The kitchen was warm and cozy, the night-light shedding just enough light for him to find his way. Small indoor sensor lights in the wall sockets lighted his way the moment he stepped in front of them. At the top of the steps he leaned over the balcony to stare down into the family room. Sara and her sister probably played in that very room. Maybe checkers, maybe Monopoly. Family pictures were everywhere. The fireplace was fieldstone and rose all the way to the ceiling. Bright red Christmas stockings probably hung there on Christmas Eve. His eyes started to burn with unshed tears when he remembered the year Adam had found a red mesh bag from a sack of oranges and made him a stocking filled with licorice sticks, Jujubes, and a brand-new comic book. Because he didn’t have anything for his brother and because he was stupid, he’d thrown the homemade stocking at Adam and run out of the mean, ugly, barren house but not before he’d seen his brother’s shoulders slump or the tears in his eyes. There was no way he could ever make that right.
. Dallas tapped lightly on the only closed door on the second floor, calling Sara’s name as he did so.
Sara woke instantly. “Dallas, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I brought your car back. I let myself in with your house key. Is it okay for me to come in?”
“You’re here so I guess it’s okay. Let me get my robe. Is anything wrong, Dallas? I didn’t mean for you to bring my car back tonight.”
“I know. I wanted to see you. You sounded so unhappy. Let’s go down to your kitchen and have some coffee. I want to talk to you about something. Show me the corner where you put your Christmas tree. It’s Thanksgiving.”
Sara tied the belt of her old flannel robe so tightly she gasped. What was happening here? Goose bumps dotted her arms.
“In the corner across from the fireplace. My mother always. piled the extra presents that didn’t fit under the tree on top of the piano. It was always very . . . festive around here during the holiday season.”
“I like this house,” Dallas said as he trailed her to the kitchen. “They’re redecorating my office, and they make a lot of noise. That’s why I came down this evening. Plus I knew you wanted your car.”
Sara measured coffee into the percolator. “I didn’t know decorators worked at night.”
“Through the night. I told them I wanted the office finished by morning. You have to pay extra for that. Sometimes it’s good to have a lot of money. Listen, Sara, I want to help you. I can set you up in practice, and you don’t even have to pay me back. I remember everything you said about all the bills you owe. Right now, right this very second, I can write you a check to cover everything. Your student loans, your car, the mortgages, and all those appliances you bought. Then, when you’re the richest most important doctor in the country, you can pay me back. If you want to. If you don’t, that’s okay, too.”
“Dallas, I can’t take money from you. I can’t borrow another cent. I can collect unemployment for a little while. I’ll find a job. Doctors collect unemployment all the time,” Sara lied as she crossed her fingers. “Carly helps out. We’ll be able to make the mortgage payments. The worst-case scenario is I might lose the car. So, I’ll get a bicycle.”
“Are you saying no?” Dallas’s eyes were wide with shock.
“I’m saying no. I would never, ever, abuse our friendship by borrowing money. That’s the best way in the world to lose a friend.”
“Will you marry me?”
The coffee Sara was pouring into the cup splashed out onto the counter. She yelped as some of the. scalding coffee dripped on her big toe.
“Will you? If you do, that means half of everything I have will be yours and you can do what you want. I don’t believe in prenuptial agreements. Marriage is forever. Adam doesn’t agree, but I don’t care.”
“Dallas, sit down. Listen to me. I like you a lot. I enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, but I don’t know if either one of us is ready for any kind of serious commitment. We’ve only known each other for a little over a month.”
“I guess that means you aren’t sure if you love me. I’m not sure either. What I do know for sure is I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. So, you see, it’s okay. If we get married, we won’t have to pretend with each other. Will you think about it? Think about all the good we can do together.”
“Dallas, I . . .”
“Sara, I could build you the biggest, the best hospital in the country. Maybe in the world. You’d be the boss. The tour in January will make me a lot of money. New albums are on the schedule. I’ve got new songs ready to go. In a way the money is unlimited. It really is. It would make me very happy to know my music helps people who need your help. Kids with heart problems, old people with heart problems. You could take care of them and not even charge them. What’s the name of that wrinkled old lady in India who works with all those poor, sick people?” .
“Mother Teresa?” Sara said in a strangled voice.
“Yeah, her. You could do good stuff like she does. You might end up being more famous than me. I’ve made up my mind I’m going to cut back on my tour schedule. That means I’ll be home for supper. We can just cut records. The band will love it. The guys’ wives will love it even more. Please, Sara, say yes. We could even live here if you want or we could get a house just like this some place else. I’ll have to keep the house in the canyon because of the recording studio. Say something, Sara.”
Sara cleared her throat. “Is there something you aren’t telling me? Did something happen? What made you ask me to marry you? There must be millions of young women in this world who would marry you and love you for who you are. I’m almost as old as you are, Dallas. It’s not my intention to have children this late in my life. I’ve made that choice, and I intend to live by it. Don’t you want children?”
“Sandi Sims asked me the same question. I said yes because I thought I did. Later when I. thought about it I realized I probably wouldn’t make a good father. So, my answer to the question is no, not particularly. I don’t want to pass on my bad genes or whatever it is kids get from their parents. I’m not the ... the brightest person. I’m good with music. That’s all I’m good at. I can’t read well. I don’t understand things when I do read them. I’m ... slow.”
At Sara’s stricken look, Dallas said, “My brain just can’t handle . . . you know, normal stuff. Stuff that’s easy for you and Adam. I can’t get a handle on it. One time Billy got mad at me and called me dim-witted. He used to call me a lot of names. I always forgave him because he was my only friend. I don’t think I ever truly forgave him, though, in my heart. That’s the same as retarded. I didn’t speak to him for a whole month. He said he was sorry and didn’t mean it, but he did mean it, and I never forgave him for that lie. At the cemetery I did, but then it was too late. I’m just . . . retarded.”
Sara gasped. “Where did you get an idea like that, Dallas?”
“From my brother and from Billy? I told you, the only thing I’m any good at is music.”
“Oh, Dallas, that doesn’t mean you’re retarded. You might have some sort of a learning disability, that’s all. Millions of people have learning disabilities. There’s no shame in that. Look what you’ve done, look what you’ve accomplished. Were you ever tested in school?”
“All the time. Nobody ever told me how I did. Adam made sure I got through school. Adam’s the smart one. Charlie and Millie didn’t care how we did in school. They never asked to see my report card. Adam always asked.”
Tears pricked Sara’s eyes. “I have an idea. Let’s take our coffee into the family room and light a fire. You trust me don’t you, Dallas?”
“Sure.”
“I mean really trust me. We’ll curl up by the fire, and I want you to talk to me like I was Billy. I want you to tell me everything about your life.” Something stirred in Sara then, something maternal and something else. She wanted him to reach out to her and she wanted to cuddle in his arms. What was happening to her?
She lit the fire, and they settled in
front of it with their mugs of coffee.
“What if you don’t want to marry me after I tell you all the things about me and Adam?” Dallas asked.
“I asked you if you trusted me. You said yes. Your answers won’t affect my decision.”
“Will you promise me that you won’t be angry with Adam after we talk? It’s okay for me to get mad at him because he’s my brother. I don’t like it when someone else gets mad at him. I’m going to Las Vegas on the tenth of December. We’re doing a charity benefit for aging musicians. It’s a sold-out performance. I’d like us to get married when I get back. That’s a really nice fire, Sara. Too bad you don’t have some weenies and marshmallows.”
“Oh, but I do. You sit right there, and I’ll get them. While I toast the weenies and marshmallows you can talk. Dallas, would you mind if I recorded our conversation? I give you my word no one but me will ever hear the tape. I often record with a patient. Mostly it’s so I don’t make a mistake. If you want, I’ll swear on Billy Sweet.”
“Sure, okay. I’m like that, too, Sara. I never break a promise, and when I give my word or shake hands it’s good as gold. See, we have more in common than you think.”
It the kitchen, Sara leaned against the refrigerator. She needed to think, but her brain was a beehive. She returned to the living room with the skewers, the marshmallows, the weenies, and rolls. She felt numb. From the top of her head to the tip of her bare toes. In some way she knew this was a turning point in her life.
“I’m going to cook as soon as the fire’s hot. You just talk. Say anything you feel like saying. I’d like it if you’d start with your earliest childhood memories. One last thing, Dallas. I will not judge you.” Dallas nodded.
It was full light when Sara shut off the tape recorder. She slid the bundle of tapes into an envelope. The recorder went back into the cabinet where she kept her CDs.
“I don’t think I ever ate four hot dogs in my life,” Sara said. “My New Year’s resolution is to exercise and lose ten pounds.”
“Why don’t you go to one of those fat farms?”
“Because those fat farms cost a fortune. Are you saying I’m fat?”
“Are you going to marry me? Maybe you aren’t fat yet. A little chubby. Well, what’s your answer?”
“Dallas, I need a little time to think. It has nothing to do with the tapes and our talk here this morning. I’ve been so unlucky in my relationships, I don’t want to jump into anything. The fact that neither one of us is certain if we’re in love bothers me.”
“Get over it.”
“Just like that, get over it.”
“Don’t think about it. As long as you like me and I like you, we’ll do fine.”
“You’ve just given me the biggest headache of my life, Dallas Lord.”
Dallas hooted with laughter. “That’s because you know you need to lose ten pounds. We’ll get married after you lose it. That gives you two weeks. Guess what else, Sara Killian. I’m going to have a surprise for you very soon. I want you to think of it in terms of a wedding gift.”
And so Dr. Sara Killian agreed to marry Dallas Lord for all the wrong reasons. She further agreed to a private no-frills ceremony at Dallas’s Mandeville Canyon estate. There would be one guest on the list: Nellie Pulaski. Big A1 Cherensky, the Canyon River Band’s drummer and the father of nine, was to be the best man and Carly, Sara’s sister, the maid of honor.
“Let’s go up to my house and cook our dinner,” Dallas said when she agreed. “I’m anxious to see how my new office came out. I’m really sorry about your job, Sara.” His face brightened, “Now you don’t have to worry about it. We can start to make all kinds of plans in my new office. Do you want to follow me in your own car or ride with me? How would you like a chauffeur and a Rolls-Royce?”
“I don’t think so, Dallas. I like to drive. I like doing things for myself. I don’t think I could ever get used to having a housekeeper fussing around my house.”
“You get used to it. It gives you time to do the important things. You always have clean clothes, the floor is clean, there’s food in the cabinets and refrigerator. I had some bad ones in the beginning. They used to steal my stuff until Adam cracked the whip. Now anyone who works for me has to be bonded and fingerprinted. Security is the big problem. Adam said the payroll is outrageous. Sandi is bringing a friend up on Monday to audition for Billy’s spot.”
Sara nodded. Dallas spoke so fast, his thoughts changing at the speed of light. “Let me get dressed, and we’ll go to your house. I’ll follow you. We can get the turkey ready to go in the oven. Dinner should be ready around five. Is that okay with you?”
“Sure. Whatever you want, Sara. Do you mind if I use your phone while you’re getting ready?”
“Go ahead.”
Dallas waited until he heard Sara close her bedroom door on the second floor. Did hospital administrators work on Thanksgiving? He dialed and asked for Harry Heinrick. He waited a moment, then announced himself, his body shaking with anger. His voice a venomous hiss, he said, “You gave me your word that Sara wouldn’t find out until I was ready for you to announce it. Sara already knows. The whole hospital knows. Sara was upset. She’s still upset. What the hell kind of deal are you trying to pull on me? I don’t want to hear excuses. I have a good mind to back out. I’m going to think about all of this until Monday. I’ll call you and give you my decision. I don’t like doing business with people who go back on their word.”
Dallas hung up the phone. Would Adam have done it any differently? Hell, yes, he would have. He would have told Heinrick to fuck off, the deal was dead in the water. Adam wouldn’t have said he would think about it till Monday. Shit, I can’t do anything right. He had three days to think about it and to decide if he wanted to act like Adam or act like Dallas Lord.
“I’m ready, Dallas.”
“Me too.”
“Are you happy, Sara?”
Sara stared at Dallas’s anxious face. He had such beautiful dark eyes and the most winsome smile she’d ever seen in her life. In his crisp khakis, pristine white shirt, whose cuffs were rolled to the middle of his arms, and his loafers, he looked nothing like the famous rock star that he was. “I think I am, Dallas. If happy isn’t the right word, then contented will do. How about you?”
“I’m happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I haven’t thought about Billy since I got to your house. I guess that means I’m making progress.”
“I’d say so. I’ll follow you.”
Dallas was like a child when he hopped from the Jeep. He could barely contain himself until Sara climbed from her car. He reached for her hand. Together they ran to the house. “I can’t wait to see the office.”
The six decorators were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. “I hope you don’t mind, Mr. Lord.” Andrew Morrison, the owner of the decorating firm, motioned to the coffee cups on the table. “We finished about an hour ago. We didn’t want to leave until you got back. If there’s anything you don’t like, we can change it now. We have everything in the van.”
“Help yourself.” Dallas’s voice was excited and expansive.
Dallas motioned for Sara to follow him.
Nothing in the world could have prepared Sara for Dallas’s newly decorated office. Shiny foil lightning bolts in every shade of the rainbow zigzagged across the room on a background of fuzzy electric blue wallpaper. The ceiling was painted a powder-puff blue with chunky white clouds that gradually darkened to represent a night sky with stars, moons, rainbows, and shooting stars.
Sara looked down at the floor, her jaw dropping. White tile with polka dots the same colors as the lightning bolts, raced across the office to blend into one giant red circle. A huge white desk with a glass top and a red, white, and blue chair sat inside the circle. The natural wood cabinets were now stark white, with smears of color going in every direction. Gold and platinum records, awards, certificates, and citations were aligned on one very large wall. The glistening gold frames seemed to be
hanging from a braided red wire that ran horizontally and vertically across the wall.
“God! Is this great or what?” Dallas clapped his hands as he raced around the room to view it from all angles. “I told them I wanted my eyeballs to stand at attention. Man, they are at attention! This is really a wake-up room! What do you think, Sara?”
Sara blinked. “It’s certainly different.” She longed for sunglasses.
“I told them I wanted something different. They gave it to me. God, this is so great. Do you think it’s a room that will give me inspiration? How could it not,” he said answering himself. “Stay here, Sara. I have to pay the guys. We’ll start dinner in a few minutes.”
Sara sat down on the weird-looking chair in the shape of the American flag. She closed her eyes and immediately felt better. She didn’t open her eyes again until Dallas touched her shoulder. “I have the feeling you don’t like this room.”
“It’s a bit . . . much for my taste, Dallas. I’m a pretty conservative person. The only thing that’s important is that you like it. I don’t know if they’ll ever photograph it for Architectural Digest. ”
“Are you kidding! Those people call me at least once a month. They’re dying to get my house in their magazine.”
It was Sara’s turn to be amazed. She nodded. “I guess we should start dinner, huh?”
“Well, sure. While the turkey is cooking we can go down to the studio. I want to show you something first, though.”
Five minutes later, Dallas opened his bedroom door with a flourish. “See this mess. Adam said I had to take it over. All this stuff was in the office. It was an Adam office. I wanted a Dallas office. Now, do you understand?”
“Dallas, what is this stuff?”
“I guess it’s my life. My holdings. My records. All kinds of stuff. It might as well be in another language. I’m going to call Adam tomorrow and tell him he has to take it all back. Even if I could take care of this, it wouldn’t leave me any time for my music. Every member of the band has stuff like this except Sandi. She hasn’t been with the band long enough. I had to lend her money yesterday. Adam never would have given her a loan. He’s too stingy, and I’m too generous. And we’re brothers. Figure that one out. He told me not to trust anybody or they’d rob me blind.”
Sara's Song Page 12
