by Ava Benton
“I do,” he murmured, brushing his lips over the top of my head. “I like that you’re tall, and I like your hair the way it is. Your freckles are cute. And you have a mouth on you, yeah.” He chuckled. “I like that, too. Any man who doesn’t isn’t much of a man.”
He was right about that, because he was the most masculine, sexiest thing I had never met. “I was never the pretty friend. I was always the skinny one, the awkward one. I would talk my girlfriends off the ledge when their boyfriends broke their hearts. It was never my turn.”
“It is now,” he whispered.
I rested my head against his chest with a smile.
Yes. It was my turn, finally.
And he was worth waiting for.
“If you want it to be,” I heard him murmur as my eyes were closing.
We fell into an easy half-sleep, drifting in and out, touching and stroking and kissing.
Whispering the sorts of things people whisper in the dark, especially when they’re just starting to open up to each other.
Of course, his mind was next door, with his dad.
I had expected that—afterglow couldn’t last forever.
“I hate him for caring more about them than he does about us, I guess. Wow. Saying it out loud didn’t hurt as much as I figured it would.”
I patted his chest. “You don’t hate him. At least, I don’t think you do. If you hated him, you wouldn’t care. You only hate what he’s done. I guess I would, too. But it sounds like he’s between a rock and a hard place, too. The longer he’s with them, the more they need him. You should hear the way they talk about him. Like they would be nowhere without him—and they’re right, of course. They’re like his flock.”
“But we were his kids. I wish I could explain how screwed up it all is in my head.”
“I get it. I really do.”
“I believe you do.”
My heart swelled as I looked up with a smile.
He stroked the side of my face.
“How do you keep your skin so smooth?” he asked in a voice filled with awe.
“You think it’s that smooth?” I ran my hand over my other cheek. “I don’t know. Feels normal to me.”
“Because you’re used to touching it,” he chuckled.
“Oh, yeah…” I giggled, but the giggle faded as he kept touching me.
“So soft,” he whispered, letting his fingers trail down my throat and over my shoulder.
I let out a tiny sigh, almost too quiet to hear. Goosebumps rose over my arm as he stroked it.
“You’re good to me,” I whispered, arching my back when his fingertips danced down the length of my spine.
“I want to be good to you,” he whispered hoarsely as my body came alive under his hands. “I want to make you feel things you didn’t know you could feel. I want you to lose yourself in me, the way I lose myself in you.”
“I do…” I whispered, closing my eyes and letting the sensations take over, marveling that he felt he got lost in me.
I did lose myself in his touch, his kiss. Strong, firm, demanding lips which landed on my jaw and slid down my throat. His tongue flicked over my skin and set it on fire—the louder I sighed or gasped, the more pleasure of rained down on me.
“I need you.” Over and over as his hands owned my body, stroking and caressing.
As he rolled me onto my back and I opened my legs to take him inside.
His hoarse, broken, throaty growl. The animal in him was struggling to break free and I almost wished it would win.
I wanted him to take me, mark me, make me his forever.
When he thrust forward, I closed my eyes and let him carry me away to something beyond what I knew existed.
13
Carter
My eyes flew open when I heard the door open.
Not my door. The one to Drew’s room.
“Fuck,” I muttered, sliding out of bed to pull on a pair of jeans.
I knew it would happen just like that but had still let myself fall asleep.
Alice was out cold, sprawled out on her stomach. Her hair was a pool of fire against the white sheets.
Even though my nerves were raw and I was in a hurry, I had to smile as I opened the door and slipped out to the open walkway which looked down at the parking lot.
There he was, walking to the Jeep.
I ran down the stairs barefoot and caught up just as he reached the driver’s side door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked.
Dad froze, then turned. “You were watching for me?”
“Of course. It’s my job to be aware of what’s happening around here.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you would be more interested in other things right now.”
“Don’t change the subject.” As far as I was concerned, he didn’t have the right to joke with me like that.
His expression hardened. “Got it. You’re right.”
“So, where do you think you’re going?” I asked again.
“Back to the group.”
“You were going to run out on us again? Without saying a word?”
“It’s not as if you wouldn’t be able to find me,” he reasoned. “We’re both going to the same place.”
“But you should’ve been with us. I think that’s what bothers me the most about this whole thing. I understand that you feel responsible for them. I respect your leadership, since you’ve kept them all safe for this long and they obviously look up to you. But I don’t understand why you would rather run back to them than wait for your sons to wake the hell up and make the drive with you.”
He leaned against the door of the Jeep. “I wish I could explain in a way that would make it seem like I don’t care more about them than I do about you.”
“That’s all I need to know,” I muttered. “Go to them. They need you. I learned a long time ago how to get along without you.”
As I turned away, he said, “Yes. That’s exactly it. You don’t need me anymore, but they still do.”
“Poor you, having people who need you,” I spat over my shoulder.
I hoped they had better luck than me and my brother. I hoped he never ran out on them before sunrise without saying a word.
Alice was awake when I got back to the room.
“Sorry,” I muttered, walking past the bed in the hopes of escaping to the bathroom to be alone. I couldn’t stand the thought of her watching me crumble—and crumbling was what I felt like doing then.
“Please, don’t shut me out.” She sat up, pulling the sheets around her body. “He left, didn’t he?”
That stopped me in my tracks. I turned to look at her—she was so sure of herself, shaking her head with a knowing look.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Because they’re his tribe. Or his pack. Or whatever it’s called.” She shrugged apologetically. “I’m telling you, you don’t know how much they depend on him. Lance’s smart and wants to do the right thing, but they’ve been relying on Jordan for so long, they’re like chickens with their heads cut off when he’s not around.”
“His name isn’t Jordan,” I corrected with a grimace. “It’s Jonathan.”
“That’s a nice name,” she said. “But you know why he can’t use his real name. And maybe they rely on him the way they do because he’s the only one of the group with any understanding of the enemy. I really don’t know—I’ve tried to understand it, and that’s the closest I’ve come to making any sense. They just need him in a way you don’t.”
“Funny. He just said something like that.”
“So I’m right. Big surprise.” She rolled her eyes.
“I wish I could laugh about this,” I muttered.
“Sorry. I’m not trying to make a joke out of it. I promise.”
“I know. And I’m acting like a brat.” I ran my hands through my hair until it stood up. “We should get on the road if we want to catch up with the group.”
“Okay. I’ll get in the
shower.” She wrapped the sheet around herself before getting out of bed.
It was almost sweet, the way she could still be modest after everything we had done. We had slept naked in each other’s arms for hours, but she still wanted to hide herself.
“Hey. What’s with the sheet?” I asked as other thoughts rose to the forefront of my mind.
Thoughts that had nothing to do with Dad or a bunch of shifters I didn’t know and would never know.
There was a beautiful, sexy woman in front of me and she was wearing nothing but a sheet.
I managed to grab a corner of it and used it to pull her to me.
“I thought we were in a hurry,” she said, pulling away with a grin.
I won our tug-of-war, wrapping my arms around her body. “I’m not in that much of a hurry.”
Drew seemed a little stunned.
I told myself it wouldn’t be fair to rub it in. I told him so, didn’t I? Jonathan or Jordan or whatever he called himself couldn’t be trusted. He cared more about a bunch of strangers than he did about us.
Meanwhile, Alice tried to pick up his spirits. “Let’s stop at that same store again, huh? The one from yesterday. I think we left a little bit of candy on the shelves, didn’t we?”
He smiled, kinda. “I wonder if they’ve had time to restock yet.”
“Come on. Come on, come on, come on.” She poked his shoulder from the back seat. “I want more of those terrible cupcakes.”
“They were really gross, weren’t they?”
The two of them chuckled and I thanked whatever power was up in the sky for her. I couldn’t have dealt with him on my own, not when I was already steaming over the way Dad snuck off.
“Okay, we’ll go to that store if you want,” I offered, if only to keep her from poking me in the shoulder the way she poked him. Not something I enjoyed.
Even so, by the time we reached the intersection where the store was located, we were all in a good mood.
Things would be all right. Once we closed the case, I could move on and not have to worry about Dad again—or his pack.
What that meant for me and Alice was another story. One whose ending I wasn’t sure of.
My eyes traveled over the intersection and I froze when I saw three telltale black cars parked in front of the very same convenience store we were headed for.
“Fuck. Get down,” I barked at Alice.
“What?”
“Down!” I shouted.
She hit the deck, muttering to herself.
Drew followed my gaze and realized why I was losing my shit. “Fuck! Is he there?”
“I don’t see the Jeep.”
Even so, they were on the trail. Did they know we went after him? Or were they looking for the pack as a whole? I made it a point to drive through once the light changed to green like nothing was happening. Just two guys out for a drive early in the morning.
“What’s happening?” Alice asked from her spot on the floor.
“Just stay down,” I ordered.
“I don’t smell them,” Drew muttered.
“No. They’re human,” I agreed.
Good thing. They couldn’t spot us by smelling us the way we shifters tracked each other.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered under his breath.
“Call Roan.”
“Already on it.” His phone was in his hand. He left it on speaker so I could join in.
“Where are you guys?” Roan asked. He wasn’t happy.
“We’re outside Santa Barbara, on our way to you. Which is where now?”
“Around Lake Casitas. Staying away from the beach for now. They’ll be looking near the beach.”
“Right.” Drew plugged it into the GPS to route our drive.
I cleared my throat. “Have you guys talked about Jordan?” I glanced at Drew.
“Yeah, Drew called me last night.” Roan’s voice dropped low. “I’m sorry, man. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t know. Maybe you’re lucky.”
“Yeah. Maybe. So at least you know who to expect.” I checked out the GPS. “He should be able to track you guys and should be there pretty soon. He left a while ago. Listen. We just spotted three most definitely distinct cars at a convenience store outside Santa Barbara. Complete with two burly assholes standing out front with their big sunglasses and folded arms.”
“You think they were looking for you?”
“They were looking for somebody,” I said. “Us or you, I don’t know.”
“How’s the client?”
“Secure in the back seat.”
“Can I get up now?” she asked from back there.
“Oh, yeah. You can sit up.” I turned back to the phone. “Have you seen anybody matching that description?”
“Negative. I wonder if they were looking for him, not for you.” I knew who he meant and it made sense. The articles talked about a leader but never mentioned his name, and she had written about how he traveled in advance of the pack to stake out the next location.
“That’s possible. They definitely wouldn’t still be around if they caught up to him, either.” A felt a little spark of hope flickering to life in my chest.
“Just get out here as fast as you can, all right? I won’t rest easy until I know you’re all okay.”
“How are things back home?” Drew asked.
Roan sighed—and Drew winced. He was hoping to change the subject to nicer things.
“She and Maggie are getting along great, which is good. And the appointment with the obstetrician went well, too.”
“All great things,” Drew said.
“Yeah. Great things.” He wouldn’t be satisfied until he was back with his woman, and I could relate.
I had figured out overnight how it felt to want somebody else’s safety and happiness more than my own. Not just because I was assigned to her, but because she meant more to me than myself. Because the thought of anybody trying to hurt her made it almost impossible to keep my fangs and claws from extending.
“We’ll see you soon. Call if anything else comes up.” Drew ended the call and leaned back in his seat with a sigh. “So, what are we doing right now? Camping at the lake?”
“Should we even be there with the rest of the group?” Alice asked in a small voice.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, I thought we were supposed to keep me away from them if we could. Right? If I’m not with them, I’m not in as much danger.”
“I have to be honest with you,” I said, meeting her eyes in the rear-view mirror. “I’m not sure what we’re doing right now. I’m flying by the seat of my pants.”
“We’re usually a lot more organized,” Drew apologized. “But this is maybe the most complicated case we’ve ever been assigned.”
“Great,” she replied in an even smaller voice, this time with a half-hearted laugh. “I feel so special now.”
I wished I could hold her. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and promise nothing would ever hurt her. How could I even begin to make a promise like that?
“It’s not impossible,” I said, which only made her cover her face and turn away. “Hey. Look at me.”
She lifted her eyes, but barely.
“I’m going to make sure you never have to be scared, ever again. Understand?”
She nodded, taking a deep breath as she did. “I believe you.”
Just as simple as that. She trusted me.
I had to live up to that trust.
14
Alice
The lake was beautiful. That was the first thing I noticed. That and the way the blue sky reflected so perfectly in the water, with the mountains looming in the distance. They couldn’t have picked a prettier place to set up camp.
I missed my friends. But were they really my friends? Could I even trust them when they hadn’t been honest with me? I wished I knew.
I trusted Carter, and he had always been honest. I would follow his lead, whether I could trust the rest of them.
&
nbsp; I watched him as he drove around the campground. His chiseled jaw was set in a hard line, and his fingers were tight around the wheel. So tight, his knuckles stood out a bright white against his otherwise tanned skin.
I could practically taste his tension, and the concern he had about seeing his father again. I wished I could take that away from him. I would’ve done anything to make things just a little bit easier.
And he was worried about me, too. It was touching, even as I wished I could take that worry away. This was all over me. Stupid, little old me.
I thought back on the night we spent together and our morning in the shower and remembered his tenderness more than his passion.
I still felt little stings along my back from his nails scraping across my skin. And I liked it. But I liked the memory of the sweet, soft kisses he’d planted all over my body even better.
I could get used to being treated that way. Like he really cared about me.
“Where is everybody?” I asked, looking around.
Then, I heard a splash and a chorus of laughter. They were already swimming in the lake. Would they even be glad I was back?
Not everybody—I didn’t expect everybody to care, but the girls at least.
I hoped they cared. I hoped they didn’t resent me.
“I guess they’re all happy to have their main guy back,” Carter sneered.
I touched his shoulder, which was practically up around his ear thanks to his tension, and he relaxed a little.
“Yeah. They don’t feel like they have to worry as much,” I offered. “Lance’s probably dancing around, swinging his clothes over his head.”
Carter snorted. “Lucky him.”
“Think about it this way,” Drew suggested. “Now that he’s back, we don’t have to worry about them. He knows how to keep them off the radar. He’s been doing it for years.”
“Many years,” Carter muttered. “But you’re right. I don’t want all that responsibility on my back.”
“I’m more than enough,” I murmured, feeling guilty again.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Stop taking things personal, please. I would rather concentrate on you. Is that so bad?”
