He grinned. ‘Kind of. My dad and I crashed on the dual carriageway, so I don’t have a building to haunt like you, but I’m tied to the place all the same. You might have seen the flowers when you came to the party.’
‘What happened to your dad?’
The grin faded. ‘He’s been in a coma since the accident. I don’t see him much.’ A melancholy expression crossed his face. ‘I miss him. He was the one who taught me to play guitar.’
He looked so vulnerable, I wanted to reach out and touch him. ‘He did a great job.’
Ryan nodded absently. ‘My mum spends most of her time at the hospital, hoping he’ll get better. Meanwhile, he’s stuck in an even worse situation than us. I wish there was something I could do. At least if he was a ghost I could help him move on.’
I hadn’t realised there was anything worse than being dead. My throat ached with sympathy. As well as being the most gorgeous ghost ever to walk the earth, Ryan was a genuinely nice person. I wanted to hug him. Actually, I wanted to snog his face off, but that was going to have to wait. Right now, it was enough to sit and talk.
‘What about you? When are you going to move on?’
‘I suppose I’ll know when the time is right.’ He scuffed one worn trainer against the other. ‘In the meantime, we have some unfinished business. Usually, I know as soon as I meet someone. You’re different.’
My stomach flipped. ‘What do you mean?’
He studied me soberly for a moment, then shook his head. ‘Nope, you’ll have to put me out of my misery.’ He tilted his face to one side. ‘Marmite. Love it or hate it?’
I laughed out loud. ‘Love it, of course.’
He looked delighted. ‘Excellent news. I couldn’t go out with a girl who didn’t like Marmite.’
Oh flippity-flip, now my stomach was doing a full Olympic gymnastic routine. Had he really said what I thought he had? ‘You haven’t asked me yet.’
Blue eyes darkening as they met mine, Ryan nodded. ‘I’m getting to that part. Lucy, will you go out with me?’
I thought about what my mates would say if they could see me now. Yuk, probably. But they’d also be advising me to play it cool, be an ice princess and make him wait. I looked at his tanned face, remembering how I’d felt when he’d sung to me earlier. He was one in a million. There was no way I was letting him get away.
‘You’d have to promise never to play R’n’B in my presence.’
He held up a hand. ‘Scout’s honour. You do know I was kidding about that?’
I hadn’t. The nose flute had been an obvious joke, but plenty of guys had been into dubious music at school. It was a massive relief that Ryan wasn’t like them.
‘Correct answer,’ I said cheerfully. ‘Congratulations. You’ve just won tonight’s star prize – a date with Lucy Shaw.’
‘Great.’ He smiled back at me. ‘Deciding to throw that party was the best decision I ever made.’
After he’d gone, I considered the evening. Getting sucked back to the toilet was something I never wanted to experience again, and I made a mental note to make sure I spent at least a few hours at home every day. I prodded my feelings some more. In spite of being stuck underground with only a dripping tap for company, I was the happiest I’d been for ages. Picturing Ryan’s gorgeously dimpled smile, a grin of pure pleasure crept over my face. The afterlife had just got a whole lot more interesting.
Chapter 10
‘We need to talk,’ Jeremy announced as he delivered a fresh batch of reading material a few days after the party.
I didn’t look at him. Ryan had suggested we go to the cinema, and I was scanning the local paper trying to find the perfect date film. It was harder than I thought.
‘I’ve been doing some research, and I think I’ve discovered something about your murderer.’
My head jerked up, a sick feeling washing over me. ‘What?’
‘After I spoke to the psychic from the Dearly Departed, I spent a few hours surfing the internet looking for clues. I found some disturbing things.’ His eyes rested seriously on my face. ‘I don’t think you were his first victim. There are others. I think he’s tried it before.’
I shivered. Jeremy kept harping on about helping me to cross over, but if it meant reliving the dark night of my murder over and over again, I wasn’t sure I was ready. Besides, things were pretty rosy in my garden at the moment. It wasn’t perfect but, after a blissful first date at the Science Museum with Ryan, it felt as though things were just starting to go right for me again. As much as I hated living in a toilet, I didn’t want to move on if it meant I lost the new friends I’d gained.
‘Maybe we shouldn’t start this.’ I knew it wasn’t what Jeremy wanted to hear. ‘If the police couldn’t catch my killer what chance do we have? I don’t know if I even remember what he looked like.’
Jeremy seemed to have been expecting my reluctance. ‘It isn’t going to be easy, but what choice do we have?’ His face softened. ‘You can’t hang around here forever.’
How could I explain that I wasn’t sure I wanted to go? All Jeremy saw was what I’d lost by dying. He didn’t understand that this shadowy existence was better than none at all, that maybe I’d found something I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I seized at the nearest excuse to put him off. ‘I don’t have time for this now – Ryan will be here soon.’
Eyes resting on mine, he wasn’t letting it go. ‘Maybe if you could give me a few details, they might help me to join up the dots?’
I didn’t want to. The part of me which had helped me cope with the aching loss of my family was telling me to leave the past alone. Something in Jeremy’s insistent gaze, though, wouldn’t allow me to run away. Reluctantly, I forced myself to remember.
‘I was on my way home from a really crappy party, about eleven-thirty. My best mate was supposed to come with me, but she’d got stupid chickenpox and couldn’t go, so like an idiot, I went on my own. Anyway, the party sucked and I decided to cut my losses. I promised my dad I’d get a taxi home, but it was a really long wait so I thought I’d walk.’ My voice cracked to barely a whisper as the memories started to flow. ‘The streets were quiet. Everyone was still partying, I guess.’
Jeremy nodded encouragingly. ‘Then what happened?’
My chest heaved and I could almost taste the fear again. ‘I could see someone watching me all the way along Carnaby Street. When I reached the loos he called out to me. He said he’d heard an animal crying in the toilet and thought some boys had been tormenting a puppy down there. He asked if I’d go down and check on it while he called the RSPCA.’ Even in the depths of my worst nightmare, I managed a half-hearted snort. ‘Like anyone would be dumb enough to fall for that. Anyway, he must have seen me turning away, because the next thing I knew, he’d hooked an arm around my throat and whispered that he had a knife. Once he’d dragged me down the stairs there was nothing I could do.’ I lowered my head into my hands, misery pooling in my stomach. ‘I couldn’t get away, and it hurt so much.’
Jeremy’s expression was wretched as he watched me struggle not to cry. ‘It’s OK. That’s enough for now.’ He fiddled with his jacket while I composed myself. ‘I’m going to keep digging, see what I can find out.’ He stared at me, serious and worried-looking. ‘We could be dealing with a serial killer. If I’m right, this man probably plans to kill again.’
The words dragged me down after he’d gone. Apart from the details I’d shared, I’d purposefully blocked out most of what happened the night I died. There’d been no point in going over it again and again on my own. But if my killer was out there deciding on his next victim, could I really sit back and let it happen? Didn’t I have a duty to put a stop to his murderous ways? I forced the thought to the back of my mind. Finding him could cost me my newfound happiness. It wasn’t a chance I wanted to take.
‘Hep, can I ask you something?’
We were sitting on her old bedroom floor, practising flicking the Blu-tack from her posters at the wastepaper bin. So f
ar, she was winning, but my aim was improving.
‘Depends on the question.’
I tossed my gaze skywards. She could be so moody sometimes. ‘Have you ever kissed another ghost?’
Her shot pinged off the window. She turned to stare at me. ‘No. Don’t you think I’ve got enough issues without adding romantic angst into the mix?’
She had a point. ‘Suppose so. If you were going to, though, how would you do it?’
‘Let me guess. We’re talking about Ryan the Love God here, right?’
Move over Einstein, there’s a new genius in town. ‘I wasn’t thinking of Gawjus George,’ I said, referring to the dribbling old ghost who had taken a bit of a shine to me over at the Dearly D.
She shrugged and resumed her flicking. ‘I suppose it’s possible. It’s only physical objects we have trouble touching, not ghostly ones. I’m not sure how satisfying a snog-fest would be, though. It can’t be the same can it, without real lips?’
It had me worried too. After my trip to the cinema with Ryan, I’d had the distinct impression that we both wanted to take things a step further, but neither of us knew how. It was hard enough working out the right time to kiss someone for the first time without all the added complications of being dead. In the end, we’d settled for some deeply unsatisfactory arm touching and smiling at each other wistfully. Then he’d watched as I’d made my solitary way down the steps to my loo. It had to be up there as one of the most disappointing ends to a date in the history of the universe.
We played in silence for a minute. I was catching up. ‘Won’t your parents wonder where all the mess came from?’
‘Nah. They’re used to much worse things.’ A sad smile crept over her face. ‘Not long after I died, I emptied every box of cereal over the living-room carpet. Have you ever tried to get Sugar Puffs out of a faux-fur rug?’
Sometimes I didn’t understand her. ‘Why would you do that?’
She shrugged. ‘I was angry and wanted them to know about it. They never understood why I committed suicide.’
I couldn’t help feeling confused. ‘And you thought you could communicate that best using cereal?’
‘I was angry,’ she repeated. ‘I didn’t say I was rational.’
‘Did it help them get why you killed yourself?’
She flicked too hard. The ball bounced off the rim of the bin and stuck to the lead singer’s nose. ‘No. They couldn’t work me out when I was alive. Why would they understand me any better now I’m dead?’
The force of her next throw made the bin rattle against the wall. Maybe I should have let the conversation go, but I could feel the strength of her feelings and hearing about some of Ryan’s experiences had made me want to help. ‘Did you write a suicide note?’
She stopped throwing and looked at me, eyes suddenly filled with tears. ‘I tried. I lost count of how many times I started to write something that would explain why I was tearing their lives apart. I couldn’t do it. Nothing I could say would help them understand the torture I went through every day at school. It even followed me home. Towards the end, I couldn’t even escape online. My parents had no idea what it was like. How could they? Death was the only way out.’
I swallowed hard. It was difficult to imagine a life so unbearable that dying was a blessed relief. ‘My school had an assembly. Did yours?’
She sniffed. ‘Oh yeah. And all the bullies said they were sorry. Like I cared how they felt. They were only part of the problem.’
I began to understand. ‘Do you think your parents will ever get why you did it?’
The light fitting above our heads began to sway gently as Hep vented her unhappiness. ‘I want them to,’ she whispered. ‘But they’ll never make the leap. It’s easier to ignore me than make things right.’
We sat in miserable silence.
‘I’m sorry,’ I croaked after a few minutes. ‘I had no idea.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Sometimes it helps to talk about it.’ She sighed heavily and waved a hand towards the bin. ‘It’s your go. Don’t think I’ve forgotten the score.’
I took careful aim, concentrating on forcing my emotions into a single, sharp burst. ‘Hey, it was worth a try.’ The shot spun out of control and landed a long way from the target. ‘I’m not going to beat you in a fair fight. What’s a little cheating between mates?’
Two days later, the weirdest thing happened. OK, so you could argue that my existence was filled with strange happenings. But this was peculiar even by my standards.
It was late evening. I’d been wandering around Covent Garden with Ryan, trying to pluck up courage to take his hand. My nerve had failed a couple of times, but I was determined to have done it by the time we got back to Carnaby Street. If it went well, I decided tonight was the night I went in for the kiss.
Just as I was about to make a grab for his fingers, Ryan raised his arm to point along the street. ‘Isn’t that Jeremy?’
Great. I couldn’t exactly blame him, but Jeremy wasn’t being a massive help in my relationship with Ryan. If he was heading to my toilets, he’d be seriously cramping my style. ‘So it is. He must have just finished at the theatre.’
Ryan smiled. ‘Let’s go and say hi.’
What could I do? The two men in my life were spending half their lives hanging around public toilets for my benefit. It would be rude of me to ignore one in favour of the other. With a silent sigh, I trailed after Ryan. Almost immediately, I came to an abrupt halt. I’d recognise that shade of hair anywhere. The woman who’d walked in front of me was Elvira. The question was, why was she following Jeremy home from work?
‘Ryan, slow down,’ I muttered, remembering only too well what had happened the last time I’d shouted around Elvira. ‘Wait!’
Ryan stopped and turned back to me. ‘What’s up?’
‘Shh!’ I had no way of knowing whether Elvira could hear all ghosts or only me. ‘That’s the woman I told you about from the theatre. The one with the cat, remember?’
He did. ‘I recognise her. She came to the Dearly D once and tried to persuade the psychics to let a TV crew film there. What’s she doing here?’
‘Following Jeremy.’ I shook my head, unease crawling through me. ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this. We’d better warn him before he does anything stupid.’
Elvira had obviously seen him head down into the toilets. She was peering down the stairs, craning her neck to see better and getting a few odd looks from the people passing by. We crept past her and headed down to meet Jeremy.
He smiled when he saw me. ‘Hi. Been out?’
Ordinarily, this would have earned him a sarcastic remark for stating the obvious. I was way too worried for that. In silence, I put one finger to my lips. ‘Elvira is waiting for you outside,’ I whispered. ‘I think she’s tailing you. Has she said anything about me lately?’
Jeremy shook his head. Ryan climbed halfway up the stairs to see if she was still there.
‘She’s gone,’ he said as he came back down.
Jeremy looked mystified. ‘What on earth would she be doing here?’
It was obvious, at least to me. ‘She suspects you of hanging about with ghosts and wants to find out more.’
Worried, Jeremy said, ‘In that case, I’d better keep away for a while. If she sees me in here too often she’ll know something is up.’
I tried to hide a triumphant little grin. I was so grateful to Jeremy and liked having him around some of the time, but he was becoming a major gooseberry. A few days without him was exactly what I needed to get down to some serious lip action with Ryan.
Chapter 11
Unless you’re dead or psychically gifted, you probably have no idea that Leicester Square is haunted by a flasher. I didn’t know either, until I copped an unwanted eyeful as I walked past the enormous Odeon cinema. Grinning like a maniac, he ripped open his grimy beige overcoat in front of me, before speeding away across the square and repeating the process in front of someone else. My mouth dropped open i
n disgust.
‘What’s the matter?’ Noticing I’d stopped, Jeremy turned to look at me.
I shuddered. ‘Trust me, you don’t want to know.’ I jogged to catch up with him. ‘Where are we going again?’
‘St James’s Park. I’ve arranged to meet someone there who might be able to help us.’
The knock-on effect of Jeremy keeping away from the toilets was that all our arrangements had developed a touch of James Bond. Don’t take that to mean that we started crashing expensive cars or using ingenious little gadgets all the time. It only meant we were more careful about everything. Jeremy now wore a flashing hands-free earpiece whenever we were out and about, allowing him to look as though he was completely normal when he talked to me. At least, as normal as anyone ever looked babbling away to no one. I couldn’t help thinking Jeremy was taking the secrecy thing a bit too far, though. Before I knew it, he’d be talking in code and calling me Moneypenny.
‘Is it too much to ask who we’re meeting?’ I asked. If he told me I’d find out when we got there, I decided I might scream.
‘Her name is Sarah. There are some striking similarities with your story. I think she might have been stabbed by the same man as you, but she got away.’
My eyes widened as the words sank in. I was stunned he’d arranged the meeting without asking me. ‘And she agreed to meet you?’
He gave me a grim nod. ‘She took some convincing. I don’t think she’ll be on her own.’
Part of me wanted to thump him. I’d made it clear I wasn’t keen to find my killer, and he’d ignored me totally. But I also understood he was trying to help, and now that he’d found someone else the man had hurt, I could hardly refuse to get involved. My anger ebbed away. How much had he told this Sarah, anyway? Probably not everything.How would you even begin to start a conversation like that? Hi, I’m someone you’ve never met and I talk to the ghost of a girl murdered by the same man who attacked you. I didn’t think so.
It was a fabulous day and St James’s Park was looking good. I missed being alive most when the sun was shining; I’d have given up soap opera updates from Jeremy for a month to be able to feel the sun on my skin one more time.
Tamsyn Murray-Afterlife 01 My So-Called Afterlife Page 6
