Afraid to Dream

by Tianna Xander

  My heartbeat pounded in my ears and the blood rushed to my head. My face burned when I realized I wanted this man more than I cared to admit. I bit my lip, wondering if I should give in to the temptation. My fingers itched to play across his bronzed flesh and my clit pulsed with anticipation of his touch. Never having been a loose woman, I usually wanted to know a man for a while before I decide to sleep with him. Every one of my previous sexual encounters had been with men I knew, men I cared about--or thought I did anyway.

  Still, I was here with him and--if the bulge against my hip was any indication--he was obviously willing. I knew my powers were building. I felt them surging through me at times, needing an outlet. If I didn't release them soon, I would become a target.

  "You are already a target."

  Chapter Four

  I reached up to loosen his hair from the band that held it. "Then I guess I don't have much of a choice do I?" Oh, that was easy to say, but I wasn't sure that I could just jump in the sack with a man I'd just met even if it was only to dispel my rising powers.

  "It may not be much of a choice, but you do have one. I promise you that. And this is more than just a bit of afternoon delight, as you put it. This is for forever." Darius reached up to push a stray lock of hair behind my ear. My skin tingled at the contact and gooseflesh rose on my skin. "I love your hair." He stroked his fingers along the length. "It's so soft, so silky, like copper strands of the finest silk sifting through my fingers."

  He thrust his fingers through my hair and fisted his hand. Tingling pinpricks of sensual pain darted over my scalp, causing heat to rush between my legs and dampen my panties. Not submissive by any means, I still loved the sexual heat--the friction-- the mere thought of making love with such a dominant man. With his hand still fisted in my hair, Darius tilted my head back and drew me toward him for another soul-deep melding of our lips. It was hard and a bit rough and--I was surprised to find--just the way I like it. He pressed his lips firmly against mine, his tongue plundered the depths of my mouth and I raised my hand to cup his cheek, rubbing my thumb over the short stubble there.

  He grabbed my wrist and lowered my arm. Taking both of my hands in his much larger one, he held me still. Part of me wanted to complain, to struggle, but somehow, we were mentally bonded. I could feel his determination to keep me safe, no matter the cost. I also felt his resolve not to force me to do something I didn't want to do. I think that alone was the deciding factor.

  Pulling back, he lifted me by my hips. Needing no further instruction, I straddled him. The heat from the vee of my legs cradled his erection. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and he groaned.

  Large hands cupped my rear, kneading gently. I ground myself onto his lap. The contact with his hard cock was as vital to me as breathing. Warm fingers splayed over my back, caressing each hollow of my hips and the small indentations above my rear.

  Leaning closer, I pressed my breasts against his chest. My nipples pebbled against the material of my blouse and I couldn't resist rubbing them against him. Tendrils of delight shot through my blood, burning a trail from the tips of my breasts, lower, to my groin.

  The front of my blouse separated, as if by magic. I certainly didn't remember his loosening the buttons. Darius pushed the material from my shoulders. I barely had the presence of mind to notice how my blouse just fell away, how it hung from me, the front opened, before he pushed it from my shoulders with a ragged groan.

  I gulped a breath then moaned low in my throat when his mouth closed over my sensitive nipple through the soft pink of my lacy bra. Arching back, I pushed my breasts forward, reveling in his touch. Blood roared in my ears and moisture slid from my nether lips to soak my panties.

  Reverently, he moved his mouth over my skin, pressing soft kisses between my breasts, over the mounds and in the hollow of my throat. He nuzzled the crook of my neck, his teeth scraping erotically over my pulse.

  The front clasp of my bra gave way to his fingers and my breasts spilled from the lacy cups, immediately falling prey to his hungry gaze. The peaks hardened, begging for his touch. My stomach churned and did a little flop as I waited for his mouth to close around my unprotected nipple. His tongue gently circled, laved the turgid bud as I mewled in his arms, grinding my jean-clad pussy onto his hard cock.

  What was left of my rational mind raced. I needed this. I needed him, just as surely as I needed to breathe. My body ached with the need for release and I knew, somehow, only he could give me the relief I craved.

  His hands were at the waistband of my jeans, fumbling with the button when two of the men he'd been with at Cassie's house burst into the room. I shrieked and attempted to cover myself with my hands. I buried my face in his neck.

  Darius actually growled. "Get out!"

  "We need to talk to you as soon as possible." I heard them head for the door. "Sorry ma'am."

  Darius grasped my shoulders and gently set me away from him to look into my eyes.

  I looked away, mortified. I've never been the type for one-night-stands and I felt like a tramp. "You'd better go," I said tucking my breasts back into the cups of my bra before fumbling with the clasp.

  He pushed my hands away and clasped my bra. My cheeks burned as he pulled my blouse back up over my shoulders and buttoned it. Humiliated, I started to climb from his lap when he was through, but he held my hip in an unbreakable grip.

  "Do not do this, little one. Do not attempt to cheapen what we have by making it less than it is." He took my hands in each of his then proceeded to kiss each of my fingers in turn.

  "Less than it is? How can it be less than it is?" I snorted. "We just met. We're complete strangers, Darius. We don't even know each other's last names for crying out loud."

  "Grubowski. Your last name is Grubowski."

  I sighed. "Okay, smarty pants. So you know my last name. It doesn't change the fact I don't know yours or that we met for the first time yesterday while I was being kicked out of my best friend's home." The memory wasn't a pleasant one. For the first time since I'd met them all those years ago, they had actually asked me to leave. I'd never been so embarrassed in my life.

  "I wish I had the time to make that up to you, to set your fears at ease." He nodded to another of the men who had rounded the corner attempting to get his attention and waved him away. "I must go now."

  He stood while still holding me and I marveled at his strength. There aren't many men who could do that. I'd put money on it.

  He pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. "The sand is gone. You no longer need to shower unless you wish to. Now be a good girl and stay here while I'm gone. You'll be safe here and I won't be compelled to worry about you."

  I shook my head. "I don't think so. I have no desire to wander around someone else's home who I don't know. And I'm certainly not going to sit in one spot twiddling my thumbs like the perfect little woman." Did the man think I was crazy or just stupid? This was my one out and I knew it. It was just too damned bad it came before he took care of my little problem. And I wasn't touching the comment about the sand. I was grateful the angry chafing had stopped, but I wasn't that grateful.

  He set me down, making sure I was steady on my feet before he released me. Taking my chin in his hand, he stared deep into my eyes and I felt myself falling forward, tumbling into his moss-green gaze.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "Oh, no you don't, mister. I'm on to your games now. I don't know how you did that in the car but, I promise you, you are not getting away with it again." I pulled from his grip and paced away from him, pissed that he was going to put one of his mind whammies on me again.

  "I'm an adult, dammit. I have been for quite some time now." I stalked back to glare at him. "No one tells me what to do unless I allow it. And you, mister…" I poked my finger into the center of his chest. "Are not allowed." I clamped my mouth shut and glared at him with my hands on my hips. A part of me--a very immature part--wanted to stick my tongue out at him. But I di
dn't think that would go a very long way to proving I'm an adult.

  He stepped closer, his gaze intense. "You are my mate, Lily. That gives me the right. If you aren't here waiting for me when I return, I will seek reprisal." He turned and left with that parting shot.

  I hurried to the door and peeked around the corner.

  "What was so important that you felt the need to disturb me while I bonded with my mate?" Darius all but growled at the three men.

  "It's Matt. He's gone missing. We need to find him before he's turned."

  I didn't hear any more after that. They moved further down the hall to the stairs and I lost the conversation completely as they descended to the first floor. Nosy, I crept to the stairs, knelt down beside the wall so I could hear better and grimaced. Just like a kid. I frowned when I didn't hear any more and he turned to look up the stairs at me with a smile.

  "Well, hell," I said, standing and brushing my knees off. So much for being an adult. I sighed. What was next? What do you do with a man who thinks he owns you? Did Cassie say it had something to do with my scent? Pheromones. The conversation in their living-room came back to me. I distinctly remembered them saying something about pheromones.

  "Okay then," I said and sniffed my armpits. "Apparently I just need a shower and Mr. Libido will leave me alone." But I had to get home first and I had to see what was going on with Matty, too. If he was missing, I needed to get to Cassie and to hell with Mr. Macho Delicious and his demands. Who the hell did he think he was, anyway?

  One of Cassie's brothers was missing and I may be pissed at them for letting that Neanderthal carry me off the way they did, but they're still my friends. Matt and Mark were like brothers to me. I searched the house for something that would tell me where I was. I couldn't call a cab to pick me up if I didn't know where he'd taken me while unconscious.

  Chapter Five

  "Have they found him? Where is he, is he okay?" I hit Cassie with the barrage as soon as she opened the thick, wooden door. As usual, I didn't wait for an invitation. I just barged in and started yapping. She was used to it by now. I talk incessantly when I'm nervous and I don't always make sense.

  Her hair was a mess. Her red-rimmed eyes and stuffed-up nose told me she'd been crying. I didn't expect anything less. Her brother was missing after all. Usually the epitome of feminine allure, even in her normal jeans and sweatshirt, she looked like hell, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

  She hugged me and sobbed onto my shoulder. "He's never just gone missing like this. You know that. He always, always has his cell phone. What if the rogues have him? They could--they could kill him…or worse."

  I patted her back, my throat constricting with worry. What did I tell her, that he'd be okay? After this morning's colorful display, I didn't know that anything would be okay, ever again.

  "Yes, I know, sissy." We both tend to revert to the childhood endearment in times of stress. I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I was going to make her tell me. What could possibly be worse than death? If I'm supposed to be the mate of one of those non-human guys, she can damn sure tell me exactly what kind of non-human he was--is--whatever.

  I led her past the formal dining-room, tried to ignore the weapons lying on the table and into the parlor, playing hostess as she clung to me, fear and worry written all over her face. "I can't help you if I don't know what's going on, Cassie. It's time to tell me everything."

  She nodded, sat on the sofa and reached to the end-table to grab a tissue from the box there. She dabbed at her eyes then blew her nose before balling the tissue up and setting her hands in her lap.

  "As you know, a guide has a certain amount of special powers."

  I nodded and waited for her to continue. Her gaze darted around the room as she obviously tried to find the words to tell me what I wanted to know. My gaze settled on the bookcase behind her. It was the same shelf I'd hidden behind just a few short hours ago before I learned of Cartuoteys, guides, portals and non-human visitors. I wondered when my life had taken such a sharp turn toward the bizarre.

  "Well, a Cartuotey is like a guide on steroids, only with different powers."

  "Um…That doesn't really help me." I sat down next to her and looked her in the eyes. "It's me, Cassie. I can't help but hope that you've wished to share all of this fantastic stuff with me for years."

  She wrung her hands in her lap and sighed. "I have. You don't know how many times I almost broke the rules and told you anyway."

  I reached over and took her hand. "Then what's the hold-up now? I'm here, you're here and I need to know what's going on, what I'm up against with this guy. Because I don't think he's going to let me get away from him and it scares me. He scares me."

  "What frightens you, the commitment or him?"

  I thought about her question for a minute. "I really don't know."

  "Well, at least you're being honest about it." She took a deep breath. "Think about it, Lily. You're independent. You have been for several years now. You haven't really had to answer to anyone since you were about fourteen." She turned in her seat and tucked her feet beneath her. "I'm willing to bet that you're not ready to give up your independence and Darius represents the end of your freedom. Just like Rich represented the end of your freedom and that's why you broke it off with him."

  I shook my head. "Wait a minute. Richard is another story all together. He used me. I was nothing more than a steady piece of ass to him."

  "And you didn't even cry after he left when you turned down his proposal." She cocked her head and looked at me shrewdly. "Did you?"

  I gritted my teeth and looked away, tired of the same old argument. I'd beat this same dead horse with my mother more times than I'd like to count. I didn't want to defend my actions with my best friend, too.

  "Rich didn't propose. He propositioned. There is a very distinct difference between the two, you know."

  She waved her hand, dismissing my outburst. "Maybe, but you still weren't willing to give up enough of yourself to move in with the guy."

  I snorted. "And he suffered so badly he went out and replaced me two days later." I think that's what bothered me the most. The man didn't have any qualms at all about wanting to move in with any woman. Cattily, I wondered how much money he was saving on rent, living with his current big-boobed bimbo. I'm just glad I didn't let him talk me into that boob job. What a waste of money that would have been. And it would have been a waste of my money too. Richard didn't want to chip-in a dime. That was what ultimately made me decide against it. Happy with my body the way it is, I don't have a thing to prove with plastic.

  She frowned. "He's with someone else already?"

  "Yup." I nodded and made a face. "And the woman has one of those Boutique names, too. Candy, Buffy, Muffy…something like that."

  She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I thought he cared about you. He wanted you two to move in together."

  "Yeah, it's called saving rent." I mimicked her position, tucking my feet under my rear. "Now, let's get back on track. What do you mean a Cartuotey is like a guide on steroids? I've never seen a normal person on steroids, so you're going to have to come up with a better analogy."

  Cassie pursed her lips. "Okay, don't let this scare you." She laughed. "What am I saying? Of course it's going to scare you. I just need to find a way to tell you that won't make you run screaming into the street."

  "Um… Is it that bad?" I stared at her, trying to figure out if she was serious or if she was just being dramatic. The puffy redness around her eyes reminded me why I was here and I felt bad for my uncharitable thoughts. So I decided to shut up and give her a chance to explain.

  "You know how you used to speculate about the legends when we were younger? About ghosts, dragons, elves, that sort of thing? Remember how you used to say that if so many countries, so many cultures had legends about these magical creatures, that they must have some basis in fact?"

  I nodded, wondering where she was going with this. "Of course I remember. I was the one
who got us in trouble for failing that history project because I was sure there must have been unicorns in America when the Native Americans ruled the land."

  "Well, you were right about a lot of things." She laughed. "Just not that."

  Cassie was hedging and I couldn't figure out why. I tilted my head to the side and stared at her, wondering if there was still something she wasn't supposed to tell me. "Okay," I said, tilting my head to the other side. "Do you mind telling me what I was right about?"

  She leaned over and gave me a hug. "I'm so glad to be able to talk to you about all of this."

  Hugging her back, I bit my lip and tried not to let it show that my patience had started to run thin while I waited for her explanation.

  "Four or five millennia ago," she frowned, thinking. "I don't remember how long exactly. It's not like I was there." She shrugged and continued. "It was several thousand years ago anyway, some people--space explorers--managed to open a rift between dimensions with their ship. They'd had some sort of strange plague that only effected the X chromosome in pairs. The men survived, the women did not."

  She stood, walked over to the window and peered through a crack in the blinds. "I could have sworn I heard a car…" Her brow furrowed and she turned back almost like an afterthought. She paced in front of me, her thoughts obviously far away.

  I was shocked to see her so preoccupied. Normally, she was very controlled. But then, these weren't normal circumstances either. Her brother was missing and apparently there were some nasty people who could have taken Matty to kill him, or worse. Whatever could be worse than death.

  She strode over to the chair across from me and sat down, tucking her feet beneath her again. "They were Cartuoteys. Their ship crashed here. It floated for a while, looking like an island off the coast of Iceland. One day, when they were certain that they could live on their own, without their technology, they scuttled the ship and left it to sink into the ocean."