by Jenna Grey
Of all the things she could have said, this was the worst. Polly sank to the floor, her legs unable to take her weight any longer. Hel sat down on Finn’s bed; Polly knew it was an affectation, a ruse to try and put Polly more at her ease, one friend speaking with another. Polly had never really felt true hate until now.
“Polly, you know that if I could make it otherwise, I would,” Hel said, the faux sincerity making Polly want to gag. “I care for you, and it breaks my heart that your wretched uncle chose you for the sacrifice, but the promise has been made to the gods, nobody else can do this. I would give anything for it to be otherwise. But I cannot bear this existence any longer, and you are my only chance of escape.”
“Well, boo bloody hoo,” Polly spat back. “So I have to give up my life so you can be happy? And if I don’t, I have to live with the guilt that I’ve left Liam rotting in hell for all eternity?”
Hel leant back a little, relaxed, totally at peace with herself and letting Polly know in no uncertain terms that she was in total control of the situation.
“Perhaps if I showed him to you, it might change your mind. He’s suffering so dreadfully; it breaks my heart to see it.”
“Fuck you,” Polly snarled.
Hel laughed. Polly felt a terrible wave of nausea sweep over her. She blinked, her vision blurring, and for an instant, she thought she was going to pass out. She pulled herself to her feet, staggering a little, ready to defend herself against... she had no idea what. She was still staring at Liam and Finn’s bedroom, at Liam’s bed, but a darkness had come over the room, a closing in that seemed to blunt all of her senses. She felt disoriented, a feeling of unreality shrouding the room, a strange sense of things not being quite right. She focused, with difficulty, on the form huddled on the bed. It was a figure she recognised only too well. Liam was in a foetal position, curled into a tight ball and pressed as far into the corner as he could go; he clutched a pillow to his chest, a small child trying to get comfort in any way he could, trying to hide from the monster under the bed. He was sobbing, trembling, and when Polly looked across the room, she could see why. Finn’s half of the bedroom was gone, and in its place was nothingness, just a vast black emptiness – a vacuum of darkness so intense that it made her eyes ache. This was Liam’s nightmare.
Hel stood against the darkness as if she had no fear of it at all.
“This is Liam’s private Hell, Polly. Loneliness. His entire life was spent as an outcast, always on the outside looking in. He is in such torment. Can you really bear to see him like this when you could give him everything he ever wanted and bring him out into the light?”
Polly wanted to go to him and comfort him, but as she stretched her hand out, she realised that what was before her wasn’t any reality she could reach. Was it reality, though, or just some illusion that Hel had created to deceive her?
“This, if it is real, isn’t the issue. You were put where you are for a reason, Hel. You are there because that is where the Powers That Be want you to be. Even if I wanted to change places with you, I couldn’t do it, because I will not go against the will of the higher powers. Everything in the universe is where it is for a reason, and you are there for a reason. I can’t pay for your sins.”
Polly felt a shiver of power roil out from Hel, making the air around her tremble. Polly had hit home with that one.
“Pay for my sins?” Hel asked, her voice like deep winter frost. “Do you know what my sin was? It was to fall in love. That is the only crime I’m guilty of, and for that, I am cursed to live in eternal darkness.”
Polly was disarmed. That she hadn’t expected.
“You would never be punished for that. You’re lying.”
Hel gave a bitter laugh.
“Oh wise one, you know all of the dealings of the gods then, do you? I can assure you it is no lie. Baldur the fair is the cause of my ruin. I loved him from the beginning, from the moment I first set my eyes on him, but he had no thoughts for me. I knew our love could only ever be a doomed love. When he died and came down to my realm, I thought that at last, I would have a chance to let him see there was more to me than the horror of my face. The gods petitioned me to release him, but it was too late by then, I couldn’t let him go, I couldn’t—”
“I know the story,” Polly snapped, “but from all accounts, it was your father Loki who killed Baldur and Loki who helped you keep Baldur trapped there. You’re acting as if you’re the innocent party in all this, but you and your father conspired to trap Baldur in Helheim, not caring how much it hurt him, or anyone else. That’s not love.”
“My father knew how much I loved Baldur! He killed him so that we could be together!”
“Oh, well that makes it all right then, doesn’t it? As long as it was what you wanted.”
Polly suddenly realised that she was winning this battle – the tide had turned, and she was now in charge of this conversation. She felt a surge of energy flood through her, a kind of fierce pleasure at getting this incredibly powerful being to bend to her will.
“And once you had him there you used every trick to keep him,” Polly said.” You and your father deserve one another.”
Hel flew at Polly, and for one awful moment, she thought the creature was going to strike her dead, but then Polly realised that no matter how angry Hel got, she was quite safe. Polly’s death meant that Hel would be trapped in her domain forever. Hel quietened, her taut shoulders relaxing, the power diminishing.
“Well, Odin punished me well enough for it – he took Baldur from me, and he left me in that place to rot for all eternity. Why should you be here with your love, when I cannot be with mine?”
Polly laughed.
“That’s what it all boils down to, isn’t it? You’re jealous of me for having what you can never have.”
“That’s not true,” Hel said, petulant now, a spoilt child that couldn’t get her own way. “I only want a chance at happiness. I have as much right to it as you do!”
Polly shook her head.
“Liam would never want me to do that for him. I know if I asked him he’d tell me not to do it. He knew what he was doing, and he would never, ever want me to let you out. Go back to Hell where you belong – there’s no place for you in this world!”
Hel’s face tightened into something terrifying to behold.
“I gave you a chance and now whatever happens you must accept the consequences,” she said. “I’ve already told you that I’ve opened up the way for creatures far worse than the dead to come through to this world. You’ll find out soon enough that they’re far, far worse than you could ever have imagined. I wish you well in defeating them.” Hel raised her good hand, and Polly watched, horrified, as the red and black snake slid down from Hel’s sleeve and dropped onto the bed, just a couple of feet from Polly.
“You can throw what you like at us ‒ we’ll never give in to you,” Polly said, resisting the urge to step back from the slithering creature. Hel laughed and held out her hand, coaxing the snake back to her. Polly let out her breath as it moved back to its mistress and wrapped itself around her wrist.
They stood, confronting one another for a few more moments, and then Hel was gone. Polly was left standing alone in the empty room, not knowing what to do, or how she could possibly tell Bert and Finn the terrible news.
CHAPTER FOUR
Polly heard the door downstairs open and close, and Finn called up to her. She knew she should have gone down, but she couldn’t face him, not just yet. She was still lying on Liam’s bed, huddled in almost the same position Liam had been in, his notebook clutched in her hand, still open at the page that told her the awful truth. She must have fallen asleep, so exhausted that even the fear and misery couldn’t keep her conscious. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and she wished them away, but the creak of the floorboards on the landing told her that it was Finn and not Bert. The door opened, and Finn poked his head in.
“The shop looks great, I didn’t recognise it when I walked i
n,” he said, then seeing her face he stopped in his tracks, bewildered and very concerned.
“Dear God, what’s happened?” he asked, sitting down beside her on the bed, and stretching out his hand to cover hers.
She pulled herself up a little and closed the notebook, slipping it under her legs.
“I had a visitor while you were out.” Finn just frowned his puzzlement. “Hel,” Polly continued. “She came here, not in the flesh, it was a projection, but she was real enough.”
“Shit! I knew we shouldn’t have left you alone. Are you okay, she didn’t hurt you, did she? What did she want?”
Obvious questions, with obvious answers.
“She wants me to free her, to go through with my uncle’s plan and change places with her.”
Finn laughed.
“Yeah, because you’re really going to do that, aren’t you? I’m sure you told her what she could do––”
“She’s holding Liam hostage,” Polly said, cutting him dead.
Finn just gave her blank face, while he processed the information.
“You mean...?”
“She touched him, Finn, and we should have realised that’s what it meant. Anyone she touches goes to her domain. He’s in agony, suffering terrible tortures in Hell, she showed me. We have to get him out of there.”
Finn slumped back on the bed and groaned.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. That bitch. I’m going to—”
“You’re going to use the Hellstone to get him out,” Polly said, and her voice brooked no argument.
Finn turned and stared at her, saying nothing for a moment, sitting up to face her.
“You know we can’t do that, Polly. We can’t use that stone, not even to get Liam out of there. You know how dangerous it is, what it can do. We have no idea what we’d be unleashing if you used it. It’s caused too much misery already. We’ll find some other way to get Liam out of there.”
“We know how to use it, and we know it works,” Polly insisted. “You didn’t see him, Finn, he’s in terrible torment, and we can’t leave him there another second. We know that Sigurd Thorgeirsson used it to bring his son, Bragi back. We know that Bragi used it to bring Sigurd back. It worked, and you know it did. If it worked for them, it can work for us.”
“Sigurd and Bragi had bodies – they had something to come back to,” Finn said.
Polly hadn’t thought of that. If they did bring Liam back, it would be back into Finn’s body, back the way it was, with them sharing one body. Did she think she could live with that? Of course, she could if the alternative was leaving Liam in that place.
“You do want him back, don’t you?” Polly asked.
Finn flushed scarlet, and Polly knew that just for an instant Finn hadn’t been too sure.
“Of course I do – you don’t really think I’d leave him there, do you? I’d have him back like a shot. You have no idea how empty I feel. It’s as if I’ve had an arm or a leg chopped off, worse. He’s been part of me my whole life. I’d do anything to get him back. Look, we’ll see what Dad says. If he says we can use the stone, then we’ll use it.”
Polly gave a terse nod.
“Okay, I’ll go with whatever Bert says. If he says no, then I won’t press it any more. I promise.”
She moved forwards and slipped into Finn’s arms, carefully pushing the notebook under the pillow. That was a secret to be told another time.
Bert said nothing for what seemed like hours, wandering around the kitchen aimlessly, tinkering and fidgeting while he thought it over.
“As much as it pains me to say it. I think we need to look into this a bit more before we do anything. We don’t know enough about what’s going on to take such terrible risks, not even for Liam. There is too much at stake. To begin with, we have no idea if Hel is telling the truth about Liam. She can create illusions, and what she showed you might not be the truth. Her father, Loki, is the master of illusions and it would be nothing for that creature to conjure anything she wanted us to see. We don’t even know for certain that Liam did go to Hell. We also have to consider this. Why did Hel come to you at all, Polly? She knew full well that you would never even think of swapping places with her, so why suggest it? Just to torment you? I don’t think so. She knew that by showing you Liam, letting you see how he was suffering, you’d do exactly what she wanted us to do – use the Hellstone to get him out. That’s why we daren’t risk it, not until we are certain that we’re working with the full facts.”
Polly stared at Bert, the terrible realisation hitting her like a fist. She had been so sure that using the Hellstone was the correct thing to do, she hadn’t even stopped to consider the dangers.
“Oh, God, you’re right. Of course, that would be our first instinctive reaction. She’d know that. We’d be doing exactly what she wanted us to do,” Finn said.
“I fear you’re right,” Bert said. “Even if we’re wrong, we can’t risk it...”
“Then there’s no way out for Liam?” Finn asked.
Bert made a grumbling noise under his breath and waved a hand at Finn.
“Of course there is. There are always other ways. But one thing is certain; the Hellstone stays exactly where it is, protected by powerful magic and well out of that bitch’s reach.”
Polly took another sip of her tea and realised that Bert had put a little something extra in it, brandy, she thought; she was already feeling the effects of it. By the time she finished the cup she’d be well on her way to being rat-arsed drunk, but she really didn’t care.
“When I asked Dalbert Winchard what my uncle’s plans were,” she said, “he told me that they were going to bring an army out of Hell to take over the world. Hel told me that she’d already opened the way up for them. You don’t really think that the dead, or demons could escape, do you? Is there any way they could get out of Helheim?”
Bert hesitated for a moment, pensive, then he walked across to the old bookcase that filled most of one wall of the impossibly cluttered room, fighting his way over and around obstacles. He rummaged through the shelves for a few moments, searching, and then pulled out a book. It looked old and well-used, almost falling apart as he opened it, laying it on Polly’s lap and flipping through the pages. He stopped at a page and Polly glanced down at it; it was written in some ancient language she didn’t recognise.
“This book is an old Norwegian account of Helheim and its geography. It says here that once a soul enters Helheim, it can never leave – that not even the gods can leave without help.”
Polly studied the illustration that accompanied the text. It showed a dark city in ruins, and there, seated on a throne, a depiction of the goddess Hel, that was nothing like the reality. When Polly had first seen her, half hidden in shadows, she had felt the real terror of that being, and this pathetic attempt to capture her likeness was risible.
“But we know that’s not true. Hel said that she could leave if someone took her place there. That was the whole point of sacrificing me,” Polly protested.
“She’s right, Dad. We have to believe that Winchard told Polly the truth. We have two stones in our possession that can send people to Hell and bring them out again,” he said. “You don’t think that they’re the only ones in existence do you, that there aren’t other ways to come and go from that place? If Hel says that she’s opened the way for the dead and demons to leave Helheim, then we need to prepare ourselves.”
Bert gave a long sigh, his expression darkening.
“You’re right, of course. But, there are protections to keep souls trapped in Helheim. According to the legends, the entrance to Helheim is guarded by Garm, a monstrous hound, and Modgud, the giantess – a soul would need to get past them to escape.”
“But that’s just myth. I’m sure they don’t really exist,” Polly said. Bert gave her a wry smile.
“Hel exists,” he said, “Why shouldn’t they?” And Polly had no choice but to concede defeat.
Polly was falling asleep on Finn’s shoulder, and h
e gave her a little poke in the ribs.
“I think it’s time for bed, sleepy head. We’ve all had a hell of a day.”
“It’s only 8.30,” Polly said, laughing, “And I slept all afternoon.”
“So?” Finn asked with a grin. Polly rolled her eyes, but couldn’t keep the smile from her lips.
“Why don’t you two take my bed – you can’t squeeze into that silly little single bed. You need - well, you know what you need. I’ve changed the sheets – just go and make things better.”
Finn chuckled.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Polly blushed and smiled.
“Thanks, Dad,” she repeated and kissed him on the cheek as she passed him on her way to the stairs.
Polly hadn’t been into Bert’s bedroom before, and it was exactly as she’d expected it to be, full of clutter and bits and pieces from his past. It was nice, though, it made her feel safe, as if he’d always been here and always would be here, a solid support for her and Finn. And there was something about him that made her feel safe, a certainty that when he was around that everything would be all right.
“Your dad is awesome,” Polly said.
“Yeah, pretty special. He’s had a hell of a lot to put up with. Liam, well, he never made it easy for―”
“Either of you,” Polly finished. “If we could get him back, and it meant you taking him in again, are you sure you’d be okay with that?”
“Of course, I feel lost without him. I can’t explain it to you, but just imagine that you could only see out of one eye, hear out of one ear, that your heart was only beating at half its normal rate. That’s exactly how I feel, and it’s terrible.”
Polly slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, pressing her lips to his.
“I do understand, I really do. But at least I know that when I make love to you, I’m not going to suddenly find it’s Liam. That really did freak me out.”
