“Look at those stars, Ma. Look how beautiful they are. You can’t beat that beauty. That’s God right there. In addition, He doesn’t want you isolating yourself from the world either. You never know, you might find another man to love.”
Her mother recoiled at the thought, pulling away from the open door. “No. Perish the thought!” she shook her head vigorously and turned to go back in the trailer to her comfortable chair. Emily grabbed her arm and gently pulled on it.
“Ma! Don’t. Come and look to see how beautiful it is.”
“You showed me,” her mother said, keeping her face away from the open door. “I saw.”
“But you didn’t… you need to come out here. Just on the step. Just the first step and let the fresh air flow over you.”
“I get plenty of fresh air when I go to the bathing tent.” She was determined to pull away from her daughter but neither wanted to be forceful enough to get the other to do what she wanted her to do.
“Oh, Ma. You can’t keep doing this. When was the last time you came to see me and Ryan perform? It upsets me. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
Her mother crumpled, becoming weak in the knees. Emily moved closer and caught her in a tight hug. “Ma. Are you all right?”
“I don’t want you to be unhappy, my girl. I really don’t. But I don’t know how to handle these emotions. They are getting worse. I dream about your father every night. Oh, Em. I do want to be happy.”
“Then come for a walk with me. Just a short walk. We won’t go out of the trailer area. Come and see the performance place they have here in Wickenburg. It looks like a really nice town, though I only got to see it when we were passing through. I want to go back, meet some of the people, and eat their food. I think it would be a peaceful and exciting experience, both at the same time.”
Her mother strengthened herself, gave her daughter a hug back and pulled away. She kept both hands on her daughter’s arms. She looked into her eyes for a moment before saying, “I’ll give it a try, Em. For you. I do want to see this lovely little town you’re talking about.”
“Do you want to go in town? We can go to the restaurant. I don’t know how late they’re open, but we can try.”
“Are you sure it isn’t too late?”
“No, it’s barely eight. I think they will still be open. Most places don’t close until late.”
“How long will it take to walk there? Should we take a buggy?”
“I don’t think we need to. This area may be on the outskirts, but it is pretty close to town. The main part of town, too. I hear this place throws a celebration for everything and anything under the sun.”
Her mother smiled at her. “Is that so? It sounds like a town filled with people who like to have good fun.”
“Yes, exactly. So… you really want to walk to town with me?”
Her mother blinked rapidly in a nervous way. “Yes, I do. I’m going to try it. I can’t remember the last time I left the trailer except to go straight to the bathing tent.”
Emily held on to her mother’s hand as she went through the door, taking the lantern from the hook as she went. She smiled up at the sky, turning as she went down the stairs to make sure her mother hadn’t returned to her comfortable chair. She hadn’t. She was standing on the top step, looking up, clutching Emily’s hand tight.
For a moment, Emily feared her mother was going to stop where she was. “Ma?” she said, anxiously.
Her mother shook her head. “I’m all right. I haven’t been out at night in a very long time. I only bathe during the day.”
“Of course. Come on. It’s easy. You’ll get used to it again.” She tried to use a voice that was as encouraging as possible. After taking a deep breath, her mother came down the stairs, watching her feet so she didn’t fall.
“We should probably take a buggy. We shouldn’t walk in the dark. What if someone comes up and takes us? What if there are Indians around?”
“There are no Indians around here, Ma!” Emily wanted to laugh but was afraid she’d hurt her mother’s feelings. “We’ll be safe. I’d rather walk.”
“I’m just not sure about this, Emily. We don’t know the area. We might get lost trying to get to town. Maybe we should wait until the daylight and get that young man you talked to today show us around.”
Emily’s mind was flooded with thoughts of Sam. How they had walked together and talked together so easily. As if they had always known each other. Then again, like they didn’t know each other. However, it was obvious both of them wanted to.
“I’d like that. But I don’t think Ryan is going to let that happen.”
They began walking through the rows of trailers, going to the main road they had traveled on to get to the site. Emily was sure if they walked the main road, they would run into all the sights Wickenburg had to offer.
“Why? What is wrong with Ryan?”
Emily looked at her mother. Surely her mother didn’t need it explained to her.
“He’s under so much pressure, Ma. You know that. And not being able to leave the rodeo… he knows how much I want to. I don’t think he wants to be here either. I don’t know how he feels about that. It always comes back to the fact that we simply can’t leave. And if I leave, it puts the two of you in jeopardy. I don’t want anyone hurting you because of my actions, Ma. Do you understand?”
“Of course I do. I sacrificed a lot for you and your brother when you were very young. I see the sacrifice you are making for your brother.”
“But I can’t keep it up. I need to have a life. Maybe you can talk to Ryan about it for me. Tell him I have to find a way out of this situation.”
“I think he would also very much like to find a way out,” her mother said, sounding clearer than she had in a long time. Emily looked over at her, blinking in amazement. Her mother was almost glowing in the moonlight. Her skin was lit up and for the first time, Emily noticed how smooth and lovely her skin was. She wondered if she was as pretty in the moonlight as her mother was. “But he is just as stumped as we are, Em. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s making him act irrationally.”
“He has to stop, Ma. He has to stop thinking like that and start coming up with a plan. If he would stay sober long enough, we could have a decent conversation.”
“Why don’t you talk to him before the performance? He’s never drunk then.”
Emily nodded. “That’s true. But if I talked to him about formulating a plan to escape this hell right before a performance, someone might get accidentally shot.”
Her mother looked at her. “Accidentally shot?” She sounded a little offended. “Your brother is an excellent marksman. There is no doubt of his skill.”
“I know, Ma. But it’s his emotions, we’re talking about. And he acts out whether he’s drinking or not.”
Her mother shook her head. “My poor boy. Such a terrible situation for him to be in.”
“I know. And it affects the rest of us, too.”
“I will talk to him for you, Em. I’ll try. I don’t know if I’ll be at all successful. But I will try.”
“Thank you, Momma. That means a lot to me. He doesn’t get angry with you like he does me. He won’t be mean to you, or yell at you or treat you like a child. That’s what he does to me, you know. He shakes his finger at me and I hate that.”
Her mother smiled gently. “I’ll talk to him for you.”
CHAPTER NINE
THE LOOK OF LOVE
THE LOOK OF LOVE
The next day, Sam decided he would go track down Emily in the early hours of the morning before the show. He wanted to tell her why he hadn’t shown up for her second performance. He thought she would think it quite funny that he’d stayed behind so he wouldn’t distract her. He planned to go to one of the showings today but he wasn’t going to tell her which one and he was going to sit in the back and try to look inconspicuous. It wasn’t easy for a big Irishman like him to go without being seen. He would just have to try. Maybe he could duck behind
someone else so she wouldn’t see him when she walked around at the beginning.
He approached the area with trepidation. He didn’t want to see Ryan stomping around. He was going to avoid having to beat the man into the ground at all costs. He had a feeling there was another side to the situation. Based on what he’d heard in the Horse N Saddle the night before, his opinion of Ryan had changed.
He remembered Andrew’s words, too. Trying to piece together the puzzle was not in Sam’s grasp. He didn’t have all the pieces yet.
He approached the trailers first, passing by the road that would take him to the performance area. He walked so that he had an opportunity to duck behind a trailer or buggy or some kind of large object in case Ryan appeared.
He stopped a safe distance away from Emily’s trailer, wondering whether he wanted to knock or not. There was a good chance Ryan was in there. He had no idea where Ryan was at the time. He took a few more steps toward it and stopped. He thought he could hear raised voices coming from inside. He frowned and went even closer.
When the door slammed open, Sam stepped quickly to the side and hid behind the next trailer. He looked around the corner to see Emily step out on the top stair. She turned and yelled at Ryan, “You have to stop controlling me, Ryan. We need to come up with some way to get out of this because I don’t think I’m going to leave this town. I think there’s a chance I could be happy here. I am not going to want to leave. This has been coming for a long time. You know that.”
Sam was surprised he had to strain to hear her. When they had been in the trailer, he could hear them yelling but not their words. As soon as she stepped out, Emily dropped her voice to a level that only Ryan and her mother would hear, if she had it her way.
“It’s all because of that cowboy.”
“He’s not a cowboy. You saw him in the saloon yourself. You know that’s his place of business.”
“Owning a business doesn’t mean you ain’t got the personality of a cowboy.”
“Oh for goodness sake, this is ridiculous. Have you lost your mind? You aren’t even making any sense. All men are different, no matter what they do for a living. You can’t judge one person because of what others in their occupation do. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
She spun around and went down the steps, taking off over the field toward the woods.
Sam looked back to the trailer. Ryan had come out on the step, one hand gripping the doorjamb.
“Emily! Emily!” he yelled.
His mother came up behind him and Sam saw her for the first time. She looked haggard. Her cheeks were drawn in like she hadn’t eaten in a while and her long black dress hung off her like a tent. He was shocked by her appearance. She grabbed her son’s arm and pulled on him.
“Be quiet, Ryan! If Max hears, he will come and ask what’s going on. I don’t want to draw any attention to ourselves.
Ryan turned to her, a pained look on his face. “Where is she going, Ma? Why is she doing this?”
“She doesn’t want to be here anymore, Ry, you know that. She doesn’t want to keep performing. She wants a normal life.”
“It’s because of the bartender!” Ryan growled. “It’s all his fault.”
“From what Emily has told me, it isn’t all his fault. It can’t be. She has been talking about leaving the rodeo for at least a year. So this bartender isn’t to blame. He might be the answer to her prayers. That’s how she’s thinking of it.”
Ryan made a sound of anger deep in his throat. He spun around and pushed past his mother to go back inside. She followed him and the door closed.
Sam stood frozen, unable to believe he’d just seen what he had. He looked to where Emily was. She was almost to the treeline and hadn’t stopped running. She had those breeches on that her mother made for her. He thought she looked good in them. He was about to go after her when the door to the trailer in front of him opened up and a man emerged. Sam recognized him as the announcer at the show.
He was pulling on his announcer’s jacket. His face looked angry. He stomped through the dirt to the Whittaker trailer, stepped up to the door and pounded on it with his fist. Without waiting for an okay, he turned the handle and pushed. It was locked. He pounded again.
“Open up!”
The door was opened by someone Sam couldn’t see and the man went in. He slammed the door behind him.
What the devil is going on? Sam thought. He went around the back of another trailer and went after Emily. She had disappeared into the woods but he could still see her breeches as she walked. She must have realized Ryan was not coming after her and stopped running. He ran as fast as he could to the tree line and past.
“Emily!” he called out. She spun around, a look of utter fear on her face. When she saw it was him, the look of relief that took its place was apparent. She stayed where she was, waiting for him to catch up.
When he was a few feet away from her, he stopped, breathing hard. “Emily, what is going on? I was coming to see and make sure you’re all right. And I saw you run out of your trailer. Are you all right?”
She didn’t say anything. Her head was down but he could see a look of sadness on her face.
“I can’t talk to you, Sam. I can’t. It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t know.” She put her hands over her face and started to cry. He moved close to her and put his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to him. He patted her hair and squeezed her.
“Emily. It’s going to be all right. Don’t cry. I wish we had known each other longer so you’d know I will help you if you are in trouble. I want you to trust me and you don’t even know me.”
“I feel like I do,” she responded through her tears, putting her arms around him to return the hug. “It’s a strange feeling but I do feel like I know I can trust you. But this… this is a situation that you can’t help with. And it involves my family and they would be hurt if I told someone what we’re going through.”
“I know you want to leave the rodeo,” Sam said, pulling away from her and holding her at arm’s length so he could look in her eyes. “I know something is up with that Max character. I know your brother is afraid. I just can’t put all the pieces together.”
As he spoke, Emily’s eyes opened wide. Her hands returned to her mouth. “What makes you say that about Max?”
“I saw him come out of his trailer and go into yours. He looked angry.”
Emily pulled in a deep breath. She seemed to cry out in a soft high-pitched voice. She spun around, ripping away from his large hands, and took off again.
“Emily!” he called out. She turned but continued moving backward.
“I can’t, Sam! I’m sorry! I just can’t!” She turned around again and ran off into the woods.
Sam stood there, watching her. “But you don’t know where you’re going,” he said in a soft voice.
He watched until he could no longer see her. Then he turned and looked back toward the trailer with narrow eyes. He wanted to know what was going on but on the other hand, it wasn’t really his business. He couldn’t go to the Whittaker trailer, bang on the door, and demand to come in. He didn’t know what he could do.
He made his way back through the field to the dirt road that separated the woods from the celebration spot. Once there, his eyes still focused on the Whittaker trailer, Sam turned to go down the road toward town. It would take him past the entrance to the rodeo site, where he’d left his horse.
His mind was whirling with possibilities. When he thought hard about it, it seemed like Max was holding them hostage. He didn’t know why or what could possibly be so bad that he could wield that kind of power. He thought about Mrs. Whittaker, wondering what part she played in this.
He saw his horse in the distance and hurried toward him. Once there, he pulled himself up into the saddle.
He turned his horse and galloped toward town.
Max left the trailer, slamming the door behind him. Ryan looked at his mother. She had tears in her eyes.
“
Oh, Ryan,” she said. “There must be something we can do about this. I don’t know how much more Emily can take.”
“How much more Emily can take?” Ryan replied in an exasperated voice. “What about me? I’m the one who’s going through all this. It’s all about me! Emily doesn’t come into this.”
His mother shook her head. “What’s happening here affects all of us.” She reached to her right and took a hairbrush from the small table there. She pulled it through her hair, sitting up in her comfortable chair. Ryan watched her. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something to clean herself up, other than bathe. When she pulled the brush through the long brown strands, he realized that it was clean, just not brushed. Once it was brushed, it flowed long and thick around her. She flipped her head to the other side and brushed it that way.
“You have beautiful hair, Ma. Why do you hide it? Why do you hide in this trailer? You should come out and enjoy the sunshine and the company. There are some good people in this town. I met one the other day. Name of Adam Collins. I’m sure you could find some older ladies that would enjoy talking to you. You’re a good person to talk to.”
She smiled at him. Again, he was taken aback by it. He hadn’t seen a genuine smile from his mother for a long time. He shook his head. “Are you okay? You look like something has changed.”
“I’m fine, my dear. I think I’m ready to rejoin society. I used to be a very strong woman. You know that. When you were little and your father was alive, I had many friends. I went to all the gatherings and fun things we could do with you and your sister. When he died…” she hesitated. “I have to accept that I’m not going to have my love back. And I do have you and your sister, and I should be taking care of you. I have to take care of myself to be able to take care of you. Isn’t that right?”
Ryan nodded. “Yes. I’m glad to hear you say that, Ma. I want you to be happy again.”
Mrs. Whittaker was feeling better. The fight between Emily and Ryan had made her feel bad inside. Then Max coming in and blasting them made it worse. However, just before he left, she’d looked through the window and saw something she hoped to see.
The Bride’s Secret_A Western Romance Story Page 7
