When she came back, she looked more concerned and bewildered. “There was nothing in your leg. Maybe it … Well, it wouldn’t make sense.”
She passed the scanner over the rest of him and went back to look at the data.
“I don’t see it,” she said once she had returned. “There’s nothing.” She sat down on the footrest in front of Jax and looked at him like he was an alien object. “An inch above your shin, the blood vessels just sealed themselves. I’ve never even heard of that happening.”
After another moment, looking at him with bewilderment, she went back to checking the rest of his body for injuries.
Jax didn’t ask any more question while they finished covering his wounds. He was still as powerless as he had been in the cage, but now, the people around him were taking care of him instead of trying to kill him.
Would he ever be able to help? He couldn’t even walk. What else was there to do, if he couldn’t help? Go back home, back to his mom, and his dad? Get a metal, robotic prosthetic to carry on with life?
What am I going to say to him? Jax imagined himself standing in front of his dad, each with their own pathetic robotic limbs, and his stomach filled with a sickening dread. Jax could never use a robotic limb like his father had.
Hodge and Grimshaw lifted him and carried him down a hall and into a small, bare room. They laid him on the bed.
“I can’t believe we found you,” Grimshaw said. She grabbed his hand and rubbed it warmly. “You would have frozen, being out there in the cold all night.”
“The people from the arena, the Animalis, they’re looking for me.” Jax let his head sink down onto the thin pillow.
“Then we’ll stay here. You don’t have to worry about anything,” she said through her smile. “You’re safe now.”
Chapter 15
ACTS
The morning light streamed in through Jax’s window. Particles of dust floated serenely in the air with nothing to do and nowhere to be. The heat from the sun warmed the wool blanket on top of his legs.
He thought about getting up, but it seemed even thinking about it made his head pound. All of his muscles were useless, reduced to a body of bones and gelatin. Don’t make me move, don’t make me get out of bed.
A light knock came at the door. Something moved at the foot of the bed. A black furry head perked up, listening to the door.
“Jax? Alright if I come in?”
It was Grimshaw. When he didn’t say anything, the door creaked open and she poked her head it. Her hair was already done, held in place by a colorful headband. She was holding a large glass of water in one hand, and a bowl in the other. When Little Hank saw who it was, he stretched and returned to his sleeping position on the bed.
“Don’t get up,” she said, coming over to him. “I have some borscht for you to eat. It’s the best. Nothing will help you get back on your … feet, uh, faster. And you are going to want to drink this before you start getting a headache.” She set the glass on a nightstand next to the bed.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” Jax said. He struggled to sit up with a grimace. Grimshaw moved to brace his head. “No, I’ve got it. How did you know I’d have a headache?” he asked.
She pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down with him. “A day without water will do that to you.” She waited for him to take a long drink, and then brought the bowl over for him to eat.
Behind her, Jax could see someone peeking into the room from the hall. Their eyes connected for a brief moment with his, then they disappeared with a flash of dark fur. Jax returned his attention to the food in front of him.
It was a bowl of the most horrific red. Deep, thick, coagulated red. Something white floated in the middle of it. He looked at her—was she serious? Was this some sort of traditional Animalis meal? A bowl of, what was it, blood?
“Beets. It looks disgusting, but it really is the best,” she said with a smile.
Little Hank must have smelled the food and came walking up the bed to check it out.
“Is that an eyeball?” Jax poked the white mass with the spoon. The wood sank into it easily, and it began to spread into the redness.
“A dab of sour cream. How are your cuts feeling this morning?” she asked. She stroked Little Hank’s fur, holding him back from Jax’s food.
“I can hardly feel anything, but this headache is a killer.” He mixed the cream around and picked up a scoop of the soup. It was surprisingly good, reminding Jax of his own mother’s creamy potato soup. “Mmm. Er, it’s gerd,” Jax slurred with a mouth full.
“Good. I won’t bother you till it’s time to eat again. Or do you need help getting to the bathroom? I can bring a pan, if that’d make it easier.” She wiped a dribble that had been sliding down his chin and let Little Hank lick her finger.
“No. Just tell me where it is. I’ll be able to make it there.” He wasn’t sure he could, but the last thing he wanted was for Grimshaw to carry him there like a baby again.
“Alright. It’s at the end of the hall to the left. Really, I’m here if you need any help.”
“How long are we staying here?” Jax sank back into the bed.
“We can stay for as long as it takes for you to recover, at the pleasure of the ACTS: Animalis Community of Thewy Saints. They own this complex. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your rest.”
“Thewy?” Jax stopped before putting another bite in his mouth. He moved to lift the bowl out of Little Hank’s reach.
“Yeah, It’s a bit obscure. It means to have muscular, or mortal strength. It doesn’t mean a lot to us, but here in their community it’s like an anthem. It reminds them that they have the strength to protect themselves and the ones they love. But it also makes their acronym ACTS. Like ‘Acts of the Apostles.’ Have you ever read the Bible?” She held the door. Little Hank gave up on the bowl and trotted to the door beside Grimshaw.
“No. Are they going to make us read it, in return for letting us stay here? Is there such a thing as a religious Animalis? I mean, do they even have souls?” Jax wanted to laugh, but the headache stopped him.
She held the door, ready to walk away, but hesitated. “They do a lot here …” she said. “It’s … important work …” When she looked at him, her eyes moved over his face like she was searching for something. “… helping the Animalis.” She paused for another moment, smiled, and closed the door behind her.
When she was gone, Jax took another drink of water and eased back down under the covers. The borscht would have to wait. It was more exhausting than he wanted to let Grimshaw know, sitting there, trying to make her think that he didn’t need her help.
He closed his eyes. The bed was warm. His stomach was warm from the borscht. There was no tattered rag or frozen concrete floor to hold him prisoner. No agonizing screams from victims to listen to.
Jax opened his eyes; he did need to go to the bathroom. Maybe it could wait? Nope, another surge rushed over him. He had to go.
He pulled the covers back and moved his legs to hang over the side of the bed. There it was. One good, healthy, normal leg, and one that ended in the middle of his shin. The foot, ankle, and just over half the shin were gone. He rubbed his hand over the bandaged end and winced at the tenderness. The numbness from the day before had been replaced with hypersensitivity.
He pushed himself up and balanced against the wall. It’s just walking, Jax told himself, the easiest thing in the world. He stood, breathing slowly, feeling his heart throb in his head, watching the crack of light under the old hinge-style door.
But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t even move to the ground without falling over. Trapped in the most normal human position, standing. The leg beneath him began to tremble, shaking under his weight.
Help, Jax wanted to whimper. I can’t do it. Tears swelled up in his eyes, blurring the floor in front of him. He could feel a sick fear taking over his mind.
Finally, the urge to pee pushed his thoughts past his fear of falling, and he cre
pt down the wall with his hands. There was a small thud as he landed on the ground.
Jax got back up on his hands and knee and crawled to the door. Please don’t let anyone see, he pleaded.
The door let out a creak. Jax glanced down the hall before starting his crawl to the bathroom. Last one to the left. He crawled to it and pulled the handle.
“Excuse me. Just one more minute, please. Oh, Jax, out of bed already?” Jax had swung the door wide open with Hodge still sitting on the toilet.
“Oh, sorry, Hodge. I—Sorry.” Jax tried feebly to reach the handle again to close the door.
“Don’t worry about it, Jax. Turn around for a second. I’m just about done.”
Jax turned around in embarrassment. Didn’t they have a yard or something for Animalis to go to the bathroom in?
“You mind locking the door next time, buddy?” Jax wanted to scold him. Not for the door, or for making him embarrassed, but for … He couldn’t put a finger on it. He heard the sound of flushing.
“The door doesn’t lock, unfortunately.” Hodge began washing his hands. “I’m glad to have some company. I don’t understand the human need to be alone in the bathroom. It’s great spending some time in a place like this. So many other people around.”
Jax didn’t really have anything to say. The headache was enough to think about, and now a cold sweat was emerging from his exertion.
Without asking, Hodge scooped Jax up under his armpits and brought him to the toilet.
“Don’t. Hodge, put me down!” Jax said. He wanted to struggle more, to thrash so hard that Hodge couldn’t hold him, but he needed the help, and that need was a stab in his heart.
“I have to help when there needs to be help. That’s what I can do.” Hodge was just as peppy as usual. “Myself, or others. And I wouldn’t want to be alone, just helping myself.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes it makes people uncomfortable when you try and help, Hodge.” Jax waited, sitting on the toilet with his pants on. Hodge started to close the door.
“Thanks for coming back, Jax,” Hodge said and closed the door. Jax could still hear him speaking outside for a moment. “I think he likes me. I hope so. Hurley …” And he walked away from the door.
——
Jax spent the rest of the day lying in bed. He didn’t finish the food and water Grimshaw had brought to him, knowing that it would only force him to make the humiliating journey to the bathroom again.
While he was awake, he stared up at the white ceiling, trying to make his thoughts as blank as its surface until he slept again.
Grimshaw came in the evening with more food. She knocked on his door but he pretended to be asleep. The door opened and he heard bare feet cross the floor. The food gave off a potent, warm smell. Against his will, his stomach rumbled and his mouth began to salivate. She placed it on the nightstand and took away the half-eaten borscht.
“Do you need anything?” Her voice was soft.
Jax held still, waiting for her to leave. When he finally heard the patter of her feet leaving, he almost called out “Don’t leave me,” but he held it back, pushing it into a hollow hole forming inside himself.
When he was alone, he ate the food. The torment came again in the middle of the night, when he had to struggle to crawl silently to the bathroom again.
The next day, he avoided talking to Grimshaw. When she brought food, he turned his head away from the door and pretended to be asleep.
By noon, he was ready to explode. His body itched and ached from staying in one position, and his mind was going insane. He was out of the arena, free to go back to normal life. They hadn’t even told Hank he was alive yet. The captain didn’t know. Grimshaw had promised to wait until Jax was ready before she told either of them that Jax had been found. But he didn’t feel like he would ever be ready. When they found out his leg had been taken, would it be enough for them to send him home? The leg would be enough. He wouldn’t have to tell them he couldn’t even kill the bear when he had the knife pressed to its throat. They had to discharge him from the army. He was useless to everyone if he couldn’t kill to save his own life.
And when he thought of being discharged, like his father had been, he turned his face against his pillow and cried, or screamed, or bit it, furious at his weakness.
Jax found a Bible in a drawer on the nightstand and he started flipping through it. At the back, he found a touch screen attached to the back cover, containing references and a search function. He considered typing in “thewy”, to see how it was used in the Bible, but he noticed a small mail icon at the top of the screen with:
1 unread message
Jax tapped on the note and a password box came up. He quickly typed in thewy and the message appeared:
11/2/2091 – 4:00 a.m. - Meet to plan the rescue. What weapons will be needed in case of a conflict, etc.
The date was for tomorrow.
Jax read the note again. He set the Bible back in the nightstand and lay back in bed.
Grimshaw brought him another meal later in the evening. When he heard the soft knock on the door, he closed his eyes and turned his head away from the door.
“Hodge is working on a surprise for you,” she said in her polite whisper, not wanting to wake him if he really was asleep. “It’s cute to see him so interested in someone. The impression I get is that you’re pretty fascinating to him.”
She sat down on the side of his bed. Somewhere outside the room, Jax could hear shouts and shrill little voices.
“Oh, yeah, there’s a little courtyard out there.” She moved to the window and looked out. “There are so many Animalis children that live here and that courtyard is the one place they get to be outside. They play a ball game in it whenever they have a break. They’re crazy about it.”
Her voice stayed by the window. “They’re not allowed to have children in this city. Humans haven’t been able to make it illegal yet, but they still enforce it like it is. There are so many laws that stop the Animalis from doing normal things. Like, they’re not allowed to use printers, so they sew up their clothes when they start getting holes.”
Jax cracked his eyelids and watched her for a moment as she gazed out the window.
“They’re going to have a meeting tomorrow. They didn’t want me to tell you about it. It’s hard for them to trust any humans. But I trust you, Jax.”
She walked back to the door.
“Get some more good sleep tonight,” she said, and closed the door.
——
Jax woke early in the morning with the stub of his leg throbbing. He had been trying to pilot the simulator pod on the border patrol plane in his dream. The graphic of the pod kept pulling to the left, bringing the pod into collision vectors with a space station. When the pod was about to crash, Jax reversed the dream to where the pod was still safe. But he still couldn’t control the pod. Then the bear was gnawing on his leg inside the pod. The captain was watching, testing him; the bear was part of the test. He found himself back in his old house, his mother bringing him plate after plate of food. He wanted to get up, but both of his legs were gone, and his body had swollen with obesity.
It was still dark. Jax pulled the covers back and felt his leg. It stung under his touch. There was something different about it. He unwrapped the bandage and brushed his hand over the tip. The ragged skin flaked off easily, and the rough edge of the bone had been covered in something. He’d check it again in the light of the morning; he couldn’t tell what it was in the dark.
He slid off the bed and started prepping his weak body for a workout.
After a warm up set of push-ups and sit-ups that made his skin break into a cold sweat and his stomach ache with nausea, he started to work his good leg. One-legged squats. There was a loud creak from the wooden floor when Jax lost balance at the bottom of the squat and fell. Maybe balance first. He waited, sitting on the floor in the dark, listening to see if he had woken anyone. Nothing. He got back up on his foot to continue.
Th
e weight of his body had thrown off the muscle memory that had always kept him upright. His right side was lighter now. The muscles in his hips and buttocks would have to increase in strength to hold the dangling leg in good posture.
Jax stood staring at the frame of a picture that hung on a wall. The skin over his ribs expanded and contracted. His heartbeat shook his body. Ba-bum. The frame of the picture bounced in his vision from the movement.
He didn’t want to keep struggling to stand. He didn’t want to lay down and give up. He didn’t want to keep fighting in this confusing conflict with the Animalis. He didn’t want to be sent home to live a life that didn’t make a difference.
More push-ups. Sit-ups. More than anything, he didn’t want to be powerless. Keep the body occupied until the thoughts go away. Let them drift away like the particles of dust in the air.
The floor creaked outside his room. A light came in through the slit at the bottom. There was a light tap, and the door squeaked open.
“Jax?” Grimshaw asked. She stepped in quietly and held a small hand lamp to light her path. Her eyes were wide awake, her hair was done, and she was ready for the day. “You’re up? Did you fall out of bed?”
Jax had stopped at the top of a sit-up. He dropped his hands away from his head and started to get up.
“No. I’m fine. You’re up early,” he said and turned around to straighten the blanket on his bed.
The light of her hand lamp pulled his shadow down onto the bed. Her hand touched lightly on his back. His muscles tensed.
“I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now, Jax. The arena is one of the things I despise most in this world. The Animalis, turning themselves into demons, forcing everything around them to sink down with them.” She reached down and helped pull the bottom corner of the blanket straight.
“Hurley,” Jax said. With a quick turn, he caught her wrist and held it while he whispered to her. “What are they planning to rescue? Imprisoned militants?”
Her eyes went wide. “No, Jax, never.”
Animalis Page 17
