by Evan Grace
“Oh honey, that would be wonderful. It’s been so long since I’ve had a little one around for Christmas morning. Gretch, we could make your favorite breakfast casserole. I bet he’d love it. Oh, and Christmas Eve morning we could make the cookies we’ll put out for Santa.” I knew she’d be preparing to go overboard, but Grant deserves that and so much more.
I only stay for a little while longer before I head toward home…home. Now that I have them in my place, I have to figure out a way to never let them go.
***
I follow the silver BMW across town. I’ve been tailing this guy for a week, and he’s finally leading me to something. This week the douchebag I’ve been tailing has led me to his mistress’s place, the gym, and a travel agent. Now I’ve hit pay dirt. I was hired by this guy’s employer—they suspect he’s stealing designs and then selling them to their main competitor.
He pulls into the parking lot of a Starbucks in Oak Brook. I can see now why they chose this location—it’s busy as fuck. I let the douche go inside before I hop out of my Explorer and make my way inside. Inside, he’s two people in front of me in line. To a layman, he appears to be just your average guy at Starbucks for a meeting.
What I see, though, is a man whose pulse is pounding in his neck, who’s clutching his messenger bag so tight his knuckles are white. I don’t miss the way his eyes flit around the space. The fucker is nervous, and he should be, because as soon as I catch him handing off the flash drive, his boss is going to call him in and let him know the plans aren’t the real ones.
The douche signed an agreement when he got hired that clearly stated that if he was caught sharing information, then it was immediate termination and legal action. The guy might be getting paid for the plans, but that’ll all just be sucked into legal fees…dumbass.
After I get my coffee, I sit down across from him. He keeps looking out the window. Is he trying to give himself away? While I wait, I send Shayla a quick text.
Erik: Hey babe, do you want me to pick up a pizza for dinner?
The dots start bouncing, and I wait eagerly for her to respond.
Shayla: I’m actually making a meatloaf, homemade mashed potatoes and peas.
Erik: You don’t have to cook every day, you know that right? You work full-time too, and do everything for Grant.
The dots start bouncing again.
Shayla: I know I don’t but it was always so hard cooking for just the two of us. I like doing it.
Erik: Okay well I’m not complaining because you’re an amazing cook.
Shayla: Thanks, oh, I invited Dalton to stay for dinner.
When one of the other guys has to pick her up and take her and Grant back to my place, she usually invites them to stay for dinner. So far she’s fed Marcus, Jack, and Dalton.
The douche’s body tenses, so I focus back on what I’m doing. I open my camera app and wait. The guy who comes inside is short but built, reminding me of a bulldog. He sits down next to the douche, and they begin whispering to each other. I take picture after picture until I get the money shot: the douche handing over the flash drive to the bulldog.
I finish my coffee and escape out to my Explorer. On my way home, I call my contact to let him know that I’ll be sending him the information when I get home. I reach my street and find a place to park. I grab my bag and hop out. On the sidewalk, I’m looking down at my phone, not watching where I’m going when I bump into someone.
I look up. “Sorry, man.”
He just nods and starts walking away. Why does he look familiar? I turn and look for him, but he’s disappeared. I shake off the on-edge feeling that guy gives me. I enter my building, riding the elevator to my floor. As soon as I step off the elevator, the scent of meatloaf hits me, and my mouth begins to water.
When I step inside, I freeze. Shayla’s standing in the middle of the living room. I shut the door behind me. “What’s going on? Is Grant okay? I thought Dalton was coming.”
“Yes, sorry he’s fine, and I asked Dalton to reschedule. Right after I texted you Luna called and asked if Grant could sleep over. They were going to come get him and then go get pizza. I thought maybe we could…we could talk about stuff.”
She seems very scared to tell me whatever it is. I almost don’t want to know what it is if it’s already upsetting her, but I know if we’re going to have a future, then we need to be able to talk about this kind of stuff—our dirty laundry, so to speak. I’ve already talked to her about my dad.
I walk to her and pull her into my arms. “I told you that you could tell me when you’re ready.”
“I know, and I’m ready now, but let’s eat first.”
We sit at the kitchen table and are both silent while we eat. I moan around the first bite. “This shit is amazing.”
She smiles at me, and then places her fork down, her smile falling. “The first time Ryan hit me, he knocked my front tooth out. I left him, and my brother beat his ass. He came back a week later, crying and saying that he’d never done that before. I was stupid and took him back.”
I push my plate away and reach across the table, grabbing for her hand, but she jerks it away from me and places both hands in her lap. “It took six months before he hit me again, and it was because I found out he’d slept with someone else the week we were apart, and I got upset.
“It was right after that when I found out I was pregnant. He was okay when I was pregnant, and only slapped me a few times, and then toward the end, he controlled what and how much I ate.” My stomach knots as she goes on to tell me about how he’d get jealous that she was spending more time with Grant—their baby—and that he’d had tons of flings.
“By the time Grant was born, my parents and brother quit speaking to me. They said they weren’t going to watch me slowly die. Notice they didn’t even offer to protect me from him if I wanted to leave. The final straw was a little over two years ago. One of his ‘girlfriends’ approached me in front of Grant, talking about how my husband liked to fuck her hard and dirty.” Her eyes glisten, and she takes a deep breath.
“When he got home, I’d put Grant to bed and confronted him. He punched me in the face, knocking me to the bed. He’d gone crazy, hitting and biting all over my body. Grant had walked in and saw me covered in blood and bruises. He was scared to talk after that day for a while, and now he’s leery of men until he gets to know them.”
I move my chair around the table until I’m right next to her. I cradle her hands in between mine and bring them to my chest. “Did you ever try to contact your family after you left him?”
She nods. “As soon as I left, I went to the police and pressed charges against Ryan, and then I took Grant with me to my parents’ house. My dad took one look at me and Grant and sh-shut the door in my face.” Her chin wobbles. A lone tear leaves a silvery trail as it slides down her face, but she’s silent.
“I s-stayed with that monster when I should’ve run far, far away from him, but I didn’t because I was weak. Do you think I’m a bad person for staying?” I hate how small her voice sounds right now.
“Fuck no, baby. Men like him are really good at making women feel like their only option is to stay. The point is, you left. You protected yourself and your son from a monster.” I can tell the walls I was working to knock down are starting to reform…fucking shit.
Shayla wipes angrily at the tears running down her cheeks. “Do you know how long he had to serve?” I shake my head. “Six months, that’s it. And he only got that because the lawyers I worked for were amazing and helped me get him locked up. They could’ve gotten longer, but I never reported the other incidents, so it was his first offense.”
“When’s the last time you saw him?”
“Two years ago, when I served him with divorce papers, and I’m not sure why he agreed so easy or why he didn’t try to fight me to see Grant once he was out. He hasn’t bothered us since.”
She lays her head on my shoulder, and I hug her tightly to my chest. Silence surrounds us, and I can�
�t believe anyone could hurt her.
“Sorry for bringing this up now, and right before Christmas. Nothing says holiday spirit like bringing skeletons out of the closet. I-I just care about you a lot, and I don’t know…I just thought you should have all the information about me. Now you know why Grant’s the way he is.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to open up, and I didn’t care when you did it. I just wanted you to trust me enough that you felt comfortable.” That seems to be the right answer, because I feel the moment she relaxes against me.
Even though I’m fucking furious at the thought of her piece of shit ex-husband hurting her and Grant this much, my heart feels so fucking full knowing she trusts me with the whole truth. I realize it’s time for me to do the same—trust her with my own demons.
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “I know you asked me in the beginning about whether I’d ever been deployed, and you respected that I didn’t want to talk about it…I still hate talking about it, but it’s never easy. You’re away from home, the people you love…Conditions can sometimes be rough, but you quickly realize that you’re so lucky compared to all the people you see out there starving, dying, and that makes you want to fight even harder for the people who can’t. Plus, those Marines you spend every day with…they become family. I was lucky and never lost anyone from my unit, but I know others who lost everyone. The things you see, and the things you do…they stick with you long after the fighting is over. But Tad got me to speak to someone right away and it helped.” I take a deep breath. “Anyway, I just wanted to share that.”
Shayla says nothing—she just hugs me a little bit tighter.
Chapter Fourteen
Shayla
Today is Christmas Eve, and we’re on our way up to Erik’s parents’ home. They were so sweet to invite Grant and me to spend the holiday with them. How amazing that since we moved to Chicago we’ve had so many people supporting us, helping us, and including us in family stuff. We may not have a family that’s blood, but we do have a family of the heart.
It’s only been a few days since I told Erik about my ex, and he’s shown me nothing but support and care, proving that I made the right decision in opening my heart to this man. Yes, he may be a cocky flirt, but he’s also kind, supportive, and loyal. He’s the whole package, and he wants me, which I still can’t believe, but he’s proved over and over that he does.
I look behind me and smile at my boy. In his hand is a gift he wrapped himself that he picked out for Gretchen. It’s a little snow globe with Tinkerbell in it. The best part is that Grant and Erik went to get it without me. That was a huge step, and Erik said that Grant even talked to him a little bit without Erik coaxing him.
This morning we wrapped the gift—or, Grant did. I just cut the paper and handed him the pieces of tape. In the back end of the Explorer are the rest of the gifts. Erik said he usually gave out gift cards, but I made him shop for real gifts with me. I think he had the most fun shopping for Grant, even though I told him he didn’t need to get him anything. My son will be having Nerf gun wars for a long time.
For his Santa gifts I got Grant some books, a new tablet, and the new Cars movie. Plus with what Erik picked out, Grant is making out like a bandit. The previous two Christmases were hard, and money was tight, but Grant didn’t seem to mind. Erik has asked me a few times what I wanted, but I dodged the question. It’s been years since anyone’s bought me a gift.
Luna asked me the first year we met, but I told her she could get something for Grant. I, of course, get stuff for her girls. Just like this year too. For his parents I wasn’t sure what to get, so Erik helped me decide. We got his mom a Pandora bracelet, and Tad tickets to the season opener for the Cubs.
We pull into the driveway an hour later, and I grab Grant out of the back. Tad and Nicole come out to greet us. Tad helps Erik grab the bags while Nicole loops her arm through mine and leads me into the house. “Thank you for inviting Grant and me to spend the holiday with your family.”
“Oh sweetheart, we’re happy to have you here.” She hugs my arm as we step inside the house. Soft Christmas music plays in the background. Their tree is huge and brightly decorated. Grant walks in behind us, clutching the gift in his hands.
When Erik comes in with Tad, they place all the gifts under the tree. The Santa gifts will be hidden in Erik’s room until Grant’s asleep.
While we wait for the rest of their family to get here, we eat some hors d’oeuvres. Tonight after dinner, we’re going to Tad’s church for a Christmas Eve service, and I’m nervous. I’ve never really been the church-going type. Ryan and I got married by an ordained minister in a park by our home. He was choosing not to be traditional, but maybe it was also because he was evil and worried God would strike him dead if he walked into a church.
Maybe we should’ve done that and then I wouldn’t have had to worry anymore since he’d be a grease spot.
***
I straighten Grant’s sweater after I take his coat off in the vestibule of the church. It’s such a beautiful place—it’s small, but modern and homey. I hang up his coat before taking off mine and hanging it up too. He holds onto my hand tightly as people mill around. We get lots of curious looks, but with the size of the church, they probably all know each other.
Erik comes walking toward us and my mouth waters. He’s in a dark gray suit with an ocean blue button-up shirt and no tie. I don’t miss the appreciative glances some of these women give him, but he doesn’t even seem to notice. Instead, he wraps his arm around my waist, kissing my lips.
The service is beautiful, and the songs are great. Gretchen and two other girls sing “Silent Night” a cappella, and it gives me chills. The girl looks like an angel and has a voice like one too. Once the service is over, I look down and see that Grant has fallen asleep. Without a second thought, Erik picks my boy up so he’s sleeping on his shoulder.
We hang back, letting the other members of the congregation greet Tad. A man walks up to Tad’s side, and I don’t miss the way Erik stiffens. It dawns on me that it must be Cesar, the man who shot and killed Erik’s dad.
I imagine it’s hard to be around him, and even though the man paid for his crime, he’s still here and Erik’s dad isn’t. I wrap my arm around his waist, giving him a reassuring squeeze. We make our way down the aisle when I freeze, my body going stiff. No, that’s not possible, but in the back pew…I swear to God I’m looking at my ex-husband.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and when I open them, the man sitting there looks nothing like Ryan. Ugh…I know this is only because I told Erik all about Ryan earlier in the week. This occasionally happens and it’ll fade by next week.
“You okay?” Erik leans down and asks against my ear.
I smile up at him. “Yeah, I think I’m just tired.”
When we reach Tad, Nicole, and Cesar, all eyes are on us and the sleeping boy in Erik’s arms. I hug his mom and then Tad. The other man holds out his hand and introduces himself to me. I take it, giving it a quick shake. He doesn’t hold out his hand to Erik—Cesar just gives him a chin lift and Erik does the same. Gretchen joins us a few minutes later, lightening the mood, and her little girlfriends all stare at Erik like he’s a dream come to life.
We say our goodbyes and take Gretchen back to his parents’ home. Grant wakes up on the way. Once we get back, Grant and Gretchen set out the milk and cookies for Santa. After getting him ready for bed, I get him tucked in, and he’s so tired he’s asleep before I’m even to the door. When I get back downstairs, everyone else is back. I sit next to Erik on the couch and snuggle into him. I grab one of the cookies, making sure to leave crumbs on the plate. I open my mouth to take a bite, but it’s ripped from my hand.
Erik winks at me before taking a huge bite. He holds what’s left out to me. “Did you want this?” I snatch it back and shove the rest in my mouth, not even caring how unladylike it is. He just hugs me into his side.
Nicole brings out a bottle of champagne and pours us all a glass
. “It’s going to be so nice having a little one here for Christmas.”
“Thank you again for having us. That was so kind of you to include us.”
“Oh, absolutely, sweetheart—we’re happy that Erik’s finally found someone special to bring home.” Erik mutters something under his breath, and his mom smiles at me.
“We should get the gifts out of the back,” Tad says to me before going out with Erik to get them all.
When they come back inside, I help place the gifts under the tree. While arranging them, I see several with my name on the tag from his mom, and my eyes begin to burn. These people are a dream, and I’ve never felt more like part of a family.
My son is not going to know what to do with himself in the morning. On that thought, I say goodnight to everyone and head downstairs to Erik’s room. I throw on some red leggings with white snowflakes on them and an off-the-shoulder green long-sleeved t-shirt with a red camisole underneath.
I’m just braiding my hair when Erik comes down. He looks me up and down and smiles widely. “Love the jammies.”
“Thank you.” I watch him through the mirror in the bathroom as he strips out of his suit and down to his boxer briefs. As always, my mouth waters when I take in the hotness that is him. All ripped muscle, lightly tanned skin, and the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen.
He throws on a pair of sweatpants that sit low on his narrow waist, highlighting that fucking V that makes grown women stupid. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face. When I come into the bedroom, I rub my moisturizer on my face as Erik goes into the bathroom to take care of his business. I climb under the covers and snuggle into the bed. I’m so exhausted that I’m asleep before Erik even comes to bed.
