“That doesn’t mean that I can assume that you would want my company.”
“Why wouldn’t I want you to join me? After all, you have been kind to me.”
“I’m not being kind without a reason. A man like me always has a reason to do what he does. Take Max. He is enthralled with you because you satisfy a need in him.”
“And for what reason are you being so generous to me?”
“I have a need that you satisfy as well.”
“And what is that?”
“You resemble my wife.” Intrigued by his frankness, I leaned back. “The likeness is uncanny. We were childhood sweethearts. She had the same bright eyes and the same look on her face that you did when I first met you. I am taken with you to the point where I can’t think about anyone or anything else.”
“Mr. St. John, no woman wants a man to tell her that she reminds him of his dead wife.”
“I know. Remember, call me Charles. You said that you like honesty, and I was trying to be as honest as possible.”
I could tell that he was embarrassed to open himself up to a complete stranger, especially a man like him—extremely rich and powerful. It was a shell I could never crack with Max. I had to force everything from Max, and still, to the end, he was reluctant to come clean.
“I see you are drinking, Alex. Maybe it’s time to ask you for a dance. Would you care to dance with a lonely man?” He stepped out of the booth and stood with his hand extended. I reached for it, and he took my hand. I stood next to him, and he placed his hand behind my back and led me to the dance floor. I felt the warmth of his body ease into mine. He looked into my eyes, and I could not look away. His handsome, strong face brightened because of the sheen radiating from his silk light gray suit and white open-collared shirt, which caused the gray on the sides of his hair to glisten, and he looked so distinguished. I hadn’t been able to see how handsome he was before because I could not see anything or anybody but my Mr. Black. Now I was seeing Charles St. John for the first time.
Charles St. John was only a few years older than Max, but Max always appeared to have the weight of life on his face and Charles seemed to be at peace with himself. That peace radiated to me, and soon I began to enjoy being in the arms of a man who made me feel as if I was twenty-one or maybe seventeen.
He nudged his nose near my neck, and I flinched. I wasn’t ready for a relationship with Charles. I had just started a new job that I liked, and I liked the people. I didn’t want to complicate it with a relationship with the big boss. He didn’t look like the kind of man that you could be intimate with and then take yourself away from at any moment without either of us going into withdrawal.
“Please don’t misunderstand my intentions. I want you, but I am willing to take as long as necessary for you to decide whether you want to be with me.”
“I can’t be with anyone at this time. I’m just dancing with my boss,” I said as innocently as possible.
“Look around you. Do you see the stares and the smiles? Everyone is saying we make an outstanding couple.” I hadn’t noticed that all eyes were zooming in our direction. “My people know me. They know that I was never interested in any woman other than my wife. They know that if I’m dancing with you, then you are the one.”
What does he mean, I am the one? I don’t want to be the one. I just want to be. I just want to be happy without rich men controlling my life. I just want to exist in this universe, without all the nonsense. Is that too much to ask?
Finally, the song came to an end, and I could break away from St. John’s universal pull. He took my hand and led me from the spot where he had declared that I would someday be his and back to friendly ground. I sat, and he inched to the side of me. He looked into my eyes and reached for my hand. I reluctantly hid my hand in my lap.
“Tell me something about yourself.”
“Yes, Alex, tell St. John, and why don’t you start with me.” Holy shit, it’s…
We both looked behind us. “What are you doing here, Maximilian?”
He moved to the front of the table, and my eyes grew wider. Was he going to expose me to Charles? “I was informed that Alex would be here.”
“So now you have infiltrated my staff with a mole. I wondered how you were getting information on me. It would have to be someone high up the ladder,” Charles stated with an arched eyebrow.
“I’d say pretty high up,” Max said, sharing a glance with me.
“And now that you are here, why don’t you join us?” No. No. That’s the wrong move, Charles. You are inviting the wolf in. This is not good. Max remained standing.
“How many times are you going to keep showing up when I’m with Alex?”
“You will see me as many times as necessary. Or until you just go away, Charles.” His eyes bored into Charles, and he shot a mischievous smile in my direction. Then I noticed that there was a small tattoo on the inside of Max’s palm, between his thumb and finger. It was a star. I had seen that star when Jonas was drinking coffee. Standing before me and ready to sit was Jonas Blackstone, not Max.
“I have something to say about Max sitting with us.” I turned to face him. “I don’t want you to interfere with our conversation. Please go, Max. I’m sure you have heard the expression ‘three is a crowd,’” I said, leaning forward and lifting my face to meet his downward gaze.
Jonas glared at me. “Only if you’re vanilla.” And he walked away.
Charles looked in bewilderment. “What was that all about? I’ve never seen Max walk away from anything. Did you understand the comment he made?” Charles, a man of the world, understood exactly what was said. He appeared to be checking to see if I had knowledge of what had been tossed to me. It was a ball I hadn’t seen.
I hunched my shoulders like a teenager and pretended that I didn’t understand what the hell he’d said. I was satisfied that I had gotten rid of Jonas, who had caused enough trouble. Because Joshua didn’t approve of me dating Charles, and his position may have been in jeopardy, he had probably called Max to report on my whereabouts, and Max had sent Jonas.
Chapter 4
After drinking too much and eating far too little, my stomach rebelled. “I’ll take you home, but first I need to get some food into you.”
“OK,” I mumbled. I had never felt so sick in my life. Was it the mixture of drinks that my body, at less than a hundred pounds, could not handle? That probably was it. I was never one to drink, and food had always been my second thought. I could survive on tuna fish and sardines for months. That had been my diet when I ran away from home. I had loaded up on tuna and crackers from the pantry and stashed the cans and opener in my backpack to see me through my next meal.
“I’ll let Marianne know that I will be escorting you home.” He pulled out his phone and texted her. Helping me to my feet, a sober Charles marched me through the doors, shielding me from cameras. I climbed into Charles’s limo, too sick and too drunk to care. I could have been abused in the worst possible way if Charles had been less than a gentleman. That’s how sick and weak I felt.
My feet were heavy and my head light.
I woke to the sound of my smartphone in unfamiliar surroundings. I answered the ring. It sounded like the old-fashioned ring of a princess phone my mother once had. “I have to change that ringtone,” I insisted. “Yes, who is this?”
“Alex, what are you doing to yourself?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“This is Max.”
“Oh, hi, Max. What do you want?” I said in a dreamlike state. I thought it was a dream until I rolled over, and felt the sheets. They were Egyptian cotton, with a thread count of over a thousand. I hadn’t felt this great lately on my rough two-hundred-count sheets. I was not in my own bed. I looked around and saw nothing that reminded me of home. It was too luxurious to even imagine. There were no Monets, fake or otherwise, hanging on my wall with a little light for viewing. Then I glanced over to see a portrait of a woman who looked almost my double.
&nb
sp; “It must be his wife,” I mumbled carelessly into the phone, forgetting that Max was on the other end.
“What are you talking about? Did St. John drug you? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“No one drugged me. I am perfectly fine.”
“I’m coming to get you.”
“No, you are not.” I sat up. “If you set foot on Charles’s grounds he will have you arrested. I don’t want you near me.”
“Very well. I’ll see you when you’re home. And you can tell St. John for me that if he touches you in any way, he will have me to deal with.” For some reason Max was fixated on St. John doing something to me.
Did he think that I would give myself to another man because I gave myself to him with little effort? I would not make that mistake again.
“Max, you have lost your mind. Never show up at my home without an invitation. I have to go.” I pushed the button and that was the end of Max. I felt great. One man willing to fight for me and another wanting to be with me, not for my body, but for me the person. Yet that didn’t ring true.
Men don’t fight for a woman’s mind. They fight to have her body and soul. For now my body belonged to me, but my soul belonged to Max, and he knew it.
Whenever I heard Max’s voice, or when his hands touched my body, my soul disappeared into him, and I waited for it to return to me.
There came a knock at the door. “Wait. I have to get dressed,” I mumbled. I sat up, looking into a mirror across from the bed. I had on my short black dress from the night before, but my six-inch heels were parked near the bed. I hopped out of the large bed and opened the door. Standing in front of me was Charles with a tray of breakfast food and a bright, nervous smile.
“I’m going to leave the tray here, and when you shower…” I looked at him, dressed in a blue jean shirt and pants, and I thought I had fallen in love. It was just that I missed Max, and the closeness of another handsome man became sheer distraction. How could I handle this man when I could barely control Max with his insatiable sexual desires?
“I don’t have any clothes to change into.”
“But of course you do.” He walked to the closet, opened the door, and pointed to the miles of blue jeans I could select. “See? While you were sleeping, and quite well I must say, I had someone bring in clothes for you. You can take them home or leave them here; it’s your choice.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just enjoy the moment. I’m enjoying you being here.”
St. John left the room and closed the door behind him. Rushing into the shower, I spent half an hour trying to sober up from last night. I had a wonderful time, I thought, until that pest Jonas Blackstone ruined my fun. I gobbled down a small breakfast of poached eggs, yogurt, and toast.
A newspaper nicely tucked on the tray caught my attention.
Reaching for the morning paper, I spied the headlines: DNA Results Suggest Tie around Heiress’s Neck Connected to Maximilian Blackstone.
I swallowed my water, coughed loudly, and choked. A picture showed the dashing, handsome, rich, sexy fuck, who I loved, sporting a wicked smile and a cigar in his hand. Where had they stolen that picture? I wished I had one in my bedroom. I tore the picture and article from the front page and slipped it into my purse. Then it came to me: no judge in the world would give Max custody of Maxim.
That thought quickly faded. I dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I walked out of the room and headed down the stairs. I saw Charles standing at the foot. “You are so pretty. I wish you would let me do more for you.”
He held out his hand, and I took a step onto the marble floor. “You can start by having your driver take me home.”
“Can’t you stay longer at least until after dinner? You don’t have to be to work until Monday, after all. It is Saturday, and my cook has prepared a wonderful meal. I don’t like to eat alone. Do me this one favor for a lonely man.”
Charles was a very persuasive man, and I succumbed to his charms. Before dinner he took me on a tour of his estate, and we stopped at his garage, which contained every car old and new that a man who was rich and loved cars could amass. We rode through acres of land, and then to the stables where he kept his horses. He stopped and stepped out and then opened the door for me. “My wife loved animals, and especially horses. Do you know how to ride?”
“I’ve never had the opportunity.”
“Do you mean Blackstone has never taken you for a ride on his ranch? He has some of the best Thoroughbred horses on that Montana ranch.”
“No. I’ve never…”
“What has he been doing with you?” All he has been concerned with is satisfying his urges for sex. I know he tries to say that he was making love to me, but that is all it was. It is what it is.
“I don’t want to discuss Max.”
“I apologize. I’m sure you have unpleasant memories.”
“Not at all,” I said, catching and holding his gaze.
“Come with me.” He took my hands. “You can ride with me, and next week, I will see that you have riding lessons. We can be together and enjoy the peace of the outdoors.”
Charles was busy planning my life with him. I didn’t want this to happen, at least not now. I needed time to deal with Max, but I needed Charles St. John as well. I guess it was a quirk of rich, successful men to take over and control every aspect of someone’s life, especially if you made the mistake of getting them involved. I had had enough of the controlling Maximilian Blackstone, and I wasn’t about to hand over control to St. John.
“I’m going to be extremely busy for the next two weeks, Charles. Maybe we can discuss the offer another time. I think we should go back. I need the time to rest and ready myself for my job.”
My hand stroked a brown horse with a white face and adorable wide eyes. Charles placed his hand over mine. “If you give me time, I could make you the happiest woman alive.”
As much as that was a tempting offer, I couldn’t figure out how to be happy with a man I loved beyond measure, so how could Charles make me happy? That had to be the best trick a man could pull out of his hat, but I doubted that he could do it, and I didn’t want to invest more time in waiting for him to pull it off.
“I can’t promise you anything, Charles. I hope you understand.”
“I want…no, let me put it this way: I need you,” he said, holding my hands and gazing into my eyes, making me weak. I wanted to be weak. I wanted to feel something for someone besides Maximilian Blackstone.
“Why me? I don’t understand. You are handsome, rich, and successful…”
“I have all these things, but I don’t have you.”
“You are making me uncomfortable. I don’t even know you.”
“How long was it before you knew Maximilian was the one for you?”
“I told you before that I don’t want to discuss him.” I turned and rushed to the car. I closed the door. Charles walked slowly to the silver convertible and hopped in. He glanced at me a moment. I didn’t want to meet his eyes. I stared downward, holding my hands. He started the car, and when my mind focused on him we were at his driveway leading to his door.
“Please have your driver take me home, Charles?” There was disappointment in his face, but he didn’t give a word of protest.
He nodded and after a minute he looked away and said in a low voice, “Whatever you desire, Alex.”
***
I made it home. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth. Charles was a man of his word. His driver took me immediately home. I lumbered through the door and found Crystal sobbing into her pillow on the sofa. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Every time I find someone I like, they have to leave me.”
“Oh, Joshua,” I said, dropping my things on the table. “He’ll be back. You don’t need to cry over him. He’s faithful.”
“I know, but I’m not as faithful as him. I just might find a bum and go off with him and then screw it up with Joshua. I’m just like th
at. I don’t know why I do things like that. I just do.”
I put my arm around her. “I’m going to make sure that you don’t fuck this up with Joshua. I love him like a brother, and I’m not about to let you mess up with him. So dry those eyes. You don’t want to look a mess, do you?”
“You promise. Promise me that if I stray, you will kick my ass.”
“That I will promise.” I knew what I was saying was empty threats and promises. No one can control a person’s behavior.
Chapter 5
Joshua flew off to Hong Kong. He left us with our tears when we tried to make him feel guilty as he boarded the jet. We each had different motives. Crystal had found a truly honest and caring man, and deep down in her shallow mind, she knew it, and I couldn’t bear to part with a big brother who wanted to see me happy.
So Crystal and I sent Joshua away and had our pity party along with a fridge full of wine that had been an unexpected present from Charles. It arrived in a crate, and by the name sketched on the outside, I knew I had never drunk such decadent wine before. The names were so French that I’m sure the French couldn’t pronounce them.
We opened a bottle and found some cheese and fruit to imitate what we thought Frenchmen and Frenchwomen would do when they sat at a bistro and relaxed during lunch in Paris. I had always thought about going to Paris with the man I loved. I made a toast. “Here’s to Paris and the men we love.” We threw down another glass of wine, trying to get drunk and trying to forget our men. Sometime during our second bottle of wine, we heard the persistent ringing of my phone.
“Alex. Alex.”
“Max, I have nothing to say to you.”
“Listen, will you? This isn’t Max. It’s Jonas.”
“Then I hope you don’t take it the wrong way when I say I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I understand how you feel, but let me get this out. It’s Max.”
“What’s wrong with Max now?” I asked, casual and unconcerned.
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