by Kristen Reed
But does he return her affections? Muirigan wondered, the salty air suddenly inspiring nausea rather than refreshment. Why does it matter? I’m no more suitable for Halvard than a pig for a stallion.
“Shall we go change and enjoy the water?” Solveig suggested.
“Yes, I’m sure that’s all Sonja can think about,” Halvard agreed, flashing the maid a smile.
As the men and women parted ways and strolled to their separate bathing machines, Muirigan realized that Lisbet didn’t just ignore her. The lady also failed to acknowledge Liesel during her fawning. Glancing from the demure countess to Lisbet, who strutted several paces ahead with her head held high, Muirigan wondered at her behavior. Was Lisbet too enamored with Halvard to give Liesel a proper welcome or did she simply think of herself as better than them?
Either way, she is gorgeous, Muirigan conceded as she admired the girl’s sapphire dress, which she clearly had run up to flatter her curvy, petite figure and perfectly porcelain complexion. Though Muirigan’s dress was lovelier than anything she owned, anyone with a keen eye for fashion or tailoring could perceive that her dress was borrowed. She was just a pretender. Lisbet actually belonged there.
The three ladies entered the bathing machine to change into their swimsuits. Muirigan emerged third, wearing a swim dress far more cumbersome than the men’s suit hidden in her bag at the palace. As bulky and awkward as the suit was, her annoyance washed away as she stepped into the Nerida Sea. For the next hour, Lisbet stayed mostly to herself, straining in vain to overhear the men’s conversation over the surf’s rhythmic crashing. Alas, with their bathing machines strategically placed dozens of yards apart for propriety’s sake, she could only hear the faint echo of masculine laughter across the beach.
Muirigan, on the other hand, had all but forgotten the handsome young men and spent several minutes swimming with unparalleled glee. However, upon observing Liesel hesitantly wading by herself in the shallowest water while Lisbet persisted in her fruitless eavesdropping, the maid swam back to the bathing machine.
Much to her surprise and delight, Muirigan learned that Liesel didn’t know how to swim! Remembering the techniques her late father employed when she was a girl, Muirigan took it upon herself to give the countess an impromptu swimming lesson. By the time they abandoned the water, Liesel could stay afloat with ease, and laughter was never far from her lips thanks for Muirigan’s fantastical tales about mermaids, pirates, and sea witches.
Though longing filled Muirigan as she stepped into the bathing machine again, she would always carry the happy memories of that afternoon in her heart. Not even witnessing Lisbet’s relentless flirtation when she finished dressing could weigh her down! Halvard arranged for coffee to be served to revitalize the group after their swim, and Muirigan closed her eyes with a grin as she sipped on the potent beverage. The Hansens served coffee for their guests each morning, and inhaling the comforting aroma took her right back to the familiarity of her modest seaside home.
“Liesel tells me that you taught her how to swim,” Halvard said, shocking Muirigan out of her reverie.
“Yes, I did. She’s a very fast learner.”
“And you’re a very patient teacher,” the countess commended.
“Who taught you to swim?” the prince asked.
“My father did. Since he adored the ocean whether he spent the day at the beach or traveled by ship, he wanted me to enjoy the water as much as he did.”
“I can relate to that. I found more peace and conviction being at sea this past year than I ever did on dry land. There’s something about the vast, unknown ocean that reminds a man of his own insignificance, yet it also brings peace. God created the seas and filled their unfathomable depths with nightmarish creatures and unparalleled beauty. Yet he still decided to create us and shows us endless mercy. It makes me feel small but grateful.”
“I agree. The sea is magnificent and terrifying, but it’s also comforting. I’ve often thought of it as my refuge … it felt like home even when I didn’t have one.”
“You didn’t have a home?”
Muirigan looked down at her steaming beverage, realizing that she’d spoken too freely.
“Please don’t be ashamed if you’ve had a difficult past,” Halvard coaxed. “Any ease I have is a gift from God, so I won’t judge you for lacking the fortune that I can’t take credit for earning.”
“Well, I—”
“Are you excited about the ball this weekend,” Lisbet broke in. “We haven’t danced since you returned from the war!”
“Yes,” the prince replied flatly, glancing at the eager lady for a beat before focusing on Muirigan once more. “Please go on, Sonja.”
“I-I did for a time, but it’s hardly worth mentioning. A ball is so much more exciting and makes for better conversation.”
“It certainly does,” Lisbet agreed. “What kind of dances will you have?”
“Be serious,” Solveig scoffed. “Hal doesn’t dance unless forced.”
“Then we should speak with the king and have someone force him,” the lady said with a wink.
“Do you dance, Sonja,” the prince asked.
“No, not really.”
“The two of us are taking lessons,” Liesel expanded.
“Well, you’ll both be better dancers than I am. I haven’t lifted a foot for anything but travel or battle in over a year,” Halvard chuckled.
“That’s because you were fighting to stay alive for so long that you forgot how to live,” Solveig teased.
“And how would you propose that I start living?”
“Stop being so serious! Before the war, you were angry, when it ended you were gloomy, and now you’re suddenly a philosopher.”
“A philosopher?” Lisbet laughed. “Whatever do you mean, brother?”
“All afternoon, Halvard was waxing poetic about the meaning of life and making amends for past mistakes. I told him that life isn’t as complicated as he thinks it is. The past belongs in the past. Just find a diversion and a woman you enjoy, then pursue both until you breathe your last.”
Halvard rolled his eyes as he took a swig of his coffee.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Well, it is to me! I have my horses and sports to keep me busy. If all goes as planned, I’ll have a wife before the year ends.”
“You’ve been saying that for years,” Lisbet said.
With that, the attention shifted from the prince to his pleasure-seeking comrade until the time came for them to depart. Halvard, Liesel, and Muirigan barely said a word on the ride back to the palace. Despite the strong coffee they all enjoyed, the afternoon’s aquatic activities deliciously exhausted everyone in the carriage. However, the trio rallied again in time to dine with the king and queen.
The evening meal was even more delightful than their afternoon excursion. Though Muirigan longed to feel the sand between her toes and the water swirling around her, she didn’t miss Lisbet’s constant flirtation. Solveig wasn’t poor company, but for all his jokes and anecdotes, he certainly didn’t do anything to curb his sister’s blatant enthusiasm for the prince. Muirigan also found his shallow, hedonistic perspective more disturbing than amusing.
Without the dark haired siblings vying for his attention, Halvard took advantage of the opportunity to speak with Muirigan uninterrupted. In his zeal for conversation, the prince accidentally monopolized her attention for most of the meal. Though neither of them noticed how lengthy their conversation was, everyone else at the table regarded their unending discussion with quiet approval. Alas, Halvard still sensed a barrier between them despite their delightful exchange.
Muirigan gleefully spoke about the sea or her work at the inn, and she listened raptly when he spoke about his life and answered her thoughtful questions. However she would suddenly become exceedingly complimentary of the meal or ask about one of his previously discussed interests the instant he tried to delve into her past. The prince normally would have found such evasiveness infur
iating, but his heart ached upon surmising that the maid’s past had been a difficult one. Even with her elusiveness, Halvard admired that she didn’t try to seize his attention or impress him as Lisbet always did.
She was just naturally enthralling.
After supper concluded, Halvard accompanied Muirigan to her room again, citing his slightly exaggerated concerns that she would lose her way in the palace. Having visited and lived at the palace many times during her youth, she hardly needed his assistance, but she welcomed his company and accepted his offer.
“Are you excited for the ball?” he asked.
“Of course. I’m looking forward to the music and the food.”
“I peeked at the song selection and menu a yesterday, and I can say with absolute certainty that you won’t be disappointed.”
“I can’t wait.”
They walked in silence for a moment as Halvard struggled to find the right way to convey what was on his heart. If he didn’t choose his words carefully, he could easily overwhelm Muirigan or make a fool of himself. As they ascended to the second floor, he finally scrounged up the courage and words to continue their conversation. Upon finishing their brief climb, the prince stopped and faced Muirigan.
“I know that your past hasn’t been easy, but you can speak freely about it with me or anyone else in the palace. While I can understand not divulging your secrets to me, Liesel and Ingrid are both accepting, compassionate women. I can personally attest to Ingrid’s kindness because she forgave me for my sins and has treated me far better than most women would. She and Liesel would never judge you nor would I.”
Guilt and shame flooding her conscience, Muirigan looked down at the floor. Though Halvard’s words rang true, she couldn’t bring herself to believe that he or anyone in the palace would truly embrace her. The royals were perfectly comfortable with the façade she wore of a common drudge who lived by the sea, but what would they think of a woman who had fallen in more ways than one?
“I’m sorry for making you uneasy, Your Highness.”
“Trust me, Sonja … That isn’t how you’ve made me feel,” the prince disputed, stepping forward and silently commanding Muirigan to look at him. “Your presence has been refreshing, and I’ve enjoyed every moment we’ve spent together. If I’ve experienced even a hint of discomfort, it’s only because I’ve seen your sadness and have felt powerless to do anything about it.”
“You shouldn’t concern yourself with my feelings.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re a prince and I’m just a maid who—”
“A maid who has survived greater lack than I can imagine without losing her spirit or desire to help others,” Halvard interrupted. “Today was a perfect example of that! Instead of slicing through the water for your own enjoyment, you took the time to teach Liesel how to swim. She was grinning all afternoon and evening, and I know you were the source of her elation.”
Muirigan’s lip quivered as she tried to fight the condemning thoughts churning in her head and sought to invalidate every kind word Halvard spoke of her.
How can he be kind to such a wretch?
Halvard took Muirigan’s hands, inspiring her to lift her gaze at last and see the intensity in his eyes. Her heart leapt and bittersweet memories of the last time they stood that way inundated her mind.
Muirigan had buried her mother that morning, and Halvard approached her after the funeral guests finished paying their respects. The eighteen-year-old prince held her hands and vowed to pray for, write to, and visit her as often as he could. Alas, his parents’ murder in Schlagefilde two months later threw the entire country and his life itself into a disarray. Now, they stood as they had all those years ago—before suicide, poverty, murder, and war ripped their lives apart. Despite his gentleness, all she could think of was that she didn’t deserve the tenderness with which he held her shaking hands and the compassion that filled his blue eyes.
And yet there it was.
Is this a trick, God? Am I a fool for staying here or am I a fool for questioning your plan with every breath I take?
Spurred on by the sudden passion that burned in his heart, Halvard continued.
“You’re a beautiful, courageous, selfless woman, and no fortune can buy those qualities. Please don’t think poorly of yourself because you weren’t born into privilege. I’ve been a prince, a soldier, and a general, but none of those positions made me a good, honorable man. The hardships you’re so ashamed of have made you into the admirable woman you are today. Do you believe that?”
“I can try to,” Muirigan whispered.
“Good,” he grinned, placing her hand in the crook of his arm and continuing the journey to her room. “Now that we’ve straightened that out, I must warn you that there will be grave consequences the next time I hear you degrade yourself. I haven’t decided what they will be yet, but you can rest assured that it will be at least mildly uncomfortable.”
Muirigan chuckled at Halvard’s threat, which he said with a wink and not even a hint of malice in his deep voice.
Once they reached her room, Halvard bid Muirigan adieu and continued on to his. As she watched Halvard stride down the hallway, Muirigan marveled at how much they changed in the past six years. While Muirigan hadn’t been an insufferable child, she certainly held a high opinion of herself and never would have spoken to anyone without wealth or a title. In his youth, Halvard always possessed the pride of a prince with the joyful bravado and carefree nature that came with not being the heir apparent to the Villriketian throne.
Now, the blazing fires of time and tragedy had refined the two by removing the dross of pride and sparking humility and compassion in its place. Muirigan only wished that they hadn’t needed to experience such disheartening depths to learn those valuable virtues.
Chapter 5
The next day, Muirigan roused before breakfast arrived and avoided another awkward encounter with the servant. In fact, she welcomed her with a smile and friendly banter instead of a scowl and a candlestick holder. Rather than dawdling in her room while she waited for lunch, Muirigan crept down to the palace chapel and sat down in a dark corner in the back pew.
With her Bible open, Muirigan alternated between reading and praying in attempt to cast away the dark thoughts that often plagued her by filling her mind with God’s truth. After continuing her diligent devotion for nearly two hours, the maid lifted her head to massage her aching neck and froze upon realizing something.
She wasn’t alone.
An old man wearing the vestments of a priest stood at the altar with his aged eyes fixed on her. Seeing that the object of his curiosity was aware of his presence, the priest smiled. Soft as they were, his footsteps still echoed in the empty chapel as he walked down the aisle to speak with her. When the priest reached Muirigan, he bowed and introduced himself.
“Hello, my lady! My name is Father Ruben. I don’t believe I’ve seen you in here before. Are you new to the faith or to the palace?”
Though Muirigan easily could have lied about her familiarity with the royal home, she felt compelled to be truthful with the priest.
“Neither, Father, but I haven’t been here in years.”
“Then what brings you to the chapel today? I witnessed your fervent reading and praying. I don’t often see that kind of desperation for the Lord during what’s usually a less liturgical time for the palace residents.”
“I’ve been struggling with my past,” she confessed. “I committed some abhorrent sins when I was younger, but time hasn’t lessened the weight of my shame. I would have rejected the prince’s invitation because of it if my guardian hadn’t intervened.”
The priest’s cataract clouded eyes widened in wonder as realization dawned on him.
“You’re the young lady who saved Prince Halvard’s life.”
Muirigan nodded.
“Do you mind sharing with me what you did to inspire such shame?”
The maid fixed her eyes on the stained glass window o
f Christ on the cross, which cast a colorful array of patterns on the floor and pews thanks to the late morning sunlight, and beseeched God for the strength to honestly share her transgressions. After a moment, peace flooded her heart, and she knew she had to tell the whole truth. Even though the Seal of Confession didn’t protect whatever she divulged to the Protestant priest, she suddenly felt like she could trust the old man with her darkest secrets.
“After my parents died, debtors seized everything I owned to settle our accounts. They left me homeless and without an øre to my name. I tried to find employment, but to no avail. Then, I begged on the streets to feed myself, but few people were generous. While I never stole to provide for myself, I sometimes resorted to unthinkable acts to keep from starving.”
“You sold yourself,” he surmised.
Muirigan nodded, a painful tightness growing in her chest.
“Yes, Father.”
“And that’s what you did up until you rescued the prince?”
“No, a sweet couple found me after a nobleman beat me five years ago and took me in.”
Father Ruben leaned forward, his graying eyebrows lowered as he placed his hand on hers.
“Did you have him arrested?”
Muirigan shook her head.
“No, who would have believed my word over his?”
“Has this man assaulted you since then?”
“No, thanks to the Hansens, Lord Torv—he never found me again. Their inn is comfortable and welcoming, but a man of his caliber would never deign to stay there.”
“Good,” he sighed. “Now, I know difficult circumstances forced you down the path you took, but do you regret what you did?”
