“God, you’re good. Did they teach you this interrogation technique in the military?”
Anger replaced his expression. “No. But I can see your defensive sarcasm hasn’t changed.”
Shame made her cheeks heat. “I’m not proud of it.”
“Do you use that to cover when you’re hurting?”
“I use it because my father was a sarcastic S.O.B. It must be in the genes.”
He chuckled, removing the intense look. “I missed that.”
“What?”
“Sparring with you. We were always good at that.”
She remembered. Oh how she remembered. When they’d met, she been only fifteen and he’d been sixteen. They’d never been more than friends but she’d felt a jolt of pure lust every time she saw him. Yeah, she’d been crushing on him, even though he dated other girls. Her life had been in the toilet and she’d looked forward to classes together five days a week. She’d underplayed her negative past. Living for most of her early years with a cold, controlling father, a meek mother, quiet brother and a neurotic sister… Well, it had added up to a long, dark night of the soul. One she didn’t share with anyone. Ever.
“You were a tough kid,” he said after a long pause.
“I was.”
“You aren’t now?”
“Don’t feel like it.”
“Give yourself a break. You can’t be tough twenty-four hours a day.”
“Wanna bet?”
Silence went on as she lost her appetite. She stuffed the last half of her burger and fries into the bag.
“Something wrong with your food?” he asked.
She heaved a sigh and managed to meet his gaze. “No. When I’m stressed, I’ll get really hungry and then my appetite will cut out after a few bites. I think I’ll be sick if I take another bite.”
He stood and walked to the bed then settled next to her. “I’ve seen soldiers with the same problem. I’ve even felt that way a few times. Give yourself some time to recover.”
Words flowed from her like a faucet. “My sister Gabby was like that before she became a full-blown anorexic.”
She didn’t meet his gaze but she felt his attention burning through her.
“You think that’s what’ll happen to you?” he asked.
She stood and threw her burger bag into the trash with a thunk. “After seeing what Gabby went through…”
“When did she become anorexic?”
She almost didn’t answer him. She thought of Gabby, two years older than her and so beautiful. A pretty brunette who looked like their father. Kathleen looked like her father too.
“Only two years ago,” she said.
“Was she overweight?”
“No. She was already thin.” Bitterness stained her voice. “She made the mistake of telling our father she planned to marry a guy who wasn’t Father’s type of Christian.”
“His type of Christian?”
“The type that hates people.” When he didn’t speak, she turned toward him. Tears returned again. “I’m sorry. None of this is your problem. Old history is old history.”
“Yeah, but I can see it still affects you.”
She snorted softly. “I’m thirty years old, Jake. I should have this crap figured out. I should be over it.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. We all have things we haven’t figured out. Including me.”
“Like what?”
Hesitation flickered in his eyes. “Tonight’s about you. I can regurgitate my problems on another night.”
She stood next to him, looking at his ripped body and handsome face and wanting to lose herself in his visible strength. She stepped between his thighs and his big hands cupped her hips. His gaze went hot and all hesitation left her. She needed and wanted this.
“If this is about me, then we need to do this.” She slid her hands through his very short hair.
Without delay, she leaned down and captured his mouth with hers.
Kathleen had thought kissing Jake Frasier would feel nice but that word didn’t cover the sheer intensity of emotions crashing into her. He responded instantly but it wasn’t a ravenous kiss. Gently, tenderly he tasted her, a skillful exploration that promised so much. He didn’t pounce—his caresses at her waistline and the sweet way he kissed her showed restraint. She shivered under his touch, turned-on by the soft way he kissed. His hands tightened on her hips. He broke the kiss and stared at her. Heat flared in his eyes and she took that as an invitation for more. She clasped his shoulders as she straddled his lap.
“Oh God,” he said. “What are you doing to me?”
She smiled at him as she settled right onto the erection pressing against his jeans. The pressure of his cock against her aching core aroused her even more. She shifted, rubbing her sensitive tissues along his hardness. She closed her eyes and did it again, her hips finding a rhythm. Heat blossomed between her legs and she couldn’t stop. God, this feels too good.
When she opened her eyes and looked at him, his face was a study in desire. His lips parted, his nostrils flared as she kept up the sinuous dance, moving against him. He tunneled one hand into her hair and drew her down for a ravenous kiss. Gone was the soft approach as his tongue plunged deep. She groaned into his mouth and responded as the tingling between her legs grew moment by moment. Kathleen fell into a sensual daze as he devoured her with one passionate kiss after another. With every relentless stroke of her aroused flesh against his cock, climax grew closer and closer. When he released her from the kiss she closed her eyes and road him toward a peak. So close. So close. With a gasp and a cry, she hit the top. Sweet, trembling, delicious orgasm spiked inside her in a heated rush. He pulled her closer into his arms and she buried her head against his shoulder as she gasped and moaned. Time seemed to have little meaning as she drifted in pleasure.
As her breathing regulated, she pulled back and stood. Time to give him as much pleasure as she’d just experienced. But his face had turned from ready-to-get-it-on to a less enthusiastic expression.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“You experienced a huge trauma today. Tonight isn’t the night for this.”
Embarrassment tore through her. She shouldn’t have let things go this far. She’d basically thrown herself at him. She sucked in a deep breath and battled back inexplicable tears.
He stood, face grim. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
On the defense, she said, “I kissed you, remember?”
“You don’t need that right now. You need rest and time to think.”
Without a hint of rancor she said, “Never tell me what I need.”
“Ever the independent, eh?”
She threw him a half smile born of frustration. “Yes.” Before she could yank him back into her arms and do something really stupid, she continued with, “I think I’ll get some sleep now. It’s late.”
“You’re right. It is. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Did he think she’d tell him the truth? “I’m wonderful.”
Doubt filled his eyes but he reached for his coat on the chair and then shrugged into it. “Take down my cell phone number.”
“Why?” she asked automatically even as she reached for a pad of paper and a pen.
“Because if you need me, just call.”
She needed him. In between her legs and making her forget. She didn’t say that of course. Instead she wrote while he rattled off the number.
He zipped his coat and, with his hand on the doorknob, he glanced back at her. “Sleep well.”
“You too.”
When the door had closed, and she’d locked it behind him, a void grew inside her. She wanted more. Not just sex, although she had a feeling that would have been mind-blowing. No, she’d wanted more talk. More anything to bring her off the jittery high. She sank onto the bed and the tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t sob or wail. She never did that. After all, it would mean losing total control. Instead she allowed the tears to come softly.
Chapter Four
The damn phone rang and Kathleen groaned. She opened one eye. The room was dark. Who the frig would call this late? Sleep had felt so good. Her cell phone continued its cheery tune. Wednesday? It was Wednesday, right? Groggy and disoriented, she fought her way out of sleepiness.
She groaned as she rolled over, turned on the bedside lamp and grabbed her phone. Lena’s number flashed on the screen.
“This better be good,” she said into the phone. “I was dreaming about Hugh Jackman.”
Lena snorted a laugh. “Yeah right. Where are you? Are you okay?”
Feeling foggy-headed, Kathleen sat up and groaned. “Peachy.” She glanced at the digital clock radio on the bedstand. “God, it’s nine o’clock? I thought it was like…I dunno, two in the morning.”
Lena laughed. “No, silly. Look, what have you got planned today? The brothers are all playing paintball and stuff with Patrick today. Danelle and Melanie are doing some last-minute wedding gunk and Melanie works at the library tonight. My boss at the mental health center gave me time off. But I’m just sitting around here thinking about the shooting yesterday. Want to have lunch?”
The way Lena had rattled everything off sounded nervous.
“Sure. Sounds like fun.” It didn’t really. She felt like someone had flattened her with a steamroller. “What about you? Are you up to going out?”
Lena made a soft, exasperated sound. “I wouldn’t have called you if I wasn’t.”
Kathleen closed her eyes and wiped one hand over her face. “Right. Oh wait. My rental car is still at the mall.”
“I’ll swing by and get you and then we’ll drop by the mall to get your rental.”
“What about your ankle?”
“It’s just a bit sore. No big deal.”
Later that morning, after she’d managed to shower and dress, Kathleen gazed at herself in the mirror and groaned. Today she’d drawn her hair back into a ponytail. She hadn’t wanted to style it but she rarely did anyway. She’d been blessed with great hair that fell in long ringlets naturally with a little help from a foam hair product and sometimes gentle blow-drying. The rest of her looked a mess. Dark circles under her eyes, no eye shadow and a little dusting of mineral makeup and blush—yeah, she looked exhausted. Her body ached as if she’d done twenty rounds in the ring. Too bad the twenty rounds hadn’t been under the sheets with Jake.
“Get over it already.”
Last night’s escapade had shown her she’d moved too far and too quickly. The man might even have a girlfriend for all she knew. She hoped not—he hadn’t kissed like a man faithful to a lover. No, he’d kissed like a man who wanted her. Her belly tingled at the memory of his lips on hers. She sighed and observed her attire in the mirror, wondering if she should change. Somehow the dark red sweater and jeans she wore did nothing for her. She sat on the bed and yanked on her boots. Who cared? It was lunch with Lena, not a meeting with the pope.
Right on time, Lena met her at the hotel entrance. They went to the mall and Kathleen picked up her car. Kathleen followed Lena to a small family restaurant on the far north end of town, as far from the mall as they could be without leaving town. Snow had stopped and pretty much melted under a winter sun. It promised to snow more as clouds drifted across the sky from time to time. Lena limped a little as she walked but it wasn’t that noticeable. She wore jeans, a sweater and athletic shoes. Her short blonde hair was a bit mussed, as if she’d had difficulty taming it. Not that Lena seemed to care.
When they settled in a booth, a waitress greeted them. “Lena, darlin’, I heard about what happened to you guys yesterday. That was awful. Are you all right?”
Lena smiled at the older woman. “Hey Janice. Yeah, we’re good.”
Janice peppered them both with questions but made it short and quick and took their coffee orders.
Lena’s gaze assessed Kathleen. “Everything okay?”
“Definitely. You?”
Lena looked dubious. “Um…I’m not sure. That’s part of the reason why I wanted to chat. Ever since the shooting, I’ve been jumpy. I needed to do something.”
Kathleen didn’t know if she wanted to hash out what happened at the mall but if Lena wanted to, she couldn’t refuse. Her friend looked frazzled. They examined their menus and made decisions on what to eat but the waitress hadn’t come back yet. The restaurant was rocking with customers, so it might be a while.
“Are you all right?” Kathleen asked, genuinely concerned.
Lena fiddled with her paper napkin. “A little confused.”
“About what?”
“Everything.” Lena abandoned the napkin and leaned her elbows on the table.
Puzzled, Kathleen said, “Okay.”
“Last night Rick and I were…”
Kathleen waited while Lena stared at the table. Kathleen finally gave up and allowed her impatience to overtake her. “What?”
“We slept together.”
Kathleen smiled. “That’s all?”
Lena’s gaze snapped to hers. “I’ve never, never slept with a guy I’ve just met.”
“Well, technically you haven’t just met him.”
The waitress interrupted when she brought their coffee and took their food orders. Lena added sugar and cream to her coffee while Kathleen drank hers black.
When Lena didn’t elaborate on their earlier discussion, Kathleen pushed the issue. “I’ve had a one-night stand before. One time.”
Lena’s eyes widened. “You have?”
“You’re surprised? Remember, I was the badass in high school. Or at least I thought I was. Reality was different.”
“You were a badass. You couldn’t have made it through your teen years if you weren’t.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere.”
Lena shrugged. “Well, maybe you can give me some advice about one-night stands.”
“Such as?”
“When did your one-night stand happen?”
“When I was too young.” Kathleen thought back to the how and why of that one-night stand and winced. “I was a virgin and sixteen. It was all wrong for me. I didn’t love the guy. He was a friend of Jake Frasier’s.”
Lena’s eyebrows went up. “Shut up.”
“Yeah. It was a mess.”
“You never told me about that.”
Kathleen looked into her cooling coffee and then took a sip. “I never told anyone about it. Melanie doesn’t know either.”
“Wow. Well, I was a virgin until I was twenty-three. Practically an old maid by today’s standards.”
“Hey, I admire that. Was it with someone you loved?”
“I thought it was. Anyway, that’s another long story.” Lena still looked troubled. “Rick is…different. I can’t believe how I feel about him. He’s an incredible guy.”
Uh-oh. The doe-eyed look on Lena’s face told Kathleen what she needed to know. “You’re falling for him.”
Lena groaned. “God, I hope not.”
Lena’s expression was almost comical but Kathleen wouldn’t make light of her friend’s worry. “If it makes you feel any better, I tried to jump Jake’s bones last night.”
Again Lena’s eyes widened. “Tried?”
“He didn’t take me up on it.”
Lena grimaced. “Really?”
“Really. Than man kisses like a god but he put me aside and got all honorable. He said I didn’t need that right now.”
Lena sipped coffee, holding the cup in both hands. “So he’s honorable too. That makes it worse. Or better, depending how you look at it.”
“I know, right? Like it or not, the Frasier brothers are pains in the ass. Gorgeous as hell but that doesn’t make up for the frustration.” Kathleen lowered her voice and leaned forward. “So how was it?”
Lena blushed bright red and a small smile touched her mouth. “Amazing.”
“Wild monkey sex?”
Lena giggled, a sound Kathleen hadn’t heard her make in ages. “Um. It was wonderful.
I’ve never…um…”
Kathleen waved one hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get that personal. But I’m glad he rocked your boat.”
“He rocked my world.” Lena lowered her voice and looked around. “I didn’t know sex like that was possible in the real world.”
“Dang girl, shut up. You’re going to make me jealous that you got some and I didn’t.”
When their salads came, they ate in silence for a while.
Kathleen broke the silence with, “You’re not happy about what happened between you and Rick, are you?”
Lena finished a bit of salad. “Yes and no. It was wonderful. But I told him we couldn’t do it again. He’s leaving Sunday.”
Kathleen sipped more coffee before she answered. “Back to Alaska.”
“He was matter-of-fact about it and he left my house without arguing.”
“Right. I don’t know whether he deserves a kick in the pants for being so blunt or a prize for being honest.”
“Both, I think.”
Lena stared at her chicken salad, the forlorn expression on her face turning to distinct irritation. “Well, if I get hurt it’s my own damned fault. I should have known better.”
Guilt surfaced inside Kathleen. “I shouldn’t have said what I did at the mall.”
“Said what?”
“When you and Melanie were standing in the parking lot after the shooting. I sort of egged you both on.”
Lena stabbed a piece of lettuce. “We’re adults, Kathleen. We can make our own decisions.”
Kathleen shoved aside her half-eaten salad. She’d been ravenous at first because she’d skipped breakfast and now she could barely choke down the salad.
“Don’t like your salad?” Lena asked.
“It’s good but I’m full.”
Lena ate quickly, as she always had. “God, why couldn’t Rick have been a total jerk?”
Kathleen laughed. “Probably because he’s not?”
Lena chewed another piece of chicken. “Gah! Don’t tell me that. Tell me he’s a rotten creep and I’m better off without him.”
UnderFire Page 4
