“You’re right. On both counts.” A little smile played with the corners of her lips before it slipped away and the barrier returned. “But only to a point. If there was something more between us than lust, I would only be mildly embarrassed at being caught in bed with you. We both agreed, though, that there isn’t anything between us but that.”
“So?” He shrugged, as if she hadn’t just kicked him in the gut.
“So…” Slipping from his lap, she moved beyond his reach. “I really do think I should turn your account over to Linda. Especially now.”
“Why?” He demanded.
She stared at him as if the answer were obvious. “You hired me to help you find a wife. In light of what just happened, I don’t think I’m the best person for the job.”
“Exactly. I hired you. Not Linda.”
“To help you find a wife.”
“Forget about the wife thing, would ya?”
“Are you saying you no longer want to get married?”
“I’m not saying anything. I just—” He rose to pace. “I thought you said you needed the money from this job.”
“I do, but—”
“No buts. Look, I’ll admit that hiring you for a wife hunt probably wasn’t one of my better ideas.” He took her hands. “So, how about if we simply stick to remodeling the house?”
“Linda could do that just as easily—”
“I said no buts. I don’t want Linda. I want you.”
He pulled her close, then took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I mean that, Kate. I want you.”
“I know.” Both longing and fear swam in her green eyes as she looked up at him. “But I won’t sleep with you again. Not if I’m working for you.”
“Does that mean you want to sleep with me again?”
A smile softened her lips, giving him hope. “Maybe.”
“Fine, then stick with the job at least till the kitchen’s done. When you’re on the clock, I’ll keep my hands to myself. However…” He covered her mouth with a slow, toe-curling kiss. Her body relaxed against his, making his pulse leap. He wrapped his arms around her and, cupping her bottom, pulled her snugly against him so she could feel exactly what she did to him. She responded by pressing even closer.
He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and pulled slowly away. Her eyes had gone heavy and dreamy. His voice went husky at the sight. “If you decide to clock out for an afternoon—or morning—of mutually satisfying, uninhibited fun, be sure and let me know.”
She blinked as if to focus her vision. “I’ll, um… I’ll keep it in mind.” With a dazed look, she headed for the stairs.
He let out a breath the moment she left. “Let’s hope so. Lord knows I will.”
Chapter 15
*
Dear Cupid,
Is it true what they say, that a man and woman can never be just friends? In my case, I’m afraid it is because I’ve done a really stupid thing. I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. A part of me wants to tell her how I feel, but another part doesn’t want to risk losing what we have. What should I do?
Friend in Love
KATE SAT BACK and stared at the email on her screen, touched by the plight of Friend in Love. A few weeks ago—no, a few days ago—she would have spoken from her own fear and said, “No. Don’t. Don’t risk your heart. Don’t risk yourself.”
Now…
Now, she found herself more tempted with every letter to tell readers, “Go for it! Open your heart, no matter the risk, because life without at least the chance of love is so desperately empty.”
Empty . She sighed. The word described the way she’d felt for years. That, at least, had certainly changed since Mike burst into her world. Since then, she had felt many things: angry, amused, frightened… happy.
The last few days, though, she felt caught in a tug of war between giddiness and wariness.
The giddiness came every time he looked up from his work to slay her defenses with one of his lethal grins. He could send her heart reeling with a heated look from across a room, even if that room was crowded with construction workers.
They hadn’t had a single moment alone all week. She’d timed her visits that way to give herself some room to think. Yet, she never doubted that he knew the instant she walked into a room, whether to show him fabric samples for window treatments or a catalog of dishes and glassware. She could almost feel the tingle of awareness that passed through his body when she leaned over his shoulder or stood near, because it passed through hers as well.
Wariness, however, snuck in when she caught him glancing at his watch in the middle of a conversation and sensed his impatience to get back to work. She understood, she truly did, that he had a deadline to keep, obligations to meet. She could even admire his dedication and passion. She accepted his grueling schedule because it didn’t touch anyone but her.
But what if she allowed things to get more serious?
Right now, Dylan had no expectations or attachments to Mike. His heart wouldn’t be crushed if Mike decided a relationship put too big of a strain on his work. As long as Dylan stayed safe, she had the courage to risk her heart just a little. Mike might hurt her in the end, but in the meantime…
Yes, in the meantime.
A naughty grin tugged her mouth, and she bit her lower lip to hold it back. Leaning forward, she started to answer the letter, then noticed the time readout on her monitor. Good heavens, how had the morning slipped by so quickly?
“Dylan,” she called, saving the email to answer later, “are you finished packing the toys you want to take this weekend? It’s almost ten o’clock and your father will be here any minute.”
“I’m trying to decide,” he called down in a frantic voice that made her smile. For the past two days, he hadn’t been able to talk of anything but his big weekend with his dad. Thankfully, when she’d called Edward last night, he’d assured her the plans were still on. So, maybe he was finally willing to make an effort with Dylan.
“He’s here!” Dylan shouted from the loft just as she entered the cabin’s main room. Her stomach lurched as it always did at the thought of facing Edward. “Daddy’s here! He really came!” Dylan clambered down the ladder.
“Dylan, wait!” She rushed forward and grabbed him before he could dash out the door. With shaky hands, she tucked in his shirt and ran her fingers through his hair. A lecture sprang to her lips about how he shouldn’t talk Edward’s ears off, or get too excited, because it got on Edward’s nerves. Then thinking of how many years she’d curbed her own behavior in a useless effort to fit someone else’s idea of how she should act, she pushed the words aside and gave her son a beaming smile. “I have one bit of advice for you this weekend.”
“Yeah, I know. Play it cool.” He rolled his eyes, since she’d given him the lecture several times in the past.
“Nope.” She kissed his forehead. Edward would either accept Dylan or he wouldn’t. That was up to him. The time had come for her to stop trying to mold her son into something he wasn’t to please someone else. “I want you to have a great time. Okay?”
“You bet!” With a loud whoop, Dylan charged out the door and leapt from the front porch just as Edward climbed out of the sleek black Lexus. His tall, slim elegance hadn’t diminished over the years. Instead, it had developed an extra sheen of polish.
The exterior did nothing to stir her.
“Hey, Dad, you wanna see my new computer game? Mom got it for me ’cause I made an A on my math test. It’s really cool and I already beat her highest score.”
“Still the little egghead, eh, Dill-man?” Edward held his hands out, not to greet his son, but to fend him off before he could scuff the Italian loafers.
Watching from the porch, Kate held her hands together, prayer-like, silently willing Edward to show some genuine happiness about seeing his son. Instead, he looked as impatient as ever as Dylan continued in a headlong rush about his new computer game.
Dylan’s breath turned ragged with e
xcitement. Oh, please don’t let him have an asthma attack this weekend. At last Edward smiled, which she took as a good sign. Then he reached out a hand and rumpled his son’s hair, and her heart warmed. They looked so good together, even if Dylan was a paler, thinner version of what his father must have been at that age.
“So,” Dylan asked, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, “you wanna come in and see it?”
“Some other time, perhaps.” Edward glanced at his watch. “Right now we need to run if we’re going to have time to eat lunch and still make it to the game.”
“We’re really going to a baseball game?” Dylan asked. “We’re going to see the Longhorns?”
“Certainly.” Edward managed another smile that appeared only a little forced around the edges. “Afterward, I’ll take you to see your Grandma Anne and Grandpa Henry.”
“Ah, Dad…” Dylan’s shoulders sagged. “Do we have to go see ’em?”
“They’re your grandparents, Dylan.” A touch of impatience entered Edward’s voice. “Of course you’ll want to see them. Now get your things before you make us late.”
Kate bit her tongue to keep from echoing Dylan’s sentiments about visiting his grandparents. Just because she’d never gotten along with her in-laws didn’t mean her son wouldn’t.
With the resilience of youth, Dylan’s enthusiasm returned full force as he rushed inside for his things, leaving the two adults alone.
Edward hesitated a moment, then removed his sunglasses and came to stand at the bottom of the steps. The sunlight added sharpness to his angular features. “Hello, Kate.”
“Edward,” she said, looking down on him from the added height of the porch. He jiggled the keys in his pocket, and for the first time, she wondered if these meetings distressed him as much as they did her.
His piercing blue gaze flickered over the yellow sundress she knew complemented both her figure and coloring.
“You’re looking good,” he said at last.
“Why… thank you, Edward,” she said, surprised by the compliment. Was that a hint of regret she saw in his eyes? Too late, she thought. “Why don’t you come inside while I get the instructions for Dylan’s medicine? He’s been a bit wheezy today, so you’ll need to watch him closely.”
“Are you sure he’s up to this?”
“He’s up to it,” she said, trying again to read him. Was that concern for Dylan or hope for an excuse to cancel the weekend? She’d misread him so many times, she didn’t know what to think anymore. Turning, she led the way inside.
“I can’t believe you’re still living in this little place,” he said as he stepped over the threshold. “I’d think, with the amount of child support I pay, you could afford more.”
That quickly, any softening she’d felt for him vanished.
“It suits me.” She smiled as she rechecked the bag of medicine she’d packed along with the nebulizer. Truthfully, she longed for the day when she could afford a real house where her son could have a room of his own. As for Edward’s child support, they both knew it didn’t come close to what he should be paying. But then, Edward was a master at making himself look poor on paper when it suited his purpose.
As he crossed to the window that looked out over the lake, she wondered what had ever happened to the college boy she’d fallen in love with, the one who had actually cared about something other than impressing others. Or at least pretended to.
“You know,” he said, ducking his head to see the hills surrounding the water. “I bet the land around here would be worth a bundle if someone tore down all the shacks and hauled off the mobile homes. Maybe put in a gated community with a greenbelt along the waterfront.”
“Dabbling in real estate these days?” she asked.
“It’s a thought.” He shrugged.
Shaking her head, she tore a sheet off a note pad. “Here’s a list of Dylan’s prescriptions and how each one should be taken. Do you remember how to use the nebulizer?”
He gave a sigh of exasperation as she hefted the machine off the counter. “Is it necessary for me to lug that thing around? He’s only staying with me one night.”
“You know as well as I do that a lot can happen in one night. I want you to promise me that if he starts wheezing, you’ll make him use it.”
“Kate,” he said, giving her a bland look. “You’re hovering.”
“I’m not hovering.”
“You always hover over him. You’re so overprotective, you’re going to turn him into a namby-pamby. My parents didn’t hover over me, and I turned out fine.”
She started to point out that his parents had been so wrapped up in their own worlds—his father with his investments and golf, and his mother with her women’s club—that they’d ignored him. As for him turning out fine, that was debatable. He’d turned out as a man who couldn’t emotionally connect with others.
His use of the word overprotective stopped her, however. It echoed what Linda had said numerous times. Maybe Linda was right. Maybe she did need to back off. Dylan had grown from a fragile, vulnerable baby, to a little boy eager to embrace life. He got that last from her, and she wanted him to enjoy it.
“All right.” She held up her hands in a gesture of backing off. “Just promise me you’ll pay attention.”
“Of course,” he said as he took the machine from her.
“I’ve also written down Linda’s phone number. If for any reason something comes up with Dylan and you can’t get a hold of me, she’s babysat enough times to know how to handle just about anything.”
“Is there any reason why you wouldn’t be here?” Taking the note, he gave her a baffled frown. Did he really find it that hard to believe she might have something interesting in her life? Why wouldn’t he doubt it, though? She’d withdrawn so much that, for a while, she hadn’t had a life.
“Oh, I don’t know…” She trailed a hand through the air, determined to shake his view of her just a bit. “Maybe I have some hot plans, since I’ll be a free woman all weekend.”
“I see.” His brow lifted in surprise, but the skepticism remained.
“Okay!” Dylan shouted as he struggled down the ladder with his backpack over one arm and a stack of books and toys under the other. “I’m ready.”
Kate turned to give him a hug. “You have fun at the game, okay?”
“Okay. See ya.” Dylan wiggled out of her arms and hurried for the door. “Come on, Dad!”
With a resigned sigh, Edward carried his own load toward the car. “Dylan, wait,” he called. “Wipe your feet before you get in. Jeez, I just had the car detailed.”
Kate went to stand on the porch, calling a final goodbye as Edward loaded the nebulizer and Dylan into the backseat. Everything would be fine, she told herself as they pulled out of the drive and the car disappeared around a row of cedar trees and a rusted barbed-wire fence. She remained on the porch a moment, her heart already aching to have her son back even though she’d wanted him to have this weekend with his dad.
When the sound of the car had faded, she went inside, feeling at loose ends. As much to get her mind off Dylan as anything else, she settled back in front of the computer to finish answering Dear Cupid email. Always a refuge, it would help her through the next two days.
When she’d finished her response to Friend in Love, she clicked over to the website to see if they’d posted her latest article on role-playing between lovers. To her surprise, a line of text appeared on the screen saying “Address Not Found.” Wondering if the bookmark had broken, she typed in the address. The same message appeared. Could the server be down? She opened the main page for Gwendolyn’s Garden, just to check. The site came up fine, but she noticed they’d changed the sidebar and had forgotten to include the link to her page. Curious, she typed in her URL again, and received the same message: “Address Not Found.”
She sat a moment, staring at the screen as a sense of foreboding settled over her. Reaching for the phone, she dialed Gwen’s office in L.A., knowing her fri
end would be at work, even on a Saturday.
“Gwendolyn’s Garden. Gwen speaking.”
“Gwen?” she said, somehow relieved by the mere sound of her friend’s voice. “It’s Kate.”
“Kate? Oh… hi.” Gwen sounded a bit uncomfortable, but not alarmingly so.
“I just went to access my page and got some silly message about the address not being found.”
Silence.
“Gwen?”
“Oh, dear.” A heavy sigh came over the line, and the bottom fell out of Kate’s stomach. God, no, please no. “Kate, I—I’m sorry. I told the website team not to upload the changes until I’d talked to you personally, but you’ve been out for days, and I didn’t want to leave a message about something like this. I guess they got tired of waiting.”
“You could have called my mobile.”
“I didn’t want to tell you this if you were out in public.”
“T-tell me what?” Kate asked even though she knew. She pressed a finger to her lips to keep them from trembling.
“At our last staff meeting, we all decided the magazine needed a little revamping, something fresher. You know, younger, trendier. Using the cupid column to draw traffic is becoming passé.”
“I s-see,” Kate managed as a lead ball slammed into her stomach.
“It’s nothing personal, Kate. In fact, your site seems to be gaining hits again.”
“I don’t understand. If it’s gaining hits, why are you canceling it? Is this because of what happened last Monday with the animation?”
“No, it’s not. Even though I am still angry about that.”
“Then what? You said if I eased off the male-bashing, you’d keep my column.”
“I know. And you’ve done an excellent job this past week. In fact, I really loved your last piece on role-playing.”
“Then why did you take my page down?” she demanded as anger swirled with agony.
“Kate,” Gwen sighed. “The truth is, even though your number of hits are up, your site isn’t generating sales for our advertisers. People are signing directly on and off your page, without even clicking through to the main site.”
Good Guy Heroes Boxed Set Page 15
