* * *
Megan let the curtain fall into place on the retreating figure. A soft tapping sounded at her bedroom door. “Who is it?” she called.
“Clarissa.”
“I’m exhausted,” she said through the door.
“Megan, let me in, or I’ll write to your mother.”
“That’s a terrible thing to threaten.”
“It is a promise, not a threat. Now, let me in.” A pregnant pause, then Clarissa added, “I’ve already begun the letter.”
Megan lifted her chin, and walked across the room. “Yes?” she asked, a fake smile plastered on her lips.
“Oh, Meggy,” Clarissa exhaled on a sigh.
“It’s better this way,” she said. “He can go on with his life and I’ll go on with mine.” Clarissa stepped forward and pulled Megan into her arms. “I hate him so much,” Megan mumbled, her façade slipping. She sobbed on her sister-in-law’s shoulder, tired of being strong.
“I know you do.”
“Why did he come back if he was just going to leave? It’s like losing him all over again.”
“I know.”
“I never want to see him again.”
“I know.”
“It hurts so much,” Megan sobbed even harder.
“What’s going on?” Justin asked, standing at the door in a robe, his hair disheveled.
“If Liam McTavish ever makes an appearance at this house again, I’m going to do him bodily injury,” Clarissa ground out, gently rubbing Megan’s back.
* * *
Justin sat on a large chair in his bedchamber, contemplating his former friend’s future when his wife entered the room. “How is she?”
“Asleep. How could he have done that to her all over again?”
“He didn’t know I ran the training facility or that Meggy was in residence.”
“What?”
“According to what he said earlier in the study, after Meggy’s attack, Wulfe and Mack conspired against him and sent him here. He had no knowledge who he would see once he arrived.”
“Oh, dear.”
He held out a letter for her to read. She took it from his fingers and quickly read the contents.
Southerby,
It was good seeing you again. You should be proud of your family. As I said earlier, I was tricked into coming here. If I had known I would have seen you or Meg, I would have refused. I never meant to cause your family additional pain. I wasn’t ready to see anyone, and don’t know that I ever will be. I know that I’ve hurt Meg all over again. All I can do is beg for her forgiveness and hope that she can find happiness in time.
L. McTavish
“Oh,” Clarissa sat heavily on her husband’s lap. “What are we going to do?”
“Let him go and pray they find their way back to one another. They both need time to heal. Here now, what’s this?” Justin wiped tears from his wife’s cheeks.
“It’s not fair,” Clarissa answered. “They have been through so much and now he is going to walk away from her all over again, and I’m to blame.”
“How are you to blame? You read the letter.”
“I ran into him in the stables and said a few choice words to him as well,” she explained. He listened as Clarissa recounted the events of her discussion with Liam.
“You were correct.” Justin tugged his wife close. “He did make choices that affected other people’s lives, and he must come to terms with that before he can move on. In the same breath, Meggy is going to have to find a way to forgive him or they’ll never come together.”
“Poor Megan,” Clarissa said cuddling into her husband’s embrace. “How can I tell her she is going to be an aunt again when she is so miserable?”
“She’ll understa… Wait, did you say she’s going to be an aunt again?”
“Yes,” Clarissa nodded, wrapping her arms around Justin’s neck.
“But that means…”
“Yes, Papa, there is going to be another little Southerby running about in seven months time.”
“I love you, Clare, but no more after this one. I feel we are tempting fate with four. Do you ken?”
“Yes, if you do. Remember, it does take two to make a baby,” she whispered before kissing him.
“Sweetheart, the children are my world, but you… You are my everything,” he whispered seductively and tunneled his fingers in her hair. He kissed her until all thoughts of Liam and Megan and their problems flew from her mind.
* * *
Liam rode aimlessly for hours. When the moon disappeared, he dismounted and walked Draco so the animal wouldn’t stumble in a rabbit hole. As of right now, the horse was his only friend, and he couldn’t bear to lose him, too. He came to a brook, dismounted, and then ground tied Draco. He lay back, staring up at the stars that looked like multi-colored gems twinkling in the inky black sky.
How many times, in that tiny room he had been locked in, had he wished to have Megan in his arms once more? That had been before his tormentors had unmanned him with too many beatings. He feared he would never be able to love Megan as she should be again. He had thought of talking about his problem with Chang, but had changed his mind at the last minute. Highlanders never admitted weakness, let alone that they weren’t a whole man, unable to perform in all ways.
His mind kept going back to the woman he had left behind a second time. Clarissa had been right. He had made choices, poor choices. Though, at the time, he thought they were noble. Then when doubts had crept into his mind, there had always been someone there, encouraging him and prodding him along, lying to him. Making him believe that his service was necessary, that the country could not survive without it.
In reality, there had been nothing glamorous about the life he had led for the past five years. It had been harrowing and bloody, but definitely not glamorous. At least when the soldiers came home, they had their uniforms to announce who they were and what they did. People thanked them for their sacrifice, for saving them from the Little Tyrant. When he came home, there had been no fanfare, no welcoming ceremony, nothing. It was as if five years of his life had been lost in a vacuum of time that nobody knew, or cared, about.
“You’re a bloody idiot, Liam McTavish.” His horse neighed in response. “What am I going to do?” At that moment, a star shot across the heavens. He stood up and walked to his horse. “Come, Draco, let’s see where that star leads us.” Liam and Draco walked across the country and finally came upon a group of buildings. The sun was just beginning to rise, fading the sky from gray to shades of pink and orange. He led his horse across the field and stumbled to a stop as realization dawned on him. He had come back to the training facility, but from the rear. “Bloody hell.” He shook his head and led Draco to the stable they had left hours ago and unsaddled the black gelding. Liam picked up his bag and carried it to the house. He tapped on the door and it was immediately opened by a familiar face. “I’m ba—”
Liam didn’t have time to duck from the fist that came at his jaw. He dropped his bag and lost his balance all at once. The first fist was followed up with a second to his gut. Liam landed on his rump, rubbing his jaw.
“That’s for not only making my sister cry, but also my wife. If you’re just coming back so you can leave in another day or two, then you can damn well pick up your sorry arse and get off my property, now.”
Liam looked up at him. “You’d make Gentleman Jackson proud,” he wheezed slightly.
“Dammit, Liam, this isn’t a bloody joke. Either stick around and fix whatever is wrong between you and my sister, or leave and never look back. One way or another, the two of you need to get on with your lives whether that be together or apart.”
“Help me up,” Liam held out his hand.
Justin helped him up and clasped him in a bear hug. “Welcome back.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s not going to be easy to win her back.”
“I’m not trying to win her back. I’m still convinced Megan doesn’t need me i
n her life. Too much about me has changed. She would be miserable tied to me. I want a job.”
“A job?”
“Yes, I’d like to work here. I’ll stay in the men’s dormitory. I think that would be best.”
“You don’t have to stay there.”
“Yes, I do.”
“All right, then. Let me walk you down there.”
“I know where it is. I’ll see myself down there.” Liam picked up his bag and walked down the drive.
* * *
“Who was at the door?” Clarissa asked Justin, wrapping her arms around him from behind.
“Liam.”
“Who did you say?” Clarissa stiffened.
“Calm down. I punched him. Twice.”
“Good for you.”
“You’re vicious when you’re increasing,” Justin shut the door and turned around in her arms, holding her tight.
“I’m protective of those I love…all of the time. Why didn’t he come inside?”
“He wants to be a trainer and feels he should live in the men’s dormitory.”
“Hmmm…”
Neither of them saw the woman standing at the top of the stairs, wondering how she should feel about both revelations.
Chapter 5
Megan spent the next few weeks avoiding Liam McTavish. In that time her face went through a myriad of colors as it healed. If I ever see Williams again, I’ll kill him myself, she declared to herself on more than one occasion. When the rest of her body healed, she snuck down to the stable before anyone in the house rose and worked with Legend. She made certain that she avoided the training facility above all else.
After a particularly grueling training session that produced their best time yet, she returned to the house with a broad smile on her face. She sought out her brother. Megan found him in his study with a frown upon his usual jovial face. She knocked softly on the door so as not to startle him too much.
“Come in, Meggy,” he ordered when he looked up and saw her. “What can I do for you?”
“Is everything all right? You look worried or angry, I can’t really tell which it is. I just know that it isn’t like you.”
“I’m fine, just worried about Clare.”
“What’s wrong?” Megan asked, feeling guilty that she had not been paying more attention to the household. Instead she had been too wrapped up in her own situation, or rather avoiding it altogether.
“Clare has been much more ill with this babe than any of the others. She hasn’t been able to keep anything down for several days now.”
“Have you called for a physician?”
“Aye. He said this is the misfortune of some women, shrugged his shoulders, and promptly left.”
“What a bloody fool,” Megan exclaimed. “Did you not seek advice from anyone else?”
“I thought to call the midwife. I wish Grandmother were here. She would know exactly what to do.”
“Aye, she would, but have you forgotten that you have an expert on your own land?”
“Who are you talking about?”
“Mother Davis. The woman that teaches the recruits about poisons,” she prompted. “She also teaches them about healing herbs as well. Don’t you remember?”
“I must admit, I’ve been so worried that Clare has been all that occupies my mind.”
“Go to your wife and tell her help is on the way. I’ll go down and get Mother Davis.”
“You’re an angel!” Justin jumped up from his chair and came around the desk. He pulled his sister into his arms and gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Have I told you I love you, brat?”
“I love you, too. Now go.” Megan pushed him in the direction of the staircase while she went out the doors that led to the veranda. Forgetting she still had on her men’s breeches that she wore when racing, she ran down to the training barn. As she approached, she slowed to a walk and got herself under control. She opened the door and saw the recruits sitting on the floor listening with rapt attention to the man standing in the middle of the floor. She quickly backed into the shadows, hoping to hear something, anything, without the risk of exposure.
“Your goal, as an, agent is to not only gather information that will help your government and country but to also keep yourself alive and anonymous. The best way to do that is to not be captured; however, best laid plans can go wrong.”
“How were you captured?” a voice called out from the group.
Wait, Megan thought, Liam had been captured?
“I made a mistake. I can’t pinpoint anything for certain, but I did not have the training you all are receiving. I had to feel my way as I proceeded through my missions. You,” he waved his hands about, encompassing the group as a whole, “will be much more prepared than I was. If you do find yourself captured, the best thing you can do is stay mentally one step ahead of your captors and remember, that at all cost, you must protect your country’s secrets. You must also never let them know that you have any weaknesses.
“I realized something very important a while back. An agent’s life is lonely and the job is thankless. You will never return to England with a parade being given in your honor. The people you pass on the streets will not thank you for keeping them safe. It is not a glamorous life and you can trust absolutely no one, ever. Someone will always be willing to turn you in for a bit of coin. Yet, we are necessary for the survival of our country. Each one of you needs to understand that going into this. It helps that none of you have family. If you do, you must cut all ties with them. It is the only way to protect not only yourself but them as well.”
Megan’s throat tightened with unshed tears.
“Is that what you did Mr. McTavish?” Megan looked at the girl who asked the question with a look of adoration in her eyes.
“Yes, Hannah.”
He already knows her name, Megan fumed silently. Is she the reason he decided to come back? She jealously wondered.
“How did you mentally stay ahead of your captors? It seems like it would be difficult,” a young man stated.
“You have to find a way to escape the punishment you are being meted out.”
“How were you punished, Mr. McTavish. If I might ask?”
“I don’t talk about it.”
“But if we are to be prepared for anything, shouldn't we know what we might face?” another young lady asked anxiously.
Silence met the group. Megan peeked around the corner and witnessed a dark brooding look on Liam’s face. She had never before seen such a look on his face. A tick could be seen along his jaw.
“Mr. McTavish?” Hannah asked hesitantly.
Megan’s hands clenched into fists at her side. She wanted to rip Hannah’s hair out and she didn’t care who was around to see.
“Starvation,” he began starkly.
The word brought Megan’s head up. She listened intently to every word he said.
“Just enough water to keep you alive but not enough to quench your thirst. Beatings. They’ll tie you up so that you can’t move, so that your muscles become weak, and you can’t fight back. Then the beatings begin. They will use whatever is available to them—fists, booted feet, pieces of wood, and whips. Regardless of the weapon, they always know where you’re most vulnerable. Ladies, you are most especially vulnerable. When it comes to war, men, and women for that matter, will do whatever it takes to become the victor. Always remember that.”
“How did you escape?” a young man from the back asked.
“Wellington led a charge on Ciudad Rodrigo to win it back. My guards were distracted by the fighting, and I saw my chance. It was a day that they had removed me from the shackles embedded into the wall. I believe it was to be my execution day. I had been in their custody for almost a year and still refused to reveal any secrets. Marshal General Soult grew weary of dealing with me. The French soldiers sent to retrieve me heard the gunshots and cannon fire. They believed I was too weakened from my captivity and beatings. My guards left me untied and unattended in order to see what
was happening. The worst thing you can do as a captor is to think your prisoner is too weak. They will prove you a fool every time. I was able to slip away in the heaviest of fighting.”
“What happened then?” Hannah queried, an adoring tone could be heard in her voice.
Yes, Megan thought sourly, I’m going to have to hurt her.
“I couldn’t yet reach Wellington. I made it to the outskirts of town and collapsed in a barn. An old Spaniard man found me. He and his wife saved my life. They risked their lives by taking me into their home and nursing me back to health. If the French would’ve found me in their care, not only would they have killed me, but also that kind couple.” A hush fell over the room as they all considered his words.
“Then you found Wellington, and he sent you on more missions,” a male voice predicted from the back.
“Yes and no. I did find Wellington who promptly informed me that in no way could I stay in Europe. I was a known spy, my identity had been compromised. I was a liability not only to myself and the cause but also to England. My next mission was across the ocean in the fight against our former countrymen.”
“What was it like?” a younger boy asked, excitement lacing his voice.
“One-sided until the end, and then it’s too bloody to talk about. The Americans showed their merit and will never be considered weak again. They have brilliant leaders that are moving up through their ranks. I expect great things to come from Colonel Andrew Jackson. He is a brilliant military leader and strategist. If you ever find yourself sent to America, remember he is a cunning man and there are men like him all throughout the government and military there. One day, they will become a great power in the world, perhaps even our ally.”
“That’s blasphemy, Mr. McTavish,” young Adam said.
“At this moment, yes. But in the future, not our time, nor perhaps even our children’s time, together England and America could become a great force in the world. But enough of that. The best way to escape capture and torture is to always remain alert and never trust anyone. Trusting the wrong people is the best way to get yourself killed or maimed.”
Enticing the Weary Warrior Page 6
