by LoRee Peery
Kameron didn’t say much as Teresa pointed out landmarks and filled in Samantha regarding life in Lincoln. His mind circled around and always landed back on Gregg. He’d tried so hard to reach Kam, and asked him to stay longer, until the holiday. Just when he was ready to spend more time in Edgewood for Christmas, the man went and had a heart attack.
He figured they’d have all the time in the world to walk the trail with the dogs. Hayley would be involved in their outings. He’d ask her to join them for Christmas dinner. He’d told Gregg, “Lincoln’s not that far. I’ll be back.”
Now those times with Gregg were on hold.
Thank God, Gregg still lived. People died in the stories he wove, but Kameron hadn’t faced death personally.
Hayley had lost her mom. Had the incident with Gregg brought back sad memories?
“Kameron, we’ve been talking about Gregg, and I haven’t asked what you’re working on, what’s new with you?” Teresa’s use of his name yanked him out of his brood.
“What? Same old. Same old. Writing.”
“Sorry to say, you’ve been isolated way too long thinking about yourself and those books you weave.” She patted his shoulder. “Has anything exciting happened while you stayed in Edgewood?”
He slowed for town.
“This tiny place looks like a storybook town.” Samantha unlatched her seatbelt and leaned against Teresa’s seat. “Population 549, I’ll have to take a picture of that sign and send it to my BFFs.”
“It’s a small town filled with nice people. Gregg claims the congregation is good-sized due to a couple developments.” Kameron pulled on to the drive. “Teresa, what happens to the church if Gregg isn’t well enough to lead?”
“I’m guessing the elders have already met and found someone to conduct services, maybe the same one who filled in while Gregg was on vacation. Didn’t the two of you discuss anything besides his dogs and your books?”
Nope. I was never interested enough to ask what went on in his life. I didn’t want to feel worse over the sinner I am. “I don’t know how to do any of this.”
He hit the steering wheel, charged around back to get their bags, and barged into the house.
“You’re making an awful lot of noise.” Hayley’s greeting halted his temper tantrum.
Temper. Brought on by guilt for his negligence. He stared at her where she stood with a spoon in one hand and potholder in the other. Without a word, he dropped the bags and reopened the door.
Once Teresa and Samantha entered, he opened his mouth to make introductions.
Samantha nodded, but interrupted. “Sam Wormwinkle. I’ve heard jokes about our last name all my life. You can chuckle if you want. This is my mom, but Kameron’s mother first.”
Hayley didn’t crack a smile over the last name. Life had been awful enough for Kameron. Thank goodness, he didn’t have such a name attached to him. If Teresa had the name when she adopted Kam, he would’ve run away.
Teresa held out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Hayley. It’s a comfort to know Kameron has a good friend for such a time of trouble.”
Conversation around the table remained on the trivial. Teresa kept carrying on about how touched she was by Hayley’s thoughtfulness in putting together the surprise meal.
Kameron pushed back from the table, having eaten but not registered any taste.
“Samantha, how about you clear the table.” Teresa put her hand on his arm. “Kameron, if you haven’t already, would you please get Gregg a Bible, maybe from his bedside table?”
Air exploded from his throat in stuttered gusts. How lost could a grown man be? He was a useless wimp. Hadn’t thought of anything like that. He needed direction.
OK, God. I’ve reached the end here. I’m selfish and spoiled. Never had anyone to think of or care for except my measly self. If You’re there, I need You. Pastor Gregg needs You.
Hayley was immediately drawn to Teresa, a gentle woman with white hair, but a surprisingly smooth face. “I’m sorry to meet under these circumstances.”
“It’s such a pleasure to get to know you, Hayley. What a blessing Kameron has someone so close to spend time with.”
“If Pastor can have fudge, please find out so you can take him some. While you’re here, bring Samantha, and come on over for fudge and coffee on the house. Check out Auntie’s Antiquities.”
“That sounds good. I see Kameron found a Bible for Gregg.” Teresa slipped on her coat. “How did you come up with a name like Auntie’s Antiquities?”
“Oh, the name was one of the things we had to think about the most. While Mom and I collected fun stuff we made jokes about where those delightful old things came from. At estate sales, for instance, was it grandparents who first owned the items? A rich uncle? One time while an auctioneer was rattling away, we heard a family member say the woman who’d passed inherited from an aunt.”
“Everyone has heard of dreaming of an inheritance from a long, lost relative.”
“Right. Another person said she wished she had an aunt to pass on such splendid antiquities as surrounded us that day. Mom and I looked at each other and knew we had the name.”
“I love how God works things out like that, in the mind of more than one person. Thank you for giving up your evening. Since you and Kameron seem close, and if you don’t have anything better to do, I’d like you to join us to look through old photo albums. Sam wants to know all about my family, not that there’s much, and Gregg has things that I don’t.”
Hayley buried a twinge of discomfort over glimpsing into the private life of her pastor. But Kam was part of the history. She glanced at him, and then crossed to his side where he stood waiting at the door, a well-worn thick Bible in His hand. The lost look he wore wrenched her heart.
11
It would take time for Kam to toss away the tension of nearly losing Gregg.
His uncle wouldn’t need surgery, only life-style changes. He’d be released as soon as a well-care regimen was solidified, probably on Christmas Eve.
And best of all, Hayley was spending the evening with them.
“Oh, Mom, look at this. Kameron was so cute.” Samantha carefully rolled back a clear cover on the album page.
Teresa shot the photo with her cell phone. Sliding the album in front of him, she tapped the picture. “Kameron, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile, I’d totally forgotten how adorable your dimples were. Do you still have them?”
Instead of smiling in response to answer her question, his brow furrowed. Who cared how deep the lines in his face plowed?
“Let me see.” Hayley leaned to set the album on edge, brushing his shoulder. “Sweet. I’m guessing your dimples are killer sexy now. When do I get to see them?”
Doggone, she’s pretty. If anyone had the ability to make him smile, it’d be Hayley Wolfe. Maybe someday. Right now, he had the insurmountable task of discovering where he fit in spiritual matters.
Her smile faded and their gazes locked. Amber irises to match her heart and soul made of gold.
“Jesus is the only One who can put a smile in your heart and bring it to the outside.” Her tone was the most serious she’d ever addressed him with. “You write about lost boys. Are they all hard-hearted, or do you ever give them something to be happy about, the way you were when this picture was taken?”
“I used to be happy. Then about the time tween hormones hit, I heard the truth of my birth. I’d always known I was adopted. Pastor Gregg liked to say he was a substitute father because my real Father is God.” He swiveled to look up at Teresa where she stood with tear-filled eyes at the end of the table. “Looking back, I feel awful that I couldn’t regard you as my mother the second half of the years I spent with you. I need to call you Mom again.”
“You know you were forgiven before that decision was ever made. I pray for the day you don’t feel you need to call me Mom, but that you’ll want to.” Teresa came around and hugged him from behind. “My heart hurts for you, K
ameron. I know how overwhelmed you are right now. You’re sad and probably dealing with guilt. More than anything, I want you to bear a lighter burden.” She resumed her seat next to Samantha.
They continued going through pictures, with an occasional exclamation from Teresa as old memories popped up.
The furnace whispered in the background as they pored over pictures.
Hayley’s voice made him jump. “When did you start calling Teresa by her first name?”
He sat back in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at the buttons on the front of his brown flannel shirt. “You’ve already heard this. Once they told me I was left on the church steps, tossed aside, and abandoned. Worthless, according to my own mother. I wasn’t worthy enough to call anyone else by that name.”
“I’ll echo Teresa then. I’ll pray for you, Kam. Somehow, the Holy Spirit needs to prod you to open your heart’s door. Jesus is standing there knocking, you know. I can’t imagine growing up the way you did. And I’m sorry we’re all ganging up on you by pointing you to Jesus. That was Pastor Gregg’s job, his teaching and expression of love. He didn’t have to take you in. His sister didn’t have to adopt you. They could have left you with child services instead of going through what they did to basically become your parents.”
He pushed back his chair, leaned over, and dug his fingers into his scalp.
“You’ve peered through the rearview mirror instead of looking to the future. Focus on what’s beyond the windshield.” Samantha slammed an album shut. “Grow up, big brother. Stop embracing the abandonment issue, and crying ‘Oh, poor me.’ You just might pick up the guilt issue because you never appreciated the sacrifices and the love Uncle Gregg offered to you.”
Teresa reached for a nearby Bible. “I have one last thing to say on this subject of love. In Psalm 61:2, David writes, ‘From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.’ The only way you’ll find relief is by turning to God. He won’t make any of what we face go away, but He is the firm foundation that cannot be moved or shaken. His strength is what it takes to survive.”
Why couldn’t they all just leave him alone?
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
On their feet at Edgewood Community Church for Sunday service, a visiting pastor had just greeted them and led a prayer for Pastor Gregg’s complete recovery.
Hayley tried not to flinch in response to the death grip Kameron had on her hand. She hated the strife on his face. Conflict, grief, and a multitude of dark emotions colored him with despair.
They’d been rough on him last night around the table. His heart must be shredded.
Pain was familiar. Mom had gone to heaven. She didn’t remember her father. Hayley had her mother until young adulthood, but she’d always needed love from a father. Love. Kameron could get frustrated with her supposed preaching at him, and then leave the same way her father had.
Her mixed-up emotions approached more than friendship with Kam, based on the way he tormented her every waking moment. She loved him. The giddy admission flooded her bloodstream.
What a thing to surface during church on a Sunday morning.
Could she chance truly loving him? Was she willing to give him her heart, even if he never came to Christ?
Teresa and Samantha wore expressions of peace as they sang, “The First Noel.”
Hayley’s awareness of Kameron overrode her ability to worship the Lord through the words of the familiar Christmas carol.
They sat for the reading of Scripture, and then stood for prayer.
Kam braced his hands on the pew in front, his head lowered.
What was he thinking? She hoped he planned to tell Teresa how appreciative and thankful he was. She embraced his arm and covered his hand with hers. “You think you’re falling apart, but God will get you through,” She whispered to him and squeezed his hand. Hayley was so aware of him, that they breathed in sync.
Following the service, a parade of women from the church toted in food to last a week.
Hayley helped the women plan and mark meals so Kameron could thaw meal-sized portions for him and Pastor Gregg.
Kameron emerged from the back bedroom with his suitcoat replaced by a navy blue flannel.
Hayley met his gaze, and swiped her hands on a towel, ready to go to his side.
Teresa reached out. “Hayley, thanks for all you’ve done, especially because Kameron needs a friend. Do you have plans for the afternoon?”
“I do. Blythe and I are baking cookies with her mother. I was just going to tell Kameron I hope he can have a quiet day.”
“Gregg wants us all to take a nap, and then head his way. You’re blessed to have a good friend like Blythe. I’m thankful she helped Kameron, as well. We’ll stop over before we leave town.”
Hayley blew Kam a kiss and hoped he received it as a promise.
“Please sit, Kameron. We’re all tired, but Gregg wanted me to go over something before we see him. Samantha, please put down your phone.”
The threesome sank into comfortable cushions with a collective sigh.
Kameron leaned his head on the couch back and closed his eyes. Too bad Hayley wasn’t here to lay her head on his shoulder.
Teresa jarred the silence a few moments later. “Gregg looks on you as his son, Kameron. Surely you realize that he shouldn’t be living here, taking care of these dogs until he’s fully recovered.”
He drew his brows together and bounced his foot. “I’ve thought of being with him. The dogs make it hard to write here, but I suppose I can get ear phones.”
Samantha jabbed his leg and jumped up. “Why do you always feel sorry for yourself? Get a life. Open your eyes and look at me, big brother, I have something to say.”
Kameron sat tall and did as she demanded. “I’m not…”
“Look, big brother, I was abandoned at birth just like you, only left in the filth near an alley dumpster. The cops found out my birth mother was a mentally disturbed teen mom. They found drugs in my system. Crack cocaine. Only God kept my brain halfway normal. Dad and Mom had tried to have a baby for years. They took me in and always made me feel especially loved.” Samantha softened her voice. “After she died, God brought Teresa into Dad’s and my life. She took over and has been a second mom to me. What I’m trying to say, big brother, is get over yourself. Recognize what God has done for you. Be thankful.” Samantha bounced up and gave Teresa a hug. “Mom, it’s too morbid out here. I’m going to talk to my friends.” Samantha scurried up the stairs.
“I…uh…” Kameron couldn’t think of anything to say.
Teresa stood. “Think about what Samantha said, son. You’re healthy. You’re alive. You have a gift. You have a beautiful girlfriend. Getting a life is all about opening your eyes to the blessings God gives us every single day. Gregg has blessed you in more ways than praying for you all your life.”
A girlfriend. Kameron was edging that way, but his family already saw Hayley as part of their family. They’d adopted her as their own. Adopted…
And an hour later, he still reeled over the news Teresa had shared with him. Gregg had bought the parsonage because he liked the small town and wanted to live there until he died. He’d willed the house and contents to Kameron, including the dogs, if he passed away.
“If you choose, you can move in with Gregg now, help him transition through this health issue, and be here if he needs you.”
Each sentence out of Mom’s mouth had rocked Kameron to the core. He walked out to the car in a daze, still thinking and mulling over what he’d do with his stuff at his apartment, not that he had much.
Teresa shook his arm. “You’re kind of scaring me. I can relate to the shock, but how about unlocking the car doors so we can get in and see Gregg?” She turned his chin to face her. “A more serious question, do you need me to drive?”
He shook his head, looked around,
and gained his bearings.
Moments later, Samantha turned from the front seat to look at her mother in the back. “Can we go to Hayley’s place in the morning? I want some fudge. Besides, I haven’t bought you anything yet for Christmas.”
Christmas. Almost here. What a crazy December. A home other than an apartment. If he moved now, there’d be meals and moments with Uncle Gregg, and Bette Jean and Ross. And Hayley.
A siren blared on his right, just before an intersection.
Kameron slammed on the brake.
Lincoln Fire and Rescue careened around the corner ahead of him in the curb lane.
Samantha braced against the dashboard. “Keep your mind on your driving, Kameron.”
In response, he switched to the inside lane as soon as possible, and passed the accident scene ahead of a police cruiser he saw in the rearview.
“Oh, no. Lord, help that poor soul the EMTs are working on, and anyone else who might be injured,” Teresa prayed.
Samantha chimed in on, “Amen. Think about our beginnings, Kameron. God covers everything that touches our lives, even that accident. Nothing happens by chance.”
Not even a pastor’s heart attack just before Christmas, or a step-sister’s entrance into the world that was worse than his own.
They’d spent an hour with Gregg, who looked more tired than he had earlier.
As soon as they entered the house, Teresa and Samantha bid Kameron good night.
He grabbed the leashes and didn’t bother changing clothes. He ran the dogs three-quarters of a mile and speed-walked back to the house.
Gregg’s instructions ran through his head. “I have nothing to hide. You can dig through every drawer and cupboard, every nook and cranny in the house. Before I get home, though, I want you to read a letter I wrote you. It’s in my room.”
Chilled, he changed into warm sweats. At some point, he’d rifle through kitchen drawers. He saw no reason to check any file drawers in the desk. His stomach growled. Forget that. Too worked up. He dug all ten fingers into his scalp.
I want you to read a letter I wrote you. It’s in my room.
