex held his hands up defensively. “Okay, okay. Lead the way, Mr Machvaya.”
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
It was awkward for most of the morning, and in the end I did what I’ve always had an annoying habit of doing…I started questioning myself, blaming myself. Maybe I had overreacted; maybe I had made too big a deal out of nothing…maybe I just needed to let it go. In the end I had just had enough of being so close to him but feeling so far. So, as he walked past me to go change the music, I grabbed his arm, pulled him to me and kissed him furiously. I sensed his surprise before he kissed me back, sliding his hands up by back to interlock behind my head and letting out an mmm of approval. Eventually, he pulled away, grinning.
“What was that for?”
I shrugged playfully. “I can kiss my boyfriend if I want to…right?”
He nodded, surprised and mildly amused. “You certainly can Miss Dempsey. So we’re okay, like…properly?”
“We’re okay.” I said, and I felt like I meant it. Couldn’t deny to myself that it still hurt but really, how much longer could I keep punishing him?
He exhaled and his smile broadened. “Thank God…I really thought I’d completely screwed it up this time. I’m never drinking again.”
“Sure you’re not.” Alex said as he strolled past us, winking at me and nudging Micah’s shoulder playfully. Micah shoved him back a little harder and they tussled playfully as I rolled my eyes at them both.
Boys.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
The rest of the shift was much, much better. I finished an hour before Micah but agreed to wait for him so we could go grab something to eat together. As I made my way through the park to the café to wait there was the faint rumble of an incoming storm on its way over the sea, and the first spots of rain fell on a quiet park. By the time I reached the café, the rain was torrential and by the time I stepped inside, I was soaked from head to foot.
Gail, one of the resident waitresses’ grinned and me and shook her head. “Jewls…coffee?”
I nodded eagerly. “Oh God yeah.”
She went around the back of the counter, and set about making my drink. “All done for the day?”
“Yeah,” I glanced outside, “just in time I’d say.”
“Yeah…you want something to eat.”
“Ah not just yet, I’m waiting for Micah; he’ll be along in…” I looked at my watch, “twenty minutes or so, the park’s dead, so he might be able to persuade Alex to finish up.”
She smiled knowingly. “I heard a rumour that you and he are an item now? Is it true?”
I nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
“I’m glad, you make a lovely couple. He’s a good guy, Micah, the best. I’ve known him five years now, and everyone thinks the world of him here, and you. We’re all really happy for you.”
I smiled, genuinely touched. I could tell she meant it. I had never had a chance to talk with anyone else about me and Micah. Everyone apparently knew we were together now, but I wasn’t friends enough with anyone to talk it out, only Alex and you couldn’t have a serious conversation with Alex. I felt like I wanted to ask her more about Micah, but I couldn’t for the life of me think of any questions to ask.
She brought two coffees over and sat opposite me at the table, handing me mine. “I know he has a bit of a…reputation, with the ladies but the truth is…he’s had flings, but he’s never seemed, I don’t know…smitten before. He’s always come across as…respectful to me. He has impeccable manners. The whole reputation thing, don’t let it worry you. Because it’s not that he has a thing for all the ladies, really…it’s that all the ladies have a thing for him.” she grinned. “The man is gorgeous, but then you know that. But like I say, I have never seen him care for someone like he does for you. We all see you both, strolling around the park hand in hand and it’s so, so nice to see you together. You work, you know? You fit.”
I frowned at that and hesitated before asking. “Do we? I mean…do I fit with him? I just never…not in a million years, I feel like I am punching way above my weight.”
She smiled knowingly. “I reckon any girl would feel the same with him. But you’re a beautiful young woman and he's a beautiful young man and together…wow. Trust me, you fit.”
“Are my ears burning?”
We both turned as Micah strolled in, soaking wet from the rain and knockout gorgeous as ever. His wet hair stuck to his forehead, his tee-shirt clinging to seemingly every muscle of his toned chest. I think I was actually salivating and Gail’s eyes were like saucers.
He slid onto the seat beside me, slid an arm over my shoulders and pulled me to him, shaking his hair and spraying me with water.
“Micah!” I half-heartedly scolded. Truth was, I was more than a little distracted by his soaking wet chest in my face.
He flashed me a megawatt smile and winked at Gail. “Afternoon, Mrs Morgan. I would like the daily special, pie and chips…and my lady would like…?” he looked at me expectantly.
“I’ll have the same, please…” I said rolling my eyes at him.
Gail laughed at us both and disappeared into the back. Micah grinned at me and kissed my cheek. “Alex is finishing up. There’s no customers in this weather. Think we should get a taxi home, sweetheart.” He said, glancing outside at the rain that showed no signs of letting up. I shrugged, smiling. No, beaming.
He called you sweetheart.
“You’re not afraid of a little rain, are you? It’s not like it’s cold out, just wet. And the wet look, uh…kinda suits you. Or is it that you don’t like getting your hair messed up?”
He raised both eyebrows, amused. “Oh, and again she attacks my hair. I’m beginning to get a complex, baby. Okay, so we’ll walk home in the rain.” He glanced over at Gail as she came out with two plates and took his arm off my shoulders, rubbing his hands together. “After we’ve eaten.”
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
We ate slowly, in no rush to go out into the rain, and set the world – or rather ourselves – to rights. We just…relaxed in each other’s company. It felt so good to lose the tension, and just…be what we were. Two people who, although we hadn’t said it yet, were in love.
I admit w
holeheartedly that I’m the one who fucked that day up, from the moment we woke up until two days later when she finally talked to me again. She had forgiven me, see? She forgave me for being a prized dick, for turning up on her doorstep drunk, passing out in her bed, not knowing if we had even slept together or not, and then acting like it would be the end of the world if we had. I should have just left the topic alone and never, ever brought it up again.
But…we were getting along so well, and I was caught up in that. We ate, and then we ran out into the deserted park, into the torrential downpour, laughing hysterically at nothing in particular. I grabbed her hand, pulled her to me and stopped in the middle of the grass, kissing her furiously before pulling her away to just look at her. I let out a deep, satisfied sigh.
“Do you wish we had?”
“Wish we had what?”
At that point I should have said it didn’t matter, but what I actually said was, “Slept together. Do you wish we’d done…more last night?”
She flinched and practically pushed me off her, one hand shoving my chest. “What?”
“It’s just a question, Jewls. Do you? Only…I fancy you like mad, I’m crazy about you, and I reckon you feel the same. And I was wondering…whether when I originally planned to come round you were thinking we might…?”
“What sort of question is that?” she snapped and was she…? Yep, she was angry. Again.
I shrugged. “Just a question. No need to get carried away. I’m just curious. Had I not passed out in your bed, would you? Would you have let me…? Only I’m free tonight and totally sober, so if you wanted to…”
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. What can I say, she was soaking wet and I could see her nipples through her top and…I was horny. By and large people would describe me as a very respectful person, I try to be. Had Nic been there at that precise moment he would have kicked my arse if he had heard me. I was thinking with my dick, not my head. That’s the only excuse I have.
Gypsy Kiss: Book 1: Micah (The Gypsy Kiss Series) Page 19
