by Laura Martin
‘You have nothing to apologise for, Frannie.’
‘For my father. What he did to you...’
‘That’s his sin to bear the burden of, not yours.’
‘I tried everything I could,’ she said quietly.
When she’d heard Ben had been arrested for theft she’d confronted her father, who had promptly slapped her so hard she’d been knocked senseless for a few seconds, then he’d bundled her into her room. For days she hadn’t been allowed out, but eventually one of the maids had taken pity on her and unlocked the door. Francesca had headed straight for the county gaol and there had told anyone who would listen that Ben was innocent.
He had been accused of stealing jewellery from her family. None of it had been found in his possession, except one small locket. Her locket, the locket she’d given to him as a token of their friendship earlier that summer. The magistrate hadn’t listened when she had tried to explain and within half an hour her father arrived to drag her off home. The last time she’d seen Ben had been through the bars of a cell.
For eighteen years she’d agonised about her part in his conviction, wondering if she’d just shouted a little louder, begged a little harder, if things would have turned out differently.
‘I know, Frannie. I’ve never blamed you. You were just a child.’
‘So were you,’ she said, her eyes coming up to meet his.
As their eyes connected she felt her body react to his gaze and was reminded neither of them were children now. Francesca had images of Ben slowly undressing her, of their bodies coming together and his lips on her skin.
‘Perhaps...’ Ben said, but trailed off.
‘Yes?’
‘I know our time together is limited,’ he said slowly. ‘I know you have to marry Lord Huntley.’
She nodded, not wanting to be reminded of it, but knowing there was no getting away from her fate.
‘Perhaps we could find a way to make the most of the weeks we have left,’ he said.
‘What do you propose?’ she asked, hearing the slight wobble to her voice and trying to stop herself from imagining a whole host of wonderful, but not entirely respectable, pastimes.
He smiled, holding out for a long few seconds before answering. ‘Eight days for eight years,’ he said.
Frowning with confusion, she waited for him to explain.
‘You give me eight days of your life, one for every year of my sentence.’
‘And what do we do with these eight days?’
There was a mischievous glimmer in his eyes as he shrugged. ‘Whatever we want.’
It sounded wonderful. Eight days to be free, to do whatever she wanted. After that she would have to accept her fate, but for just a little while she could pretend her life was on a different track. He held out his hand to seal the bargain and tentatively Francesca placed her fingers in his.
‘When do we start?’ she asked, trying to ignore the warmth of his hand on hers. Neither of them was wearing gloves despite the icy temperatures and it was the first time she’d felt his skin against hers. His fingers were a little rough, probably from the years of physical work, and his hand engulfed hers completely.
‘Tomorrow.’
Tomorrow was as good a day as any. She had to remember she only had a few more weeks of freedom anyway. In six weeks her year of mourning finished and then she didn’t doubt her father would waste any time in arranging her marriage. She would likely be Lady Huntley within three months with no opportunity to go running after her childhood friend.
‘Tomorrow,’ she agreed.
Only then did he release her hand, placing it softly back in her lap. He was a man of contradictions. Physically powerful but gentle in his touch. Gone through so much suffering, but outwardly charming and jovial. And an ex-convict who could blend in at society events. He was a confusing man to be around.
‘Until tomorrow,’ he said, leaning over. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. She felt her lips part in anticipation and her heart begin hammering in her chest, but then he reached for the catch on the door, threw it open and hopped down.
‘How did you know it was me in here?’ she asked as he went to shut the door. ‘When you came out of the boxing club?’
She didn’t think he’d caught sight of her in the darkness of the interior.
‘Who else would be following me?’ he asked. ‘I barely know anyone else in London.’
With a smile and a wink he spun on his heel, striding off down the street. As she watched him go Francesca thought she even heard him whistling a jaunty tune. Trying not to think too much about what she’d just agreed to, she leaned out and instructed the coachman to take her home. Really she should be feeling dread and regret at her agreement to his proposal—no respectable lady would agree to it—but as she searched her emotions she could only find excited anticipation.
Chapter Five
Sitting at the small writing desk in his room, Ben tried to concentrate on the letter he was supposed to be writing to the man he’d left in charge of his farms while he was away in England. He’d left detailed instructions, so detailed the stack of paper was the size of a medium-length book, with Andrew Phillips, his very capable second in command. The man was trustworthy, sensible and good-natured, but still Ben didn’t feel easy about leaving him for so long. Every week he wrote the man a letter with further instructions and since being in London had received a few updates sent months before from Australia. He’d always found it difficult to trust anyone but himself, but so far it would appear Mr Phillips was doing a good job.
It was almost eleven and, unless she had changed her mind, Francesca would likely be making an appearance soon. He’d spent half the morning trying to pretend to himself he was indifferent to her and the other half wondering what had possessed him to make the silly suggestion the day before. Eight days. Eight days spent in her company. Already he could barely keep his thoughts from the gutter when his mind wandered to her—spending more time with her wasn’t likely to help matters. He knew he would find it difficult to keep his hands to himself for eight days and Francesca wasn’t the sort of woman who would give up her virtue to a man she would soon have to say goodbye to.
‘Remember, you’re in control,’ he muttered to himself. That was a lie. He found her so attractive he had struggled to stop himself from kissing her the last time they’d been together. What he was worrying about was getting to know her more and then not wanting to leave. She’d made it clear soon she would be marrying Lord Huntley so he was under no illusion that they would ride off into the sunset together. Perhaps during these eight days she would irritate him and then his attraction towards her would fade. He’d never had a problem moving on from women before. His relationships were always short and fun, ending before either party had the chance to develop a lasting affection for the other. Although none of them were Francesca...
Quickly he finished the letter he was writing and tidied the desk. His rooms were always meticulously clean and tidy—probably from the years spent living on top of scores of other men. He’d got used to hiding away anything precious to him and keeping his limited living space clean despite the less-than-sanitary conditions.
Crossing over to the window, he peered out, catching a glimpse of the muted grey skirt of one of Francesca’s mourning dresses. It seemed a strange tradition to him, wearing dull colours to signify your distress at the death of a loved one. Or in Francesca’s case the death of a husband it would appear she didn’t like very much at all.
He waited, listening as the maid answered the door downstairs. Already he’d instructed her to allow Francesca up and after a few seconds he heard quiet footfalls on the stairs.
There was a pause, as if she were hesitating, wondering if this was really such a good idea after all, then a knock on his door.
‘Good morning,’ he said, summoning his sunniest smile. She loo
ked nervous.
‘Good morning,’ she said, her voice much more composed than her expression.
‘Come in, sit down. Would you like a drink?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said, exhaling, some of the tension seeping from her at the normality of the offer. Perhaps she’d imagined him ravishing her as soon as she walked through the door. The thought had crossed his mind, but he wasn’t that immoral. He might want to lead her to the bedroom and strip off her ugly grey dress to see the woman underneath, but he knew that couldn’t happen and he would be foolish to spend too much time torturing himself.
‘I’ll go fetch some tea.’
He left her standing nervously looking around for somewhere to sit. As he descended the stairs he took his time, trying to figure out what he wanted from the woman upstairs in his rooms. They had been so close as children, the best of friends, and Ben had known every last thing about Francesca. Now he knew hardly anything about her. He wanted to get an insight into her life, to see the woman she’d become. Of course, he wanted more than that. He’d wanted more from the moment he’d set eyes on her again, but he would have to tread carefully. Francesca was a lady, and a woman with a strong sense of right and wrong to boot. He might want to strip her off and join her on the bed, but he had to be wary of where their relationship might lead them. In a few weeks she would be engaged to be married again and he was under no illusion that at that time he would have to fade into the background.
Quickly he tasked the maid with making some tea, asking for it to be brought up when it was ready. His rooms were part of a small establishment, there were only three other residents. They all shared the services of Hetty, the quiet but efficient maid who cleaned twice a week, showed in visitors and kept the place running smoothly. It was ideal for him, peaceful and discreet with no rules about who could visit. Some of the places he’d looked at had a strictly men-only policy which seemed absurd to him—the freedom to have whichever visitors he chose was one of the reasons he’d moved out from Lady Winston’s house.
Taking the stairs two at a time, he made his way back to his rooms, wondering what exactly he was going to do with Lady Somersham for the eight days he’d asked of her.
* * *
Running her fingers nervously across the back of one of the chairs, Francesca watched the door close behind Ben. Tea would be wonderfully fortifying, and perhaps if she just sat down her legs might stop shaking.
She was under no illusion as to why she was so nervous. Ben hadn’t come out and said the words as such, but she had made discreet enquiries and knew a little about his reputation, and she suspected he had certain ideas about them becoming reacquainted. The idea that their friendship might not be just an emotional one had both thrilled and petrified her. The only man she’d ever been intimate with was her husband. There had been no affairs, no lovers, and towards the end of her marriage—thankfully—hardly any intimacy even with Lord Somersham. Not that she was complaining, her husband had been all about duty. He’d taken his pleasure without a single thought for the woman underneath him.
For her part, she couldn’t believe she was considering having an affair with this man she barely knew—but she was. The past few days, Ben had invaded her every thought and she knew that for once she was going to be reckless. Soon her life would be about duty and responsibility again, but for a few short weeks she was going to enjoy getting to know Ben again. Even if the thought gave her butterflies in her stomach.
Nervously she moved around the room. She felt unsure of herself and a little inadequate. Ben was probably used to women who knew what they were doing in the bedroom, women who knew how to please a man of the world. She knew nothing of the sort; each and every one of her encounters with her late husband had been disappointing, and she knew she was in no position to compete with the women Ben would normally spend his time.
Perhaps she should just show him she understood what they wanted from one another. Of course, she wanted to get to know the man Ben had become, but perhaps she should show him she was ready to become an active participant in a more physical relationship as well?
The idea thrilled her and Francesca felt herself blushing. She wasn’t supposed to be so scandalous, so reckless, but she was beginning to understand the excitement in the eyes of her friends who had conducted affairs over the years. With her mind made up she stepped through to the bedroom.
Quickly she unfastened her dress, pleased she’d chosen a simple grey sack-like thing to wear for ease of undressing. Underneath she wore a chemise and petticoats and a fine pair of stockings to try to combat the icy temperatures. The petticoats she took off, folding everything neatly and placing them on a chair, then she slipped in between the sheets and waited.
Apprehension mixed with excitement. Never before had she done anything so scandalous, anything so ill advised. She’d always been a good girl, doing everything her family had asked of her, everything her husband had commanded her to. Now she was nervous, but making this decision herself felt freeing.
The door opened and from her position she could just see Ben re-enter. At first he didn’t see her, glancing around the sitting room with a frown on his face.
‘Tea will just be...’ He trailed off as he caught sight of her. His eyes widened and immediately Francesca knew she had made a mistake. ‘What are you doing in my bed, Frannie?’ he asked, his voice low. She noticed he hadn’t taken a single step towards her and was holding on to the back of one of the chairs so firmly his knuckles were turning white.
The blush seemed to start at her toes and work its way up her entire body until the skin of her cheeks were burning.
‘I thought...’ she said, trailing off as she realised she couldn’t actually voice what she’d thought.
Slowly, trying not to draw attention to the movement, she pulled the bedsheets a little further up so they touched her chin.
The seconds seemed to stretch into hours as neither of them moved. Then she felt a thrill of excitement and nerves as he moved towards her. Gently he sat down on the bed, making no move to touch her, and for the first time she wondered if she had read the situation wrong. Perhaps he didn’t desire her, perhaps he still thought of her as the ten-year-old girl he’d known all those years ago. Perhaps the gossips had it wrong and he was happily married and faithful to his wife.
‘Frannie,’ he said, his voice strained, ‘you have no idea how much I want to get into that bed with you.’
She waited, wanting to hear exactly what it was that was stopping him.
‘But if I do, then it might jeopardise our chance to get to know one another again.’
‘When you said...’ she started speaking, but couldn’t finish the sentence.
His eyes raked over her and she watched as he swallowed and gripped the sheets as if having to hold himself back. A thrill of excitement travelled through her body as she realised she did this to him.
‘I want you,’ he said, his voice like crushed rock. ‘But I don’t just want your body.’
‘I’m practically engaged...’ Francesca said, wondering if she had led him to believe there could be anything long-term between them.
‘I know that,’ he said, ‘And I will respect your engagement. When it happens. But I don’t just want to tumble into bed with you and then go our separate ways.’
‘What do you want?’ she asked, her fingers edging closer to his. It was hard to resist this man whom she felt she knew so well, but knew was largely a stranger.
‘I want to know you, Frannie. Find out what you’ve been doing these years. See what makes you smile, what makes you cry.’
‘Why?’ she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
‘I’ve missed you. Eighteen years I tried to forget about you and I couldn’t. When I return to Australia in a few months I would like to have some new memories to take with me.’
The mention of his return to Australia pulled Francesca
back from indulging in some romantic but ridiculous fantasy of them riding off into the horizon together. They had eight days—eight days to become reacquainted and make the most of each other before he returned to his life and she moved on to the next stage of hers.
‘I need to get dressed,’ she said, unable to meet his eye.
‘Go ahead.’ He gestured to her clothes on the chair, but did not turn around or make any move to give her some privacy for at least thirty seconds. Then he growled something under his breath and moved out of the bedroom.
Closing her eyes to compose herself, she sat up in bed, letting the bedclothes drop from her chin and feeling her skin prickle under her chemise as the cool air of the room chilled her. She felt a little disappointed that her first foray into the scandalous world of affairs had ended so sedately, but she had to concede Ben was right. It would be good to get to know him, to find out all the things she’d had spent the past eighteen years wondering about. And if she read the look in his eyes correctly, it wouldn’t be long before they had another opportunity to enjoy one another in a more intimate fashion in any case...
* * *
Resting his head against the cool plaster of the wall outside his rooms, Ben took a deep breath to steady himself. Never before had he walked away from a beautiful woman in his bed. Then again, never before had his heart pounded every time he looked at a woman.
Be careful, he cautioned himself. He hardly knew the woman, but he knew himself. This wasn’t how he reacted to a woman, however attractive. He’d never had trouble resisting someone before, never found it hard to move on. It had only been a couple of days since Francesca had waltzed back into his life, but already he was finding it hard to imagine her married to another man while he returned to Australia.
‘You should have kissed her,’ he growled to himself. When he had first seen her in his bed he had wanted nothing more than to tumble her back between the sheets and spend days getting to know her intimately. It had taken all his willpower to resist and even now he was regretting it a little.
