by Jo Leigh
“What’s wrong?”
“You, that’s what. My whole plan depended on seeing you more, not less.”
“I’m right with you. Where are you now?”
“I’m almost at Queens Boulevard. I can be at your place in ten.”
“I’ll meet you at the station.”
“No, that’s okay. Just get the water ready and take off whatever you’re wearing. I want you ready.”
“I’m already ready,” he said.
“Gotta go. We’re coming to a stop.”
Cam noticed he was alone. Emmy must have left to get her cheesecake. As quickly as he could walk with his burgeoning erection, he made it outside and up the staircase. He hadn’t even made his bed this morning, and there were clothes on the floor, so he shoved those in his closet and threw the covers to the floor.
He’d barely stepped out of his jeans and boxers when she opened his door.
Man, she was dressed in her work clothes. Sharp black slacks, crisp white blouse with the top two buttons undone...
“I must say, this was a great decision on my part.”
He nodded as he walked toward her.
“I like it when you’re already naked,” she said, putting her purse and briefcase away on the counter behind her without even looking. “Sexy.”
He stopped just shy of being able to touch her, and instead touched himself. A long slow pull on his now-hard penis. She shivered. “Just so you know, I’ve already set my watch. We have one hour and ten minutes. Then I’m leaving. Got it?”
He blinked. “An hour and ten? Come on, woman. Quit staring at me and get your clothes off.”
She smiled. They both tackled the job and in short order they were on the bed, the light was off and she was helping him put on his condom.“What, no foreplay?” he asked. “I like foreplay.”
“As do I, but I like cuddling, too. If you wouldn’t mind.”
He cupped her cheek. “Cuddling it is.”
“After,” she said, moving in close. When she kissed him, it was fast and deep.
Cam was nothing if not willing to play along. While he liked the sensuality of a slow seduction, there was a lot to say about down and dirty. He still made sure she was ready for him and was rewarded with a low moan and a quick thrust of her hips.
Seconds before he was going to lay her down, she stopped him. “I think tonight we’ll go cowboy-style.”
“You really did like me being naked for you.”
Her grin was wicked. “Someone’s got to make sure we wrap this up in time.”
He flopped down on his back and threw his arms out wide. “I’m yours. Any way you want me.”
She mounted him in one quick move then rode him like Annie Oakley.
Not only did she get her cuddle, they walked with their arms around each other to the station, both of them grinning like idiots the whole time.
* * *
SHE’D MEANT TO say Gewürztraminer. The interview had been about wines from the Alsace region of France. To the best of Molly’s recollection, it was only after the fourth mention of Grüner Veltliner, a completely different white from Austria, that the interviewer from Food & Wine magazine had corrected her. Nicely. With barely a hint of pity.
It was the first time she’d been the interviewee in an article asking for expert opinions, a direct result of her win at the International Wine Writers Association.
An hour later the humiliation of her faux pas was still fresh and resting heavily in her gut, but the pain of what she had to do next lay in her heart. Cameron had to go.
The subway rocked as it took a curve, but she found his trading card easily tucked away in her purse. He was so much more than handsome now. His photo hadn’t been able to catch the way his eyes narrowed seconds before he said something he hoped would make her laugh. How endearing his lopsided smile was. The way, when he looked at her, he saw so much more than she could see in herself.
Maybe she wouldn’t put the card back into the pile. Not that she’d hold on to it forever. That would be selfish and wrong. But he’d never asked her to put his card back into circulation, so maybe she could keep it for now, just to be sure.
Sure of what, though? That she really couldn’t see him again? Wasn’t the interview proof enough?
She’d already sacrificed so much for her career and her future, letting go of Cam shouldn’t be that hard. They both understood they weren’t anything but temporary. She was always supposed to have been his pretend girlfriend. Except the pretend part had become blurred, at least for her. So, yes, this was the right thing to do. Absolutely.
So why was it tearing her up inside? Why hadn’t she been able to get a full breath since she’d made her decision?
She held on to his card the whole way to St. Marks, even though she could only snatch looks at it when they hit the stops before hers. She knew one thing for certain: he’d lied about his favorite restaurant. Not that he’d admitted it. But the way he’d waxed rhapsodic about cheeseburgers and the pulled pork at The Four Sisters? Prune was a very fine restaurant, but they served things like fried sweetbreads and roasted marrow bones.
As for the rest of the card...the answers were only half-truths.
He didn’t really want a one-night stand. While he was in Queens, yes, but Cameron was a man destined for a wife and family. No question. And he’d want a wife who was there for him and the kids. Not that he wouldn’t want her to have a job, but he’d pick someone who had only a job, not a career.
The death of his mother at such a young age probably meant he’d want a stay-at-home mom for his children. God, Cam’s ideal life consisted of a meaningful job in Syracuse, with a house and a dog and room in the basement to experiment with his home brews. He’d want a lot of kids, too. Not that he’d said as much, but she knew.
No matter how she tried to make herself fit into that picture, she couldn’t. She’d never be that wife in that life. Having a family of her own? What did she know about that?
Thirty minutes later, she almost walked past the church and had to backpedal a few steps before she made her way down to the basement. The room was once again crowded, filled with laughter and the kind of small talk that gave her hives. This time things were different, though. She tried to imagine each woman there as a potential partner for Cam, but she had to stop. Doing so made her feel sick.
So she found an unobtrusive spot by the radiator, leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.
God, she had to put his card back, didn’t she? There was no way she could do anything else. It hurt like the devil, but then, it would, wouldn’t it? She liked him. More than she’d liked any man before. Still, the end was inevitable, if it happened today or in three or four months.
She’d find another card. Maybe not someone as great as Cam, but that was a good thing, because then it really would be an advantage to stick to the one-night stand. She didn’t even care about the back of the card this time. Screw wanting someone who shared a common interest. The less talking, the better. All she wanted was someone who was hot. Who looked as if he’d know what to do between the sheets.
Luckily, no one bothered her in her little corner. She hadn’t made any friends; that wasn’t the point. Donna wasn’t there today because she was still seeing Wayne. Not even Emmy was—
Molly’s breath caught and she scanned the room. God. How could she have forgotten about Cam’s sister? More proof that she’d lost control and was sinking fast. Wrapped up in her humiliation, she’d left the interview and headed straight to the meeting without thinking it through. Emmy couldn’t catch her returning Cam’s card.
Molly started to relax. Emmy was tall and not easily missed.
The woman with this month’s batch of cards came into the room. The box was left out for anyone to return cards, and even though Molly’s grip tightened
on Cam’s card, she knew what she had to do.
This was her reality. Her life. She’d said Grüner Veltliner. She hadn’t been thinking of Cameron that particular second; in fact, she’d been concentrating on the interview with all her might. But she’d never made a mistake like that before. Not when it was so important.
If that article came out with her mistake in it... She couldn’t bear to think about what Phillip would say. He and Simone would be so ashamed.
Molly walked over to the tables and forced herself to release the card before she could change her mind. It felt as if she were stabbing a knife into her own heart. She watched as the cards were shaken, moved, and his picture submerged slowly into the pile.
Then the box was lifted high, shaken again, and the contents were dumped so that anyone could reach in and find it. Take him.
The last thing she wanted was someone else’s card. But she couldn’t pay attention to her overemotional whining. This was the right move. Replacing Cam as quickly as possible was what she had to do if she wanted to get her career back on track. There was someone. Blond hair, nice smile, green eyes. She plucked the card from the table and stepped back, letting other women have their chance.
“Molly, hey.”
Molly nearly jumped out of her skin at Emmy’s voice behind her. She turned to find Cam’s sister staring at the trading card in Molly’s hand.
“It’s for a friend. She’s going to be late, but she asked me to find someone her type, and—” she lifted the card, read the back “—Adam is perfect.”
“Oh, man. I thought... Well, I won’t tell you what I thought. So you’re here for...”
“Susan.” Molly had no idea if there was a Susan in the group, but she’d already dug herself a pit of lies, so what was one more? “She’s only been here a few times.”
“I wish I was here for a friend.” Emmy looked at the card she had in her hand. “This guy’s bottom line is that he’s ready to settle down. Which sounds great because I am, too. But his passion is extreme sports. It doesn’t sound promising, does it?”
Molly felt guiltier by the second. “No. It doesn’t. A man who’s ready to settle down wouldn’t willingly put himself into dangerous situations. Is he a fireman or a soldier or something?”
Emmy nodded. “Close enough. He’s a cop.” She shook her head as she tossed the card back in the pile. “I will never admit this to my brother, but I swear he’s the real deal. If I could find a man like him...”
Molly had a hard time finding an appropriate expression. She ended up smiling. “He’s really something,” she said. “It’ll be hard to say goodbye when he goes back to Syracuse.”
“Who says you’ll have to say goodbye?”
“My work is here.” Molly wanted to recall her words the second she’d said them. It could ruin everything for Cam if his family thought she wouldn’t go with him. Although that wouldn’t be a consideration for long. He’d have to tell them at some point that their relationship had ended. “On the other hand,” she said, “there are more important things than work, right?”
Emmy nodded. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time. He’s so focused on his work, he forgets that he has needs, too. And not just the obvious ones. He’ll be such a good dad and husband.”
“You going to go back in? Search for someone else’s card?”
“Nope.” Emmy hoisted her purse strap over her shoulder. “I’m gonna sit this round out. You want to get a cup of coffee or something?”
“Thanks, but I’m going to take one more look through to see if there’s anyone who can beat out Adam.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
Molly nodded, grinning as if she meant it, until Emmy was out of the room, and then she dived back into the pile of cards, desperate to find Cameron’s. What an idiot she’d been to toss him back. Anyone could see that what Emmy had said about him was true. Any woman who was the least bit interested in a relationship would be all over him. Just because she wasn’t one of them didn’t mean she wanted him to fall in love while he was still here. She didn’t know anyone in this group outside of Donna. They could be horrible people.
It might not be the right thing to do, but she wasn’t willing to give him back until she had to.
Unfortunately, after going through the pile of cards three times, she had to face the truth. Cameron’s card was gone. She thought about barricading the door until she got it back, but so many people had left. How could it hurt this much when she and Cam had no future? He deserved to find the right woman. And she needed to back off until she got him out of her system. Yet all she could think of was how he’d held her Friday night. How he’d run his hands through her hair and made all her worries vanish.
What had she done?
14
CAM HAD JUST gotten into bed after a hell of a long day. It was past two and he wanted nothing more than to crash. He’d left a message for Molly, telling her he’d be closing the bar and that she could call whenever it was convenient if she had time, but he hoped she was sleeping.
As he reached for his bedside light, his cell phone rang and he took it out of the charger. “Molly. What are you doing up so late on a Wednesday night?”
“Technically that would be early on a Thursday morning.”
“Details, details.” He turned off the lamp anyway, then lay back on his pillow, not half so tired anymore. “I’m glad you called.”
“I’ve been thinking about you,” she said.
Something didn’t sit right. Between her first sentence and her second, her voice had changed. “That’s good, because I think about you a lot.”
“During work?”
“Are you kidding? I can’t keep my mind off you. I’m a hormonal sixteen-year-old all over again.”
She laughed, but nope. There was something going on.
“Molly, you okay?”
“Of course,” she said, then sighed. “I had a stressful day. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you.”
Cam sat up and turned the light back on. “What happened?”
There was a long pause where he could hear her breathing, but nothing more. It made him anxious, but he didn’t want to rush her.
“I made a mistake,” she said, finally. “Something that sounded like the right thing, but I don’t think it is.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
Another pause, but this time her breath was shaky. Was she crying? “Honey?” he said, lowering his voice, wishing he could see her.
“I’d planned to, but now I don’t think I can,” she said. “Not yet.”
Not yet? “That’s fine.” His chest tightening, he felt helpless but he knew not to push. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Talk to me?”
“About?”
“I don’t know.” Molly sounded so lost, it sliced through him. “Your mom?”
That startled him. Had something happened to Simone? It was such an odd request, but then, growing up without a mother was something else they had in common. “I don’t remember her much,” he said. Maybe she’d tried to look for her parents and found out something bad? But he wouldn’t ask. She’d tell him when she was ready. “I was only five when she died, and even though we had pictures of her and some home movies and stuff, it was like seeing someone in the role of Mom, you know? Like when you buy a picture frame and there’s this happy couple already in it. So I used to make up stories about her. I knew her real history from my dad, but my versions were better. For a year I’d convinced myself that she was working undercover. That she’d come back one day, surprise us all. And my dad would stop being sad.
“I’m not sure about your circumstances, how you ended up in the foster system, but I assumed...” He sucked in a breath, wishing he’d thought for a minute before he’d started talking.
“I’d assumed you probably did that, too. Made up stories about your mom.”
“I did,” she said, her tone lighter, but still not Molly. “I made up stories all the time. I was really young when I was abandoned. No one has any idea who my parents were. I was just a little kid left at a YMCA in Midtown. Like in the movies.”
“Damn,” he said. “That’s rough.”
“No, I was okay. Lucky. It only got hard when I was old enough to realize I wasn’t wanted. That felt personal.”
“So you used to think they’d come back and get you?”
“Constantly. It was never their fault. Something terrible had happened. Mostly, when I was really little I thought they’d been carried away by a tornado like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Then later it was Voldemort who had them. I think Harry Potter helped more than anything else ever could have. I used to draw a Z on my forehead. When I was fifteen, I tried to have it tattooed. But the artist wouldn’t do it without permission.”
“I imagine you’re pretty grateful that didn’t happen.”
“Some days I wish I had.”
Cam winced. “Was today like that?”
Her bitter laugh told him the answer even before she said, “I don’t deserve that mark today. I doubt I ever did.”
“I wish you were here so I could look you in the eyes and tell you that’s not true. You’re remarkable. In so many ways. Whatever it is you did, I know there had to be a reason. It’ll all work out. I promise.”
“Oh, Cam...don’t say that.” She let out a shaky breath. “You know what? I’ve kept us both up too long. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Molly—”
She’d already disconnected. Cam got up. He wasn’t tired any longer, and he thought about getting dressed, going over to her place. But for all he knew, he’d just make things worse. Besides, that was what a boyfriend would do.
A glass of water was a crappy thing to drink when the issue was Molly and the answer unclear, but it was too late for alcohol. Except for the fact that they were now having sex, her goals for their relationship hadn’t changed at all. There was exactly one thing she wanted them to be: convenient. That was all. He’d already stepped into the murky water of liking her too much. To rush to her side would be crossing a line. It hardly mattered that he didn’t know where the line was.
