Dirty Sheets & Heartbeats
I WAS EXPECTING MY bones to scream at me this morning, much the same as my head was pounding behind my skull, but instead I was comfortable. Wrapped up in something snuggly. I didn’t remember coming to bed last night, the last I remember was....
Oh shit.
Snapping my eyes open I sit upright, my bed covers falling down and revealing my bra. I remember drinking and playing that game with Reid, the slight tenderness between my legs reminding me of the delicious way he’d taken me like an animal on my living room floor. The way he’d felt inside me, his slick skin beneath my fingertips, I don’t know how long we’d lain there, but we both must have fallen asleep. The space next to me is empty, the sheets devoid of his luscious scent, so I tip toe out to the living room in the hopes that he’s just grabbing a coffee. It’s spotless, all of the cups we’d used to play last night are washed and drying by the sink, the empty bottle of jack sticking out of the trash can. Two paracetamols lie on my island with a piece of paper that’s been ripped out of one of my thousands of notebooks stacked neatly in the corner beneath them.
Sorry. R
I frown a little, wondering what he’s sorry for. I had a fun night, I wasn’t expecting anything from him. Okay, the sex was obviously a fan-fucking-tastic bonus but we’re both adults. Adults who like sex, there’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand is there? Granted, it might be slightly awkward when we bump into each other, but how often will that be?
It was stupid really, I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to talk to me, not so comfortable that I’d let him get between my legs at the first chance, but at least now we’d broken that barrier.
I down the two tablets with a glass of water before changing into my bikini and grabbing my board. There was nothing better than fresh sea air to clear a cloudy head and besides what was the point on dwelling on something I couldn’t change? I’d learnt that lesson a few months after Kaine had left and it had taught me valuable life lesson ever since.
Bouncing down the steps, yesterday’s rain was long forgotten, and the little street was busy. People on bikes whizzed past going down to the beach, while others window shopped, it put a smile on my face. I’d had a fun night, chatted and played, in more ways than one with Reid, had mind-blowing sex and now I was heading for a surf. What more could a girl ask for?
I pop my head into Moonbeam, giving Rach a quick wave.
“Just going for a swim, won’t be long!” I holler as she finishes packing up a customer’s bag.
“Yes ma’am” she salutes me making me laugh.
I skip towards the front, bouncing my board under my arm and being sure not to smack any unsuspecting tourists as I go. The sun is high in the sky, bouncing off the too blue water. A few swells move towards the shore, nothing too exciting this morning, but just enough to give me a good ride.
I push the point of my board into the soft sand before pulling my wet suit up over my bikini top and somehow manage to pull the zipper up my back. Salt air assaults my nose as I grab my board and secure it to my ankle with the strap. My blood hums with excitement, the way it usually does whenever I’m near water. It was a safe haven for me, far away from the reality of life, far away from technology and people. It was always just me and the water, the way it felt against my skin, alive and free. It did something to me, from that very first time I even dipped a toe into the water when Mama brought me to the beach, I knew it was my calling.
I balance on my board, the wood beneath my torso, pressing into my skin and grounding me like nothing else. I never understood it but when I was on the water, the salt sinking into my skin I felt safe, alive even. There’s no trauma in my life that would drive me away from the shore, nothing to push me away from the people of Delia, but out here, I felt alone. Like I’d always wanted to be when I was younger, away from the overbearing mother I now adore more than anything, away from the shitheads at school and away from the high school boyfriend who promised me the world and ended up moving to another country. Maybe that was the whole reason I felt so attached to Reid already, we could be alone together. In a world with such high expectations we could just be us.
I’d mended my broken heart by partying hard, finding Rach when she’d moved down to town, partying even harder with her for a few months before opening Moonbeam. The breakup itself had turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened for me.
The water rises in the distance, forcing me to concentrate on the tide. I push up on my board, readying my body to jump up and surf this wave as if my life depended on it. In reality it probably did, surfing was no easy fit, even with a lifeguard qualification behind you. Mama had forced me to take the class at the local pool one summer, given that I spent majority of my time in water, she grew paranoid that I couldn’t save myself let alone someone else.
I could save you...if I wanted to. I knew how to swim a body to shore, living or dead. I knew CPR and how to get the water out of your lungs. I knew to call nine-one-one and practice chest compressions until you regained consciousness.
As I climbed to my feet I wondered what it would be like to hold your breath beneath the waves, what would you feel? Euphoria? Frightened?
Of course, I’d held my breath many times before but never to the point of wanting to end it all. I’d witnessed it within my own time, the fear and pain in the water, but none of that mounted to what I saw in Reid’s eyes last night. The adoration and torture there almost broke me in two. I’d let him into my apartment, into my life, into my...well me and he’d taken it all like his life depended on it.
As I rode the water, closing the distance between me and the shore, the pull I had to him came alive. It was as if my body knew he was here and I could do fuck all to stop it. The way he’d been last night, vulnerable and open...it split me open too. I had this intense need to be with him...to hold him at least. No one could feel that pain and not need someone else to help them carry the burden.
Don’t get me wrong, of course I’d experienced hurt before, but I’m sure that was nothing in comparison to what Reid was feeling. That darkness that seemed to emanate from his inked skin told me that. Whoever hurt him was someone special, someone he held close to his heart. The second we locked eyes I felt it, he radiated hatred whenever he was around, but I knew deep down he didn’t mean it. Call it my sixth sense or whatever but I knew Reid was hurting and was acting out on his emotions...it wasn’t who he was...not really anyway and I just hoped that someday he’d be brave enough to tell me because right now, all we had between us was this raw sexual tension coupled with heavy heartbeats and my dirty sheets.
I braced my weight against the board as the wave caught behind me, the current forcing me forward urging every ounce of my blood to the surface, my face flushing against the heat of the sun, my body working the water as if it was my second nature. I was born to surf, I was born for Reid.
What the F was I thinking?
One night and here I was surfing the purest waters in the US of A and I was thinking about the quick fuck we’d shared last night.
It wasn’t just a quick fuck though was it?
It was all consuming. Orgasmic pleasure that Reid had practically forced down my throat the second he put his cock inside me. Yes, I’m a woman, Yes, I’ve had sex before but last night was another level. I let the visions of Reid above me cloud my mind as the swell of the water comes to an end, the usual rush I get from it doesn’t happen, so I turn around and wait for the next wave. The Sky turns dark as a cloud passes over the sun, taking my happy mood along with it. I paddle my arms a little, seeing the water rising in the distance. Grey clouds are on the horizon, and the wind is picking up. Good old Delia weather, we’ve had a good few months of blaring heat and the rain is proof enough that the summer is almost over.
I missed the next swell as it washed under my board, pissing me off even more.
Why the fuck can’t I stop thinking about him?
It was just sex. That was all.
It was his eyes I realized as I looked into the darkening waters beneath me that had drawn me into him. The sea floor barely visible among the green rocks jutting out here and there.
The moss waving about in the current reminded me of his eyes, the way they changed color, the hidden depths to them just like the sea. I could swim in his eyes for days, get lost in all the secrets he wouldn’t tell me. It was a dangerous place to venture with Reid, I already knew that, but there was a part of me that had already grown attached, I had to help him. I could feel it in my bones. Reid was lost and everyone who was lost wanted to be found eventually, even if they didn’t realize it themselves.
I’d noticed it that first night at the bar, when his mop of black hair had popped up from behind the counter. In a room full of people, most of them chatting and laughing, Reid still looked so lost, so alone even as he was surrounded by one of the biggest families you could ever be a part of.
Granted, I probably shouldn’t have slept with him if what he needs in life right now is a friend, but I don’t regret it. We’re both adults we can suck up our ego and get along. I’ll make him be my friend, the arrogance won’t shove me away anyway. I’m about to be his worst nightmare.
Surf Boards & Music Chords
THE DAY GOES BY AS it always fucking does. Same shit show on repeat every twenty-four hours. Only this morning I’d woken up in Luna’s bed aside from my own. I hated myself when I left her apartment this morning. I hated myself even more when I walked back to the cabin and scrubbed my skin until her drugging scent finally felt like a distant memory. It was torture. I’d carried her to bed and wrapped her up in her duvet before standing there for a few seconds just looking at her. Luna is a pure beautiful woman who should never ever be with a dirty, scarred soul like me. The fact that she’d let me put my dick in her was wrong, but even now, hours later when I’d washed away her sweet smell and her juices from my body I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I’m a thousand percent sure that the second she glanced into my eyes was the same second my heart started beating again and what kind of pussy-shit is that? I don’t do feelings, not anymore. I’d shoved the idea of moving away from her shop out of my head. She’d know if I was avoiding her. That damned quick mouth of hers could chew you up and spit you back out again without even trying. I was done being someone’s lamb chop. I’d been eaten alive and vomited back up one too many times in my mere twenty-six-year existence and I wasn’t about to let this little dove peck at me continuously until I gave in to her unspoken questions.
Besides I wasn’t going to lie and say it wasn’t nice knowing someone in Delia besides the old timer who’d dragged me here in the first place. I wasn’t a coward, we fucked, I’d just have to get over it because we sure as hell wouldn’t be doing it again.
I’ll tell you something, I’ve become an expert at lying to myself over the years, if you lie enough you eventually come to believe it as the truth, and the truth to me was I was fine. Plodding along nicely without a care in the world. The grumpy, loner with little to no words to say to anyone.
The sun was high in the sky when I’d sat my ass down on the cobble stoned street, but the dark clouds looming over the sea threatened more rain. That reminded me that I needed to head back to the car dealership and ask after that bike. My busking was doing good, I’d already earned a good few dollars and I was hoping and praying that getting my hands on that shiny new toy would put me out danger of having Luna pick me up in her pretty-girl Chevy.
Who was this chick anyway?
Some prim and proper daddy’s girl who owned her little boutique so obviously purchased using daddy dearest buck?
I hadn’t seen any evidence of her of her Pop at her Mama’s house the other but then again, I hadn’t set out looking. No doubt, living in a town like this with a shop as beautiful and grand as hers, her daddy must be the bees the knees.
I wasn’t someone who was privy to town gossip owing that I hardly said a word to anyone. I didn’t care about other people, but Luna? I had an irritating itch to know everything I could about her.
The annoying bell above her all glass door chimes for the millionth time today, her stream of customers has been nonstop all day long, luckily, I haven’t seen her, just another girl who I’m assuming works here when she snuck off to grab a coffee. It was the same chick I’d seen with Luna that first night at the bar, but I didn’t stop playing to ask her that.
Instead, I kept going until my fingertips starting to ache and I knew I’d be spilling blood all over my strings if I didn’t quit soon.
Hell, if I know what Luna even sells in there, aside from the small stack of vintage looking surf boards out front and the concoction of spicy smells that waft out every time the door swings on its hinges, it could be a whacky-backy shop, or a genuine surf shop. Though the things I clocked in her apartment last night made me doubt it was all about surfing.
The chick is crazy, she’s probably a pot-head like me. The rest of the stores along the street are much the same yet different at the same time. None of them have the quaint handmade sign in the window like Moonbeam does, or the pretty summertime display that Luna probably spent hours putting together in their windows.
“You can quit being a jerk anytime now”
Her sweet voice washes above my head, the sound nestling into my ears as she takes a seat next to me on the floor. Don’t look. Do not fucking move your eyes.
Of course, I look. It’s impossible not to around this woman. Her sweet floral scent washes up my nose and I stupidly inhale more of it. My lungs inflate with the delicate scent of innocence, so much so that I almost choke on it. The same scent I’d tried to scrub off my skin for hours in the shower this morning. Drinking a can of some low fat, no sugar, no fucking anything, she keeps her beautiful dark blue eyes trained in front of her.
Good, don’t look at me.
I flick my eyes from her high cheekbones and take the chance of not getting caught and glance at her full round breasts. The same ones I’d had between my teeth just last night are screaming at me to lick and suck on them again. The tiny string strap vest top she has on is barely containing them. My palms itch to squeeze them, but I keep them firmly rooted on my strings, the tune I was playing quieter now. Bringing the can to her full lips again I watch as the condensation dribbles down the side making my mouth water. Or is just her? My tongue feels fuzzy and too big for my mouth as my fingers continue to strum the strings on my guitar, words fail me as her taste assaults my senses, the way her skin had tasted was like heaven and hell. I loved it and hated that I wanted more of it.
“Maybe I’m a Jerk all the time” I shrug before slowing my rhythm and pulling the strap from around my neck. I place Aurora into her case and reach for the can this blonde-haired nightmare placed next to me.
The sound of me opening the can is the only noise between us, the bustling street carries on as if we aren’t even here. That’s the way it’s been for me for years now. I’m just existing. A mere shadow in the already dark corner of the street, the same one no one dares go in the off chance they may get raped or murdered. That’s me. The monster lurking in the dark.
The sour lemon taste makes me wince and I struggle to swallow the acid this woman just gave me to drink.
“What the fuck is that?” I ask, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Lemonade” she shrugs, her big blue eyes bugging out at me and looking at me like I’m crazy.
“I gathered that” I shake my head, placing the drink next to me again and accidentally brushing my fingers across her short clad thigh. Does this girl ever wear anything longer than her fucking knees? Ankles would be preferable.
Electricity flows from my inked fingers right up to my cracked chest. Just a touch and she has me on fucking fire. Clearing my throat, I shuffle a little away from her, the risk of touching her again has me twitching.
“Isn’t there supposed to be sugar in Lemonade? Not just pure acid?”
“There’s no pleasing you is
there” she laughs a little, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her own can.
“A simple beer would have been fine” I bend my knees before resting my elbows on them and turning my head slightly in her direction.
“In the middle of the day?” she asks, a look of slight disgust on her face.
“Why not” I shrug, my shoulders stretching out the fabric of my denim jacket.
“Whatever City Boy” she tuts, her beautiful blonde hair whipping around her face just slightly in the breeze.
“Stop calling me that” I grit. City Boy has long fucking gone, he died ten years ago, but of course I don’t tell her that. What’s the fucking point?
“What? City Boy? You are a city boy are you not?” she throws her long locks over one shoulder before facing me, her own can of lemonade dripping with condensation between her delicate fingertips. The same fingers that left claw-like marks in my back just this morning that I’m pretty damn sure she has at least a half of my DNA under there.
“Not anymore”
“Why?”
“Stop asking so many questions” I pierce her with my best don’t fuck with me look and she rolls her tongue around her mouth, debating whether or not she’s going to stop talking or argue with me like I know she really wants to. My head swims with the things we did last night, the taste, the smell, the feeling of her clenching around me and God how wet she grew. I have to forcefully squeeze my eyes shut as the vision blurs the street in front of me, the grey cobblestone street becoming Luna’s living room rug with me on top of her and my cock stiffening behind my jeans.
Delia Bay Page 10
