“I love you,” I said, because I couldn’t remember the last time I said it, and thanks to Rafe, I wanted to say it all the time now. Because it should be said all time. You never knew when it would be the last time.
When was the last time I’d said it to Mom? Before I fell asleep the night she left? Had she been thinking about Silver Moon and demons, when she was tucking me into bed, listening to me babble excitedly about our upcoming trip to Disney World?
Did she say it to me?
She must have.
How many years had I spent wondering if she’d even loved me? Or thinking that a person who loved you wouldn’t leave you like that? All those awful, horrible things I’d said and thought; I wished I could take them back.
“I’m so sorry,” I said again, to both Dad and Mom.
“Come home, Gabi,” he replied softly. “Please come home.”
“I will. I promise. I will.”
Chapter Sixteen
There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. Running a hand through my hair, I slid off the bed and opened the door to see Philip standing on the other side.
My heart leapt at the sight of him. For a split second I worried things would be awkward between us, now that we knew we were related, but then he stepped forward and I dove into his arms, hugging him fiercely.
“Hey,” Philip said, wrapping his arms around me.
I studied him carefully. He was a little pale, but the anger from the day before was gone. “How are you doing?”
“Better. I’m sorry about leaving like that yesterday, but I was so mad I couldn’t see straight.”
I led him into the room, sitting in the desk chair while he sat on the unmade bed. “I get it,” I told him. “I’m just glad you were with Kain. If you’d run off alone, I would have gone crazy worrying about you.”
“Yeah, Kain helped a lot.” Philip ducked his head, but I still saw the sudden flush on his cheeks.
“Oh my god,” I said. “Don’t tell me the two of you spent last night—” I held up a hand. “When I say ‘don’t tell me,’ really, Phil, don’t tell me.”
He scowled at me. “I wasn’t going to! Shit, you’re my little sister, of course I’m not going to share that stuff with you!” As if noticing the unmade bed for the first time, his eyes widened in mock horror. “Wait, don’t tell me you and Rafe—”
“Shut up—of course not—shut up,” I sputtered. Now I was the one blushing.
“Good,” Philip said. “Since I’m your big brother, I need to protect you from stuff like this.” He cracked his knuckles to emphasize his point.
“Protect me from ‘stuff like this’?” I echoed skeptically. “Hell no, Phil. Don’t you dare!”
He laughed, clearly enjoying the way he was making me squirm. “I probably have nothing to worry about. Rafe is too shy to do anything like that.”
“Um, maybe he wanted to, but the bed was just too small,” I shot back.
“Sure.” Philip snorted.
“Well, he did tell me he loved me, okay?” Belatedly, I wondered if I should have kept that to myself, but when Philip’s face broke into a huge grin, I knew I was right to share my good news with him.
“That’s awesome! And…” Philip’s smile grew. “I have some news, too. This morning Kain asked me to move in with him, and I said yes.” It was impossible not to notice how happy that made him.
My eyes widened. “You’re moving out of HQ?”
“Yep.” Philip leaned back, supporting himself with his arms braced behind him on the bed. “I can’t live in HQ anymore. I can’t see Dad, not after what he did. It was bad enough he lied to me when I was a child, telling me she was dead, but then to actually be responsible for her death?” He shook his head. “I can’t pass him in the hallways and pretend like everything is okay. Because it’s not, and I don’t think it’ll ever be. How could he lie to me like that, Gabi? To both of us?”
“I know.” I picked at the hem of my shirt. “And the stuff he was saying? About Mom? How is that even possible? I think I would know if my mom was a freaking sorcerer!”
“Maybe she was just really good at lying to everyone around her.” Philip winced. “Sorry. That was harsh.”
“But it might be true,” I whispered, my eyes starting to burn again. Enough with the tears, Gabi! “I don’t know anything about her, Phil. Everything I thought was true was probably just one giant lie! How could I not know my own damn mother!” When the tears spilled over, I swiped them away impatiently. “God, I’m so tired of crying!”
“Hey, come here.” Standing, Philip pulled me out of my chair and into his arms again. “Gabi, it’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure this out.”
“How? She’s dead.” Just saying the word was enough to make my chest constrict painfully. “We’re never going to learn anything else. She’s gone. Forever.” I squeezed my hands into fists. “And you know what the worst part is? I’ve spent the past seven years wondering how she could be so horrible to just up and leave one night.” More tears stung my eyes, but I fought them back, causing my throat to ache. “I always expected her to show up again, and when the months turned into years, my hope turned into anger and…” I avoided his gaze, ashamed. “Hatred.”
“It’s normal to feel that, though,” Philip said. “Anyone would, in your position.”
“But I still feel awful for thinking those things.”
He hugged me tighter. “Don’t. It’s not your fault. It’s Dad’s, for fighting her. And really, it’s her fault, too, for summoning a demon. Why would she do that? Why would she destroy her life like that? I’ve never understood why someone would want to bring one of those things over here.”
“I thought she was happy,” I said as I leaned my head against his shoulder. “That’s the thing that always bugged me. When she left, I thought the four of us were a happy family. She didn’t fight with Dad, and she was always so loving to me and Chloe. So why the demon? It doesn’t make any sense, Phil, and I hate that we’re never going to know why.” I pulled out of his embrace and sat down on the bed, staring at the faded and dusty rug on the floor. “And you want to hear the weirdest part? Despite everything we’ve learned, I still miss her. I mean, I always have, but today, I really, really miss her. Because she was a good mother. The best.” My voice cracked.
“Will you tell me about her, someday? When you’re ready, and it doesn’t hurt as much?” He couldn’t hide the eagerness from his voice.
“Phil, I think it’s always going to hurt.”
His face fell. “Oh. Sorry, then—”
“But I want to tell you about her,” I said. “I want to tell you everything, so you can have some memories, too. I’m going home, to talk to Dad and Chloe, and I want you to be there.”
“Chloe… I forgot,” Philip said. “I have two sisters now. This is crazy, you know? I’ve always wanted a sibling, and now I have two.” He smiled gently at me, and I returned it. Even though my heart was heavy was grief, I was so happy he was my brother. I felt like I’d won the lottery or something.
“Yeah, well, Chloe is more of a royal pain in the butt than a sibling,” I joked. “I’m the better half of the deal.”
He laughed at that.
“Speaking of better halves,” I said, “where’s Kain? Is he in the other room destroying Evan or something?” That was if Evan had even survived the night. The only time I’d left the room was for another trip to the bathroom; Rafe had brought my bagel to me and I’d eaten it in his bedroom. I assumed he would have told me if Evan was dead or not, but who knew…
“Are you trying to say he’s my better half?” Philip scowled. “And he’s over at HQ, packing some of my stuff up for me. He knew I didn’t want to go there, so…”
“Good. I’d rather him go to HQ than you.”
Philip pulled out his phone and sat down next to me on the bed. “I’ll let him know we’re heading back upstate. He can drop my stuff off at his apartment and meet us at Penn.” But before Philip could type
out a text, his phone began vibrating. “Oh, he’s calling me. Weird.”
“Ugh, you’re, like, on the same brain wave now. How gross.”
Philip poked me in the side and I squealed, jerking away from him. “Hey,” he said into his phone. “Are you still at HQ?” I was close enough to hear a lot of static coming from the phone. Wincing, Philip pulled it away from his ear and hit the speaker button. “Kain? You there?”
“Philip,” Kain said over the static, “there’s something wrong. There’s…magic…large…” The static disrupted his words, making him hard to understand. “I think…HQ…attack—”
Over the phone, we heard a deafening roar that quickly gave way to utter silence.
Philip was gripping the phone so hard his knuckles turned white. “Kain? Kain!” He redialed, and a recording came on, asking him to leave a message. “Shit!” Philip swore loudly as he continued to redial.
“What’s going on?” Rafe appeared in the doorway, looking concerned. “Gabi?”
I sucked in a shaky breath, my heart racing. “Rafe, I think…
“I think an explosion just went off in HQ.”
Chapter Seventeen
Rafe stared at me, his eyebrows lifting in disbelief. “What?”
“I was just talking to Kain,” Philip said, already moving toward the hallway. “He’s at HQ, and we couldn’t understand what he was saying, and then there was this noise—”
I grabbed Rafe’s hand and squeezed it. “It sounded like a loud boom, Rafe, and then it was cut off because Kain’s phone must have died.”
“I need to get over there.” Philip grabbed his coat from where he’d laid it over the couch in the front room and shoved it on. “If anything’s happened to him, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Did anyone feel that?” Evan made a sudden appearance behind us, looking pale and worried. Behind him, Alexandra hovered, her lips pressed together tightly.
“Feel what?” Rafe asked him as I went to my brother’s side and put a hand on his arm.
“Phil—”
“I know what you’re going to say, Gabi, and the answer is no,” he said without looking at me.
Irritated, I scowled at him. “If he’s hurt, you’re going to need me—”
“You can’t heal him, not when we don’t know what could happen to you.” Philip tried to worm his way out of my grip, but I refused to let go. “Are you listening to me? You could die!”
“And without me, Kain could die,” I said plainly.
His brown eyes were filled with pain. “Please don’t make me choose between the two of you.”
“You won’t have to because this is my choice. I’m coming with you.”
“Uh, hello,” Evan called, waving his arms. “Are you two listening to me?”
“We’re a little busy, Evan,” I snapped, the tension in the room making me angry. “We don’t have time for your crap—”
“This isn’t crap!” he shot back. “There was just a crazy surge of magic right now, okay? Maybe you simpletons couldn’t feel it, but I did.” Evan’s face went uncharacteristically serious. “Whoever cast that spell didn’t care about veils or cloaking their power. They wanted us to know what they were doing.”
“Blowing up HQ,” Rafe said, looking at me for confirmation. I nodded, and Evan whistled.
“So what the hell are we doing standing around and chatting?” Alexandra demanded, also grabbing her coat. “If HQ is under attack, then we need to be there!”
“To defend it or help the fires spread?” Evan asked.
To my utter surprise, she answered him. “I don’t know. We’ll see how I feel when we get there.”
But I didn’t have time to marvel over the fact that they’d somehow made up (maybe?) overnight, not when I had to convince both Philip and Rafe to let me come along. They both voiced their protests loudly until Alexandra shoved herself between us. “Just drop it already! You know she’s just going to follow us, anyway! What are you going to do, tie her up?”
I shot her a grateful look.
Shaking his head, Rafe went over to a small wooden chest pushed up against the wall. Crouching, he opened it and said, “Grab a weapon, guys.” As the others went over and selected knives, he turned to me. “Do you have the knife I gave you?”
I picked up my purse from the couch. “Always do.”
“Good.” Rafe slipped a sheathed knife into his belt and pulled on his coat to conceal the weapon.
After the others followed suit, Alexandra exclaimed, “Come on, we’re going to miss the excitement if we don’t get moving!” To me, she said, “Don’t worry, Gabi, nothing’s going to happen to you. They’ll be so preoccupied with their precious building in flames they won’t even notice you’re around.”
“Please stop saying the building is on fire,” Philip muttered as we left the apartment and headed down the hallway to the elevator. “Kain is in there, somewhere. So is—” He cut himself off, but I knew who he meant.
Charles.
As we waited for the elevator to arrive, I squeezed my eyes shut and sent a silent prayer. Please, please, please let them be all right. Especially Kain. Philip can’t lose him, not when he just found him. Not when we just found out about Mom. How much more crap do we have to deal with?
In the elevator, Philip continued calling Kain, swearing each time the call didn’t go through. I exchanged tense glances with the others, my sense of dread growing with each passing minute. As soon as the elevator doors opened to the bottom floor, Philip took off, leaving the rest of us to chase after him.
When we’d arrived the day before, I hadn’t paid any attention to where we were, but I gasped as I was greeted with a familiar view of brownstones and low-level buildings. When Rafe shot me a questioning look, I explained, “We’re close to HQ, aren’t we?”
He nodded. “Just a few avenues over. Dad didn’t want to live in HQ, but he didn’t want to be too far away, either.”
Normally, this was the part where Philip would have praised me for actually knowing where I was, instead of becoming instantly lost the moment my feet touched the pavement. But he was already half a block away, winding his way around pedestrians as he raced toward HQ. The air was filled with the sound of sirens, and as we turned the corner, onto Eighteenth Street, police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances sped past us. Dark smoke was billowing in the air in sharp contrast to the blue, cloudless sky.
Dammit, I swore. This is so bad.
What were we going to find when we reached HQ?
We caught up with Philip at the next block. The crowds were so thick he was having a hard time pushing through. I could hear him snarling in anger, and when I reached out and grabbed his arm, he whirled on me, his fist raised. He blinked when he saw it was me, and some clarity returned to his eyes. “Gabi.”
“We’re going to get there,” I told him. “But only if you act like a human being. Punching people out of the way is only going to get you arrested, and that won’t help Kain.”
“But why are they all moving toward HQ?” He was right; the crowd was steadily pushing us in the direction we needed to go. “Are they going to stand around and gawk? Take videos on their phones and post them online?”
That was probably exactly what they were going to do, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I kept hold of his arm, and Rafe did the same with my other arm. Turning my head slightly to look over my shoulder, I saw we’d formed a sort of human chain, with Alexandra clutching Rafe’s other arm, and Evan, a little bit behind her, holding onto her free arm. Yeah, they definitely made up if she’s letting him touch her. As if she heard me, Alexandra scowled and shoved Evan’s hand off of her. Okay, maybe not.
It was slow progress, but eventually we made it to HQ, only to find the area was already blocked off by the police. They were yelling at people to stay back, but Philip ignored them and surged forward.
“Stop!” a police officer yelled. Behind him, firefighters were spraying parts of the building with their hoses, but from wh
ere I stood, I couldn’t see any flames. Philip’s bedroom was on the sixth floor, I remembered, so I counted the windows until I reached that floor, scanning it for damage. The windows were blown out, and thousands of tiny shards of glass littered the street like transparent snow. Thick, black smoke unfurled from the windows on the first three floors, coating the sky with darkness and the air with an acrid, burnt scent.
Philip was arguing with the officer, who kept repeating, “You need to stay back. The building is unstable—”
“I don’t give a shit, someone I know is in there—” Philip made to move toward HQ again, and the cop’s eyes narrowed.
“Rafe!” I yelped when it looked like Philip was going to deck the officer in the face. My boyfriend surged forward and grabbed one of Philip’s biceps. Evan followed suit, taking hold of the other, and they pulled him back, toward me. Cursing, he struggled against them. “Phil!” I hooked my fingers in the front of his jacket and shook. It didn’t have much effect, since Philip was built like a tank, but he did stop, mid-curse, to look at me. “You’re not going to help Kain this way! Let them do their thing, and when they find him, we’ll do our thing, okay?” By “our thing” I meant my healing thing, but I didn’t want the cop to hear me say that. He was already looking at us closely, like he expected he was going to have to arrest us at any moment. “Please, Phil?”
A commotion behind us saved Philip from answering me. We turned as one to see people spill from the front doors, shouting orders to the EMTs who waited at the curb. A young man with dark hair was being carried out by a group of firefighters, and my heart skipped a beat as, next to me, Philip stilled.
“Is that—?” Alexandra asked in a hushed whisper. I stood on tiptoes, trying to see his face, to see if it was Kain, all the while praying that it wasn’t him.
Philip was half a second away from bolting past the cop when Evan said, “That’s Jonathan.”
The Shadow Stealer (Silver Moon Saga Book 3) Page 10
