I'm sorry for being such a butthead. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe not right now, but hopefully in the future.
-Stu x
I held the letter firmly in my grasp, letting out a heavy sigh as I processed all the words he had written. It was what I had longed to hear, and it answered my questions, but now I just had no clue how to respond. I have spent the last four years of my life hating the kid with every fiber in my being, now how I was supposed to alter that train of thought?
"So, this was everything you didn't say?" I wondered, my voice suddenly sounding dry and strained.
Stuart glanced up at me, obviously stunned by the fact that I had finished reading his note. "Um, yeah."
"Thank you," I mumbled, not being able to formulate any other response to him.
He stood up, shuffling over to the bed I was perched on and flopped down onto the mattress himself. His thick eyebrows were furred together. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"
I gulped, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly. My armpits were starting to sweat as the nerves kicked in, since Stuart was suddenly starting to seem thoroughly irritated by my reply. But I was truly at a loss for words. I had finally received the apology I always dreamt of, but now I had absolutely no clue of how to react or where we were supposed to go from here.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," I admitted, biting down on my lip as a nervous-response.
Stuart exhaled loudly, puffing air out of his mouth that fanned the front of my face. "I just- I just worked really hard on that note, okay? I wanted some kind of reaction, I don't know. Do you agree with it? Are you still mad at me? Do you still hate me? Do you want to not hate me? Do you want to be friends again? 'Cause I do and it sucks that we can't be friends because I don't know how to fix my mistake," Stuart rambled, obviously becoming rather frustrated.
His voice started to crack and his fingers began to shake. If I squinted I was almost positive I could spot a few tears building up in his eyes, threatening to spill over his cheeks. "Even if you still hate me can you please still live in that house? I have never lived alone before, I'm always with the boys. You were only gone a few hours and I was so lonely. I don't think Keagan is going to stop the roommates agreement and I don't think I will ever stop missing you. Please come back home, Ann. We can rebuild our friendship again."
Stuart sucked in a deep breath as he started to whimper, and he could no longer hide the fact that he grown emotional and started to cry. Stuart covered his eyes with his palms. "I'm so sorry, Ann. I miss you so much," Stuart muttered in between his sniffles.
I had only seen Stuart cry twice in my whole life. Once when he had broken his arm when we were playing soccer in his backyard, and once when he found out that his grandfather had died. Other than that, he had never cried in front of me before. When he was sad I would always just talk him through it or he would disappear for a bit to play the guitar, or the bass.
But it's been a long time apart, and I didn't know how to console him anymore. However, it was still breaking my heart to see him so frustrated and shaken up, so I did the only thing I could think of. I wrapped my arms around him.
Stuart jumped at first, obviously shocked that I had willingly given him a hug, but he soon relaxed into my arms and pulled me closer to his body while nestling his head into my neck. I rubbed my hands on his toned back in circles, trying to calm him down. It obviously worked, since he had stopped crying, but he didn't pull away from our embrace. I squeezed him even tighter as a sense of nostalgia swept over me. He still gave the best hugs.
I tilted my head back so I could see his face and wiggled my body out of his grip, simply so I could touch his face. His brown eyes stared intently as my hand moved closer to him, placing my palm gently on his large cheeks to wipe away his tears with his thumb. "I forgive you," I told him with honesty. "I want to be friends again too."
Stuart's mouth parted open and I removed my hand from his chiseled face. "You do?"
"Yeah, I mean, you apologized and that's all I ever wanted. You obviously seem to regret your mistake so I should try and move on. It doesn't make sense for us to be in this arrangement and not be friends. It will make our lives easier if we can actually tolerate each other," I explained, giving him a small smile. "And as much as it pains me to admit this, I miss the way things used to be too."
Stuart grinned and opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, raising my hand up to signal him to stop talking. "But," I started. "If we are going to be friends again there will be a few conditions."
"Okay, that's fair."
"One: I still don't really trust you, so please don't do anything to make the whole gaining trust thing even harder," I announced, and Stuart simply nodded in an understanding manner.
"Two: I know I've only been on one date with Benjamin but I actually like him a lot and that hasn't happened in awhile so please don't do anything to jeopardize that and please don't embarrass me in front of him."
Stuart nodded again. "I won't. I swear."
"Good. And three: If you are going to hook up with that girl to satisfy your needs or whatever, please just go to her house. Please do not have sex with anyone on the bed in our room," I pleaded, shuddering as the horrific memory on walking in on the two of them re-entered my brain.
"Unless it's with-" Stuart began to say, then brought his sentence to halt before he could finish, so I had no clue what exception he was referring. "Never mind. Sorry. Can we go home now?"
I glimpsed at him. It felt nice to not look at him with pure disgust. He had seemed to realize and regret his mistake, and I always will give someone a second chance. Holding grudges added so much unnecessary negative energy into my mind, and it surprisingly felt extremely liberating to start fresh.
"Yeah. I'll drive us home. Clayton and Grace don't have to end their night just yet," I stated with a smirk, leaping off of the bed and retrieving my stuff before we left Grace's house.
To: Benny- benny
To: Ann- hi cutie
To: Ann- what's up
To: Benny - are u still picking me up for a surprise date tonight or should i not bother getting ready
To: Ann- you don't even need to get ready you always look great ;-)
To: Benny- shut up stop being cute
To: Benny- and stop with the noses in ur smileys i have told you this before!!
To: Ann- ok sorry sassy anna yes i am still taking you out tonight
To: Benny- good i miss your face
To: Ann- :-) see you soon ann
I smiled at my phone, feeling heat flush to my cheeks. Benjamin and I have been texting quite often in these past few days and I'm really glad he is able to make me feel all giddy through messages.
Even though today was Friday and the first day of Stuart and I living together as being friends again, or trying to be, Stuart wasn't even going to be here to hang out with. He told me that Bradley had invited him out to go see some movie and that he really missed his band so he was going to ditch me, but only for today.
I dashed into the bedroom and changed out of my baggy t-shirt and sweatpants and into a high-waisted light blue skirt with a white tank top tucked into it. I let my golden blonde hair roam free and rested my thick, black sunglasses onto the bridge of my nose. I had absolutely no idea where we were going, so I decided to dress casual, yet still dressy, even though Benjamin wouldn't be picking me up for awhile.
My feet danced against the carpet as I headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. After I had carefully polished each tooth and applied some perfume onto my neck, I entered the main living area again, this time noticing that there was a figure now lounged on the surface of the sofa.
"Oh, hey," I greeted, making Stuart crane his neck to the side to get a view of me. He smiled. "Are you still going to see Bradley today?"
Stuart chuckled. "Yeah. He's picking me up though so I have to wait a bit. But I'm really excited. I love that boy. It's so weird that I'm not with them everyday anymore."
"I'm sorry," I apologized, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear as I sat on the opposite couch. "That's my fault. But they are always more than welcome to come over, or even sleepover. You don't have to feel weird about having them hang out here."
"I know, it's just easier for me to go there since they are all in one place," Stuart insisted, shifting on the couch so he was sitting straight up. "Besides, you are probably only saying that because you want to see Benjamin again."
I giggled, playfully throwing a pillow at him. My actions were involuntarily and they surprised me. I had forgiven him just last night and we were already making progress. This was a good sign. "We're actually going on a date tonight."
"Nice," Stuart said blandly, checking his phone after a text message lit up the screen. "Bradley's here. Um, I'll see you later?"
"Okay," I agreed, giving him a small wave. "Wait, um Grace reminded me yesterday that Jordan, you know my costar, Jordan Hartford? Well he's having a party tomorrow night and we wanted to invite you guys to it. It's at his house, nothing fancy, but you and your band can come if you want."
He nodded his head, heading towards the door. "Alright, I'll ask them. Bye, Ann."
Chapter 13
Stuart
"She actually forgave you?" Clayton asked with wide eyes, almost in complete shock. "How did you manage that? Grace was just telling me how much Annabel hates you for whatever you did to her."
My thumbs were pressing away on the video game controller while I sat on the couch across from the television at my old LA home. Bradley had stopped here before we went to the movies to grab something, which I was kind of thankful for so I could spend more time with my friends.
I shrugged, still keeping attention on the FIFA battle I was having against Benjamin. "I'm not really sure. She forgave me much quicker than I deserved. But I guess we're going to try being friends now?"
I was aware that I was basically on thin ice when it came to my friendship with Annabel. It would take me a long time to build up her trust again, but at least I had the opportunity to make things right. I knew I was an idiot for my mistakes and I was willing to do whatever it takes to get us back to the way things were.
"That's good," Benjamin agreed, nodding his head while still playing the game. "She's the sweetest girl I've ever met so I can't imagine her being able to mean to you without feeling some guilt, you know? Man, I like her a lot. You're so lucky you get to live with her, Stu."
I huffed in reply, chewing down on my bottom lip and tilting my body as if it would help me do better in the game. It felt a little weird that Benjamin and Annabel are like a thing now, especially since they both talk to me about each other now. I didn't want to talk about Benjamin with Annabel or talk about Annabel with Benjamin, especially since I know plenty of things about each of them that I didn't want to share with the other. I had to admit that it was uncomfortable for me.
"Ann invited all of us to Jordan Hartford's house party tomorrow night. You guys better come," I informed them, just before Benjamin's team had scored a goal and I slammed my controller down in fury. "What? How did you even make that? We're doing a rematch."
Clayton laughed at our bickering and Benjamin simply restarted it, obviously very used to my frustration with losing. "Okay. I'll go, it's not like I have anything else to do," Clay responded as he fixed the bandana that was tied around his head.
"I'll definitely be there. Partying with Annabel would be like a dream come true," Benjamin gushed, just as Bradley reentered the main living room. "Bradley we're going to Jordan Hartford's party tomorrow!"
Bradley's smile widened before he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Alright, but first Stu and I are going to the movies."
Annabel
"You look absolutely beautiful," Benjamin complimented as soon as I had opened the door. His straight teeth were aligned into a bright smile and his blue eyes had locked onto mine, making the butterflies swarm around in my chest.
Benjamin had a black jacket clinging onto his body, along with a t-shirt underneath that just barely passed the waist of his skinny jeans. His tall body that towered over my own took a step inside my new home. "Thanks, so do you," I told him confidently, flashing a bright grin in his direction.
He raised his blonde eyebrows as his hands found their way to my hips. "I'm really glad we are seeing each other again."
"Me too," I admitted. Jesus, he was so cute. I really liked him a lot already, and it was scaring me how quickly I had grown smitten with him. "So what does our surprise date today entail?"
Benjamin let out a nervous, shifting his mouth to the side so he could tug on his lip ring with his pearly white teeth. "You see, Ann, I only said that to impress you. I have nothing planned at all. So why don't we do whatever you want to do?"
I couldn't help but hide my amusement. I knew it was almost too good to be true that a guy knew how to coordinate an entire date at such an early stage in our blossoming relationship. "Oh God, now I'm on the spot. Um, I don't really care. Do you want to go walk down the beach until we find something to do?"
"Okay," Benjamin agreed with a shrug of his shoulders. I figured it would be a good idea since we lived like right in front of the ocean, yet Stuart and I hardly ever took advantage of it. Maybe it was because we both equally enjoyed the indoors.
Once we had slipped out the back door, I kicked off my shoes and held them in one hand so my toes could squish against the coarse sand. Benjamin followed my actions, then carefully picked up my free hand and intertwined our fingers together. "It's gorgeous out here," Benjamin noted, taking in the view of the continuous crashing waves and the peaceful beach that was practically empty.
"Yeah. It still feels a little weird to be living here though," I confessed, since my previous house was not even remotely close to a beachfront property.
Benjamin's head was tilted down so he could get a complete view of my face, giving me his full attention. It was adorable that he truly wanted to listen to me. "Stu told us you two are trying to be friends again though. So maybe that will make living here a bit easier."
I nodded. "I guess so. I don't know how well it's going to work out. And it must be weird for you guys not to have one of your band members around."
"It is kind of weird," Benjamin agreed, stifling out a tiny giggle as he swung our laced hands. "But think of it this way: if you and Stuart weren't forced into this whole roommates thing, we never would have been able to go on a date."
I could feel my cheeks turning bright pink as I lifted my gaze to his face. "You are way too good at this whole romance thing, Lucas. I'm actually quite angry about it."
He let out a loud laugh, pulling on our intertwined hands to bring me closer to his body. "I'm sorry. I'm usually not this smooth, I'm just comfortable around you, Ann."
"Good," I mumbled, standing up on my tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek just as a gust of wind from the ocean breeze whipped across our faces. "Do you want to get some ice cream?" I asked, gesturing to the only food stand that was on this private beach.
Benjamin didn't reply, he just started racing towards the ice cream stand like a child, making me giggle as I followed closely behind him, attempting to keep up with his quick pace. The teenage girl working the counter gaped at the sight of us with her eyes widening in complete surprise. "You're Annabel McKenzie! And you're that kid from that band!"
"That's me," Benjamin stated proudly, chuckling to himself.
I lifted my palm up to my lips to prevent myself from laughing anymore, and then smiled at the employee. "Hi, it's nice to meet you! How are you, babe?" I asked politely.
The girl placed her palm over her heart as if she couldn't believe what was happening. "Um, I'm good, just a little star-struck right now," She replied, her eyes flickering between the two of us. Benjamin was smiling as if it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. "Uh, what can I- I mean, do you guys want anything?"
"Yeah, I'll have a medium cookies and cream," Benjamin ordered, then his gaze darted over to me a
nd he squinted, biting down on his lip. "And I'm going to guess that Ann will have a, um, small chocolate?"
"Make that a medium, please," I said quickly, winking at Benjamin.
The worker nodded and headed to the back to make our ice creams, and I almost swore I saw her take her phone out and snap a picture of the two of us. I was used to this, and I actually didn't mind it because it wasn't putting anyone at risk. However, when the paparazzi jump in front of you or follow you in clusters, I always get incredibly uneasy and claustrophobic.
Our ice creams were handed to us momentarily, and Benjamin had paid for the two of us, also leaving a generous tip for the sweetheart who had served us. I strolled over to the little picnic table on the beach, sitting down next to Benjamin with our bodies facing the picturesque ocean scene unraveling in front of us.
"Do you ever miss Australia?" Benjamin suddenly questioned, since the two of us had both been eating our ice cream silently.
I sighed. "I miss my family, and my dog, but I have some bad memories there. I much prefer living here. What about you?"
He licked some more ice cream from the cone he was gripping onto. "When the boys and I are in one constant place, like for the summer right now, I'm fine because it feels home-y. But when we're on tour I always get homesick because we are in like a new city everyday and it's overwhelming."
"I can only imagine," I responded, thinking over how crazy it must be to travel that often. I liked having these deeper conversations with Benjamin as opposed to our typical joking around or flirting. It made me crave his presence even more. "When do you guys go on tour again?"
"When summer is over," He answered coolly, then for some odd reason, stuck his ice cream close to me and pushed it onto my face, leaving behind a trail of ice cream on my nose and cheek.
Raunchy Roommate Page 7
