She shrugged and said she’d taken a home pregnancy test when she was in Canada. It came back positive, but she still needed time to process things herself. She pouted and told him that she had been researching obstetricians but she wasn’t ready to go public.
Ethan grimaced.
It was a little late for that, but he kept his opinion to himself.
He gently tried to question her further, but she refused to talk about it. She said she just wanted to focus on them and get them both to a better place. He told her he would do everything possible to make life easy for both her and the baby, and he would be the best dad he could be.
Then she interrupted him and told him she was happy he felt that way, because being together as a family was the best decision all around, not only for the “kid,” but for their careers as well.
He gently corrected her and told her that while he respected her as the mother of his child, it would be unfair to both of them and to the child to be in a relationship when they weren’t in love. He told her if they could bring up their child in a healthy, respectful, loving way and develop a life-long friendship, their child would thrive.
He wanted to be honest with her and hoped she would at least hear him out, but she stared at him blankly. He waited quietly for her to formulate her thoughts.
When she finally spoke, her words were ice cold. She told him she didn’t believe he didn’t love her, and that he was too smart to ruin his life and his career. Then she grabbed her purse and, as she walked out the door, called him a fucking prick bastard.
He was taken aback by her words. He knew she was young, and sometimes she spoke without consideration, but this was different. She seemed so threatening and cold.
He wasn’t sure what to think.
He did feel like a prick.
This was not how he wanted things to be. He didn’t want to hurt Mia. He would do what needed to be done for her and their child but he couldn’t make himself love her.
Also, he was confused by how they went from casual dating for the past few months to her being “madly in love with him.”
They’d never had a single conversation about her feelings. Not even one. She never gave him any indication that she wanted more, unless he counted her confessions on social media.
After Mia had stormed out, he forced himself to take a nap. He was exhausted and when he woke up, his mind was on Reagan. He wished he could be with her, sitting quietly with his arms around her. He found her presence calming and comforting. Being around her always made him feel grounded.
He knew he needed to explain everything to her. Hot gossip like this didn’t take long to spread to the celebrity television programs. TMZ would make a mockery out of him. They loved tearing down celebrities and dragging them through the mud. They shattered lives all the time in the name of entertainment.
It was Ethan’s wish to protect Reagan from that. He had hoped they could discreetly build their relationship and enjoy getting to know one another, at least for a while, but now his privacy would surely not be respected. It was almost a certainty that Reagan had already heard the news.
He desperately needed to speak with her.
He poured himself a scotch and checked his phone one last time. Reagan still hadn’t responded and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t hear from her. He was tempted to drive over to her place and hope she’d let him in, but he was afraid he’d be tailed by the paparazzi. He knew they were waiting outside his gate and they would camp out until they got the next twist in the plot they were spinning.
He wondered if Mia had stirred the pot today with her visit, or if she’d given them any more sound bites. He didn’t think he could stomach surfing the net or watching television to find out.
He couldn’t recall any time in his life he’d felt so helpless.
CHAPTER 38
REAGAN
Reagan was getting ready for her FaceTime meeting with her new client, Kirk, when Ethan’s latest text came in.
I’m pretty sure you’re aware of my situation by now. I know it looks bad, but there’s more to the story that I need to explain. I know you’re upset. We need to talk about us.
She knew that she needed to reply to him, but only to say good bye.
Children came first, and now that she was aware of Mia and her pregnancy, she wouldn’t do anything to interfere. She wouldn’t be responsible for breaking up a family.
The problem was, saying goodbye to Ethan was so hard. She’d tried to text him several times, but couldn’t find the right words. She was still confused, her emotions all over the place, but it was time for her to work. She would put on her Lady Grace costume and let her worries slip away for a while.
She dressed in her fiercest outfit for the new client, and even though she didn’t feel formidable, she sure as hell looked it.
Kirk was an interesting character. He wasn’t as submissive as Reagan had expected. He was tough-looking, with a shaved head and trimmed goatee. He answered all her questions and even asked intelligent questions himself, but something about his demeanor confused her.
When he made eye contact he seemed to be challenging her, as though he was testing her strength and her resolve.
But mainly, it was his smile. It was sardonic, as if he knew something she didn’t.
She wondered if she was being overly sensitive given her emotional state.
As the conversation went on, he relaxed. Then, when she explained the rules and boundaries, he seemed to soften considerably.
She was on the fence with this one, and typically, when that happened, she would decline a session.
She looked at him for a minute or two in complete silence before giving him her answer, waiting to see how he would respond. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably, but waited patiently for her to speak, his eyes respectfully downcast. She smiled softly at him, dismissing her doubts.
She told him she would meet with him and they set up a session for Friday.
It was bitter-sweet for Reagan because she’d decided that this would be her very last session as Lady Grace. She was ready to hang up her riding crop for good.
Later that day, she was sitting on the edge of her bed, one leg tucked under her. She’d read Ethan’s text over and over, but it didn’t get any easier. She sighed softly, her eyes brimming with tears.
She didn’t think getting together with him was a good idea. She wasn’t sure how she would react but she knew she couldn’t trust herself around him. She was certain she would lose her composure. Seeing him would start the grieving process all over again.
The truth was, she didn’t need him to pacify her and she wasn’t the kind of woman who needed an exit interview or an explanation of what went wrong.
She loved Ethan.
She didn’t need to put either of them through the pain of a final farewell. Yes, he should have told her the truth, but he didn’t and there was nothing either of them could do about that now.
He made a mistake, but facts were facts. He was with Mia and they were having a baby. Nothing could change that.
She would let him go gracefully.
Ethan, we both know that this is over. Be happy. I sincerely mean that. Good bye.
She sent the text before she could change her mind. Then she turned her phone back off and shut off her light. She needed sleep to come and ease her aching heart.
* * *
The rest of the week went by so slowly for her. She tried her best to keep her mind off Ethan by keeping busy. He sent her several text messages following her “good bye” text, and even called her directly to leave a voice mail, imploring her to call him back. She knew he wanted to talk, and every part of her wanted to connect with him too, but she just couldn’t do it.
She spent time with the seniors on Wednesday but avoided Bill. She knew he would pick up on her grief, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, so instead she offered to help out with a cooking class. The ladies were delighted she was there and made her feel loved and welcome. They did
a lot to raise her spirits and she was grateful.
On Thursday, she went to visit Ragnar at the shelter. It was Penny’s day off, which worked out well for Reagan. She didn’t want to talk about her problems yet. Penny would be so disappointed. She wanted so much for Reagan to find love. She would tell Penny about it soon, and also let her know about her decision to close up shop. She knew that her friend would be happy about that, so it would all balance out.
So many dogs had come and gone, but her sweet boy was still there. They brought him out to her and although he was excited to see her and be out of his kennel, he was well behaved for his handler. She was pleased his training was starting to pay off.
She knelt down and smiled at him, scratching him behind the ears. She knew it was just a matter of time before someone adopted him, and although she wanted him to find a home, she was going to miss him. He had become such a good friend.
By Friday, she was starting to feel a little better. Although she still missed Ethan terribly, she was starting to feel a little more hopeful. She looked forward to her session that night with her final client. She looked at it as closure of that part of her life. It was time to make space for something new.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she felt like something wonderful was just around the corner.
When her appointed time to meet Kirk arrived, she was dressed and ready. She looked fierce in a black leather corset and leather pants, her hair pulled back in a tight knot. She was anxious about the session, although she didn’t understand why. She chalked it up to the emotional week she’d had.
She didn’t think Kirk would be challenging. When they spoke earlier, he explained that, although he was curious about BDSM, he’d never acted on it before. He told her he was openminded and that being submissive appealed to him. He said he would follow her lead.
She could work with that.
He arrived a few minutes later than their agreed time. Normally she would discipline bad manners, but something about this man set off all her warning signals. He was jittery and anxious, sweat beading on his forehead.
She stood in the doorway with her riding crop in hand, assessing the situation and trying to decide how to proceed. Kirk ducked in beside her, showing himself into her apartment.
She was caught off guard by his assertiveness and quickly spun around to look at him. He looked around her apartment, as though passing judgment.
Reagan quickly took control.
“Kirk, you do recall the rules and boundaries we discussed, don’t you?”
He turned back and looked at her.
“Yes I do.”
He grinned and walked back towards her. She held her ground.
“I know you’re new to this, so let me make this easy. While you are in session with me, you will keep your eyes downcast unless I say otherwise. You will not speak to me unless spoken to. You will answer my questions quickly and with respect. Do you understand?”
He raised his eyes, trying to suppress a smirk.
Reagan didn’t like his energy at all. She narrowed her eyes, reading his body language and waiting for his answer.
“Sure,” he finally said.
She crossed her arms and regarded him a moment, saying nothing.
Kirk kept his eyes down but he was still smirking.
She wondered if this was his way of dealing with nerves or if it was something else. She needed to test him.
“What are you fucking smirking about, boy?”
Kirk chuckled but kept his eyes down.
Reagan stepped closer, circling him, stroking her riding crop across his upper back as she made her way around him. She stopped in front of him, resting the crop on his left shoulder.
He looked up, making eye contact, a cocky smirk on his face.
There was something in his stare that gave Reagan a very bad feeling. She dropped the crop to her side. This man was not submissive, and wasn’t interested in experiencing it either.
“The session is over,” she said bluntly.
Kirk looked at her, his cockiness replaced with surprise. He shook his head.
“I’m paying you. You can’t just decide not to go through with it.”
He leaned in, raising his hands to grab her shoulders.
She stepped back, avoiding his touch.
“Oh, you’re mistaken. I’ve decided. I’m not the right fit for you. If you want to explore your fetishes, you’ll have to find someone else. Please leave.”
She stepped aside, gesturing for the door.
He didn’t move.
Reagan didn’t speak, knowing that whoever spoke first would lose.
Kirk started laughing, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Although he made her nervous, she refused to let it show.
“Whoever heard of a whore turning down work?” he spat.
Reagan glared at him, her eyes locked to his, and said nothing.
Finally, he broke eye contact and looked down.
She inhaled slowly, trying to calm herself without giving him any indication she was unnerved. She refused to show weakness.
He shrugged and looked back up at her.
She could tell he was angry.
“Whatever,” he blurted. “I’m not here for myself anyway.”
Reagan crossed her arms impatiently.
“I know you’ve been seeing Ethan McLaughlin. I’m here for him.”
Reagan inhaled sharply.
Kirk’s grin turned into more of a snarl. She felt an intense disgust for him.
Hearing Ethan’s name stirred her emotions and she was certain it showed in her face. She tried to reel her feelings in, but she knew it was too late.
Kirk nodded, reading her expression.
“What do you think would happen if your relationship was to become public knowledge?” he said, using air quotes around the word relationship. “It would be very bad for Ethan and his career.”
Reagan tried to wrap her brain around what Kirk was saying. It never even dawned on her that Ethan would think she’d out him to the media.
She was shocked that he’d send this creep to scare her.
No, it wasn’t shock, she was hurt. She tried not to show it and continued to hold her tongue.
“You signed a non-disclosure agreement and we need to make sure you honor it. You see, I’m here to offer you some money. It’s unlikely you’d break the agreement, you couldn’t afford the enormous lawsuit you’d be looking at, but just in case, I’m offering you a quarter of a million dollars to keep your mouth shut and stay away from Ethan. I know you’re a smart woman, otherwise he wouldn’t be so attracted to you. I suggest you do the right thing.”
Reagan regarded the man in front of her, trying not to let her contempt show. She refused to give him that power.
He reached into his inside jacked pocket and pulled out a check, holding it toward her.
She met his stare, expressionless.
“Don’t be proud, Reagan. Take it. This is a lot of money for a whore.”
Reagan ignored the insult and instead zeroed in on her name. How did this man know her name? Did Ethan share that with him? How much had he told him?
She put her anger aside, knowing it would interfere with her confidence. She looked down at the check and held out her hand. Kirk grinned and gave it to her. Sure enough, it was for a quarter million, written out in her name.
Reagan looked up at Kirk and slowly smiled.
Kirk nodded.
“There you go, bitch” he said arrogantly.
Reagan shook her head and laughed.
Kirk’s smile slowly disappeared.
“What is so funny?” he snarled.
Reagan spoke for the first time since asking him to leave.
“Well, Kirk, I’m not the only one who signed that non-disclosure. Your friend also signed it,” she said calmly.
Kirk shrugged and shook his head, not following.
“This is your signature at the bottom of the check, right?”
Kirk narrowed his eyes at her.
“The NDA Ethan and I both signed is a legal contract that created an obligation to privacy. We both agreed to keep our arrangement confidential. It seems to me that by involving you, Ethan broke that arrangement.”
Kirk opened his mouth to speak and then quickly closed it again.
“Tell me, how did you come to know my name and find me?”
Kirk shifted from one foot to the other, sweat forming on his forehead once again.
Reagan took the check over to the counter, picked up a pen and wrote VOID across it.
She looked up at him.
“You think you’re real smart coming over to a whore’s house with a pay off. You’re so smart you just opened your friend to litigation that could go far beyond a quarter million. That’s right, tough guy. You fucked up. Must hurt to be so dumb.”
She walked over to him, smacking her riding crop in her hand.
“You can tell your buddy I don’t need the pay off. Not with such easy evidence of breach of contract,” she said softly, trying with all her might to control the emotion in her voice.
Kirk reached out to snatch the check but Reagan smacked his hand with the riding crop with lightning speed.
Kirk looked at her with fire in his eyes.
“That hurt, didn’t it, dumb ass?”
He looked like he was going to swing a punch at her but she just glared at him, slapping the crop in her palm once again.
“Go on, try. The combination of your brains and speed should make for a bloody whipping session.”
Kirk’s expression, so arrogant, changed to fear.
Reagan gestured for him to leave.
He shook his head, and stood his ground.
“Listen to me, you bitch. You won’t win. No court would take the word of a whore over the word of a movie star,” he snapped.
Smack.
The riding crop swung so fast Kirk never saw it coming. It struck his cheek, leaving a bright red mark across it.
Instantly his eyes glazed with tears, the sharpness of the pain written all over him.
Reagan sighed.
“Get off my property, Kirk. I like to play with men’s submissive side, but there’s nothing as pathetic as a man who’s weak.”
Fire & Ice: A Ménage Fantasy Page 90
