by M. Leighton
“Okay,” I say, turning to leave.
“Again, sir, I apologize for the confusion.”
“Just don’t let it happen again. Kennedy is…she’s…she’s different. She’s not like the others. And I don’t want her treated like she is.”
Karesh nods. “Yes, sir. Duly noted.”
I make my way back to Kennedy, still fuming that she’s in a different room. I stop by the crew kitchen to take a bottled water from the refrigerator. When I walk back into her cabin, it’s empty.
I go back out into the hall, my testy temper flaring again as I contemplate where she might’ve gone. Even sick she’s trying to get away from me!
But then I hear the door to one of the hall bathrooms open. I turn around just as Kennedy staggers out, nearly losing her balance as the ship dips. She leans up against the wall and closes her eyes, her face turning a pale shade of green.
“What the hell are you doing up?”
“I thought I was going to be sick again, but there’s nothing left in my stomach. Just dry heaves.”
I stuff the bottle of water in one jacket pocket and the pills in the other before I bend and sweep Kennedy up into my arms. I turn back toward her room, but I pause there, imagining her getting up and possibly falling on her way to the bathroom again. For that reason alone, I bypass it.
“Where are you going? That was my room?”
“Not tonight, it isn’t.”
“Reese, put me down. I can walk. And I can stay in my room.”
“I’m sure you can,” I say, tightening my grip on her.
“Reese, I’m serious. I don’t need special treatment. I don’t want it. I know why you’re doing this and it won’t work. I’m not going to sleep with you.”
I stop in my tracks and look down into the now-dull pools of Kennedy’s green eyes. “I’m not doing this so you’ll sleep with me. But I’m not going to leave you down here when you’re sick. Can’t you just let me take care of you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m your employee. You wouldn’t do this for the others, so I don’t want you doing it for me.”
I want to squeeze her and shake her and kiss her all at once. “You’re more than just an employee to me, Kennedy. You’re just going to have to get used to that.”
“I’m sure Amber was at some point, too, wasn’t she?”
The ship lurches again. Out of habit, I brace my legs to steady myself. Kennedy turns her face into my chest and makes a gurgling sound. I hate seeing her this way. And I hate that she doesn’t want me to take care of her. But I hate it even more that she thinks she means the same thing to me that Amber does. Or ever did.
I pull her in closer and carry her in silence to other end of the yacht. I know she would never agree to stay in my room for the night, so I stop just short of my door, at the empty stateroom beside mine. Karesh knows that when I’m onboard, that room is to stay empty. I don’t like having anyone sleeping beside me. Not even the women I’m having sex with.
But tonight I can make an exception. For Kennedy. Because I want her close. For her comfort and mine. I want to be able to keep an eye on her.
I open the door and carry her to the bed, laying her gently on the cream colored duvet. Immediately, she turns onto her side, curling into the fetal position.
“Here,” I say, taking the water and pills from my pockets. “These should help.”
I unscrew the cap on the water and punch one pill through the silver packet before handing them both to her. She takes them, pops the pill in her mouth and chases it with a gulp of water. She shivers and hands me the bottle. “Thank you.”
“You should be feeling better soon.”
I set the water on the bedside table. Neither of us says anything for a few minutes.
“You don’t have to stay, Reese. I’ll be fine.”
“I won’t leave until I know you’re okay.”
“I’m already okay. I’m just a little seasick.”
“Regardless, I’m staying.”
I hear her sigh, but she doesn’t argue. I walk to the chair that occupies one corner and I sit down, watching Kennedy’s face slowly relax as her breathing deepens. I feel helpless, but I know I’ve done the only thing that can be done for motion sickness. She’s right. I really could probably leave and she’d be fine. The problem is that I don’t want to. And for me, that really is a problem.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR- Kennedy
I feel drugged when I crack my eyelids to look around. Something is shaking my shoulder. Gently.
It’s Reese, speaking to me, urging me to take another pill with a sip of water. Dizzily, I comply and then lay my head back down. Sleep comes quickly.
Some unknown amount of time later, I stir again, groggy and confused. I see Reese watching me from the chair. A million things go through my head and through my heart, but I don’t want to think about any of them. I don’t have the energy.
Comforted that I’m being cared for, that Reese is close and not upstairs or down the hall with Amber, I relax and go right back to sleep.
********
I’m awake again. I don’t know how much time has passed. My head feels heavy and my vision is fuzzy, but at least the room seems a bit more stable. That or my stomach has learned not to care.
I know exactly where I am. And that the chair Reese was sitting in when I drifted off the last time is now empty. I’m both relieved and disappointed, if that’s even possible. He said he’d stay. I’m relieved that he didn’t because it’s totally humiliating to have anyone see me this way, much less someone I’m trying to remind that I’m stronger than he might recall. But at the same time, I’m disappointed. His quick retreat simply tells me that Reese is every bit the liar that I’ve always known him to be, and that he doesn’t even care enough about me to tell me the truth when I’m sick, much less when I’m well.
I reach for the bottle of water, taking a big swig to rinse my mouth before swallowing. Then gingerly, taking great care to move slowly in case that horrific nausea hasn’t completely abated, I roll onto my back. I can’t help but notice how much more plush and comfortable this mattress is when compared to the ones in the crew cabins. And how much warmer.
In the blink of an eye, I realize that the toasty temperature doesn’t arise from beneath me, but from beside me. I turn my head just enough to see that Reese is lying to my right, his breath tickling my cheek and his body heat radiating toward me like a furnace. As much as I try to steel myself against the pleasure of finding him here, it’s useless. My heart melts a little anyway.
He stayed.
Just like he said he would.
His eyes are closed and his breathing is deep and even. Normally those aqua orbs feel like my undoing. I can’t risk looking at him for very long. But now, with Reese relaxed in sleep, I can study him as much as I want.
And I want.
He looks more like the boy I used to know when he’s like this. Softer. Sweeter. Falling in love with nineteen year old Reese was effortless. On top of being drop dead gorgeous, even if in a more boyish way, he was strong and smart and funny, and he treated me like I wasn’t the adopted foster child of the help. For those few weeks that summer so long ago, I was just a girl and he was just a boy. Two people who met in the woods to escape their respective worlds and find solace in each other’s company then, eventually, in each other’s arms.
I inch my way a little closer to Reese’s warmth and close my eyes, letting my mind wander back to the last time I saw him in childhood. Back when I didn’t know that there was no one I could trust.
********
Summer, 14 years ago
I push back the last pine limb that hangs between me and the clearing, catching and holding my breath as I move it. It leaves my lungs in a long hiss like a deflated balloon when I see that the meadow before me is empty. The lush, dappled grass is here. The tiny purple flowers are here. The heavenly quiet is even here. Everything is as it should be, only I�
�m alone. There is no Reese awaiting me.
I step into the opening, biting my trembling lip as I remind myself that I knew there was a chance he wouldn’t show. I knew Reese’s father was here and I knew he was afraid of what that meant for him and his future, but he promised me that he’d come, that nothing and no one would keep him from me. And I believed him.
Dejected, I walk around the little hidden clearing, mourning each tiny flower that I crush under my foot. Each one feels like a broken dream, a broken promise. A broken heart.
The snap of a twig draws my attention. I cock my head to listen. No one has ever accidentally stumbled upon this haven before. I say a silent prayer that this won’t be the first time.
Another twig snaps and I hear the rustle of leaves crunching and limbs moving. Someone is definitely coming.
I hold my breath and watch in the general direction from which the sound seems to arise. My heart is a swollen ball inside my chest, filled with the sudden hope that it might still be Reese.
And then he steps into the meadow, the sun sparkling in the dark golden highlights of his hair, streaks that he’s earned while working outdoors here at Bellano with his uncle. His stunning blue-green eyes crinkle at the edges when he smiles at me and, as always, my heart melts.
“You came,” he says simply.
“I told you I would. I thought maybe you…”
Reese’s footsteps are muted by the thick grass as he crosses the tiny field to me. “I told you nothing would keep me from you.”
“I know you did, but I knew your dad was here.”
“He still hasn’t arrived. Malcolm says he’s supposed to be getting in this afternoon.”
“So this might be our last day together?” I feel panic clawing at my chest. Reese is the one thing that I look forward to every day, the one saving grace this life has for me. Without him, the world is an ocean of despair intent on drowning me. He’s like my life preserver, the one thing I can cling to that doesn’t threaten to drag me under.
“No. Kennedy, I told you—”
“I know what you told me, but I’m just so afraid…”
“Don’t be. He can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do. And I told you that if I leave here, I’m taking you with me.”
“But it’ll be three more years before I can leave with you. Hank would never let me go before I’m eighteen.”
“Then I’ll make him.”
We both know that as powerful as Reese’s family name is, there is no way he could make Hank give me up. Even Reese can’t save me from some things. But I don’t even want to think about that right now. I give Reese my bravest smile and nod, unwilling to waste one more minute on such an unpleasant topic.
Suddenly, I feel frantic. I feel an urgency, a soul-deep need to share everything I can with Reese now, before life swallows up the last bit of happiness that I have.
“Reese, there’s something I want to give you today.”
“What’s that?” he asks, brushing my bangs out of my eyes as he so often does.
I don’t answer him. I just look up into the eyes that I’ve come to love so much and I pour out my heart.
He watches me for several long seconds, waiting for me to answer. When I don’t, his smile slowly dies and he reaches up to cup my face. I know the instant he realizes what I mean. His eyes darken and take on a sort of…hungry look that makes my stomach feel like liquid fire.
“Are you sure?” he whispers hesitantly, as though he’s nearly afraid of what my answer might be.
“Yes.”
He bends his head, his lips brushing mine in a kiss so tender it makes me want to cry. When he starts to pull away, I rise up on my tiptoes and press my mouth harder onto his, winding my arms around his neck and holding on tight.
Reese slips his tongue between my lips and I lean into him, molding my young body to his bigger, firmer one. His broad palms skate down my sides, leaving a chill in their wake. Suddenly, I can’t get close enough. I can’t warm enough. I can’t get enough of Reese.
With trembling, frenzied fingers, I reach for the hem of his shirt and slide my hands underneath, reveling in the hot smooth skin of his rock hard abdomen and muscular chest. Reese moans and moves his hands around to my butt, pulling my hips into his, thrilling me with the rigid bulge there.
“Make love to me, Reese,” I pant desperately, urging him to pull his shirt over his head.
He leans back enough to do just that, tossing it somewhere on the ground behind him before his lips return to mine and he meets my passion with a blazing fire of his own.
In the quiet of the meadow, in the still of one summer afternoon, Reese undresses me and lays me gently on a bed of thick grass. He nuzzles my throat and kisses my chest. He laves my nipples and squeezes my hips, worshiping every inch of me until I’m nearly overwhelmed with the need to have his body covering mine.
I’m on the verge of visceral chaos when Reese leans back and digs a foil package out of his wallet before stepping out of his shorts. He stands naked before me, all tan skin and lean muscles. I watch his biceps shift and his abdomen twitch as he tears open the packet with his teeth and unrolls it over his enormous length.
As much as I want to squeeze my eyes shut against the thought of that fitting inside me, I don’t. I don’t want to miss one moment, one glance. I don’t want to miss the sight of one expression as it flits over his face.
When Reese returns to me, covering my body with his, he rests most of his weight on his forearms so that he can stare down into my eyes. Time passes—a fraction of a second or an eternity. It could easily be either one. Finally, he speaks.
“I’ve never met anyone like you. And whatever happens, I’ll never forget this perfect day, this perfect summer.”
I bury my face against his chest as Reese eases into me. He strokes my hair and whispers soothing things into my ear until the pain passes. I let him think I’m reacting to the sharp sting of his body piercing mine, but I’m not. It’s overshadowed by the agony I feel in my heart. Somewhere deep down, I know I’ll never see Reese again. As much as he might want to save me, he won’t. He can’t. He’s not strong enough. And I think he knows it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE- Reese
Someone crying my name—literally crying—wakes me from my sleep. It takes me only a split second to realize where I am and who I’m with.
It’s Kennedy who is crying.
For me.
“Reese,” she wails again, her face contorted and a single tear slipping from the corner of her eye to travel down her smooth cheek.
“I’m here,” I tell her, drawing her into my arms. The agony in her voice is like a kick to the gut.
She buries her face against my chest, reminding me of that summer all those years ago. She did the same thing in the moments when she gave me her virginity, shedding her tears in absolute silence.
I cup the back of her head and hold her to me, dragging my lips over her apple-scented hair until she calms down. I know the instant she comes fully awake. She stiffens against me.
After a few seconds, I feel Kennedy’s hand come to the center of my chest and push. I release her, leaning back until I can peer down into her face.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“I’m fine,” she answers casually. “Why?”
“You were crying and you said my name a couple of times.”
I see color bloom in her cheeks, a nice change from how peaked she was when I brought her here earlier.
“Oh. Sorry.”
“What were you dreaming about?” Kennedy lowers her eyes and I know by her hesitation that she’s going to tell me a lie. “Tell me the truth. Please.”
She glances back up at me, her eyebrows drawing together. “Why? Why does it matter?”
That’s an excellent question. But I have no answer. I don’t know why it matters; I only know that it does. “I need to know.”
Her guard, usually so ready and so solid, isn’t in place as firmly as it has been. I can see a
softness in her eyes that isn’t often there. Maybe it’s because she’s still waking up. Maybe it’s because she’s been sick. Maybe it’s because I took care of her. Or maybe it’s none of that. Whatever the reason, her guard is down and I plan to take full advantage of it.
I raise my hand to brush the hair away from her cheek, just like I used to brush her bangs back all those summers ago. I see the recognition in her eyes.
“I was dreaming about that day in the woods.”
“Then why were you crying?”
“Because I knew I’d never see you again.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Kennedy. I was just a stupid kid.”
She nods and tries to smile. “I know. I had just hoped you’d be more.” She sighs and I can tell she’s preparing to move, but I’m not ready for this to be over yet.
“I thought about you for years after I left.” She watches me intently, making no comment. “In a way, I wished you’d given your virginity to someone else. Someone who deserved it.”
Her laugh is soft yet tinged with bitterness. “I wanted you to have it. It was the one thing of mine that I had left, the one thing I could give away. Before he took that, too.”
I have an immediate reaction to what it sounds like she might’ve meant by that. The blood leaves my face and my jaw gets tight. But surely she couldn’t be saying... “What do you mean?”
Kennedy’s face is open and sad, not guarded and tough like it has been since the moment I saw her again. “After Hillary died, Hank started…visiting me. At night. In my room. He’s why I would run and hide in the woods.”
The bottom drops out of my stomach. “Are you saying that he…he…”
I feel like the world is perched, perfectly still, on a pinhead, waiting for her to answer me. I pray to God that I’m hearing that wrong, but something tells me I’m not.
“That’s the one part of my innocence that he was afraid to touch. There would be proof. But that was the only part.”
