Overall, we had a good day. Mama picked up a few odds and sods you couldn’t get elsewhere but by the time we made it to the end of the market I could see she was tired.
A band was playing somewhere in the distance, the music drowning out a lot of our conversation. I turned to guide Reid in the right direction, knowing full well he hadn’t been here before but when I turned on the spot he was stood a way back, his eyes trained on a spot over to his right. The color had drained form his cheeks, his shoulders trembling slightly under his jacket that I couldn’t be sure he was cold or terrified. The lost look in his eyes tells me it’s the latter and my eyes follow his towards an older couple shopping at a Christmas stall a few feet away. I don’t recognize them, but this is Lordell, anyone and everyone could be here.
I hand mama my flowers, she takes them willingly without question as I walk back to where Reid is like a statue.
“Reid?” I ask with enough terror in my voice he’ll hear me over the music, but he doesn’t even flinch. Instead his eyes flick to me, empty and hollow, void of any of the emotion I’ve seen in them over the past few weeks. My heart cracks and my throat constricts but I force a smile as I wrap my hand in his, tugging him gently away from the market.
Reid needs someone to hold him up when he falls. He’s used to crashing but not this time. I’ll be his foundation, the one he can fall on to build himself back up again. I can’t have it on my conscience to let him burn again, once more and this gorgeous, broken human being will be reduced to ash.
I just know it.
Mama gives me a knowing glance as we head back to the car, but I silence her with a glare. We drive back in near silence, the radio our only sound as Reid glances out the window at the passing scenery. The same scenery I was enthralled with as a child seems to only depress him further. I drop Mama off, promising to call her tomorrow after hugging her and seeing her safely inside, I head back to the cabin.
I can’t place that couple anywhere, they aren’t from Delia that’s for sure. I rack my brain the entire drive back to the bay, but I come up empty. The air in my Chevy is thick but Reid seems oblivious to it when he pulls on the door handle, letting himself out and shutting the door quietly behind him. I watch him for a second as he rounds the front of the car, his eyes trained in front of him as he feels his jeans pockets for his keys.
It’s the first time during our...relationship.... that I’ve felt uneasy. I don’t know what I should be doing now. Do I follow him, or should I leave him and go back to my place?
It takes me less than a second to jump out of my car before I’m running up the track towards the cabin. I aimlessly grabbed my flowers in their cellophane wrap and practically bumped into Reid’s back as he opened the front door. I know I’m in for an emotionally draining evening when he doesn’t even grunt.
I get nothing.
Nada.
Zilch.
I follow behind him silently, removing my coat as he goes to the log burner, lighting it swiftly after absentmindedly throwing a few pieces of wood into it.
I keep my distance, the silence around us growing deafeningly quiet as he moves about his cabin. I still can’t tell if he even wants me here or if should go and give him the space I know he craves.
The way he struts towards his kitchen, his strides hitting the wood flooring with purpose has me on edge, but I can’t tell if it’s because he looks so damned good doing it or if I’m a little terrified of his reaction. Flinging open the fridge he rips a beer out and flips the top off with his thumb before he starts glugging back the contents. I can do nothing but stand totally dumfounded in his small entryway.
As soon as he’s about halfway down the bottle my feet move towards him, his scent engulfing me and reminding me why I’m even here at all. I pull the bottle from his lips, his death glare burning a straight hole through my chest, but I don’t flinch. I daren’t show him how much hurt he causes me sometimes, it would only make him feel worse and I know Reid does it unintentionally.
I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s feeling but how can he assume that I can help him when he won’t talk to me? The irate thought occurs to me then that maybe he doesn’t want help. Rough lips seek out mine, harsh, rough kisses hit my lips before dipping across my jaw line and down my neck. My body reacts of its own accord, my thoughts from before fleeing away like a gust of wind had just passed through my body instead of this insatiable man. In a split second my back is pressed against one of the hard-wood walls of the cabin, Reid’s hips pressed against mine holding me hostage. I open my lips to his torturous tongue, the way he dives into my mouth tells me how desperately he needs this, me, tonight. Now.
Rough fingers are in the tops of my jeans, pulling them roughly down my legs until he’s satisfied. Reid repeats the movement on his own jeans, letting his already hard cock spring free and hit my too sensitive core before he’s lifting me against the wall. I gasp into his mouth, my arms banding around his shoulders for support as his wet tip slides between my folds once before he’s shoving his way inside me.
The pleasure is earth-shatteringly beautiful, the way he fills me has my head falling back against the wall, my breath catching in my lungs and Reid taking advantage of my stuck-out chest and pulling a hard nipple into his mouth through the fabric of my shirt. Neither one of us has even taken our coats off yet but that’s the least of my worries as Reid fucks his way into my heart again.
There’s no let up against the hard-wood wall as he retreats and slams into me once more. The pleasure mixed with pain has me crying out and digging my nails into his shirt covered back. It’s animalistic, pure, raw and unadulterated sex. The way he thrusts himself into me, the feel of him stretching me to my limit and using me for his own sake has me quaking like a leaf in his arms. My toes curl as I wrap my legs around his waist, giving him more access to my too-wet core, my stomach clenches against the tsunami of pleasure threatening to rip free.
“Reid!” I gasp as he hits that sweet spot deep inside me.
“Luna” he growls, his fingers digging into the skin of my ass cheeks as he hoists me up higher, his hips now delivering punishing strokes to my already too-sensitive pussy. The rock-hard muscles of his lower abdomen hit my clit, sending shock waves all over my body, the hairs on my arms and neck stand on edge as my legs tug him closer, my orgasm threatening to rip free at any second.
I’m sure I look anything but attractive as he ruts into me a few more times, my hair brushing against my back, my breaths coming in heavy pants and my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my entire body clenches, my orgasm ripping through me with such ferocity I’m pretty I sure I scream.
I’m helpless as I go weak in his strong arms, my body giving in as Reid delivers so much pleasure my brain turns to mush. I force my eyes to open, to concentrate on him and the hard fuck he’s still so desperately giving me, only when I do I notice his emerald eyes trained sternly on my face. I don’t waste a second as I reach behind his head and pull his lips down to mine, his hips still going at a punishing pace between my legs, so much so that I’m sure I’ll be sore for the next six months. My sweat slicked forehead crashes with his as our tongues tangle, Reid’s grip moves from my ass to under my legs, lifting me higher and changing the angle of his thrusts. I feel him swell inside me, the nerves in my center tingling and eagerly waiting for his warm release.
It doesn’t take him another minute before he’s spilling all of himself inside me, the deepest darkest parts of him that he’s kept hidden from everyone for so long. The parts I will cherish and try until my last breath to help him put back together again.
WHERE THE FUCK WERE my keys?
I had a major delivery of fall stock for Moonbeams coming in today, one that Rach couldn’t handle on her own and here I was stuck at the sodding cabin without my car keys or the assholes bike. Last night he’d fallen asleep in my arms after we crashed on his bed. The man was wordless after he slipped himself free from me, leaving me almost legless and orgasmed-the-fuck-out,
before he lit a joint and we shared a few puffs in comfortable silence, listening to the wildlife coming to life around the cabin before I ushered us into the warm cabin.
I didn’t know where he’d got to this morning, but he hadn’t left me my usual note that would tell me where he was at. Instead I was left aching, wanting and fucking late. Anything would be great right about now to get me down onto the promenade, anything but my legs that still felt about as good as Jell-O for a walking stick after last night’s fuck-fest.
I would have even attempted his sodding bike right now because I wasn’t attempting to walk on these things. Granted I probably wouldn’t have been able to ride the damn thing anyway, but it would have been quicker and less embarrassing for me.
I’d thrown the living room into disarray, the couch cushions strewn across the floor, the kitchen cupboards opened and emptied. How the fuck was it this easy to lose a set of keys in a cabin this small?!
I guffawed before waltzing back to the assholes bedroom, pulling open his wardrobe in the off chance my keys had somehow landed in there. Nothing.
I’d searched everywhere and still came up empty. I’d walked the cabin a few hundred times that it probably would have been quicker for me to walk down the shop. I peered outside and that’s when I noticed that both my Chevy and Reid’s bike were parked just how we’d left them last night. I guess he must have walked to work this morning.
I fall back on his bed, my ass hitting the too-soft mattress, my eyes landing on the only bedside table in the room.
I yank open the top drawer but am greeted with nothing but Reid’s delicious pants. I pull open the bottom drawer and instead of men’s socks, the content forces my world to a halt.
The planet stopped spinning on its axis.
The blood form my face draining drop by drop as I reached into the wooden drawer and gently pulled out the photo of a young Reid and a girl I can only assume is Aurora.
Long, thick black straight hair falls down her back. The smile on her face as she wraps her arms around Reid almost makes me sick, but when I remember the circumstances I swallow past it. Aurora isn’t a bad person, she didn’t die on purpose, it was an accident. I know Reid loved her, but it was okay to move on after a certain amount of time, right?
On that note, I pulled my phone out from my pocket, flicking past Reid’s name and ignoring the need to call him as my thumb danced across the screen. It was past nine, way too long for Reid to be out running, the worry in my chest suddenly growing.
I flick my eyes down at my converse laden feet, the twitch in them ready to run after him, when I spot a piece of paper sticking up out of the drawer. My curiosity gets the better of me and it proves to be the dagger to my heart, the blade to my soul and the thing that has me pounding the promenade as if my life depended on it.
Because it did.
Rotten & Forgotten
I’D FORGOTTEN.
It had totally slipped my mind. The day I had been dreading for months had crept up on me like a sly serpent, slithering past without alerting me to its presence.
Yesterday morning when I’d sprung from bed and shoved my legs into something more suitable for running, forgoing my coffee and making my way out the front door to start my day like I’d been doing since moving to Delia, I’d forgotten.
I’d forgotten on the ride to Lordell.
I’d forgotten at the Fall Market.
It was only when I’d seen Aurora’s parents at the market that I remembered. It had been two days since the tenth anniversary of their daughter’s death and here I was swanning around like it meant nothing, when in actuality it meant fucking everything.
I’d been hauled up in the cabin, hiding from the rain as if I deserved that small level of comfort when I knew I didn’t. I deserved to be in Aurora’s place, buried beneath the damp soil with the mold and the worms.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, I’d sat up and watched the rain pour, the usually clear night skies of Delia were totally black with clouds instead. I don’t remember what time it was that I decided to go for run, the urge burning through my skin until I couldn’t handle it a second longer. It was still dark out when I left Luna asleep, her warm skin spreading heat around my cabin along with her sweet scent that made was making me dizzy.
Each rain drop burned my skin as I ran down to the promenade, my heavy footfalls mixing with the distant roar of thunder. The water felt like acid, searing every nerve ending, ripping old wounds open and exposing them to the elements. My dirty, rotten core couldn’t get much worse, anything else that tried to worm its way inside me would only rot there like everything else.
My heart was where things went to die.
It couldn’t love when it could barely beat.
My blood hummed in my ears, my knees screamed at me to slow down, but I couldn’t. My skin was wet, my muscles were locked and all I could think about was how I’d forgotten Aurora.
I’d been too busy being happy and falling for Luna to even realize the date had come and gone. What kind of asshole does that make me?
Every year I’d take a day off and drink myself stupid, glugging bottle after bottle of the purest Russian vodka I could get my hands on.
Normal people would have visited the grave, but I couldn’t do that. I hadn’t been back there since the day of the funeral, I sure as fuck wasn’t starting now. Seeing her beautiful name scribbled onto stone along with her birth and death date was too final for me. Even ten years later.
I felt the guilt emanating off her parents at the market, they hadn’t even looked at me, but I felt their pain as soon as my eyes landed on them. The pain that I’d put there because I killed their daughter.
I ran and ran until I found myself heading back towards the bay from the town. My legs were numb from running so far but I still couldn’t stop.
That pain led me further down the promenade than I’d ever gone before, past the car-lot, ignoring Jock as he calls out to me. I run, my feet hitting wood and then grass as I breach the end of the walk. The incline up the hill gets harder and harder to climb, my thighs screaming as my muscles are pulled too tightly. I keep going, the rain and my sweat mixing together in my eyes and stinging like a bitch doesn’t even stop me. Nothing stops me until I make it to the top.
A slight mist hovers around me, clinging to my already damp skin. The grass beneath my feet turning to sludge with each step I take. The rain feels harder up here somehow, louder too. The crashing of the waves hitting the rocks below has my ears peaking, the drum resonating the song I have in my heart.
Just one more day Aurora. That’s all I ever needed, was you.
A rip tears at my throat, images of Luna dance behind my closed eyelids. Her beautiful, free spirited soul tried so damned hard to help me I know, but I was past saving. Even before I met her. I meant it when I said I loved her. It was a different love to what Aurora and I had, but fuck if it didn’t hurt. It felt like I was cheating them both. Aurora had taken a part of me with her when she died, a part I would never get back. How was that fair to Luna? To give her the tiny, shattered, broken pieces of myself for her to try and love only to cut herself on in the future?
Luna couldn’t see it, she was blind to the darkness. But I knew. I’d seen it happen, the world wasn’t a happy, care free place, it was cold and cruel.
Much like the cliff I was currently stood on. The wind-chill up this high was harsher on my wet skin, the cold making me shiver but it doesn’t reach my bones. I’m numb to the elements, even as I step closer to the edge.
When Aurora was alive, my life was full of color and never-ending bliss, but now? I was tip-toeing along the cliff edge, the winds of my past threatening to blow me over at any second. I didn’t deserve a second chance, it wasn’t supposed to happen. None of it was. I hate myself for even allowing the mere possibility of loving someone else enter my head. Now that it had actually happened, and my stupid, black heart had gone and fallen so god damned in love with Luna I was racked with guilt. So much guilt
.
It wouldn’t be fair to her to have half of me, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Luna deserved the world, her gentle soul should find someone else, someone better than me. It’s the least the gorgeous girl deserves. I made her hurt, I upset her when I said things I didn’t mean. But I love her. I really really fucking love her. That much I knew was the goddamned truth.
The sudden need to be free washes over my skin at the same time a sea breeze from down below hits me square in the face. Adrenalin courses through my veins, my blood pumping faster than it should, and the tiny, ghostly whisper of Aurora tickles my ear.
Be happy Reid.
“I’m trying baby” I squeeze my eyes shut, my voice hoarse with emotion I’m so tired of feeling. Grief never ends. It never fucking ends, the shards of pain remain lodged between your ribs, between every nerve ending until you die. We’d never spoken about death when we were together, what teenagers do? We believed naively that we would live forever, together.
The red neon light of the emergency room glowed brightly in the otherwise black night. My lungs were burning as I ran with everything I had towards the ER entrance. Just a few minutes ago my manager at the diner I was picking up shitty shifts at had told me to get to the hospital. I didn’t know why, but my gut told me it wasn’t good. All he’d said was there’d been an accident. With who I didn’t know. Was it my parents? Aurora? Was the baby okay?
I ran will all my might the few blocks of the city to the hospital, as fast as my lungs and legs would let me until I finally breached the glass sliding doors, sodden right to my bones and panting for breath. I’d suddenly wished I had taken that spot on the football team last semester, I might have gotten here faster. Instead I’d opted out, the guys on the team were assholes.
The bleached smell of disease and death assaulted my nose as I inhaled a lung full of air. I pushed past everyone waiting at the reception desk and spat my name at the woman, paying zero attention to who she was or what she even looked like as she pointed down the hall. As soon as I reach a set of double doors with those tiny windows in them a doctor halts me in my tracks and gives me a once over before leading me to a side room.
Delia Bay Page 21
