“I could be,” he insisted. “If you’d quit throwing barriers between us.”
“What are you saying?” She shook her head. “We talked about this. I told you not to put me on your mental list of possible wives, and you insisted you hadn’t.”
“Because there was never a list,” he shot back. “There was only you. Right from the start.”
A longing that matched her own filled his eyes as he looked at her. For one instant, her heart leapt with joy.
Until the reality of his words hit her and she stumbled back a step. “Oh, my God.” Looking away, she tried to get her bearings as memories spun through her head. “You lied to me. You hired me to help you find a wife, and it was all a lie.”
“The part about wanting a wife wasn’t a lie. I just never told you that you are the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry.”
“I asked you point blank if you were looking at me that way and you said no. That’s not omission. It was a blatant lie.”
“You didn’t give me much choice!”
“Are you insane?”
“Okay, I admit it. I’m insane. Because…” He took a deep breath as if building up courage. “I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you in L.A.”
“You expect me to believe you fell in love with me at first sight?” She gaped at him. “Right after you admit you’ve been lying to me from the start?”
“Yes! Because it’s true! Which is why I had to lie. I couldn’t think of what else to do.” Desperation lined his face. “You made it obvious you’d turn me down if I asked you out. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. You were so damned scared of getting hurt again that no man stood a chance with you. That was then, though. You’ve changed.”
“Because I’d started to believe I could trust you.” Turning away, she wrapped her arms around herself. The move did little to stop the shivering. “I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for that ridiculous story about you needing help to find a wife.”
“I was the stupid one, and I’m so sorry.” He came up behind her and she closed her eyes as he rested his hands on her shoulders. “I didn’t know what else to do.” His hands squeezed her shoulders. “I love you, Kate. I want to marry you.”
A painful laugh shook her chest. The tender words and the yearning with which he spoke them sounded so tempting. Shaking her head, she faced him. “I can’t marry you, Mike. I made the mistake of being a convenience once, and I won’t do it again.”
“Convenience?” His stared at her. “Is that what you think you are to me? Trust me, Kate, you are anything but a convenience.”
“You told me the very first time I came here that you’d decided it was time for you to get married. I happened to be handy, so why not me? How much more convenient could it get?”
“That is not how it happened!”
“Getting married isn’t like buying clothes, even though you apparently take the same approach to both.”
“That is not true!”
“What else am I supposed to believe when you claim you fell in love with me at first sight, then propose marriage after you’ve known me all of three weeks?”
“What does that matter?” He ran his hands through his hair. “Is there some rule about how long it takes to fall in love? One year? Two years? Ten? Why can’t it happen the instant two people meet?”
“I don’t know!” Tears clogged her throat at the thought that all this time, while she’d been falling in love with him, he’d been picking out a wife the same way he picked out his shirts. And she had fallen in love with him, dammit! Which made the truth hurt even more. “I can’t trust you, Mike. Which means, I can’t see you any more.”
“What?” His face went blank as he stared at her. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do. I have to go.” Battling tears, she forced her body turn and take a step toward the car when everything in her longed to stay. Despite everything, her heart wanted to believe him.
“Wait a second.” He caught her arm and moved in front of her. “You can’t just walk away like this. We’re good together. You’ve got to see that. Maybe I didn’t tell you the truth right away, but I’m telling you now. I love you!”
“Please don’t do this to me.” Pain tore through her as she fought the urge to fling her arms around him and hold on tight until his words became true. “Please. I can’t take it.” She fled to the car and climbed inside, her whole body shaking.
“Mom?” Dylan mumbled sleepily from the back seat. “Are we home?”
“Not yet, baby,” she managed with trembling lips. “Go on back to sleep. We’ll be home in a minute.”
She cast Mike one last agonized look and found him standing by the door as if devastated. Looking away, she backed out of the driveway. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she drove. When she reached the driveway to her cabin, blind impulse made her continue up the hill toward Linda’s house. She needed a friend to tell her she’d done the right thing, even though she felt as if she’d just torn out a part of herself and thrown it away.
Gathering her sleepy son into her arms, she let herself in the house without bothering to knock.
“Linda!” she whispered as loudly as she dared, trying to not wake Dylan. As she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she found her friend standing before the freezer holding a carton of ice cream.
When Linda turned and saw her, she dropped the ice cream on the counter and rushed forward. “Kate, what is it? What’s happened?”
“Michael Cameron just told me”—she swallowed back a sob—“he’s in love with me.”
“That’s wonderful!” Linda exclaimed, then frowned. “Isn’t it?”
“No! It’s terrible.”
“Why?” Linda asked.
Rather than answer, Kate carried Dylan to the couch and laid him down. Thankfully, he relaxed back into sleep as if boneless. She kissed his forehead and caught the faint smell of dust and horse that clung to him. How had the day started so wonderfully, and then ended in disaster?
“Kate?” Linda’s voice revealed a wealth of concern. “Come sit down before you fall down.” Linda guided her over to the breakfast bar and onto a stool. “Now, tell me everything that happened.”
“I don’t know what happened. I thought everything was going fine. That Mike and I were ‘no strings attached.’ Turns out all along he was thinking”—she glanced at her son and lowered her voice—“he was thinking the M-word.”
“Are you saying he proposed?”
“In a way.”
“And?” Linda’s eyes shone with delight. “What did you say?”
“That I couldn’t see him anymore.”
“Wait a second.” Linda held up a hand in the manner of an adult reasoning with a child. “He said he wanted to marry you, and you told him to jump in the lake?”
“Basically.” She covered her mouth to hold the anguish in.
“Oh, well, it all makes perfect sense.” Pressing a hand to the side of her stomach to adjust the baby, Linda went back for the ice cream and pried off the lid.
“The problem is, he lied to me. He’s been wanting to get M-ed right from the beginning.”
“We knew that. That’s why he hired you.”
“No, he wanted to M me right from the beginning. He claims he fell in love with me at first sight and wanted to date me, but knew I wouldn’t go out with him. So hiring me was all a ruse so he could spend time with me.”
“Oh my God.” Linda’s face went soft as she covered her heart. “That’s so romantic.”
“What?” Kate gaped at her. “Did you not hear the part about him lying to me?”
“So he could spend time with you,” Linda argued, still looking dreamy. “Because he’s in love with you.”
“How do I know that’s not a lie, too?”
“Why would he go to such lengths if he wasn’t in love?”
Kate’s heart fluttered with hope. Could he really have been telling the truth? His devastated expression before she’
d driven away certainly looked like a man who’s heart had just been broken. Did she dare believe? “What if he only thinks he’s in love? Even if he is, I’m not ready to get M-ed. Not again.”
“Why not? Because you made a bad choice the first time?” Grabbing a second spoon, Linda held the ice cream out to Kate so they could both eat out of the carton. “How do you know Mike isn’t the right choice?”
“Because…” Kate started to refuse the ice cream, then saw it was rocky road. Chocolate, nuts, marshmallows? Why the hell not? “Because he’s looking for a wife.”
“So?” Linda frowned.
“He’s in love with the idea of being M-ed. He has no clue about the reality. So, how do I know he’s even attracted to me as something more than a role-filler?”
“From the smile you’ve been wearing the last couple of weeks, I’d say the attraction was pretty genuine, and very mutual.” Linda wiggled her brows suggestively.
“Okay, yes, there is that.” Kate blushed as memories swirled through her mind. “But what if that’s all there is for him?”
Linda nodded in thought as she savored a spoonful of rocky road. “I guess you could do what you tell everyone else to do—listen to your gut. What does it say?”
Kate frowned as she dug out a spoonful of ice cream with a shaky hand. Everything inside her wanted to believe Mike loved her. Even if he did, though, that wasn’t the only issue. She still had Dylan to protect. If she made a mistake, her heart wouldn’t be the only one broken. “It’s just happening too fast. How do I know he’s serious? Even if he is, how do I know it will work?”
“Heck if I know,” Linda smirked. “At the moment, I wish I’d told Jim to jump in the lake when he asked me to marry him.”
“What?” Kate nearly dropped her spoon. “Good heavens, Linda, you can’t mean that.”
“Oh, yes I can. You wouldn’t believe what a jerk Jim is being over this baby. He didn’t object at all when I told him I wanted to start a family, but now that it’s too late to go back, he spends all his time in that dang shop avoiding me. I swear, I’m going to burn the thing to the ground. If he didn’t want this baby, why didn’t he just tell me?”
“Linda!” Kate gaped at her friend. “I told you that’s nonsense.”
“It’s not!” Linda stabbed at the ice cream with her spoon. “He’s changed his mind about having a baby, but doesn’t have the guts to tell me.”
“Just because he’s acting strange doesn’t mean he doesn’t want the baby. Men just have a different way of dealing with things—”
“They certainly do. And they have the gall to say we’re the illogical ones.” Linda waved her full spoon for emphasis. “Like the way Jim makes me feel as if getting pregnant was all my fault. As if I got this way by myself. Can you believe that?”
“Of some men, yes. But Jim’s not like that. Surely.”
“Oh, yes he is. You know, now that I think of it, maybe you have the right idea, Kate. Maybe we should avoid the cretins completely.”
“I didn’t say that—”
“You know what I think?” Linda took a bite of ice cream. “I think we’d all be better off if we divided the world in half and made all the men live in their camp, while we lived in ours.” Linda licked her spoon with relish. “Of course, they’d all be living in caves and running around naked within a week. That is, if they didn’t starve to death, since there wouldn’t be anyone around to cook whatever meat they dragged home.”
As if on cue, Jim came up the stairs, his heavy bootsteps waking Dylan. “Hi, baby,” he said to Linda, removing his tool belt. Linda gave Kate a see-what-I-mean look as he skirted her and headed straight for the Crock-Pot. “What’s for dinner?” He lifted the lid. The tangy scent of lemon and thyme rose with the steam. “Oh, man, don’t tell me we’re having chicken again.”
“No.” Linda jerked the lid out of his hand and slammed it back down on the pot. “I’m having chicken. You’re having sawdust!”
“Sawdust?” He gave her a wary frown.
“And nails.” Linda’s eyes blazed. “With wood-glue sauce.”
“Uh, baby,” Jim said, stepping back, “are you sure you’re feeling all right?”
“No, I’m not feeling all right.” To Kate’s surprise, her friend blinked rapidly against a swell of tears. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dylan climb onto the stool next to her, looking sleepy and confused.
Jim glanced at Kate, then back at his wife. “Maybe I should leave you two women alone. Dylan, what do you say? You want to go sand some wood?”
“Don’t you dare move, Dylan,” Linda said, and Dylan froze. “I refuse to let you be corrupted by Neanderthal testosterone. You, on the other hand”—she pointed to her husband—“can sleep out in the workshop for all I care.”
“What?” His voice rose with alarm.
“I mean it, Jim, I want you out of my house, and I don’t want you back until you’re ready to act like my husband.”
“I do act like your husband!” He flattened his hands against his chest, the picture of wounded innocence.
“No, you don’t!” she railed at him, sniffing back tears. “You act like all those other husbands I hear about, not the one I married.”
“Sweetie,” he pleaded, awkwardly moving toward her. “What’s this about?”
“Don’t you touch me!” She fended him off with her spoon. “I mean it, Jim. You haven’t touched me in weeks, so don’t you dare touch me now. Not unless you mean it.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the way you’ve been hiding out in your workshop for weeks rather than face me and the baby. Well, if you enjoy avoiding us so much, you can just move out there. Permanently!”
“Well, if this is the gratitude I get for working so hard, maybe I will!” He grabbed his tool belt.
“Fine! Just don’t try sneaking back in here tonight.”
“Don’t worry!” he declared as he stomped toward the door. “The last thing I want is to get my head chewed off by someone who doesn’t make a lick of sense.”
“I do too make sense!” she shouted as he slammed the door behind him. Then quieter, to herself, she added, “It’s men who don’t make sense.”
“Mom?” Dylan asked softly, “Since I’m a boy, do I have to leave too?”
“Oh, no, honey.” She hugged him, equally startled by Linda’s outburst. “We wouldn’t think of banishing you.”
“Certainly not.” Linda sniffed. “It’s our duty as women to save at least one young male from the evil influence of grown men.”
“Oh,” Dylan said, and Kate wasn’t sure if he looked relieved or disappointed at the prospect of being saved.
Chapter 22
*
WHEN MIKE HEARD the doorbell, he let out a curse. The last thing he wanted was an interruption—his work wasn’t going anywhere, but at least it shielded him a little from the pain gripping his chest.
Kate had dumped him. God, how had he screwed things up this badly?
Then he realized it could be Kate at the door, coming back to talk. He hit the save command on the computer and took the stairs two at a time, his heart racing with hope.
Instead of Kate, he found Jim standing on the doorstep, looking fit to chew nails. “What are you doing here?”
“I decided to get started prepping the living room walls for paint,” Jim growled back.
“On a Sunday?”
“What does that matter? I can’t go to my own house anymore, so I might as well just keep working round the clock.”
“Another fight with the pregnant wife, I take it?” Mike asked, feeling slightly better now that he wasn’t the only miserable sot in the world.
“Something like that,” Jim mumbled at his boots.
“Well, come on in, but forget work.” Mike headed toward the kitchen. “After the day I’ve had, the only thing I’m in the mood to do is get drunk.”
“Sounds good to me.” Jim took a seat on one of the ne
w bar stools, making it creak beneath his bulk. “So why are you getting drunk?”
“Because women are the most exasperating, stubborn, illogical creatures on the planet.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
Mike perused the cabinets to see what he had left from the last time he’d thrown a party. “You want vodka, bourbon, or gin?”
“Bourbon.”
“Good. That leaves more gin for me.” He managed to find two highball glasses that didn’t have chips and went to the freezer for ice. As he poured the drinks, he noticed the glasses didn’t match, since Kate hadn’t picked up the set she’d selected yet. He guessed he could kiss that purchase goodbye. Not that he minded drinking out of glasses that didn’t match, but he would have enjoyed owning a set that did.
He handed Jim a drink and clicked the rims together in a toast. “To women. May they all fall off the edge of the earth.”
Jim grunted and tossed back a healthy swallow. Lowering the glass, he studied the amber liquid that remained. “So, how long you figure it takes a woman to cool off once she’s good and riled?”
“Depends on the woman.” Mike savored the sharp taste of gin and tonic on his tongue. “Is she as stubborn as Kate?”
Jim laughed. “No woman is as stubborn as Kate, but purt near.”
“Then I’d say you may be here a while.”
“No.” Jim heaved a sigh. “I can’t crash in on your evening. If I’m not going to do any work, I’ll just finish this, then head over to my sister’s. She’ll put me up for the night.”
“Forget that. You think I want to sit here and drink alone?” Mike glanced around in search of a way to spend the evening. His gaze landed on the big-screen TV and the cabinet of movies beside it. He had everything from old black-and-whites to the latest blockbusters. “How about we order a pizza and have a Star Trek marathon?”
Jim narrowed his eyes. “The old Star Trek, or one of the new ones?”
“The original, of course. I have the entire series.”
“Really?” Jim brightened. “I’d have pegged you as a guy who went in for all those fancy new special effects.”
Good Guy Heroes Boxed Set Page 23
