“I never wanted to return.”
“To England or to me?”
“Not just you. I never had any intention of making contact with my family or anyone from my past.”
“Why did you? Why did you come back?”
“Mack tricked me.”
“Mack? Mr. McKenzie? The Director of the War Office?”
“Yes.”
“How did he trick you?”
“He told me he needed correspondence delivered. He never told me who I was delivering it to.”
“I see. Did he trick you into staying on at the training facility.”
“No. That was my own stupidity.”
“And what about accompanying me on this trip and posing as my fiancée?”
“Again me.”
“I don’t understand, Liam. You had an opportunity to leave. Why didn’t you?”
“Dammit, I don’t know. All right? I followed a bloody falling star and it led me back to you.” He jumped to his feet and began to pace the small confines. He felt stupid even saying it.
“What did you say?” Megan asked. Was the man truly out of his mind speaking of falling stars?
“Nothing. Forget it.”
He looked like the caged tiger at the Tower Menagerie, desperately seeking some way to escape. Megan couldn’t help but stare at the way his muscles flexed in the firelight beneath the coarse pelt of dark, curly hair on his chest. “I wish you’d put on your shirt.”
“What?”
“Put on your bloody shirt,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m having a difficult time thinking with you looking like that,” she waved a hand to encompass his body.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Despite what I did to you?”
“You were having a nightmare.”
“Reliving a nightmare,” he muttered.
“What happened to you in the last five years, Liam?”
“Get dressed. As soon as this storm passes we move on.”
“That’s it? You’re just going to pretend the last five years didn’t happen? That we both don’t have memories that haunt us?”
“Oh, I know full well they happened. I have the scars to prove it, and I live with the nightmares every moment of my life, waking and sleeping.”
“Shouldn’t you talk about it?” she asked, deciding at the moment to hold her cards close and not reveal that she had eavesdropped and already knew his story.
“No, and if you continue on in this vein, I will walk out and good luck to you finding your way home.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” she ground out. Her hands were fisted at her sides. She watched him cock a challenging brow at her. “I hate you, Liam McTavish.”
“Good.”
“And I don’t want you pretending to be my fiancée for the races.”
“That would be best. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t believe that’s any of your concern,” she said haughtily.
* * *
They rode in late that evening to Justin’s house. “I’ll take care of the horses,” Liam said.
Megan nodded as she dismounted. They had not said more than a dozen words to one another since their heated exchange early that morning. She turned to go into the house when he called her name, halting her progress. “Yes?”
“You forgot this,” he tossed her the saddlebags that contained all the paperwork on Legend.
She took it and stomped to the house in anger. The butler opened the door before she reached it, letting a shaft of light spill on the ground. She entered the house and heard Clarissa’s voice drift down to her from upstairs.
“Megan, we’ve been worried sick. Is Mr. McTavish with you?”
“He’s putting up the horses.”
“You look awful,” Clarissa said. “What happened?”
“Can I tell you while I take a bath?”
“Of course. You sound just as bad as you look. Are you ill?”
“No,” she replied, her hand going to her neck. “How’re you feeling?” she asked Clarissa, turning the questions from herself.
“For the present, I’ll live,” she gave a crooked grin. “Just make certain that the only food you mention around me is tepid tea and toast.”
“Mother Davis wasn’t able to help you?”
“Oh, no, she did. I am no longer confined to my bed.”
“Do you mind asking for a bath to be readied for me?” Megan trudged up the stairs to her room and tossed the saddlebags in the corner.
“Come,” Clarissa ordered, indicating that Megan should follow her behind the screen. “It looks like you have been drug through mud and… Is that flecks of blood I see?” Clarissa asked as she inspected the jacket of Megan’s riding habit.
“Aye,” Megan responded, exhaustion leaking into her voice.
“Yours?”
“No.”
“Mr. McTavish’s?”
“No.”
“What happened to your neck?” Clarissa asked.
“If I tell you, you must promise me that you will not seek vengeance on my behalf. It was an accident, nothing more.”
“Go on.”
“When we’re alone,” Megan referred to the servants that were still going in and out of the room.
“Of course,” Clarissa agreed and helped Megan out of the rest of her clothes. When they were finally alone, and Megan was reclining in the bath, letting the hot water, oils, and steam ease her aches and pains, Clarissa began once more. “Let’s have it. What happened?”
“I don’t even know where to begin,” Megan started. “I left thinking I could make the quick trip to London on my own. Then, a few miles down the road, I felt someone following me.”
“Mr. McTavish,” Clarissa guessed. “Justin found his note that morning saying that he told the footman that he would go with you instead.”
“Thank goodness he did,” Megan finally admitted to herself as well as Clarissa, “or I might not be here now.”
The silence in the room drew out until Clarissa could take it no more. “You can’t just not say anything after a statement like that.”
“First of all, I made a stupid mistake and thought The Jockey Club was located in an area of London. So once we reached London, we had to travel the rest of the day to Newmarket. By the time we got there, it was too late, the club was closed and we had to find a place to stay. The next morning we went to the club and I was turned away. They do not allow women.”
“I’m sure you took that well.”
“I was livid. Liam offered to act as my fiancée and register Legend.”
“And you agreed?”
“What choice did I have? I have worked too hard and long getting Legend to this point.”
“You could have come back and asked your brother to register him.”
“Do you want to know what happened, or are you going to continue to throw up in my face what I could and should have done?”
“Go on,” Clarissa said stiffly.
Megan knew she should apologize, but she just couldn’t bring herself to say the words. “Liam registered Legend and informed me he has to be at all the races. It’s part of the club’s policy. We decided not to go back through London and were set upon by two highwaymen. We were tied to separate trees and gagged. Somehow Liam managed to free himself and then me. We started walking cross country in hopes of finding shelter.”
“Did you?”
“Aye.”
“Wait, you said walking.”
“They scattered our horses before a group of men came through looking for them. We found shelter and while Liam was checking to make certain it was safe, the men snuck up on me. One restrained me and the other held a gun to my head.”
“Megan,” Clarissa sighed and sat unsteadily on a chair. “What did you do?”
“It was not my finest moment. Liam somehow circled back without them detecting him. He shot the man with the gun trained on me. Th
e man who had me, let go, and turned on Liam who had no weapon, other than a knife that did little good. So, I picked up the dead man’s gun and shot the other man.”
“Dead?” Clarissa gulped.
“Aye,” Megan whispered.
“So that explains the blood and bruises.”
“Only the blood.”
“What?” Megan remained silent. “Megan, surely there isn’t more to this story,” Clarissa said, unable to fathom what Megan would say next.
“The weather turned bad, and we were forced to stay in this little shack together.” She paused and licked her dry lips before she continued. “A thunderstorm rolled in during the night and Liam was having a nightmare. I tried to wake him, and…” she broke off, not going any further with the story.
“Mr. McTavish did that to you?” Clarissa demanded, irate.
“He didn’t know.”
“He could have killed you in his sleep.”
“But he didn’t.”
“I will speak to Justin about this.”
“You won’t!” Megan argued, standing in the bath. She jerked the bath sheet up and wrapped it tightly about her.
“Megan, he could’ve killed you. Do you understand that?”
“Aye, I ken everything perfectly well.” She stepped out of the bath and walked to the fireplace, leaving a trail of wet footprints behind. Megan soaked in the warmth the fireplace gave off. She felt chilled to the bone despite just coming from a hot bath.
“He cannot stay here.”
“I don’t think he plans to,” Megan sounded dejected.
“You’re upset about this turn of events, aren’t you?”
“No. Yes. Maybe.”
“Which is it?”
“I don’t know!”
“Are you happy?”
“I don’t know. Part of me is desperate to keep him close. We’ve already lost five years and so much more, but then there is another part of me that thinks he gave me up. He chose that bloody war over me. How am I supposed to feel Clarissa? Justin walked away from the spy business for you. He chose you and the future you could build together over the excitement of espionage and war, but Liam didn’t. How would you feel if you were in my place?”
“Hurt, angry. I think I might want to box his ears and kiss him all at the same time.”
“Yes.”
“And this time together did not help matters, did it?”
“No. It just made me more…aware of him.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know,” she said deflated.
* * *
Liam heard someone approach the stable. He was brushing down Draco after having tended to Justin’s horse first.
“I owe you my thanks,” Justin’s voice resonated off the rafters.
“No, you don’t. I signed up for the job, and I fulfilled my obligation.”
“Obligation? Is that what this trip was to you? An obligation to ease the last five years from your conscience?”
“She’ll need you to act as Legend’s owner. You have to attend all the races.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Your sister needs you.”
“Oh, ho, that’s a laugh.”
“What?”
“You trying to tell me what is best for my sister when you walked out on her.”
“I didn’t walk out on her. The war—”
“That you had showed no interest in until it came time for you to marry Meggy. Tell me, Liam, what really happened? Did you get cold feet? Did the thought of being tied to one woman for the rest of your life make you nervous?”
“I was jealous, all right?!” Draco flinched at his master’s booming voice.
“Jealous of what?” Justin asked dumbfounded.
“It seemed as if all the men I knew were going out and living adventures, and I was stuck in Scotland, settling.”
“Settling with the feistiest woman I know. The two of you could have lived plenty of adventures together.”
“How many couples do that? Do you and your wife? What about your friends?”
“Liam, I don’t have that want. I’m satisfied where I am with my wife and children. Yes, we enjoy taking the occasional trip to Scotland or London, but for the most part we love being a family, living here, away from society.”
“Perhaps I felt the confines of being a family man too early, taking care of my brother and sister before our uncle stepped in.”
“I think you are full of shite, Liam McTavish. I think you’re just looking for excuses to explain why you ran away. You wanted adventure? Fine, you got adventure. Now you’re using what happened to you as a reason to stay away. You know what I think?”
“No, but I’m sure you’re going to enlighten me,” he said as he led Draco to his stall.
“You’re damn right I am. I think you’re a coward. I think the thought of being tied to one woman the rest of your life scared you, and it still does. You jump from one excuse to another, finding one that fits the current situation you find yourself in.”
“You’re a bloody liar. I loved Meg with my every being.”
“Aye, we know just how much you loved her.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Tell me, Liam, were you just using my sister to quench your lust?”
“We never—”
“And you’re a lying son of a bitch,” Justin pushed him against a column in the stable, his forearm braced against Liam’s neck. “Can you guess how I know you’re lying about touching my sister? I know because she came to Clare crying when you didn’t show up to marry her like you were supposed to. And you know why she was so upset? It wasn’t because you had left her; it was because her child was going to be a bastard.”
“Child? You lie!” Liam finally pushed Justin backwards.
“If only I were. She lost your babe the same day we received word of your death. The news came, and she got on her horse and rode as if the demons of hell were after her. Something happened out there, she has never spoken of it, but when she was found…”
“What?”
“She had put her horse down and she was covered in blood—her own. She was delirious with fever and they had to sedate her for days.”
“And you wonder why I won’t stay? I’ve ruined her life.”
“Aye, you have. I want you off my property. For your horse’s sake I’ll let you rest the night here, but I expect you to be gone in the morning. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for, but it will not involve this family.” When Justin reached the door, he turned and looked back at Liam. “Thank you for saving Meggy.”
Liam tried to assimilate all the information that Justin had told him. It was no wonder that Megan hated him. Justin was right, he had to leave here. He would pack what little he had and then he would sleep in the barn so he could be off as soon as the sun rose.
Chapter 9
“You did what?!” Megan slammed open her brother and sister-in-law’s bedroom door.
“I’d appreciate it if you’d knock next time,” Justin said, buttoning his shirt.
“If you don’t want someone barging in, then lock it,” she said. “I thought I told you not to tell him,” Megan turned on Clarissa, while pointing at her brother.
“Megan, we are married. I do not keep secrets from him,” Clarissa worried her hands.
“I can’t believe you told him about the bairn.” Megan turned on her brother.
“He needed to know.”
“You had no right to tell him. The bairn was between me and him, not you.”
“He needed to know that he can’t keep hurting you. He’s leaving in the morning.”
“Then I’m leaving, too.” She left their room and walked down the hall to her bedroom. She pulled out a bag and crossed to the dresser and stuffed clothes into it.
“Meggy, you’re actin’ like a fool,” Justin said.
Her head shot up and if she could kill with looks, he
r own brother would be dead. “It wasn’t your responsibility to tell Liam anything about the past.”
“I was tryin’ to protect you.”
“I don’t need your protection. Do you know why I married John?”
“Because of Paddy.”
Megan visibly winced at the name as if she had been struck.
“Justin,” Clarissa gasped.
“We can’t not talk about the boy as if he doesn’t exist,” he argued.
“Besides Paddy,” Megan cut in. “John let me mourn and let me heal in my own way. He didn’t pretend to know what was best for me. He didn’t have someone constantly watching me for fear that I might do something irresponsible. For the first time ever, I was in charge of my life, and I made my own decisions. I refuse, refuse, to lose my independence to you or anyone else.”
“How do you expect to get Legend in the races?”
“That’s my problem, not yours.”
“Meggy—”
“You shouldn’t have interfered, Justin. Now, if the two of you will please excuse me, I must dress for travel.”
“Please be reasonable. It’s late. You won’t be able to go anywhere tonight,” Clarissa tried to be the voice of reason.
“I’ll sleep in the ladies dormitory or the stable.”
“You’re just being ridiculous now,” Justin said, tunneling his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Get out,” she growled. Anger vibrated through her body. “I said, ‘get out’,” she ordered once more, pointing at the door, when he just stood there.
Justin threw up his arms and left her room. Clarissa remained in the doorway, torn between her husband and her sister-in-law. “He was only looking out for you,” Clarissa said.
“I’m old enough to not need anyone to look out for me.”
“Of course you don’t. Just like you didn’t need anyone to look out for you when Williams attacked you, or when that highwayman held a gun to your head.”
“Those were different.”
“Megan, you’re reckless and I only pray that your recklessness doesn’t see you harmed worse than you already have been.”
“How dare you?”
Enticing the Weary Warrior Page 10
