He tumbled down an incline and into the shallow trench. Something soft was under him. Liam ripped free a piece of the lining of his coat and used it to clear his eyes. He lifted up and saw a soldier beneath him. A man, no, a boy who had a gaping wound in his chest. His eyes were locked open in a death stare, his mouth ajar in a silent scream. He was so damn young!
A whistling sounded overhead. Liam twisted, pulling the dead soldier over him for protection just as another cannonball exploded nearby. He pushed the body to the side and jerked the loaded gun from the corpse’s stiffening fingers. Jumping to his feet, he charged toward the enemy line, screaming in a blind rage, the gun at the ready. He pulled the trigger and barely saw the small fire that exited the barrel of the gun.
Before he knew what happened, the ground was rushing up to meet him. He looked around and saw that he was in a sea of bodies. Some British, some American. The blood mingled with the water from the river, turning it a dark maroon. There was so much blood. He began pushing himself up when he felt the the barrel of the gun press into his side. Liam pulled the small pistol from his waistband turned and slowly pulled the trigger. A familiar feminine snore reached his ears, out of place with the scene that lay before him.
He opened his eyes and saw the gun in his hand pointed at Megan’s head. Her nude form was relaxed in sleep; her elbow pressed into his side. He quickly moved the gun and gently released the pressure on the trigger. Shakily he laid the pistol on the little bedside table from where it came. He pushed himself to a sitting position. Liam cradled his head in his hands at the realization of how close he had come to killing Megan. Shivers wracked his large frame and sweat covered his body. He thought they had been getting better…more nights had passed without the nightmares than with them. He had been lulled into hopefulness and a false sense of confidence.
The nightmare still played vividly in his mind. It was the final battle against the Americans all over again, including that last bit when it was kill or be killed. Liam scrubbed his face as he realized Megan’s boney elbow had almost gotten her killed. Tears burned the back of his eyes and he blinked furiously to keep them at bay. He sniffed and dug his fists into his eye sockets relishing in the ache from the one eye she had blackened. When his legs felt like they would hold him upright, he stood and crossed the room to the washstand. Liam sluiced water over his face and head, then dried himself. He pulled on his clothes as quietly as possible, though it wouldn’t matter with the way Megan could sleep through anything, including almost being murdered. He picked up his boots and the gun and quietly slipped from the room.
Liam made his way down the hall to the library. In the corner stood a free-standing mahogany safe. He paused at the desk and opened a drawer that held several small keys. Liam gathered them in his hand, walked to the safe, and placed the saddlebags on top of it. He lowered the front of the wooden cabinet revealing an intricate lock requiring all three keys to reach the interior.
Liam spent several minutes attempting to figure out which key fit into which lock. Once he accomplished that, he heard three soft snicks then pulled lightly on the door. He placed the pistol inside the safe, along with two others he kept in the desk. The pistols joined the paperwork he had put in the safe earlier that evening. He closed the door and locked it once more, then lifted the ornate wood cover back into place. Liam dropped the keys back into the desk drawer then collapsed into the chair and let out a shaky sigh. His head fell back to rest against the chair and he stared blindly up at the ceiling. He could picture Megan lying in bed and in the blink of an eye he could see her covered in blood, much like the soldier he had used as protection in that brutal attack.
“I won’t touch you again,” he vowed. “Not until I have these nightmares under control.” Silence filled the expansive room. “I have to get help or leave you forever,” Liam voiced the only two choices he saw available to him. He had the racing season to decide which it would be.
Chapter 18
“Mama, wake up!”
Megan pried open one heavy eyelid to see Paddy bouncing up and down on the bed. Her head pounded with his every movement. Her eyes were irritated and puffy and her face blotchy. Damn Liam McTavish and damn me for giving him the power to hurt me like this, she thought. “Love, you have to stop,” Megan instructed Paddy, making sure her nude form was fully covered. She tried to roll over and return to slumber. After spending much of the rest of the night chasing her scattered thoughts, what little sleep she had gotten had been disturbed by nightmares, with most of them ending with either her or Liam dead. Now that it was light outside, she just wanted to curl up and sleep.
“Mama, get up!” Paddy grabbed her arm and rocked her back and forth to get her attention.
“Come here,” she pulled him down so that he was cuddled in front of her. “Tell me about your trip here,” Megan coaxed. Soon the little boy was rattling on about his big adventure, and Megan found herself drifting off to sleep. Paddy continued on with his story unaware that his Mama no longer listened. Before long, he was yawning and joining her in dreamland.
* * *
“Are you packed yet?” Liam jerked to a halt when he entered the bedroom. There, in the bed, Megan lay under the covers with Paddy curled against her on top of them. Both were sound asleep. He stood watching them, and peace unlike any he had ever known settled over him. This was his family that lay before him—his wife and son. Even though he was not his son by blood, he would make certain Paddy always felt as if he were his child.
He knew Megan had to be exhausted. For the most part, sleep had been elusive for him last night, and he felt certain she had not slept well either. On the occasions she had drifted off, she was restless, tossing and turning, mumbling in her sleep. Several times she cried out. Each time he had wanted to pull her into his arms, but knew that would be a mistake. The next time he had her in his arms, he promised himself he would tell her how he felt, and it would not be while she was half asleep. She would be fully awake and aware of what was going on. He would also have his nightmares well in control.
However, there were some things that he had to do before that happened. Things that would make him feel better about himself. Things that he had to face instead of run from. They also needed to figure out who wanted to harm Megan and stop them before something worse happened. He would not lose her to some man suffering from too much ego. He pushed away from the door, ending his reverie and crossed to the bed.
He clapped his hands loudly and rubbed them together. “Wake up, sleepyheads. You’re wasting the day.”
“Go away,” Megan muttered and burrowed further beneath the blankets.
Liam bent over and scooped Paddy up in his arms. “What is this, little man? I sent you up here to wake your Mama up, and what do you do? Join her for a nap. A sad soldier you make,” he said, letting dramatic sadness lace his voice.
“I wasn’t napping,” Paddy argued, wiping at his eyes and yawning.
“Then what were you doing?”
“I was telling Mama about my trip…”
“Yes?”
“And then…”
“Yes?”
“We were counting the holes in our eyelids,” the muffled reply came from beneath the bed covers.
“And how many are there?” Liam asked, going along with Megan’s story.
“Too many to count. If you leave me alone, I’ll give it another try, and let you know the outcome,” she suggested, still fully covered by the bedding, head and all.
“What a wonderful idea,” Liam agreed. He put Paddy down and shooed him out the door indicating that he should remain quiet.
“It is?” The voice underneath the covers sounded suspicious.
“Yes,” he replied, just the barest hint of his Scottish brogue beginning to reemerge after having been around Megan’s influence. He tiptoed across the room, took a flannel and dipped it into the cool water in the pitcher. He very carefully squeezed out just enough of the water. “You had quite an ordeal yesterday and tossed an
d turned most of the night. You just go back to sleep.” Liam crept close to the bed, took a corner of the covers, and flipped them back revealing his wife’s beautiful, nubile body. He fought his body’s reaction to seeing her and instead dropped the soaking wet flannel on her luscious back before racing through the doorway and pulling the door shut behind him.
“Liam McTavish! I swear I’ll get you for that!”
He laughed as he walked away from the door.
“Mama sounds mad, Papa,” Paddy said.
Liam knew the boy enjoyed saying Mama and Papa because he tried to incorporate the words into as many of his sentences as he possibly could. It must have been a lonely existence for him when he and Megan were torn apart. Part of him hoped that John was responsible for Megan’s accident. It would give him a chance to show the man what he truly thought about him before turning him over to the authorities for attempted murder. Liam grinned as he relished the possible moment.
“Papa, did you hear me?” Paddy asked, putting his little hand in Liam’s large one and tugging on it to garner his attention.
“She’s mad, but nothing she won’t get over,” he answered. “And trust me, she’ll try to make me pay for it. I’ll have to watch out for her. Will you help me?” He saw the hesitation in Paddy’s face. He was being torn between two parents, and he didn’t know what to do. “You know, we men have to stick together,” Liam added lightly, almost teasingly.
“We do?”
“Yes, you see women are much smarter than we are, so we are at a disadvantage.”
“Oh,” the little boy said sagely. After thinking for a few moments he asked, “Why are they smarter than us?”
“Well, son, because women, especially your Mama, can do anything. Your Mama can ride like the wind, she shoots, and she can tell you what’s wrong with a horse just by looking at it. She seems to always know what we need before we say a word. She will do whatever she must to protect you, even if that means temporarily stepping out of your life. But most importantly she takes care of you and me and does everything in her power to make sure we are happy and cared for. I think that makes her pretty smart and special don’t you?”
“Yes, Papa. We’re lucky aren’t we?”
“More than you know, son. More than you know,” he replied as they disappeared down the stairs.
* * *
Megan stood, wrapped in the coverlet, leaning against the door. Her heart felt like it would burst with the emotions coursing through her body. She slipped to the floor and sat there, pulling the bedding tightly around her. Silvery tears raced down her face. There was no doubt now, regardless of how he had turned against her last night, she was definitely arse over head in love with her husband, despite his disappearing act. The reasons why were too numerous to list, but several kept running through her mind.
First, it was a special man who felt comfortable enough to open up to a woman about his physical insecurities. Second, when they had overcome his physical condition, he always made sure she was fully satisfied above anything else. He was tender with her, even when he thought he wasn’t. And finally, there was the way he treated Paddy. Paddy wasn’t just a child to Liam. In a few short days, he had fully opened his heart to the boy and treated him as if he were his own child. She knew he still had demons he fought on a daily basis, and she vowed to stand by his side and help him face them down.
“Get yourself under control,” Megan ordered herself, swiping at the tears that spilled over her lashes. A knock sounded at the door causing her to jump to her feet. She crossed the room before calling out, “Ye…” She stopped and had to clear her throat before continuing. “Yes?”
“Lord Brookdale sent me up to help you get ready,” a maid said as she entered the room.
“Ready for what?”
“He’s decided to move the family to the new estate today instead of waiting. I’m to help you dress and pack enough things to tide you over for a few days. I’ll see that all the rest of your things are packed and will follow within the week.”
“Well, then, I guess we should get busy, shouldn’t we?
* * *
“Are you sure this is our estate?” Megan asked in awe. Both she and Paddy pressed their faces against the coach’s windows.
“I’m certain.”
“It’s much too grand for me,” she argued.
“Me, as well,” Liam agreed, “but according to the paperwork, this is ours, along with a London townhouse, and a piece of land with a hunting lodge on it in the Highlands.”
“All of that?” she asked, shocked.
“Yes. And a sizable bank roll.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said, dazed.
“I know. It’s difficult to take it all in. I have yet to explore all of the property. I did look at some of it. I think it is a perfect place to raise and breed horses, and it is still within easy access to the major and best racing facilities. I look forward to hearing your opinion.”
The carriage rolled to a stop, and Paddy jumped out the door. He ran across the lawn before they could stop him.
“He needs a keeper,” Liam said.
“He needs a pet,” Megan countered.
“A dog or a cat?”
“He’s a boy that can’t sit still.” She tilted her head back and laughed as Liam lifted her down from the carriage. “A cat would be much too docile for him. No, he needs a young pup that will be as energetic as he is and that will grow with him.”
“If I remember correctly, my uncle had begun to breed Deerhounds before… Well, perhaps I’ll write him and see if he has a litter of pups or will have one soon.”
“That would be nice,” Megan said, not daring to say anything else. If he was considering writing his uncle about a pup, that meant he was ready to let his family know he was hale and hearty. She leaned towards him, but felt deflated when he took a step back.
“Shall we go in and inspect the house?” he asked.
“I’d rather inspect the outside first.”
“Perhaps I’ll see if Uncle has a pup for you, too.”
“Hmmm.” She tapped her finger against her lip. “Perhaps you’re right. They do say dogs are easy to train to obedience, unlike other…creatures.” She gave him a coy look and sashayed after Paddy.
After taking the tour of the land, Megan had to agree that other than Ireland, this was just about a perfect place to breed and raise racehorses. The stables were large and well-built, and the paddock was huge. A training track lay further beyond the stables and paddock, but most importantly there were acres of lush, green grass suitable for grazing. She was in a euphoric haze that abruptly evaporated upon seeing the front of the house up close. A double staircase curved around to the massive double front doors set within the pink marble house. Four stories of windows stared ominously at Megan. She took a deep breath, held the front of her dress aloft, and climbed the right side of the staircase.
A butler held the door open and introduced himself as Angus. They entered into a large foyer that had a single staircase that climbed halfway up to the first floor to a large landing, then it broke off to both the left and right. The rest of the house was just as large and lavish. The furnishings and bric-a-brac scattered about were definite reflections of the previous owner. The furniture in the first floor rooms was spindly and looked as if it would break if someone looked at it the wrong way. Flocked wallpaper covered the walls in the parlor, making Megan want to rip it in two. The breakfast room was nice, and the formal dining room was overwhelming. A huge hutch held every type of delicate piece of dinnerware known to man. Megan swore she could feel herself breaking into hives and her throat closing up on her. I’m expected to oversee the running of this? she thought worriedly. Then she felt a reassuring hand at the small of her back. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“This is…beautiful,” she hesitated over the last word.
“You’re a horrible liar,” Liam teased.
“You’re right,” she admitted. “The furnit
ure, the wall coverings, the—”
“Before you condemn everything, let’s finish looking about the rest of the house. Back there is a ballroom and a conservatory,” Liam nodded down a long hallway with his head. “Shall we?”
“Might as well,” she shrugged and followed him.
Across from the formal parlor was a retiring room for gentlemen. The room consisted of deep, rich wood, and heavy green velvet drapes. Oversized leather club chairs were scattered about the room. She spied a table with a green velvet top for cards. Then in front of one of the large windows was a billiard’s table. Above it was a large square-framed chandelier that held over a dozen candles that could be lit. It looked like it was maintained and lit by a pulley system that went from the ceiling to the wall where a rope wrapped around a cleat like one would find on a ship or a dock. The room exuded masculinity and smelled like tobacco and leather and Megan felt much more comfortable here than in the formal parlor.
They moved onto the ballroom. It was modest and grand all at the same time. She decided she had been in larger ones, but someone had gone to a great deal of trouble decorating this one. Grecian columns dotted the room, and the walls were painted a crisp white. Three large chandeliers hung from the ceiling with gold medallions above each one. She had been in a ballroom before, had even been raised in a house with one, but to know she would someday have to host a ball here almost caused her to have a panic attack. That was until she saw Paddy sitting at her feet and tugging off his shoes. “What are you doing?”
Instead of answering, he jumped up, ran across the room, and then stiffened his legs. He slid well over ten feet before coming to a stop and doing it again. Both Megan and Liam laughed and clapped. She stole a peek at Liam and smiled at how relaxed he seemed for a change. Megan also felt her own mood lighten considerably. Before she had time to think about it, she sat on the floor and tugged at her own boots. Once they were off, she joined Paddy, racing across the floor and sliding, seeing who could go further. They pretended to skate and then Liam joined them in the middle of the floor, spinning first one and then the other. Megan collapsed on the floor, giggling uncontrollably, then Paddy joined her.
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