Then the full enormity of what his mother had done dawned on him.
Had she really sent a virgin all the way here from the Highlands, alone?
He ducked his head back into the carriage and stared at Ailise’s pale, trembling face. “Are you well, Ailise?”
She rubbed her stomach. “I have been a little off my food since the journey b-began.”
“Where is your maid?”
“She became ill, part-way here.”
“Ill? How ill?” Since when did a maid desert her lady, especially a lady of Ailise’s tender years?
“She ate some bad salmon. I-I didn’t…I was already feeling unwell from the carriage.”
James compressed his lips. “Why didn’t you wait for her to recover?”
“Douglas told the driver that my arrival here mustn’t be delayed, for any reason, or-or there would be grave consequences for him.” Her mouth had begun to quiver so hard she clamped it shut.
“Where the devil is the baggage cart? Surely there are other servants?”
“Mama said I wouldn’t need extra baggage. She said none of my clothes would be suitable for London fashions in any case. Douglas didn’t want the expense.”
His half-brother, Douglas Carr, the Earl of Fisher. A man of disgustingly cheeseparing habits except, of course, those that related to the gaming tables or expensive whores.
“Where did you stay at night?”
“Inns.”
“By yourself?”
“The driver, he stayed right outside my door, just as Douglas instructed.”
“How could your brother let you travel alone but for one servant?”
She rubbed her hands up and down the pale gray velvet of her pelisse. “Are you…very angry?” Her voice fell on the last words.
“Not at you, Ailise. Come.” He offered her his hand.
She stared, eyes large, but didn’t move.
Oh, damnation.
Was the girl truly all right?
He remembered his mother complaining about Ailise’s shyness and how she seemed to get more timid as she grew. He frowned then left the carriage.
Catriona waited outside, the sunlight glittering on the green stones in her hair comb. In the stark light, they looked exactly like paste jewels.
He handed her the wadded letter.
Her brow furrowed, but she took it and smoothed out the paper, then read the note. Her forehead wrinkled even deeper.
“She’s only sixteen. What the devil was my mother thinking?” he muttered, then waved his hand toward the carriage. “They have sent her alone.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Not even a maid?”
“She said the woman became ill and had to be left behind part-way here.”
He reached for Catriona’s hand. “She’s terrified. She won’t leave the vehicle.”
“Oh,” Catriona said. She handed him the letter then hurried to the carriage. For long moments, he heard her speaking softly.
Eventually, Ailise emerged from the carriage, moving slowly and glancing all around as she did. James wondered what the devil had happened to make her so skittish.
****
Sunny tried to be patient whilst Ailise stood in the kitchen by the hipbath. The water had begun to steam far less as it cooled, and still the girl refused to remove her shift.
“Please, Ailise, you haven’t many clothes with you. They must all be laundered before we begin our journey south,” Sunny said with a smile.
In the mirror, the girl stared back at her with eyes that were unnervingly like James’, except that, instead of his determination, Ailise’s eyes were haunted. Fearful.
Intending to reassure her, Sunny reached and patted the girl’s back.
Ailise flinched and jerked away.
Sunny froze.
Color rose in the girl’s cheeks and she looked down, biting her lip.
“Wha…” Sunny swallowed, hard, the truth slowly dawning. “What happened?”
Ailise shook her head. “Do no’ tell. Please do no’ tell!”
“You didn’t want to come here, did you?”
“Oh, no, I did not.” She raised a stricken expression to Sunny. “I did no’ want to leave Annabel.”
“Annabel—is that your cousin?” Sunny asked. She had no idea how many half-cousins James had stashed away in the highlands.
“She is my cat. She is very old.”
“I see.”
“And I-I did no’ want to leave Flora.” She pressed her lips together and her throat worked rapidly. “She is the cook’s granddaughter. Mama and Douglas say that I should no’ be friendly with a servant. But she is my only friend in the whole wide world.”
“Sometimes it does seem a servant is the only one to offer a sympathetic ear,” Sunny said.
Ailise’s expression warmed. “You understand.”
“Yes. I understand.” Sunny swallowed back a burning sensation in her throat. “But what happened?”
“I did no’ want to leave. But Douglas said I must. He said I-I had to come in cousin Aggie’s place and do my very best to pla-placate the two of you. To be a satisfactory companion. He said, if James were to become unhappy, he might stop sending money to Mama.”
“Douglas persuaded you?” Sunny said gently.
Ailise nodded.
A terrible silence fell between them.
“May I keep my shift on?” Ailise said at length.
Sunny nodded again, unable to speak. She held out her arms, not really expecting the gesture to be accepted. But to her surprise, the girl flung herself into them.
Tears scalded Sunny’s cheeks.
****
Almost a full month later, James stared out the window, watching the countryside roll by. The fresh air did little to ease the stench.
The sound of retching echoed in the carriage interior. He glanced away from the window to where Catriona sat, holding a china chamber pot under Ailise’s head and patting the girl on the back whilst murmuring words of comfort.
Thank God for Catriona. He would have been all out to sea on how to handle the shy, anxious chit. And his half-sister did not trust him. He thought she tried to hide her dismay. But her eyes enlarged every time he came into the room, and, whilst she grew increasingly animated in Catriona’s company, chattering like any girl should, she went immediately quiet and stammering whenever he was near.
All of which he supposed was normal for a girl with a brother like Douglas.
Catriona looked up and he saw her strained expression. Again he cursed his mother.
Catriona was in no condition to handle Ailise. She had just been recovering from her dependence on opiates. From the experiences she had gone through since Freddy’s death.
“James.” Catriona’s voice was soft, but there was an edge to her words.
He tamped down his impatience. “Yes, I know, we must stop. I have already signaled for them to stop at the next inn.” He nodded at his half-sister. “You were too preoccupied to notice.”
He frowned.
It was unnerving to have a young girl with them. Ailise was prone to carriage sickness and fainting spells.
Devil take his mother!
“How much longer?” Catriona asked, the strain in her tone tearing at his conscience.
“Another half hour at most.”
Damn, damn, damn.
There had been nothing but delays for the past month. The night Ailise had come to them and Catriona had told him the terrible truth, he had summoned the doctor from Brownwood. Their journey had been delayed for a week to allow Ailise to heal from her bruises. During that time, Catriona had gone through the pain of her courses, further delaying their travels.
Then, once on the road, rain had further slowed their progress. Today the rain had cleared. They had been making excellent time. And Ailise had been doing better. But then they had hit a rocky patch of road that lasted a half hour too long. The poor girl had valiantly fought the nausea, but the motion of the carriage had overcome her
. From what he had seen of the girl over the past month, he knew that Ailise would not recover soon. She would need to eat a bland meal and sleep for several hours.
The thought of what he was putting her through at her tender age ate into his conscience.
Yes, he was used to driving boys her age to work until they were ready to drop, to climb the rigging in high winds and perform any other duty required of them at sea.
However, he certainly couldn’t expect a gently bred girl to continue on in such a state.
Resigned to all the inconvenience, he crossed his arms over his chest and sat back.
How easily Catriona took to mothering the adolescent girl, facing each of the seemingly endless days with a bottomless well of sympathy and cheerful energy.
She reminded him of the girl she had once been, only now possessed of a calm maturity he had not expected from her.
She deserves a husband and children of her own.
The unbidden thought angered him.
I don’t even know if she can have any children of her own.
Well, with any luck, her examination by his doctor in London would put an end to that question.
And if he says that she can have children, will you let her go?
He took an uneasy breath. She would make a man an excellent wife.
A man of lesser position in life, one could accept a wife with her peculiar failings. He should let her go. He should allow her to find a husband in London. The nagging guilt ate at him. But he couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go.
He could not allow himself to ruin her. He would have to keep his hands off her.
At least until the next time they might steal away to the country.
Could Catriona be satisfied with such an arrangement?
God, he hoped so. He wanted no unpleasantness between them, no tests of the limits of his affection for her.
****
James approached the innkeeper’s desk, glancing about at the cracking walls and timeworn furniture. The place was clearly third-rate. Under normal circumstances, he would not have chosen it. But his hand had been forced. He led Catriona and his sister to a wooden bench, then went to the clerk and requested two chambers. One for himself and one for the two women.
He glanced around at the company assembled in the main chamber. They were nearing London. He might be recognized.
He supposed having his late cousin’s wife as a chaperon to his young half-sister was a viable cover for traveling in the company of his mistress. He would have preferred to have had the matronly Aggie chaperoning Catriona, but, then, he supposed he was simply being overcautious.
Catriona seemed quite young to him. Relatively untried. Certainly unschooled in the bedchamber. In life.
But she was twenty-six years old. If she had remained unwed rather than being a widow, he knew many would consider her on the shelf. If she had borne Freddy children, she would be a matron herself.
She made a suitable chaperon.
No one would bat an eyelash over the issue.
He was simply letting the enforced idleness of carriage travel make him fixate on details.
After settling Catriona and Ailise in their chamber, he went to his own and lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
The time was drawing very close to the investiture ceremony that would make him the Earl of Greythorn. Dangerously close. He needed to prepare, and he hated having to do anything at the last minute; and for the main, he never did—certainly not if he could help it. How had he allowed himself to spend so much time away from his life, his business concerns?
He had been caught in a dream, so enamored of Catriona that he’d been out of his mind, not himself. However, with each mile that they drew nearer to London, his thoughts and perspective became clearer and clearer. He saw more than ever the power that Catriona held over his emotions. He saw that he would have to take firm control of the terms of their liaison, or else he would lose all control over his own life. He would lose all ability to enact his intended destiny.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Later that night, James awoke to a soft knocking at his chamber door. Moonlight streamed in through the slight part his curtains, telling him that the hour was late. He jerked his banyan over his nakedness, then went and unbolted the lock and flung the door open.
Catriona stared, her beautiful oval face, upturned toward his. Her large green eyes glittering in the faint light.
He took her by the shoulders, the soft velvet of her wrapper crushing lushly under his hands. He pulled her into his chamber. Then he gave a quick glance into the deserted corridor before shutting the door and facing her.
Her full red mouth was parted slightly, her eyes had gone wide. He forced down the impulse to kiss her until she was senseless and he gave her a gentle shake. “What the devil are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“We’re too close to London now. We cannot take risks like this.” He frowned. “You’ve left Ailise alone?”
“She is sleeping soundly and the two maids are with her.”
“Those maids are new to us and have not yet earned our trust. I don’t like the idea of Ailise being alone in a place like this. Nor did he like the idea of them gossiping about how their mistress had stolen away in the middle of the night.”
He had intended to send her back to her chamber but instead he buried his face into the curve of her shoulder. Her feminine scent filled his senses. He longed to put his open mouth to her neck and taste the salty-sweetness of her flesh.
His cock had become rock-hard, throbbing painfully.
“I think the maids are trustworthy. They seem like good, sensible women.” The breathlessness in her voice caused his cock to jerk.
“You trust everyone.”
“You seem to trust no one.”
Her strained, slightly hurt tone caused a smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. His rising arousal made it difficult to remain vexed with her. It made it difficult to think clearly at all. He had abstained from carnal contact with her for all the days of this trip. Neither of them had found it easy to become accustomed to the sudden ceasing of their bedchamber activities.
“It isn’t easy to forget the lessons of a lifetime,” he replied. “I suppose between our two extremes, the truth can be found. The maids are likely of moderate sense and trustworthiness, and the girl is worn out from her travails and is, as you say, sleeping deeply. Perhaps a moment or two of indiscretion between you and me will not hurt.”
She went stiff as boards beneath his touch. “I think after such a chilly reception, I’d like to leave.”
How could she possibly call his reception chilly? He was bone hard for her. He tightened his hold on her shoulders. “Oh no you don’t.” He pressed his pelvis to hers, letting her feel what she did to him. “You won’t get away with being such a brazen little tease.”
At the edge in James’ voice and the throb of his cock against her belly, Sunny shivered.. He’d been growing ever more distant since Ailise’s arrival. Distant in more ways than simply withholding his sexual demands. He was growing terse, preoccupied with their impending arrival in London. She was beginning to see that she had not come to know him as well as she had imagined.
He was a busy, important nobleman. She mustn’t fault him.
Her heart broke a little more and she barely stifled a sob as his open mouth covered hers. He would never truly be hers...he never had been hers. He a scorched kisses along her neck. He grasped her buttocks. She fisted his banyan, meaning to push him away, but when he ground his erection against her mons, her mind muddled.
Distant chatter and occasional loud bang or raucous laughter from the taproom below stairs filled silence as he held her.
“You’re a very naughty girl, Cat.”
If this was all that could be between them, she would take it. “I told you, I can be very wicked.”
“No, not wicked, naughty. Oh so naughty.” He pulled her up, lifting her off her feet
a bit. “What should I do with such a naughty girl?” An edge in his hushed tone sent shivers through her. She needed this, needed him. He was like rich sweetmeats. Like a drug in her blood.
“Maybe you should allow me to run back to my own chamber after all?” She attempted to take a step back, knowing full well he wouldn’t let her go.
“I don’t think so.” He held her fast. “Don’t move.”
His stern tone weakened her knees. She found herself frozen there took hold of the edges of her wrapper then stripped it off her and let it fall in a dark pool around her feet. He grasped her shoulders again. “You knew better than to come here, didn’t you?”
She swallowed against an increasingly dry throat and knew he could feel her trembling. It was daunting and thrilling all at once. But she wasn’t going to answer that question.
Without releasing her shoulders, he propelled them both to the bedside.
Her heart leapt into her throat when he sat on the bed and pulled her down.
Off her balance, she grasped his thighs, feeling the powerful muscles.
But he was arranging her weight, shifting her to suit his purposes.
He stroked her bottom through her thick flannel nightdress. “You didn’t answer me.”
“I-I didn’t think it was forbidden that I should come here.”
“If I want your presence in my bed, I would tell you to come here. Or I would come to you. These things are not your decision.”
He pulled her nightgown up to her waist. The air chilled her bare skin. He ran a caress over her exposed flesh. “God, you have a lovely arse.”
The emotion that resounded in his voice sent a thrill into her bones. Sent a heat sparking into her blood. She had wondered if his desire for her had begun to wane. But hearing the passion in his tone, feeling his cock throb beneath her, she could no longer cling to those doubts.
“You are my mistress. You must learn to wait on my commands, my wants. Do you understand your position in my life?”
Her throat burned with her sudden hurt at his words. They weren’t exactly playing now, not completely. He was serious, telling her the truth of how he saw things.
The Delicate Matter of Lady Blayne (Intimate Secrets Book 1) Page 35
