by Karen Woods
Emily was pissing in the wind and just sat listening to him waffle. The lies just rolled from his tongue. One after the other, he just couldn’t help himself. The front door slammed shut and Tony gasped. He kept his voice low. He was trembling, his hands were shaking. He dragged his daughter back by her arm. “Emily you stay in here with me. She won’t be as bad if you’re here. Tell her that I’m taking us all on holiday too, that should help her calm down.”
She wriggled free from his grip and smirked over at him. “No way, Dad. You’re on your own. I’m going to Jane’s. This is your mess, so you can sort it out. Our Jordan should be here soon, so he can protect you. I’m getting off. It’s your own fault for pissing the shopping money up the wall. Deal with it.” Emily smiled over at him and walked to the door. “Good luck, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when she gets hold of you. She’s livid. I’m off out.”
Tony sat cracking his fingers. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He never even said goodbye to Emily. It was like waiting on death row, his arse was twitching for sure. Frank came rushing into the room first. His tail was wagging at speed and he headed straight over to Tony. He quickly reached over for him. “Come here boy. Where have you been? Have you been out for a walk?” Frank was panting, and slaver was hanging from the side of his mouth. He shook his head and the warm wet clear liquid from his mouth went flying all over the sofa. “Fucking hell, Frank. Look at me now, you scruffy twat. Why do you always do that?” He pushed the animal away with a firm hand. “Go on, do one now. Go and lie down. You scruffy fucker.” Frank had his marching orders and knew by his owner’s tone of voice that he’d done something wrong. Tony was wiping his jeans when he felt the air change. A cold, eerie silence filled the room. Lifting his eyes slowly he could see her feet not far from him. He cringed and knew he’d have to face the music. His head lifted with caution. “Hello baby. I wondered where you were.” He gulped and waited for a reply.
Elsie was ready for him, she was fuming. He was getting told without a shadow of doubt. She’d waited all morning for this, he was getting a mouthful. “Don’t you fucking ‘baby’ me, you wanker. Get into that bedroom, get every stitch of clothing that you own and get out of this house. I told you last time that it was your last chance and you didn’t listen. Are you thick or something? Is there something missing in that daft brain of yours?”
Tony held his hands up in the air. “For fuck’s sake, love. Don’t be bin-bagging me over this. I’ve done nothing wrong. Fuck me! Shoot me for having a few beers with some old pals. Johnny got out of the big-house after a four stretch and we just ended up getting on it. Nothing was planned, honest. I just got caught up in the moment.”
“Fuck off out of my face. Every bastard time it’s always another lie. Just tell the truth for once in your fucking worthless life. I might have a bit of respect for you then.”
Tony knew he needed to pull something special out of the bag to get out of this one. He’d have to put an Oscar winning performance to wriggle out of this one. “Babe, may God strike me down right now if I’m lying. I’ll get Mickey here to tell you himself, if you don’t believe me. You know me, I’m as honest as the day is long.” Elsie walked over to him and booted his foot. There was only so much bullshit anyone could listen to in one day.
“So, if it was a party then, you won’t have spent the money you had. I mean, what party makes you pay for your beer?”
Tony’s nose started to twitch, he rubbed his flat palm over it and licked his dry cracked lips rapidly. He had to think on his feet and stood up protesting his innocence. “Babes, I’ve got the money. I told Mickey to mind it, so I didn’t spend it. That’s where I’m going now. On my life. I’ll have the hundred quid to you within the hour. Just let me get sorted and I’ll burn around there and get it. I can’t believe you think I’m lying. What do you take me for? Bang out of order you are.”
Tony made to get up and grab his coat, but Elsie pushed him back down with force. She gripped him by the scruff of his neck and went nose to nose with him, her warm stale breath spraying into his face. “I don’t believe a word you say. Get in there and pack your shit up. I told you I meant it last time, and you still think you can have me over! Did you really think you could just walk back in here and everything would be alright?”
Tony upped the ante. He knew she wasn’t joking, “Baby just give me an hour or so and I’ll show you I’m telling the truth. I know I’ve told you a few white lies in the past but not this time love. Honest, I’m telling you the truth. Just let me prove it to you.”
Elsie growled and showed her crooked yellow teeth. “You left me with fuck all for days. We could have been dead for all you cared. We had no bread, no gas and the electric meter has two-pound fifty left on it. I’ve had one packet of pickled onion “Space Raiders” to last me since seven o’clock last night. You’re a cheeky cunt and you know it! Don’t try and smooth this over because I’m not listening. I’m throwing the towel in. Me and you are over.”
Tony moved her hand from his neck and looked directly in her eyes. He always pulled this move when the shit hit the fan. “I love you more than anything. I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I admit, I should have come home with the money, but you know what I’m like when I get a few beers down my neck. I was telling all the boys how much I love you. Honest, I was singing your praises all night long. Telling them what a mint wife you are; understanding, caring.”
Elsie backed off and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Go and tell someone who gives a fuck because I’m not listening to a word that comes out of your mouth. Bullshit. Every single last word you speak is bullshit.” She twisted back around to face him. He wasn’t getting off that easily. “I’ll burn everything you own if you don’t get it out of here before the day is out. I swear, I’ll torch everything. You won’t have a stitch of clothing left.”
Tony was in a panic. He shoved his trainers on with speed. “You’ll see baby. I’ll be back in an hour with your money. I swear, you just wait and see. Tony Clayton is a man of his word.” He grabbed his coat from the side and quickly put it on. He wanted out of this place before she started launching things at him. He watched her from the corner of his eye as he slithered out of the doorway. “I’ll be back soon. And, I’m taking us all on holiday. Ask our Emily. Cross my heart and hope to die, we’re going on holiday.”
Elsie covered her ears with her hands. Did this man ever stop lying? “I wouldn’t go to the toilet with you Tony Clayton. Now, fuck off out of here before I lose my rag and do something I might regret.” She ran towards him and screamed at the top of her voice. “I’ll burn everything! Mark my words, if your stuff is still here at the end of today then the lot is getting torched. And, you know I will, just you put me to the test.”
The front door slammed shut and Tony was on his toes. Elsie sprinted to the balcony. She wasn’t finished with him yet. She was having the final word. She yanked the door open and hung her head over the balcony, eyes flicking one way then another. There he was, she could see him. Quickly, she picked up an old tin of paint from the corner of the balcony and hurled it at him. She was screaming at the top of her voice. “You’re a cheeky cunt Tony and everyone will know about you because I’ll make sure I fucking well tell them. A waste of space you are. She sucked in a large mouthful of fresh crisp air and lowered her voice, deflated she was. “Just leave me alone to get on with my life. I’m better off without you.”
Tony dodged the paint tin spinning towards him. He held his hands in the air and shouted up to his wife. “You’re a crazy bitch. I’ll be back with the money later. Get back inside instead of making a show of yourself. Bleeding hell, there’s no need for this.” Elsie stormed back into the flat and nearly fell over the dog. She booted him in his stomach and snapped. “And, you can fucking go with him too. I can’t afford to feed myself, never mind a flea-bitten mutt.” The poor animal cowered and crept under the table. It wasn’t the first time she’d hit this animal. Frank was used to it. Poor animal.
*
Tony jogged down the road. He was always looking behind him dodging the traffic. He was aware that his mad wife could be behind him with a weapon in her hand ready to do him in. He was sweating and out of breath. His skin was grey, and his eyes seemed to change. He was rattling for drugs, it was obvious. He had no pills left on him to calm himself down either, he was shaking like a shitting dog. Tony’s hands gripped his stomach as he winced in pain. He sprinted towards a door close by and hammered on the letterbox frantically. “Mickey, it’s me Tony, open up mate. Hurry up. I’m going to shit my pants.” Tony kept flicking the letterbox, booting at the bottom of the door. He was desperate. A face appeared at the top window. Tony stood back and cupped his hands around his mouth shouting. “Fucking hell, hurry up and open the door. I’m touching cloth here. Open the door before I fill my duds.” Tony was walking around in a circle, face stressed, sweating, arse cheeks clenched together tightly. As soon as the front door opened, he barged passed the man stood there and headed straight to the toilet. “Fucking hell. I hope you’ve got some bog-roll in here. I’m going to burst. On my life, I’ve got seconds left before I explode.”
Mickey sniggered and walked passed the toilet shaking his head. He could see Tony perched on the toilet and chuckled. “Close the door you smelly bastard. Ewww… the smell is knocking me sick. You need your arse raking out you do.”
Tony kicked the bottom of the door shut with his foot and shouted back to him. “Start getting ready. I’ve got to earn and fast. It’s a code red. Elsie is gunning for me and if I don’t cough up what I owe her she’ll be flinging me out. The bitch is mental. Honest, she was going sick at me.”
Mickey went into the living room and sprawled across the sofa. There was no rush in his eyes, he was still knackered. This place stank like arse. Tony was still pulling his strides up as he walked into the living room. Relief filled his face. “Another few seconds Mickey and I would have shed mud. On my life, I very nearly shit my pants.”
“Hanging you are mate. What are you doing up so early anyway? I thought after the session we had; I wouldn’t have seen you for a few days at least.”
Tony sighed. “You’re fucking joking pal. I’ve had about an hour’s kip. The Mrs is going sick. I spent the shopping money, didn’t I? Come on, get ready. I need to earn some money and fast.” Mickey was falling asleep, his eyes closing slowly. Tony grabbed his big toe and yanked at it. “Come on. Stop messing around. I’m roasting my tits off. I need to score. Hook a brother up ay?”
Mickey was an addict too. His arms were bruised and full of track marks. Deep purple and blue veins bulged through his transparent flesh. Mickey rolled onto his side. “For fuck’s sake. Let me open my eyes then. Stop stressing me out. I’ve had no sleep either you know?” Tony sat down and licked his lips. Reality was hitting home. “Mate, she’s going mental. I’ve never seen her this bad before. Honest, I’ve fucked up big-time. I’ve dropped a right bollock. Why did you let me get in that state? You should have sent me home.”
Mickey chuckled and started coughing. “Don’t blame me pal. You’re your own worst enemy. You’ll have to man up and admit you are wrong. I did say to you last night that you needed to go home. But, oh no, you said Elsie could ‘get to fuck’. I bet you wished you’d listened to me now, ay?”
Tony didn’t remember a thing. He scratched his head and sighed. “Anyway, I’ve told Elsie you’ve got the money.” Mickey’s eyes were wide open, and he swallowed hard. “I had to mate, she was going to cut my balls off.”
Mickey sat up straight. He was in shock. There was no way he wanted that mental cow hammering his front door down. He wanted his name kept out of it. “What the fuck have you said that for? If she comes here, I’m telling her the truth. Nar, fuck that, you’re well out of order mate. Why would you do that when you know what she’s like?”
“Oh, shut up you mard arse. She won’t come here. And, if you move your arse, we can get the money sorted before end of play today. We can go to Asda. I’ve clocked some Smart TVs near the doorway. We can just run in and grab one. There’s a quick two ton for us if we use our noggins, so move it. The early bird catches the worm and all that, remember?”
Mickey was a funny looking bloke and very ugly. He had shoulder length black hair and a massive conk on him. His facial hair seemed to be bald in parts and his teeth were rotten, like a row of Sugar Puffs. Mickey rubbed at his cold pale flesh. “I’ll shove some clothes on. Ring Dean and see if we can tick some gear until later. He’s sorted, and he knows we’re good for it. I can’t go out grafting when I’m roasting my nuts off can I?”
Tony shook his head. “No way. I owe him twenty quid already. Are you forgetting when we ticked some drugs from him last week? We told him we would pay him later that day and we never went back. He’ll be on the lookout for us. Mark my word he'll be fuming.”
Mickey held his head to the side and tried to engage what was left of his brain. He didn’t know what day of the week it was, the truth be told, and he was as thick as two planks of wood. “So, what the fuck are we going to do then? I can’t think straight when I’m rattling mate.”
Tony stood up scratching at his skin, picking at the scabs from the open wounds on his arms. “Join the fucking club. That’s what I mean. We need to move our arses and get earning.” Mickey left the room and Tony was rummaging in some newspapers that were lying about on a nearby chair. He opened one page and stared at the Page Three girl displayed there; black lacy underwear, perfect body, this was his dream woman. He held the newspaper closer to his eyes and sniggered to himself. “I’d lick them babies all night long given the chance darling.” He tweaked his crotch and closed the newspaper shut. There was no time for filth. He had more important things on his mind now. He had to get some drugs into his system and quick. He couldn’t function without them. Nothing made sense, he couldn’t concentrate properly.
Mickey was dressed as he walked back into the room. Baggy clothes with a baseball cap pulled over his eyes. He rubbed his hands together. “Right, come on then. Let’s go and earn a crust. We can have a butcher’s at them TVs in Asda first. Let’s see how the land lies and see if it’s on top.”
“Yep, time waits for no man” Tony replied and the pair of them hurried out the front door. They were both eager to find the money to fill their veins with drugs. Tony was living on borrowed time and if he didn’t come up with some money fast, he knew he would be out on the streets tonight.
As they marched up Rochdale Road the lads huddled closely together to keep warm. The wind was bitter and cold, and leaves were blowing high in the air, swirling in perfect circles. The grey clouds hung low and it looked like another day of miserable weather. Tony was feeling a bit emotional as they walked along the path and he spoke to Mickey. “Am I a bad person Mickey? Our Emily said I was a shit dad and I never do anything with them. I thought my kids were happy. Granted, I fuck up a few times, but I do my best for them don’t I?”
Mickey rolled his eyes. “Nar, you do more than most dads do round here. At least you’re still with your family. Most kids on the estate don’t even know who their dads are so she should count herself lucky you’re still on the scene. Look at me, I’ve not seen my sprogs for years. I don’t even know where they live anymore.”
Tony straightened his jacket. “She wants me to take them on holiday. No drugs, no beer, no pills. Honest, that’s what she’s asked me for. I must be bad for her to say that, mustn’t I?”
Mickey could see this was affecting his grafting partner. He’d never seen this side of him before. Usually he was the joker, the one cracking all the latest gags. He placed his sweaty arm around his mate’s neck and pulled him closer. “So, take them on holiday. Prove them wrong. You earn a few quid all the time. Just bang it away and save some money up.”
This was a no brainer, Mickey was right. He could earn - how much would it cost for a few weeks away in the sun with his loved ones? “It was just the way she looked at me Mickey. You know, like I’d let her down or
something, she was genuinely upset.”
“Fuck me mate. Sort your head out. Just take them away on holiday and put it to bed. Don’t start all this soppy shit at this time of the morning, my head can’t handle it. I’ve got enough problems of my own without you adding to them.”
Mickey picked up speed when the shopping precinct came into view. Tony was the brains behind this operation, and he stopped them walking and started to clock his surroundings. He tickled the end of his chin as he spoke. “Right, here’s the plan. No fucking about. We need to be straight in and out. The longer we stay in there, the more chance there is of it coming on top. The security guards know our faces and they’ll be all over us like a cheap suit.” Mickey was nervous, he stood fidgeting, itching at his face, scratching at it with force, ripping his skin to shreds causing it to bleed. “Right, come on then, let’s get this done.” Tony edged forward, and his eyes were all over the place. The local market was on today and the public was scattered about the area. This market was a landmark in Harpurhey, and it had been there for as long as he could remember. Tony had even had a Saturday job here when he was a young lad. That was in the good old days - he used to help the market traders unload their vans in the early hours of the morning. Five –thirty start. It was only a few quid but back then it was enough to buy him some luxuries like the “Beano” and “Buster” comics. He loved the characters inside them. Desperate Dan, Dennis the Menace and his dog Gnasher... He’d laugh his head off when he used to read them. Real belly laughs that had him screaming laughing. They really were the good old days. It was a time in his life when everything seemed simple and he didn’t have a care in the world. His father was the one who had the problems, the one who made his life a nightmare every time he walked in through the front door. His dad was a bully, nothing less.
