by Amy Rognlie
She turned her head as the Capernaum edged closely past a dilapidated sailing packet with the unlikely name of Stella gracing its bow. The mass of hopeful, fatigued faces tore at her heart. Where were all these people headed?
“Sad, isn’t it?” Ben’s quiet voice broke into her thoughts.
Raine nodded.
“Most of these ships are full of Polish and Russian Jews, fleeing from the pogroms.”
Raine shook her head. Somehow, the suffering of other people always put one’s own life into perspective. “We have a lot to be thankful for, don’t we?”
Ben squeezed her hand. “That we do, Raine. That we do.”
The Capernaum docked at Staten Island, awaiting the Ellis Island inspectors that would come aboard and conduct the medical examinations.
“How long does this usually take?” Raine asked.
“Well, it depends on how many passengers there are and how thorough the exams are.” He smiled at her sparkling eyes and glowing skin. “I don’t think you have much to worry about.”
“I’m afraid Constance is worried.”
Ben gazed into the ship’s saloon where the larger woman sat waiting. “She does look rather nervous.” Even the feathers on her Chanticleer hat were quivering. He shook his head, not understanding why a woman would wear a hat shaped like a rooster.
“I’ll go sit with her,” Raine suggested.
“That’s a good idea. I need to run up to my quarters for the manifest, anyway. The inspectors always want to see it.” He took another peek at Constance’s hat as he walked away. The look on his face made Raine smother a giggle.
She went to the other woman and asked gently, “Are you ill, Constance?” The older woman looked wretched.
“No, dear. Not physically at least.”
Raine raised her eyebrows.
“All those people on that ship.” Constance gestured with her arm. “To think of my people enduring such terrible things that they had to flee their own country. . .”
“Perhaps God has sent you to America for a purpose, Constance.”
Constance looked startled. “I guess I’d never thought of that, Raine. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. . .but I’ve got it so much better than most, don’t I?”
“I found a verse in Isaiah just before we began this voyage. It says, ‘I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.’ I’ve gained much strength from that promise.” She patted Constance’s hand. “I know He’ll guide you too if you ask Him.”
Constance blew her nose, reminding Raine of an elephant she had once seen at the circus. “I feel so much better, dear. You’ve helped me immeasurably.”
Raine shook her head. “Not me, Constance. God.”
The two women watched as the inspectors glanced at the ship’s manifest. The uniformed men looked hassled, weariness etched on their brows. Handing the manifest back to Ben, they turned their attention to the medical reports.
Raine had easily passed the physical exam all passengers were required to take before they departed for America, but she still felt her heart beat a little faster as the men scrutinized the reports. She knew she didn’t have anything to worry about; she had always been “healthy as a hog,” as Papa would say.
“All right, line up over by the wall, please.” The inspector’s American accent sounded harsh, though his voice was pleasant.
Raine felt Constance stiffen as men made their way down the short line. The examination was mostly cursory for first-class passengers, since it was assumed none of them would be carrying disease.
She recalled Ben telling her of entire shiploads of people quarantined because of cholera, yellow fever, or typhoid. Victims of diphtheria or measles were often sent to the hospital on Ward’s Island. She shivered. What a wretched welcome to America that would be.
“Open your mouth, please.”
Raine obeyed and the man took a quick peek in her eyes as well, looking for the dreaded trachoma, she knew. He moved on to Constance. Raine watched the tail feathers on Constance’s hat begin to dance. The poor woman looked like she would swoon any moment.
All went fine until the man heard the rattling in her chest. He raised his eyebrows. “Are you ill, Madam?”
Constance glared at him. “No.”
He frowned. “Stay there. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Raine’s heart sank as she watched him stride over to confer with the other inspector. “What’s wrong, Constance?” she whispered.
“It’s nothing, dear.” Constance took a long breath, as though she were forcing herself to appear calm. “My chest tightens up and I get short of breath when I get nervous. Always goes away in a few minutes.”
Raine knew what the man would say the instant he turned around.
“We’ll have to take you to Ellis for a more thorough examination, Madam.” He looked almost apologetic.
Raine closed her eyes, waiting to hear an explosion of tears. None came.
“Raine, will you come with me while I gather my things?” Constance’s voice was calm.
Raine peered into the other woman’s reddened eyes. Perhaps this was just the calm before the storm. Together they plodded down the stairs to Constance’s cabin. Raine wracked her brain, trying to think of something to say.
“Well. I guess I will be going down some unfamiliar paths, just like that Scripture said, won’t I?”
“I’m so sorry, Constance.”
The older woman snorted. “Don’t be. You know, as I was standing there waiting for them to make their decision, I started thinking on what you said about God sending me here for a purpose. All of a sudden I pictured all those poor people crowded on those boats headed for the Island.” She cocked her head. “Maybe God wants me to be with my kin, so to speak.”
Raine was speechless.
“They think I’ve got tuberculosis, you know.”
Raine nodded.
“But I don’t.”
Raine nodded again, for lack of anything better to do.
“So. I’ll just go to that Island and find out what God has for me. You know, I’ve been so miserable the past year, that I forgot all about Jesus. I guess He just needed to get my attention again. And He used you to help me get back on track.”
Would wonders never cease. “I’m glad you feel that way about it,” Raine finally managed. “You will write to me and let me know what happens?”
“You can bank on it, Reverend Thomas. That was quite a sermon you preached to me. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart.”
Reverend? She only had a second to ponder that one before she was nearly smothered in a giant bear hug. When she could breathe again, she was surprised to find her cheeks damp with tears.
The last she saw of her friend was a large bustle and an even larger smile disappearing into a swarm of haggard immigrants. “God go with you,” Raine whispered.
As they disembarked from the ship, her heart lifted as she thought about her heavenly Father. His heart so loving that He even knew when a sparrow fell. Without a doubt, His eye was on Constance Rabinowicz.
❧
Raine was charmed by the thick accents and the hustle and bustle of the city, as Ben escorted her to the famous Buck-ingham Hotel on Fifth Avenue where she would stay the night, as her uncle had directed. Once inside, she gazed around in awe. The shining marble floor of the lobby re-flected the multi-colored hues from the huge stained glass windows. Eight stories above her head, sunlight streamed through an enormous skylight. She had stepped into another world. Porters dashed in and out with baggage, lending a mood of excitement. Even the air seemed charged. She smiled. Maybe it was just being here, in America. It was, after all, the Land of Opportunity.
Her suite was beautiful. A fire crackled cheerily in the open fireplace, welcoming her into the bedchamber. She took a peek into the parlor, s
urprised to see another small room as well. A separate toilet room! Uncle John surely had spared no expense when he reserved this suite for her.
“I’ve got to get back to my crew, Raine,” Ben said. “Shall we meet for supper at oh, six o’clock?”
“Six o’clock?” she moaned. “I think I’ll starve by then!”
He chuckled. “I never knew a lady who had your appetite before. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Once he was gone, she pushed back the red damask drapes to watch his retreating figure from the vantage of her fifth-floor window. He was even handsome from the back.
She continued to stand at the window long after he had disappeared, smiling, fascinated by the endless activity on the street below her.
Her smile froze as she noticed a man staring up at the hotel, his eyes fixed on her face. Something about him seemed familiar. . . Slipping behind the heavy drapery, she peered out again, but the man had disappeared from view.
Surely he was merely admiring the hotel, she thought. Why would someone in New York be interested in me? Feeling slightly uncomfortable, she turned to unpack her small bag. She was suddenly glad that she would be leaving for Boston in a couple of days.
❧
Ben knocked on her door promptly at six o’clock.
Opening the door, Raine was taken aback as Ben presented her with a single yellow rose. “For you, milady,” he said, bowing gallantly.
“Why, thank you, kind sir.” Willing her heart to stop racing, she smiled up at him. “Shall we dine?”
“Indeed we shall.” Ben escorted her to the hotel’s dining room as if she were the queen of England. He seated her with a flourish. “Will you have the catfish or the pot roast? Or perhaps both? I know the sort of appetite you have.”
She thumped him on the arm in mock indignation. In the end, she decided on the baked ham. It was cooked to perfection, but Raine found that despite her hunger, she was having a hard time keeping her attention on her supper. Ben’s blue eyes were glowing with laughter, and his sun-lightened hair was set off by the dark suit he wore. She looked deep into his eyes as he smiled at her, suddenly eager to know everything about him. “Tell me about your childhood, Ben.”
Instantly, the laughter slid from his eyes, replaced by an unreadable expression. “There’s not much to tell, Raine,” he said slowly.
“If you’d rather not. . .” she began, dismayed by his sudden change in mood.
“No,” he said, pushing his pie around on his plate. “I want to tell you. I just. . .it’s just hard to talk about, and I don’t think you’ll understand.” Rising abruptly, he threw a tip on the table and offered Raine his arm. “Let’s take a walk.”
I must have ripped the bandage off of a festering wound, she realized as she glanced sideways at his expression. At least he’s willing to talk about it. She breathed a quiet prayer for wisdom as they walked outside.
Ben led her to a small courtyard garden. Seating her on a bench, he paced back and forth in front of her. Finally sitting down, he ran his fingers through his hair, as though he were reluctant to begin his story.
“Ben.” She placed a soothing hand on his cheek. “You can tell me.”
Taking her hand, he held it tightly. “I’m an only child, and my parents were very strict with me. We went to church whenever the doors were open, and I was required to do quite a bit of Bible study and memorization, but. . .” He turned his face away from Raine, as though he didn’t want her to see the pain etched there, but she could hear it in his voice as he continued. “There was no joy in our home. My parents were the most miserable people on earth, and they wanted me to be that way, too. They always quoted the Scripture ‘to whom much is given, much is required.’ ” He shook his head. “The way they interpreted it was that if a person was happy, or well off financially, then that person must not really be in God’s will, because if you’re doing God’s will, Satan will be attacking you all of the time.”
No longer able to keep the bitterness from his voice, he turned to Raine. “I wasn’t allowed to be happy, Raine. If I so much as laughed out loud, they accused me of being influenced by the devil and in need of discipline. They felt that if I wasn’t being buffeted by Satan, then they needed to do the buffeting—and they used a willow switch to do it. I suppose they did it because they loved me. They were trying to push me into God’s Kingdom after all.”
Raine had never heard anything so sad in her life, nor such a mangling of Scripture. Even though her own father had been short-tempered and frequently absent, he had never twisted God’s love into the harsh condemnation Ben’s parents had apparently believed in.
“That’s not the worst part of it, I’m afraid.” Ben bowed his head. “I learned to put on an act, to pretend to be what my parents wanted me to be. When I grew older, my father made me go to seminary. I even graduated.” Looking up at her, he let the tears fall unheeded. “But I’m a hypocrite, Raine. I feel nothing for God but bitterness and resentment—and yet I have a piece of paper that says I am a minister of the gospel.” He turned away from her, struggling to control his weeping.
Raine pulled his head down, holding him as she would a hurting child.
“I left for Boston the day of graduation,” he said in a hollow voice. “An acquaintance of my father’s got me started in the shipping business. I worked my way up until eventually I owned my own line of ships. Whenever I get restless, I sail as the Capernaum’s captain. I haven’t seen my parents since the day I graduated from the seminary.”
Pushing him away gently so she could see his face, Raine spoke with compassion. “Serving God doesn’t have to be a drudgery, Ben. God is our Father. He loves us and wants us to have joy and peace.”
“I know that in my mind, Raine, but I’m afraid,” Ben whispered in despair. “I’m afraid that if I surrender to Him, He’ll make me be like my father, or He’ll ask me to do something that I just can’t do.”
“Total surrender is the only thing that will bring you the peace that you need, Ben,” she stated quietly. “God will always give you the strength to do what He asks you to do.”
He shook his head sadly. “I can’t do it, Raine. I guess I’m a coward, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.” Seeing her stricken look, he put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have burdened you with this.”
She held his gaze steadily. “It will make sense to you one day, Ben Thackeray,” she said, ignoring his apology. “One day, you will truly know peace.”
❧
That night, she stayed on her knees for long hours before sleep finally claimed her. I love him, Father, she had cried, admitting out loud what her heart had known for weeks. I want him to know You, to know Your peace. Please lead him to Christ, Father. Use me to minister Your love and joy to him. . . And please, Lord, bless Constance.
Waking the next morning, her first thought was of a pair of sea-blue eyes and a warm smile. She stretched luxuriously, letting the newness of the day soak into her soul. Arising at last, she brushed out her dark hair until it shone. She reflected on the previous evening as she braided her hair into an intricate crown. I hope Ben doesn’t feel embarrassed over last night, she thought, anxious to see him.
She dabbed on a bit of her favorite lilac perfume and adjusted the locket around her neck, then glanced in the mirror one last time. Glowing green eyes looked back at her, and she was sure Ben would be able to see her heart in her eyes. She smiled. It was wonderful to be in love, but she knew she must not run ahead of God’s will for her. He was the one leading her along these new paths, and she reminded herself to wait on His direction.
She and Ben had decided to meet in the ladies’ parlor, then go to the breakfast room together. Scanning the room eagerly, she was disappointed that Ben had not yet arrived. She sat down to wait, enjoying the way the morning sunshine filled the airy room. An ornate chandelier hung from the ceiling, and large ferns graced the perimeter of the room. Fresh flowers spilled down over pedestals, their bright frag
rance permeating the air. The carpet as well as the walls were done tastefully in white, French gray, and gold. Here and there an early-rising guest sat reading a newspaper or leisurely working on some fancy needlework.
Raine’s stomach growled loudly, and she frowned at the huge grandfather clock. It wasn’t like Ben to be late. Shrugging, she decided a trip to the necessary room was in order. Maybe by the time she came out he would be there.
A small commotion near the door attracted her attention as she rose from her chair. She glanced in that direction, feeling something akin to panic wash over her as she caught a glimpse of the man walking in behind the porter. It was the man she had seen yesterday.
Nature’s call forgotten, she made a beeline for the breakfast room. Daring a quick glance back, she was startled to see the blond-haired man sauntering toward her. His scarred face seared itself into her memory. Something about it seemed familiar. . .
“Good morning, Beautiful.” She whirled.
“Ben!”
“What’s wrong, Raine? Do I look that bad in the morning?” he teased.
She glanced over her shoulder. The man was nowhere to be seen. “You look just fine,” she said weakly as relief flooded through her. “Let’s eat breakfast.”
The day went smoothly as they prepared for the trip to Boston. Except for the dark circles under Ben’s eyes, no mention of the previous night was made. Having realized her love for him, however, Raine found it hard not to let it show. She knew in her heart that she could never marry a man who did not love her Lord, yet she was sure that God had brought Ben into her life for a special purpose.
