by Marie Force
As usual, her long blonde hair was contained in a braid that nearly reached her supple ass. She wore a beat-up straw hat and cutoff denim shorts that made him want to drool at the sight of her long, tanned legs. Then she bent over to pull some weeds, and he went hard at the memory of taking her from behind two nights ago.
“Hey, hon,” he said, flipping the latch on the gate to the picket fence that surrounded her yard.
She turned to him, a welcoming smile lighting up her gorgeous face. “Hi there. I thought you had a meeting with your brother.”
“I did,” he said, closing the gate behind him. “And then I had lunch with my boys.” He kissed her cheek and then her lips. “Missed you.”
“You saw me three hours ago.”
“Three hours is a long time.” He gave her ass a squeeze because it was a great ass, and he couldn't resist.
“How was your meeting?”
“Interesting. Mac is looking to buy the Wayfarer and offered a stake to each of us.”
“Each of who?”
“His brothers, children, niece and nephews. He wants to renovate it and have it opened for next season. Gonna call it McCarthy’s Wayfarer.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“All his ideas are great. Look at what he did with a ramshackle marina everyone told him not to buy.”
“Are you interested? In investing in the new place?”
“Hell, yes. It’s some of the best real estate on the island, and with the proximity to the ferry landing, an excellent lure for the day-trippers. My house in Connecticut is due to close in the next few weeks, so I’ll have some money to invest.”
“Sounds good,” she said with a decided lack of enthusiasm.
“Does it?”
“Sure.”
“What’s wrong, Chels?”
“Nothing.”
He took her hand and gave it a tug. “Come inside and talk to me.”
“We can’t talk right here?”
“I can’t put my arms around you and hold you close while we’re out here without causing a five-alarm Gansett Island scandal, as my brother Mac calls them.” Tugging her hand, he convinced her to go inside with him.
In the small foyer that she’d turned into a mudroom, she took off her straw hat, hung it on a hook and kicked off the rubber clogs she wore for gardening. Then she went to the sink to wash her hands. Turning to him, holding a hand towel, she said, “What’d you want to talk about?”
So many things. “Whatever is on your mind. I mentioned making some plans, and you seemed troubled. I’d like to know why.” Being with her had taught him to be more open about his thoughts than he’d ever been in any relationship prior to this one. He’d followed her lead. If she thought it, usually she said it, and he’d come to admire that quality in her.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” she said tentatively.
Uh-oh. Please don’t tell me you want out of this. Please… “About?” His heart pounded a mile a minute, and he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.
“I just turned thirty-seven.”
“I know.” They’d celebrated with dinner at Stephanie’s Bistro, and he’d surprised her with a diamond bracelet that she’d loved. At least she’d seemed like she’d loved it… “You don’t look a day over twenty-five, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She offered him a small smile. “You’re sweet to say so, but I’m not twenty-five anymore, and lately, I’ve begun to think about what’s next for me.”
Kevin felt like he was standing atop a trapdoor that was going to open any second and send him reeling. He couldn’t seem to form any words, even to ask what was next for her and whether it included him. Then her eyes filled with tears, and he crossed the room to her, putting his arms around her. “Whatever it is that you want, Chelsea, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you get it.”
She released a huff of laughter. “I doubt you’ll still say that when you hear what it is, especially when I haven’t wanted to talk about the future for us while you’re still married.”
He drew back from her, just enough so he could see her sweet face. Brushing away a tear that slid down her cheek, he said, “Tell me.”
She took a deep breath, held it and released it. “I think I might want to have a baby.”
For a moment, his mind went completely blank. Of all the things he’d thought she might say, that hadn’t been in the top ten. Hell, it hadn’t been in the top one hundred. Felled by shock, he tried to think of something to say. “I… um… a baby. Well…”
“I’ve totally shocked you.”
“To say the least.” Not once in the year they’d spent together had she ever mentioned wanting a child. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and ran his fingertip over her cheek. “What brought this on?”
“Something my sister-in-law said when they called for my birthday.”
“What’d she say?”
“She was only joking, but she said my eggs are getting old, and if I’m ever going to have kids, I’d better get busy.”
As if that trapdoor had opened, Kevin felt like he was spinning through space, not sure where he was going to land. He had not seen this coming. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“Surely I need to say something.”
She rested a hand on his chest, right above his fast-beating heart. “I don’t expect anything from you, Kevin.”
“You don’t? Really? After a year together, you expect nothing from me?”
“I mean I don’t expect you to father my child.”
For some reason, her statement made him feel like he’d been gut-punched. “So what’re you saying? You’re going to find someone who will?”
“No! I’m not saying that at all.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s happening here, Chels. I’m going to be fifty-three next month. My sons are twenty-six and twenty-eight. I’m hardly thinking about starting a new family at this stage in my life.”
“I know.”
“I feel kinda blindsided by this, hon. I had no idea this was something you wanted.”
“Neither did I,” she said, new tears filling her eyes, “until I was reminded that time is running out, and if I’m ever going to do it, I need to do it now.”
Kevin turned away from her, running a trembling hand through his hair. “Where does this leave us?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to lose you. That’s the last thing I want, but I completely understand if what I want isn’t what you want.”
There were, after all, sixteen years between them. That’d never mattered before, but it certainly did now. “I… I need a little time to process this, honey. I hope you understand…”
“I do. Of course I do. And I’m sorry to do this to you, but we promised to always be honest with each other.”
He turned back to her, took her into his arms and kissed her gently. “You know how much I appreciate your honesty, and you should have everything you want out of life. I’d never stand in the way of your happiness.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Kevin,” she said, looking up at him with eyes full of unshed tears. “I’ve been trying to reconcile my desire to have a baby with our relationship and…”
“It doesn’t add up, does it?”
“Not easily. No.”
“Will you do something for me?”
She nodded.
“Give me some time to process this. Nothing has to be decided today or even tomorrow, right?”
“Right.” Hesitating, she said, “I’m sorry to do this to you—and to us.”
“You haven’t done anything to me or to us. We’ll figure it out. I don’t want you to be upset.”
“When I think about losing you, that makes me upset.”
He hugged her close. “You haven’t lost me. I’m right here.” He’d come here wanting to talk to her about his divorce being final, their upcoming first anniversary as a cou
ple, the investment he would be making with his brothers and their families. She’d thrown him for a loop by telling him she wanted a baby. He had no idea what to do with that information, but he was going to have to figure it out—and quickly.
“There’s no fool like an old fool,” he said later that night over poker at Frank’s house. Big Mac and his best friend, Ned Saunders, were also there.
“What the hell ya talkin’ ’bout?” Ned asked in his typical blunt style as he signaled for two cards.
Kevin, who’d dealt that round, gave him the cards.
Mac chewed on a nasty-smelling cigar while Frank refilled their glasses with whiskey.
“What are you talking about, Kev?” Mac asked, eyeing his cards shrewdly.
“Chelsea wants to have a baby.”
The cards fell from Mac’s hand, and he barely managed to keep the cigar in his mouth.
From across the table, Frank stared at him.
Ned began to laugh, his deep guffaws echoing off the walls in Frank’s small dining room.
Mac spoke first, after removing the stogie. “You, she… A baby. You’re gonna be fifty-three!”
“Believe me, I know how old I am and how old she is.”
After another long silence, Frank said, “Do you want another child?”
“Truthfully? No, not particularly. But I do want her. She’s… Well, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me other than my boys, and I love every second I get to spend with her.”
“You’d be seventy-one when the kid wenta college,” Ned said.
Kevin scowled at him, and Ned cracked up laughing again. “Glad you find this so funny.”
“’Tis funny,” Ned said. “You’d think so yerself if one a us said it.”
Kevin couldn’t deny that, so he didn’t try.
“What’re you going to do, Kev?” Mac asked.
“I have no idea, but it’s all I can think about since she told me this earlier.”
“She’d never mentioned wanting a baby before now?” Frank asked.
Kevin shook his head. “Not to me.”
“That’s kinda unfair of her to drop this on you outta the blue after a year together,” Mac said.
Kevin felt the immediate need to defend Chelsea. “I think it’s a recent realization on her part, that time is running out, and if she’s ever going to do it, she needs to get going.” He fiddled with a pile of chips on the table, the cards all but abandoned since he dropped his bomb on their game.
“What it comes down ta,” Ned said, “is whether ya wanta spend the rest of yer life with her. If ya do, then yer gonna have to be okay with havin’ more kids. She says she wants one, but once she has one, she’s gonna want another so the first one don’t grow up alone. Ya know how women are.”
He did know, not just from his own life, but from his practice. Babies often came in pairs. “Fucking hell. I’ll be seventy-five with kids in college.”
“But you’d have her,” Frank said gently.
“True.” And that was no small thing to Kevin.
“Just thinka this,” Ned added. “Ya could allocate yer life insurance to their college tuition.”
Mac busted up laughing.
Frank, to his credit, tried to at least hide his smile.
“You’re not helping,” Kevin said to Ned, who was taking far too much delight in his dilemma.
“Oh, sorry,” Ned said, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Didn’t know I was supposa be helpin’.”
Kevin smiled and shook his head at his brother’s friend who’d become his friend, too, over the last year. They referred to Ned as the fourth McCarthy brother. “What am I going to do, you guys?”
“To me, it comes down to the relationship with Chelsea,” Frank said. “If you can’t imagine your life without her anymore, then the decision becomes somewhat simple.”
“T’ain’t nothin’ simple ’bout havin’ a baby at fifty-three,” Ned said.
“No,” Frank said, nodding in agreement. “That part is more complicated, but it’s a baby, not a bomb. Imagine the joy you’ll experience bringing a new life into this world. Doesn’t matter how old you are. All that matters is that you’d love that child the same way you love Riley and Finn.”
Kevin contemplated what Frank had said. As always, his eldest brother was full of wisdom. “What if Betsy came to you and said she wants to have another child?”
Frank’s mouth fell open and then closed.
Kevin laughed at his reaction.
“I’m a lot older than you are, and besides, Betsy can’t have more kids.”
“Still, what if she could, and she came to you saying she wanted one?” Kevin asked.
Frank pondered that for a minute. “I love her so much, I’d give her anything she wanted, even a baby.”
“Whoa,” Ned said. “At yer age?”
Frank shrugged. “Like I said, it’s a baby, not a bomb.”
“True,” Kevin said, “but at our age, a baby would be like a bomb dropping in the middle of a life that seemed to be going in a certain direction. Until it wasn’t…”
“I just think…” Mac shook his head. “Never mind.”
“Don’t do that,” Kevin said. “Tell me what you think. I want to know or I wouldn’t have told you guys.”
“My concern,” Mac said tentatively, “is you doing something you don’t really want to so you can make someone else happy. This is a big deal, Kev, as you well know. You’ve already raised two kids. You know what it takes to do it right, and if you don’t honestly feel that you can do it right at this age, then don’t do it.”
“Well stated, Mac,” Frank said.
Kevin looked down at the table where the cards and chips were scattered about. “Sorry to ruin poker night.”
“You didn’t,” Mac said. “Who else are you going to talk to about this besides us?”
“Um,” Ned said, “how ’bout his boys?”
The thought of broaching this topic with Riley and Finn turned Kevin’s stomach. They would not be pleased to hear their father was evening considering such a thing. “They’ll think I’m a fool.”
“Doesn’t matter what they think,” Frank said. “They’re grown men who don’t want you meddling in their lives. They owe you the same courtesy.”
“Still,” Kevin said, “we all know their opinion will matter to me, even if it shouldn’t.”
Mac put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “Whatever you decide, we’ll support you one hundred percent. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Frank nodded. “What he said.”
Kevin smiled at his brothers. Their support meant the world to him, but he still had no idea what to do.
Chapter 4
Chelsea wiped down the bar for the third time in an hour. The Beachcomber was slow tonight, which was the exact opposite of what she needed to keep her mind busy. She couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin’s expression when she’d told him she wanted a baby. After their awkward conversation, she sort of wished she hadn’t said anything.
He was going to be fifty-three in a few weeks. What the hell would he want with another child when his were in their late twenties?
Every time someone walked into the bar, her heart skipped a beat until she realized it wasn’t him. Every time, the disappointment took her breath away.
God, how in the hell had she let this happen? How had she, who’d remained stubbornly and happily single all these years, allowed herself to fall for a guy who was at a totally different place in his life than she was in hers? How had she allowed him to become so indispensable to her?
After giving her a kiss and telling her to have a good night at the bar, he’d gone off to see a few patients before poker with his brothers. He never said he’d see her later or if she’d see him at all. It wouldn’t surprise her if she never saw him again. Almost every night that she worked, he came by at one point to have a beer or a bowl of chowder, sometimes both. His visits were the high point of her shift, and she’d begun to look forward to his
arrival.
He probably wasn’t coming tonight, and she couldn’t blame him. But that didn’t quell the disappointment that festered within her. She’d made a huge mistake dropping this on him the way she had. He was about to be officially divorced, free and clear for the first time in more than thirty years. His sons were through college and fully grown. What in the hell would he want with another child at this point in his life?
Her heart ached at the thought of losing him. What’d begun as a one-night stand had turned into something so much more than she’d ever had with anyone else. The sixteen years between them had never been an issue until now.
Ugh, she felt sick. Why hadn’t she kept her mouth shut about the baby? Things with Kevin had been so good…
“Hey, Chelsea,” Niall Fitzgerald said as he took a seat at the bar. He was one of the regular performers at the Beachcomber and had become a friend during the summer he’d spent on the island.
“Hi, Niall. Guinness?”
“You know I never say no to that.”
“Coming right up.”
Chelsea went through the motions of pouring the thick, dark beer without giving it a thought. She’d done it so many times, it was like second nature to her. She placed the glass on a Beachcomber cocktail napkin in front of Niall.
“Thank you.” He took a sip of the beer. “Mmm, that’s good, and well poured as always. You’d make the bartenders back home very proud.”
Niall had short brown hair and big blue eyes that, along with his gorgeous Irish accent and beautiful singing voice, got him a lot of attention from the ladies who patronized the Beachcomber. “When’re you gonna leave that doctor of yours for me, my love?”
And he was a flirt of the highest order. Normally, Chelsea laughed him off, but tonight his question hit like an arrow to the chest and had her blinking back tears.
“Whoa, Chelsea… I’m sorry. What did I say?”
“Nothing,” she said, waving off his concern. “I’m just having a rough day.”
“Everything okay with Doctor Kevin?”
