by Karen Woods
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Elsie sat on the wall facing her parent’s house. Twenty minutes she’d been sat here twiddling her thumbs, just staring over at the house. Maybe, it was a mistake coming here, she thought. Had too much time passed? Her head was all over the place. The traffic was noisy as it travelled down the road.
Elsie was still perched in the same spot; she hadn’t moved a muscle. It was like someone had glued her to the wall. She was motionless. Her neck stretched suddenly, and her eyes opened wide. She pulled her hood over her head and dipped her face down. No, no, she didn’t want him to see her. Her heart was beating like a speeding-train and her cheeks suddenly became bright red. Slowly, she peeped out from her fur hood. It was him; he was older than she remembered but she could see it was her dad. Her voice croaked as she tried to speak. It was like someone had a grip on her windpipe, she was suffocating, feeling light headed. She tried again and this time she could get her words out. “Dad,” she stuttered from the other side of the road. He’d never hear her like this, she needed to raise her voice. As she stood up her legs buckled, she gripped the red brick wall to the side of her to steady herself. She was desperate now. “Dad,” she yelled. The old man across the road shot a look over at her but carried on walking. Did he know it was her, had he just ignored her in the hope that she would leave him alone? Elsie made the decision to chase after him.
It was mid-day and he was probably off to the bookies. He loved a little flutter on the gee-gees and it was part of his daily routine. Her legs were moving faster than they had in a long time. Her breathing was struggled as she got to within a few steps of him. The old man turned his head and snarled at her. His eyes were squeezed tightly together. “What are you gawping at. Don’t ask me for any money. I’m sick to death of you bleeding beggars. Every time I go to the shop you’re asking me for money. I’m a pensioner. You lot should be looking after me not the other way around. Piss off before you feel my foot up your arse.” in
Elsie knew he didn’t recognise her. She bit down hard on her bottom lip and searched her heart for the words she needed. “Dad, it’s me Elsie.” Sydney was frozen to the spot, he stared at her for a few seconds more then carried on walking, Elsie chased after him. He shook his head and sighed. “Dad, can we talk? I’ve sorted myself out now and I’m not on drugs.”
Sydney pulled his grey flat cap from his head and ran his fingers through his fine grey hair. “You shouldn’t have come here. I told you last time that my heart couldn’t stand any more heartache from you. Just go and do what you’re doing and leave me alone.”
Elsie was panicking. He was her father. Why was he being so hard hearted? She came close to him and spoke in a soft voice. “I said I’m clean dad. I’ve not touched drugs for ages. Tony is clean too. We have got our lives back on track now. You were right about me, everything you said was true. I can see that now. Can we just talk for a bit?”
“I’ve got no money,” Sydney sneered. “I tried and tried to help you and you just threw it back in my face. Your mother will have a heart attack if she knows you’re back on the scene. She told you last time to never to darken our door again. You broke her heart when you took them kids.”
“For fucks sake dad. I’ve just told you I’m sorry. I know what I did and in time I can start to pay the money back that I took. Tony has got a job now and we will have some extra money coming in. I know I made a mistake by taking Emily and Jordan, just let me talk to you.”
Sydney shook his head. “Just let me be Elsie. I don’t need this in my life. My ticker has been playing me up and I’ve had a few near misses. So please, just leave us alone.”
Elsie choked up. “Dad, our Emily and Jordan haven’t seen you for years. They’re your grandchildren. Surely, you can’t stop loving them too. They’re innocent in all this.” Elsie had a point here and Sydney was stuck for words. He loved his grandkids and he’d spent hours with them when they were younger. It would be nice to see them, to hold them, kiss them and make up for all the years that had gone by. But his grandchildren were connected to his daughter, she’d be there with them worming her way back into his life. “What is it you want? Money?” he said angrily. He still wasn’t buying that she was clean. He pulled out his old tan wallet from his pocket and dipped his fingers inside. Finding a ten pound note he wafted it in front of her face. In the past this did the trick, she’d have done anything years ago for a tenner.
Elsie closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. It was like he’d stuck a big silver carving knife deep in her chest, his words, his voice. “I don’t want your money. For the last time I’m telling you I’m clean. I’ve not touched the gear for a long time. We are even going on holiday with the kids. We’ve changed Dad, please believe me.”
Sydney started to move away. He was agitated. He looked behind him and his voice changed, it was softer now. “Please, leave me alone. Maybe in time we can talk, but all this has knocked me for six. I need to speak to your mother. You hurt a lot of people Elsie, you can’t just walk back into our life and expect to start off like nothing has happened.” Elsie knew it was going to be hard, but to be neglected by her father was a bitter pill to swallow. What else could she say? Elsie watched as her dad walked along the road. He never looked back.
*
Elsie dropped her head in her hands as Tina banged the kettle on. It was a sad day for her and she was finding it hard to cope. “Tina, he just fucked off and left me as if I was a dollop of shite on his shoe.” Why wasn’t her life straight forward? Her father should have been overjoyed to see her, praised her for sorting her head out.
“He was probably shocked, Elsie. Fuck me, he’s not seen you for how long now?”
“Three years,” Elsie whimpered.
“What did you expect, fireworks?”
“I expected a hug at least, a ‘well done’ or something?”
“Are you from cloud cuckoo land or what? You’ve told me how bad you were and from what you have told me you really hurt your parents. I mean, your dad saw you on a street corner selling your body. That must have hurt, you never forget something like that.”
“Fuck off Tina, you know I hate talking about that. I’ve not been a brass for ages now. It was just a low time in my life when I hit rock bottom. I was desperate. I only did it a few times.”
“The truth hurts sometimes and I’m just saying what I see, that’s all.” Tina clinked the silver spoon on the side of the cup and placed it on the side. “Just give him time to get his head round it.”
Elsie picked up her mug of tea and wrapped her hands around it. “I hope you’re right. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve missed them you know, my mam, my dad, my sister, I’ve missed them all. It’s the drugs, Tina. It clouds your mind and numbs your emotions. I can see that now, but back then all I cared about was feeding my habit. Look how I nearly lost my kids. Social Services were on my back for years. Two weeks my kids were in care for and it done me in. I cried and cried until they were back home.”
Tina opened her packet of Benson and Hedges. She pulled one out and popped it into her mouth. “It’s regrets that keep you awake at night love; trust me, I know. Listen Elsie, I’ve known you a long time. You have been off drugs now for a few months and I’m proud of you. But this is a long road. You can’t just expect the world to jump up and do what you want them to do just because you’re clean. It’s the trust that you broke that will take time to repair. You lied to a lot of people, me included. You’re lucky I forgave you and gave you another chance. Fifty quid you nicked from me. I was on my arse too and you never gave a flying fuck.”
Wow, Elsie was sorry she spoke. Here she was doing her best to keep her life on track and everybody was just raking up the past. “Leave it out Tina. I know what I’ve done. You said it was water under the bridge, so stop bringing it up every chance you get. I don’t need you going snide on me as well.”
Tina sucked hard on her fag. “I bleeding well won’t shut up. It is water under the bridge but sometimes yo
u need reminding where you have come from.” The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds. “How’s Tony doing at work? Is he still working?”
It was a good job Tina spoke first otherwise Elsie was getting ready to go home. “He’s enjoying it. A bit too much if you ask me. That Sue’s a flirt and I’m sorry I ever mentioned the work to Tony now. It’s fucking Sue this, fucking Sue that. I’m sure she’s after my man. I’ll slice her face up if I hear one whisper that she’s coming on to him.”
Tina eyes opened wide. “I don’t think anyone would be interested in Tony, love. Give your head a shake and have a good look at him. He looks like a ferret,” she sniggered.
Elsie’s back was up, nobody called her man. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He floats my boat and that’s all that matters. Tina, have you got any Space Raiders in? I’m starving. I’m supposed to be on a diet but I can’t stop eating.”
Tina stood up and dug her hand into the cupboard. “You better get your head in gear if that Sue is on the prowl. You need to show Tony what you’re made of.”
Elsie nodded and drew her shoulders back. “Yes, you’re right. I’m going to start looking after myself and probably putting a bit of slap on my face too.”
“That’s the spirit. Show him you can look lovely too.”
Tina was taking the piss. Elsie was no oil painting and no amount of make-up would ever sort her spotty complexion out. Elsie sat munching, licking and sucking on her fingers. She froze and looked like she was in deep thought. “I think our Emily is having sex. Don’t ask me why I think that. I just do.”
Tina chewed on her bottom lip and rolled her eyes. “Bleeding hell, she’s nearly seventeen. What do you expect? I was twelve when I started messing about with the boys. The lads on the estate nicknamed me the bowling ball because they’d all had a finger stuck up me!”
Elsie nearly choked laughing. “Eww… That’s hanging. I was a late starter. Tony was my first.”
“Really? Oh my God. You don’t know what you’re missing love. I couldn’t have had just one man. Variety is the spice of life.”
“You’re a dirty cow though, you always have been. My body is special and just for my Tony.”
Tina burst out laughing and covered her mouth. “You’re Tony’s probably stuck up that fancy piece Susan as we speak.”
This was only meant to be a joke but Elsie spat her dummy out, Tina had hit a nerve. “Tina, you can be a right arse sometimes. I’m already paranoid about him working at her house so don’t be making me worse than what I am already.”
Tina held her hands up. “Sorry, love. You know me, I can’t help having a bit of a joke. Anyway,” she changed the subject. “What’s made you think Emily is having sex?”
Elsie played with her fingers, twisting them, stroking them. “I don’t know, call it a sixth sense or something. She’s changed lately and seems distant. She’s always at Jane’s and she’s lost weight. Have you seen her lately? She’s like a matchstick.”
“The last time I saw your Emily was months ago.”
“Well, she has. I might just come straight out with it and ask her.”
“You can’t just ask her, you need to be subtle, fish about first and see what she says.”
“Tina, what will I do if she admits it. Tony will go ballistic.”
“So, don’t tell him then. This is mother and daughter stuff, so it should be private. You need to make sure she’s using protection because the last thing she needs is a nipper. Yes, make sure she’s on the pill or get her some condoms. I’ve got a box full in the bedroom if you need some. Just take some home and leave them in her bedroom.”
“We used to be so close, she always told me everything. Do you think that I’ve been so caught up in my own shit that I’ve neglected her?”
“No, she’s just getting older that’s all. My Annie was the same. As soon as she hit fourteen she barely spoke to me. All she used to do was sit in her bedroom all day. I thought there was something wrong with her, but after talking to a few of my friends they told me it was normal. It’s their hormones, isn’t it?”
“Maybe it is. When I get home, I’ll see if I can have a chat with her. I’ll tell her about the birds and bees too.”
Tina shook her head. “It’s a bit late for that don’t you think?”
Elsie shrugged her shoulders and reached over and grabbed a cigarette from the packet on the table. “Nicotine, I always need a fag when I’m stressed out.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
The wind was howling so Tony was sat in the greenhouse freezing his nuts off, shivering, blowing his warm breath into his hands to try and fight the cold off. Maybe just wearing a t-shirt and his tightest fitting jeans wasn’t a good idea after all. Where did he think he was, the bleeding Caribbean? Tony picked up an old newspaper from the side of him. It was quite old and crusty. He’d not read a newspaper for as long as he could remember. He didn’t find them interesting, only, when he read his horoscopes. Oh, he loved what the stars had in store for him, especially if he was up in court or someone was looking for him. The stars guided him and helped him sort his life out. He was a Cancer star sign and maybe the traits of this horoscope were bang on with him. Tony was bored so he quickly flicked through the rag, scanning the pages for any nude women. Hold on, he found an interesting story about the notorious Maureen the Mangle. He’d been following the trial of this lady for a while. She was an international diamond smuggler and the word on the street was she was cunning and ruthless. She ran everything from her empire in Spain. Up to now the police had nothing on her until Harry the Cheese turned Queen’s evidence and told them everything. Tony carried on reading with interest, nodding his head, biting at his fingernails. What a result, the woman got a not guilty verdict. Tony loved it when one of his fellow grafters got a walk out from court. “Well, done Maureen,” he mumbled under his breath.
He froze and sat up straight, he could see someone approaching. He flattened his hair and stood to his feet like a soldier waiting for inspection. Bending down he picked up a plant and started to pull some old leaves from it, brown crispy flakes dropped to the floor. Looking busy was a talent he had and he the art down to a tee. “Hello sweetheart, you must be freezing in here,” Sue purred. “Do you want to come in the house until the rain calms down and I’ll make you a hot cup of tea to warm you up, you look perished?”
She didn’t have to ask him twice, he was already making his way to the door. His tone was confident as he replied. “You’re such a lovely lady, Sue. Thanks for looking after me while I’m here. I’ve never had this much attention in my life. Generally, I have to fend for myself. Her indoors is a lazy cow and doesn’t move from the sofa all day. I swear she’s glued to it; bone idle she is. Thanks, I’d love to come inside.”
Sue giggled and reached over and patted his arm softly. He made her laugh, every time she spoke to him, he had her in fits “That’s so nice of you to say that. I don’t mind at all. Anyway, I’d only be sat at home all day bored to tears. They say money doesn’t buy happiness and they’re right, I’ve never been so alone in my whole life.”
Tony had read about this kind of woman in his porn magazine Big Jugs Monthly. They were gagging for it, ready for any man that give them the time of the day. He rubbed his hands together as he blew his warm breath onto them. If this woman wanted a quick leg-over then Tony was the man for the job. He’d be in and out of her like a ninja. Like a rat up a drainpipe. “I was freezing my balls off out there. Look at my teeth chattering,” he acted out his teeth banging together. “I forgot to bring my warm clothes with me today through rushing about. Not that I have lots of clothes, I’ve not bought myself anything smart in years. I thought I was joshing it though; I wouldn’t need any new clothes if I was dying. I just saved the money for the family instead.” Tony was feeling sorry for himself, aware her eyes were on him.
Sue was alert. “You’re such a caring soul. Oh, that reminds me. I’ve got some old clothes of my husbands that I was taking to the charit
y shop that you can have if you want,” she paused. “I hope I’ve not offended you by saying that? Me and my big stupid mouth again. Sorry.”
Tony cut her short and smirked. “Don’t be daft. I’ll have them for sure if they fit. I’ve not really got any clothes for work; so I’d be grateful of anything. Made up in fact.”
“Alright then, once we have had a drink we can have a look through the clothes and see if anything takes your fancy. My husband has some really nice designer clothing, expensive they were.”
Something took his fancy alright and he couldn’t hide it, he was drooling as he looked at her. Every wank he’d had for the last few weeks had been over this woman. And, for it to become a reality, wow, it didn’t bear thinking about. His mind was filthy and, in his head, he’d had her bent over so many objects having sex, it was untrue. Tony was back in the game alright; he was the man of the hour. He sat down and rubbed at his goose-pimpled arms and made conversation. “Where does your old fella work, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Sue shouted behind her as she stood at the kitchen sink washing out two cups with her candy pink marigolds on. “He works all over the country and, to tell you the truth I’m not sure what he does. I just know he’s never home. I bet he’s got some dolly-bird on the go. You hear about it don’t you, and well, he’s never here with me.”
Tony was alarmed. “No, he’d never risk losing you Sue. You’re a mint bird, he’d need his napper testing if he fucked about on you. You’re the dog’s bollocks…” Tony rolled his eyes and cringed slightly. He just couldn’t help swearing, it just came out.
Sue walked back to him and passed him his hot drink. The steam was flowing from the top of it like a steam engine. Sue’s expression changed and she ran a single finger along her long slender leg, tapping it slowly. “Do you think I’m attractive Tony?” Fucking hell, he was going under, he went bright red, he didn’t know where to look. He gulped, had the cat got his tongue or what, he was stuttering. He took a deep breath and sucked hard on his lips. “Yes, you’re gorgeous. One of the nicest ladies I have met in a long time.” Sue smirked and sat down. She was just staring at him now. She was a prick-tease for sure.
