by M Dauphin
For Her © February 2016 by M. Dauphin
All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental. All sexually active characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.
This book is for sale to ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.
Cover design © 2016 Inked Imprints
First Edition February 2016
Editor: TCB Editing
Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.
Just remember…. I love you and I always will.
Alexis
“Mommy! Eliza told me I’m never going to have a boyfriend!” stupid Eliza. She doesn’t know anything. She’s mean, I don’t like having to play with her.
“Honey,” mommy says, kneeling down by me and wiping my tears from my face. “You’re beautiful, you deserve everything happy in this world. One day, a long time from now, you’re going to find a man that treats you like the princess you are. He’ll love you, cherish you, and when you find him you’re never going to let him go.”
I sniffle, because I’m only five, but Eliza’s words really made me sad.
“Oh baby… you’ll find him. And when you do, you’ll know.” Mommy hugs me and makes me feel better.
For now, at least.
***
“Al, you there?” A voice comes through the fog, but there’s nothing.
I feel nothing. No sadness, no pain, no happiness.
Nothing.
***
“Hey.” I look up from my notebook and freeze at the man staring down at me. Beautiful, dirty blonde hair, brilliant shining eyes, and he’s smiling at me.
At me!
College life hasn’t been as interesting as it is in the movies yet, but I’m only a month in. This boy staring down at me, smiling like I’m his new favorite thing to look at has me hopeful that things are about to look up.
“Hi,” I say, trying not to let the damn giggle that wants to escape, out. I’ve never had attention from such a… beautiful… person like this before. He’s seriously gorgeous; I’m smiling up at him like a giddy school girl.
“This seat taken?” He points to the seat next to me, the one that my bag is currently residing in, and smiles.
“Oh um, I uh.. no it’s good. Let me just… move…” Grabbing too quickly for the bag, I fumble it and the insides go falling all over the floor. Shit! Smooth move, Alexis.
“Here, let me help,” he chuckles as he helps me collect the notebooks and pens that were strewn all over the floor.
“Thanks,” I whisper, tucking my hair behind my ear as he takes the spot right next to me. One spot, right next to me… and starts working his way into my heart.
***
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“She’s just groggy from the drugs. It shouldn’t be that much longer. Let her rest, son… she’s not going to be waking to much sunshine.”
***
“Braydon Michael Simms, meet Alexis Grant.” Lane’s introduction feels so formal, but the sweating musician in front of me looks like he needs anything but formal. He looks like he needs a shower. And a drink. And a girl in his bed next to him.
His eyes travel up and down my jeans and plaid shirt, he grins at me. Suddenly I realize why the other women in this bar have been swooning at him. The whole package... the muscles, tattoos, and hair all make for one sex package like none other. How do I get myself into these situations, surrounding myself with people that are way out of my league?
“Nice to meet you, Al,” he whispers, taking my hand and kissing it gently, sending waves of feelings I’m not used to throughout my body.
I raise my eyebrows at Lane and cock my head, trying not to laugh at the outrageous behavior of this beautiful man.
“Friend,” Lane stresses, “No touching. I’ll murder you.”
The laugh that comes out of Braydon has me smiling. As their laughter rings through my ears, we make our way to the bar, I can’t help but think of the predicament I’ve gotten myself into.
Damnit these boys are going to be the end of me.
***
“It’s been two days.” There’s that voice again.
Braydon.
Why’s Braydon in my room? And who’s he talking to?
“Babe,” I groan, reaching over the bed for Lane. “Lane?” I try to move my hand again, but something’s stopping me. “What the…” prying my eyes open, everything looks foggy. Really foggy… and really wrong.
“Al?” Bray’s voice again. What the hell is going on?
“Lane.” My throat hurts and I feel like I’m yelling when all that’s coming out is a whisper.
Shit I have a headache.
Looking around, my eyes start to adjust to the room, that’s when I see where I really am.
A hospital bed.
That’s the beeping I’ve heard through the dreams I’d been having. The background noise that wouldn’t go away.
Holy shit.
“Braydon?” My eyes won’t focus still, but I need something familiar. Nothing here is familiar! What the fuck am I doing here!? “Bray!” His hand rests on mine, I flinch from the pain radiating up my arm.
“Shit, sorry,” he mumbles, moving his hand away. That’s when my eyes finally notice him sitting at my bedside. He looks horrible. Red eyes, unshaven, wrinkly clothes. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
“What’s going on?” Lifting my hand I see the IV, I see the stark white sheets that are scratching my skin. Jesus, every part of my body hurts. I need to sit up more. I need get these sheets off of me. Oh my God it hurts! “Braydon help me!” I start to scream, not even sure what I’m doing, but I need these sheets off of me. They hurt! It all hurts!
“What? What’s wrong? Nurse!” His hands try to help me with my quest, ripping the blanket down and that’s when I see it.
“No,” I whimper, “No.”
“Al,” Braydon’s voice cuts through my sobs, but I can’t stop.
“What happened?!” I scream at him, frantically reaching down to touch the empty bed where my leg should be. “What happened, Braydon!”
His eyes start to tear up as the nurse comes to my bedside with a needle in hand.
“It’s ok, Alexis. You’re fine. You’re at Allmands Hospital. We’re taking good care of you.”
“What happened?! Where the hell is my leg!?”
“I’m just going to give you this to relax you until the doctor gets in, sweetheart.”
“No… No I need someone to tell me what happened!”
“Al,” Braydon sighs and leans in, kissing my forehead. “Just rest, Al. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
As the cool liquid starts to stream through my veins I fight to stay awake, but it pulls me under as Braydon’s hand caresses my cheek.
Where the fuck is Lane?
***
“You ready to go?” He’s
standing in my doorway, hand on the door frame, towering over everyone else in the room. There’s about eight of us girls in here, but he’s staring at me expectantly as I finish putting on my mascara.
“Just have to make sure I look good enough,” I say, grinning. I look up at him as I swipe on my cherry flavored lip-gloss that he bought me as a joke last week.
“That’s child’s shit, Alexis. You don’t need all of that to look good,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. The other girls in the room swoon over his comment, but it just makes me want to try to annoy him more. I like the green beast of jealousy coming out in him. Even if he’ll never know how I feel about him, at least I can pretend he’s jealous over other guys being with me.
“All in a day’s work, Lane.” I smile, swatting at his ass as I walk out of the door to my dorm room. “You coming?” I turned to look behind me, I can’t place what look he’s giving me, but he soon shakes it off to follow my lead.
Tonight we celebrate. Tonight we party. Tonight, we forget.
***
“I still remember the first time I met you, Al,” Braydon’s whispered voice pushes its way through the fog. I try to stir, but everything hurts. “You looked so out of place, Al. Jeans, your flannel shirt… hell, I half expected you to be wearing cowboy boots.” He chuckles and I leave my eyes closed, letting his soothing voice resonate through my body, trying to piece back together the broken pieces. His voice is something I can fall asleep to easily. Deep, smooth, rough when he wants it. It’s… peaceful… right now. “The chucks saved you,” he whispers, then sighs. I feel his forehead lay on the bedside and his hand takes hold of my hand. “I’m so sorry, Al.” His voice is weak and I feel the first shudder of his sobs. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I want so badly to comfort him, but I don’t know what he’s sorry for. I don’t know why I’m here… and I’m having a hard time caring right now. The drugs the nurse gave me a few hours ago are too strong, they start to pull me under, as soon as I try to wake up.
I heard him. I just don’t understand him.
By the time I crack open my eyes again, it’s bright in the room and there’s no one here with me.
Empty. Like the bottom half of my leg.
The blankets are back over me, but that’s ok now. Now that I know what’s under them… rather… not under them… I’m ok not seeing it. I’m ok being alone. I’m useless now. And to make it worse I don’t even remember what put me here.
The last thing I remember is Lane, Braydon and I being at dinner. I remember the good news for Lane and my heart swells… then shatters when I realize that once he sees me like this he’s not going to want me anymore. He’s a fucking model. Sure, he loves me, but I’m not sure he’s going to love the thought of having a gimp girlfriend.
Fuck.
He’s going to leave me. I’d leave me. Look at me! I’m pitiful, useless, brain dead practically because I can’t remember shit. I’m all alone! My heart breaks because I know I’m going to have to break it off with him… it’s for his own good. I love him with my entire being. Knowing that I’d be the one holding him back from success isn’t going to fly. I’d rather be miserable alone than miserable and bringing him down with me.
Oh my God, how did all this happen? I feel a tear slip down my cheek, but don’t bother to wipe it off. More follow, but I don’t have the energy to move my arm to dry my face. Who cares anymore? I’m never going to be able to do shit on my own anymore, no man is ever going to want to be with me… this changes everything. Fuck.
“Alexis?” I hear my mom’s voice and turn to look towards the door, hiccupping from the tears and sobs. “Oh baby.” She rushes over and wraps me in her arms, just like she used to do when I was a kid. “I know, sweetheart.”
“I’m broken, mom!” I sob, pushing my head into her neck to try and hide from the big bad world. “I… I don’t know what happened, I wake up without a leg, I haven’t seen my boyfriend and he’s going to hate me… it’s all ruined!” I know I’m rambling and sobbing, but I can’t stop. It all starts to spill out once her arms wrap around me, I don’t hold anything back.
By the time I’m done I can tell she’s been crying right along with me. My gown is wet, her shirt it wet, and we’re both a fucking mess. I try to laugh at the unfortunate state our puffy faces are in, but she just shakes her head, reaches up drying my face.
“It’s ok, Alexis. You’ll get through this,” she says, then clears her throat and looks at the door. “We all will have to,” she whispers, leaning down and kissing my forehead. With scrunched eyebrows, I watch her walk towards the door, stopping when I speak up finally.
“I don’t understand, mom. What happened?” I instinctively make a move to cross my ankles, a move I used to do all the time, but when I come up short I pause to look down at the blankets.
And my stump.
That’s when the tears start to flow again. That’s when I realize I’m never truly going to be me anymore.
When the door opens, I see Braydon’s figure standing there, his eyes glancing from my mom then back to me, I cry harder. I’m so happy he’s here, but I need my other friend right now. I need Lane. He needs to reassure me he’s not disgusted with me. He needs to reassure me he still loves me.
Oh God, I can’t take it if he doesn’t love me anymore.
“Where’s Lane?”
I think I screamed it, but with the crying and shaking I don’t really have control of much else in my body.
“I just need my boyfriend!” I cry.
He walks over to me quickly, but he doesn’t touch me yet. My mom sighs and shakes her head, leaving us alone in the room. When Braydon’s eyes hit me, I see his beautiful face morph into sorrow. I know I’m obviously not remembering things clearly. Last thing I remember we were all three having a great dinner and heading home to celebrate Lane’s good news. So why isn’t he here? Why am I the only one in a hospital bed?!
“I… I… what happened to me?!” Putting my face in my hands, I let myself cry… because that’s the only emotion I know right now.
When Braydon’s arms wrap around me I melt into him. When he sits on the bed I do my best to scoot over to give him room, but it’s no use. I’m going to have to learn how to move again! The realization hits me hard, again, and the sobs start all over.
I’m never going to get through this.
Braydon
Three days ago
“So you’re good for tomorrow night, then?”
“Gabe I’ve already answered this,” I huff. Fucking band shit, fucking bar shit… fucking cancer shit. Fuck!
I haven’t had enough time in the day lately to be the best friend I can to Lane and Al, be the best bar owner (albeit behind the scenes but it’s still a fucking ton of work) and be the great lead man in the band that everyone expects me to be. It’s been stressful, to say the least.
“Yea, you have. But the last two sessions you’ve backed out. We need to practice if we ever plan on making it bigger than these local bars.”
“Don’t fucking worry about me,” I grumble, getting pissed as I watch Lane drive like a moron just to impress Alexis. He shouldn’t need to impress her. He’s got her. He’s the lucky one. He should be treating her like a fucking princess, not be driving like he has nine lives. These Goddamned roads are slick, he’s probably too busy finger fucking her to pay attention properly.
“Shit,” Gabe huffs into the phone. “I don’t wanna give you a hard time, Bray. I know this shit with Lane isn’t good… but we can’t drop everything. We need to practice and keep preforming.”
“I know.” It’s the truth too, I know. I just can’t find it in myself to care about too much right now, because my thoughts are on my best friend and his shortened life. My thoughts were on his girlfriend and how devastated she’s going to be when he passes. My thoughts are NOW on the fact that he might not be passing, he might be able to live a full life, and I’m going to have to go on with mine, trying to find some sort of meaning in it. “Fuck, y
ou’re right man.” I need to start moving forward. It’s been too many months of sitting still. “I’ll be there. Make sure everyone’s ready, I have some new shit.” I hang up and toss my phone, hating that I was on it while driving. Last thing we need is a damaged band member.
I’ve been writing on my down time lately. They aren’t the happiest of songs, but it gets me through the nights. The ones when Lane’s been so sick, I can hear him throwing up from my apartment. The ones where I hear Al out in the hall crying to herself, because she’s too strong to cry in front of anyone else. Those nights.
“What the hell, asshole!” A car comes at me straight out of nowhere. These mother fucking dark roads and the fog really put everyone at risk. Pulling the steering wheel directly to the right, I barely miss the side rail, swerving around a pole and slide to a halt just before hitting a light pole. “Mother fucker.”
That’s when I hear it.
The crunch. The collision right where Lane and Al’s car was just a second ago. Sparks start flying, there’s smoke billowing from the truck. Oh God. Fuck it’s so foggy.
“No!” I stumble out of my car, not one hundred percent, not quite seeing straight. The explosion sends me to my ass, though. One explosion. Two cars. At least three people. All probably dead. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck no!” I run towards the car, immediately noticing Lane’s license plate lying in the road. “No, fuck!”
By now there’s other cars stopping, I’m yelling at them to call 911. Call the cops. Do something! I’m yelling for water, or a fire extinguisher. There are tears running down my face, no doubt covered in soot already from the burning truck. I hear nothing from the inside of Lane’s car, I’m so fucking afraid to approach it, but I have to. If they’re alive, it’s barely, and I have to be the one to help them.
“Sir, you need to stay back,” an older man calls from the sidelines.
“Fuck off! They’re my best friends!” I stumble to the car, noticing the front of the car completely gone, the driver’s side door mangled. “Shit shit shit.” I’m mumbling, crying, and trying to pry open the passenger door, because the truck is on fire and still somewhat attached to the driver’s side of Lane’s car. I can’t see inside the shattered windows, but I see nothing moving; no shadows, no screams. My hand on the handle is no us; the fucking door won’t budge!
